Why whiners don’t win at work

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If you want to get ahead in your career, never let ‘em see you sweat. Or yell. Or argue. And whatever you do, don’t cry.

As it turns out, a level head and a pleasant disposition will get you further in your career than even book smarts will.

According to a new CareerBuilder survey, 71 percent of human resources managers say they place more emphasis on emotional intelligence — a person’s ability to control his or her emotions, sense the emotions of others and build relationships — than they do on IQ. Fifty-nine percent of employers even said they wouldn’t hire someone who had a high IQ but low EI.

Among other reasons, hiring managers said they value EI over IQ because employees with high emotional intelligence are more likely to stay calm under pressure, solve conflict effectively and show empathy to their team members.

“Technical competency and intelligence are important assets for every worker, but when it’s down to you and another candidate for a promotion or new job, dynamic interpersonal skills will set you apart,” says Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources at CareerBuilder. “In a recovering economy, employers want people who can effectively make decisions in stressful situations and can empathize with the needs of their colleagues and clients to deliver the best results.”

Want to score high on your next emotional IQ test? The following are some of the most common behaviors and qualities that indicate emotional intelligence, plus expert tips for putting these behaviors into practice in your career or job search.

Demonstrate control over emotions

CareerBuilder survey respondents cited the abilty to “keep emotions in check and have thoughtful discussions on tough issues,” as one of the top indicators that a person has high emotional intelligence.

To help you minimize negative reactions to stress, whether in a boardroom or a job interview, “it is essential to identify your stress triggers and have specific action steps in place to maintain control when the pressure is on,” says Patricia Thompson, Ph.D., a corporate psychologist and management consultant at Sperduto & Associates, Inc., a corporate psychology firm in Atlanta. “Being aware of your triggers and the changes that occur in your body when you are under stress can really help you avoid putting your foot in your mouth or engaging in other behaviors that may sound like a good idea when you are mad, but which you later regret.”

Should you find yourself starting to react to stressful surroundings, Thompson suggests deep breathing, taking a short break or counting to ten in order to keep calm.

Practice self-reflection

“To be emotionally intelligent you must be self-aware, with a good understanding of your strengths and weaknesses,” Thompson says. “To increase your level of self-understanding … I recommend making a list of your top five strengths and weaknesses, then reaching out to others for feedback to get their opinions. Asking others for feedback is a great way to learn more about how you are perceived, and can help to ensure you don’t have any ‘blind spots.’ Once you have a comprehensive list together, pick out two or three weaknesses and create development plans to address them.”

Becoming more self-aware will also help you more readily admit to and learn from your mistakes, another important quality that people with emotional intelligence demonstrate in the workplace.


According to the CareerBuilder survey, hiring managers consider good listening skills to be an indicator of high emotional intelligence.

Thompson suggests improving your listening skills by doing the following. “When you listen to others, try to listen on two levels: First, listen to understand the content of what they are saying. Try to refrain from interrupting or judging while the other person is talking, and instead, give him or her the opportunity to fully make their point. Second, listen to understand the emotions behind what they are saying. What are they feeling? What is important to them in this instance? Can you empathize with any aspect of what they are saying? When you listen to others and can reflect back to them that you really heard them, it can really help in building relationships and managing conflict, even when you don’t agree with all that they are saying,” she says.

Empathize with colleagues

For some people, empathy comes naturally. For others, it may not, but that doesn’t mean empathy can’t be developed.

“Some individuals are primarily logical and have a hard time getting in touch with feelings and empathizing with people,” Thompson says. “If you are one of these people, you might have trouble anticipating others’ reactions or recognizing what motivates them. Or, you may inadvertently offend others by not being sensitive enough when communicating with them. If this is you, I recommend trying to find a colleague who seems to have a higher degree of emotional intelligence, and run things by him or her. By getting someone else’s perspective, you can learn a new way of considering issues.”

For those who may need extra help developing their EI, Thompson also suggest executive coaching. “A good coach will help you to get more in touch with yourself and provide you with practical tools you can draw on to increase your emotional intelligence,” she says.

  1. while this maybe true, sometimes in the workforce team leaders rely on snitches to inform them of other employees foibles. if you don’t happen to agree with telling on others, sometimes you get the cut. so where do you go from there? life is not fair? well welcome to life 101; it happens all the time.

    • I love well-paid professionals advice on subjects they know nothing about. Reality check. This is a classic example of something that *sounds* very true and is perfectly logical, but is completely wrong just the same. Most working-class individuals know this article is a crock of shyte. They’ve worked directly under small-minded petty managers with half(or less) of their own knowledge and skill. They’ve watched lazy workers and backstabbers get accolades and promotions. The ONLY thing that matters in most workplaces is your ability to kiss butt. Failing that, the ability to keep your head down and take aggravation and pathetic raises with a whimper comes in mighty handy. ‘Emotional Intelligence’ my nutsac.

      • Totally agree, Mr. Granieri. Many managers I’ve worked for prefer that their employees show up, sit down, and shut up. And never but never say anything about blatant work issues that arise from lack of leadership.

        • Boy ain’t it the truth! I think we all see foolish things happen in the workplace and I’ve found that after years of watching it happen around us, you become numb and jaded to it. The shameful thing is, the common catch phrase “In this economy”, has seemed to fuel this even more. Everyone is afraid of losing their jobs, so the trend I’ve noticed is people coming to work and nodding politely and listening to the sometimes less than wise management, and just watching the clock until it’s time to go home. Gone is the spirit of forward progression, the feeling that we’re all part of a team or “Family”, and for most people with many years in, they’ve secretly or not so secretly stopped giving a shyte. And, from personal experience, the management seems to like it when people are afraid to speak up or out about things. I always read these “Career help tips” and they seem to be spewed from the mouth of the management themselves. Todays workforce is in big trouble because of the constant fear and bull whipping. As a result, as stated by others, the idiots seem to get away with murder in the workplace and the management gets to continue to manipulate the ranks through the constant fear of being fired. Par for the course.

        • Many of your comments bash the manager or owner. I am an owner of a business. Just for example last wk we had a potential move in. ONE of the employees started whining about the extra work who’s been there for 41/2 yrs. She has been talked to about whinning before. Let alone she did it to a new employee who can do anything and whip circles around anybody except me of course. The new one wanted to know what her problem was. MY employees have it easy. I also do the work at it is easy to do if you have a plan and execute as so. She has been talked to, given ideas ect ect. To these people I just call it lazy and to bash a manager or owner is always not true. You all are probably lazy workers like she is. To make matters even better. I hired a girl and in one 6 hr shift out of 12 hrs, she had the job down pat! How’s that for you lazy workers? She is actually on her last leg because of not being able to perfom her job and that is sad for just being lazy and for being there the longest… I am an OWNER and a worker that does my job+ an employee job. She thinks she has it tough I DON”T THINK SO AND THE REST OF MY STAFF DOESN”T THINK SO EITHER!!! Keep your indecent comments to yourselves because it always isn’t true as in my case! The ones that make the nasty comment are the problems… Just think about that!

          • I don’t mean to offend you, but this heaping pile of shit you posted makes you seem less than qualified management material. On second thought, yes, I do mean to offend you.

            • Personally i do not care about whiners but when i whine about something i expect management to at least hear what i am whining about. There are so many things that can and do bother people and when over looked this has the awful effect of making the person seem lazy when in fact they are just angry about not being heard. Why should a worker work hard for someone when thier whining is being ignored? It seems to me that management gets a big head about being management and think that thier complaints or duties are more valued than that of a employee. If someone is constantly whining about thier job then fire them they obviously do not like the work. I f someone whined and thats all it was chalcked up to is whining then i think that the person who thought that the person was whining should re-evaluate the siutuation try to see it from the perspective of the whiner… if still it seems like just whining then maybe the person whining isnt the best candidate, and should try another position or try to do the job in a different manner. Some people do not know how to just do something different to get the job done more efficiently. I work for married couple. i have several complaints about the woman but i fear the effect of my whining about her because she and her husband both are my employers. Should i whine and just get the reprocussions? I vote no on whining i wait for valid COMPLAINTS and because whining is just chalked up to an invalid complaint i do not whine about the crazy wife. Basically i want to say that whining could be the only way someone knows how to deal with situations… We all didnt have perfect parenting or guidance so please employers and management listen to the whining and if its not something that actually qualifies as a reason to whine then let the person know its a conflict of opinon or simply let them go they arent appreciating the job. A whine isnt a reasone to label a person as a whiner they may be whining for a really good reason.

              • Actually, I resent the term ‘whine’ as it’s being used here. Just because an employee tells management of something they’d rather not hear does not make them a whiner; in many instances, it could well be said that by bringing problems to the attention of supervisors, they are actually being conscientious employees. I wish I had a nickel for every overbearing manager I’ve ever worked for who, after browbeating his staff into complete submission, was then blindsided by a problem of which everyone but he himself was aware (“Why didn’t somebody TELL me about this!?!?!” haha). Frankly, this piece does come off a bit like corporate propaganda…
                BTW, Tammy, before you rant about what idiots your employees are (in misspelled and grammatically incorrect tirades), might one ask….who hired them? :)

                • I was labeld a whiner 6 years ago when our company changed the software program we use for information maintenance. Other employees enter data that I, as the information clerk, am expected to retrieve in a moment’s notice. When I went to my supervisors several times over the years and told them there were issues with the way data was entered, I was told it was none of my concern. When they asked for feedback about the new software, I again brought up the various input methods being used and the difficulties of retrieving data that is entered inconsistently. Again, I was told there was nothing to be concerned about and stop complaining as I have a decent job and the supervisors knew what they were doing. Fastforward 6 years and now the supervisors are asking me why the statistical reporting we are required to do is incorrect. I explained the data is incorrect due to inconsistent methods being used for the original data entry. Now they have decided I can go into the system and correct everything. If they had listened when I first told them of the problem, I would not be facing the task of correcting over 20,000 records. One way to get job security, I guess…

                  • Good for you Judy!

                    One thing I learned is that if you don’t get a response from management and you know darned well there’s a problem, just fix the thing yourself. If, as my case also, software is involved, you’ve just got to initiate the changes and execute them yourself, especially since you know exactly what the solution should look like.

                    I remember a few instances of being told, “Hey, you weren’t supposed to do that!” but just answered, “Oh, I didn’t realize that …had to fix a problem that was going to bite us.” Usually, it’s glossed over, but at least things worked out even though few knew about it. I’ll bet lots of other folks have to resort to stuff like this, too.

                    • The obstacle I was facing was the supervisors did not allow me to have the “permissions” necessary in the software to make changes as I saw them. Now I have to go back and fix the mess. If I had been given “permission” from the get-go, statistical reports would be correct and I wouldn’t have to go through 20,000 records checking for errors. They also now expect the errors to be corrected in a month’s time, even though it took 6 years to create the problem.

              • I just have one question! I want to ask the folks who always have the complaints , the whine or the wanting to be heards and it is this ….When you where hired for the job was it based on the understanding that you could do or at least learn the job that you where applying for ? If the answer to that question is yes thats good now follow me here I now want to ask this follow up question. If in applying for this job you weren’t hired as a consultant, advisor ( f/ those wanting to be heard , s speaker or a preacher ( f/the complainer’s) babysitter or daycarer (f/ the whiners) why would any of you think you would have a right to or be disrepectful to the very poeple who provide you with the present oppurtunities you have? I don’t no about you but I was always taught not to bite the hand that feeds me. We all have complaints but in some respects it’s just not are place to say so. And forget EI that’s just a good sign of being mature when we can understand that.

              • Whatever the wife is doing, you can’t win. Unless she’s doing something directly to you, ignore it. If she is doing something to you, get the new job lined up first, say something about it, then quit. Remember, you can’t win that one.

            • LOL it’s funny that most of the people leaving bitchy comments are the whiners. Way to go! Band together, whiners, so you don’t feel so alone!

          • If you’re the manager, God (or whoever) help your business! You’re illiterate and you lack common sense. Or maybe this is just a figment of your imagination and you typed it out on here.

            • Tammy,
              You arwe kidding right-you own a business. You need to re-read your comment. Makes no sense at all. Besides, how do you have time running a business and commeningt on the site. Reality check!!

          • You sound illiterate, uneducated, your grammar is terrible and another one of the “Problem” managers/owners. Your whiner is probably the ONLY one with enough guts to say something, however she was wrong by not going to proper channels to voice her concerns regarding the increased workload to her supervisor, which unfortunately sometimes has no effect either. Subordinates are expected to reply on those who are in supervisory positions. It’ hard when those in charge lack the necessary skills when it comes to managing people and time. The whiner should also NEVER have ranted to the new hire, that was really wrong. Look at most of the responses from the common worker? Evidence stated here clearly suggests that there is a great deal of truth to what all these people are saying.
            I whole heartedly….agree

            • The clearest evidence that mommy and daddy wiped their little butts all the way through their lives, provided designer clothing and footwear, gave them the latest technology as soon as available, bought them a freakin’ BMW, sent them off to college and now are seeing the incompetence that results from not having to understand the value of anything.

              • Take it easy on the BMW’s drivers! I paid for mine through blood, sweat and tears. (Well actually through lots of saving!!)

                I also put myself through University and have a BSc in Software Engineering in which I earned a 2:1. Mummy’s and Daddy’s don’t create grades for you though do they, or did you not pay attention in SexEd/Biology??

                I don’t think it bears any relevance to upbringing if someone is successful in their career or with their finances; the human race is born with the infinite ability to change regardless of parenting.

                Some people just choose to stay in the gutter where their parents dragged them up rather than making something of their life. That is their choice I guess, BUT you should never presume someone’s ‘success’ is a direct product of a ‘silver-spoon’.

                Some people have everything handed to them, some people work their a55es off and get nowhere and some people are just more fortunate to be given the ‘break’ that they need.

                That’s the luck of the draw….but I believe that you make your own luck in this life.

                But back to your point; I take it you have achieved none of these things and therefore in my opinion it is YOU that does not “understand the value of anything”, as you view everything through such cynical and envious eyes you are incapable of uttering phrases such as “Well done” or “Congratulations”.

                A very bitter and immature response to a forum, which actually creates a decent debate.

                • Wow! Some mean replys. I own my own bussiness 17 years We have a nice team and treat each other with respect. If someones has an issue I deal with it and move on sometimes there happy sometimes not. Thats life! You have to do whats good for the company as a whole. Stay positive and smile, whinning puts everyone in a bad mood.

                • Success ? Oh that’s the definition. Hey Narcissus ! Me Stupid and Poor. Me wish me was strong, stoic and successful like you.

                • wow this stuff is great entertainment… hilarious.

                  .i aint sayn she’s a goldigga, but she aint goin out with no broke…

                  silverspoons? i was born with a wooden spoon.

          • Hey Tammy!! WAKE UP GIRL!!! YOU ARE THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THERE EMPLOYESS!! maybe i should say to YOU………”IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT HERE,DONT LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE ASS ON YOUR WAY OUT!! but i am not that kind of manager I work and listen to my people and help them to become successful which intern makes my company a happy place to work for!!and also increases my bottom line because my employees are happy to come to work everyday which intern increases productivity!!! YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY THAT SOMETIME!! :)

            • Please people, managers or owners or whatever you are. Learn proper terms and spelling. Intern is not to be used as you have used it, it is in turn. geesh! Also, I had a manager who told me once, “don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions” before you whine or complain or whatever, try to come up with alternatives instead of just complaining. It will show that you want to improve the situation instead of just beat it down. The workforce needs thinkers not whiners.
              Just my opinion.

              • As a manager, I agree with the statement – “don’t bring me problems; bring me solutions”. I management a team of professionals; they get paid a good salary to perform their jobs, as do I. We each have responsibilities. I don’t ask the team members to work any harder than I’m willing to work, or to do anything I’m not willing to do. Everyone has a horror story of a “bad manager”; in my case, I’ve had several. But I’ve learned from them, as well as from the “good managers” I’ve had. Am I perfect every day? No. Am I a “good” manager? Most days. Our team is high performance, but as in every team environment, everyone has a role. Yes, we have our “whiner”, and we have our “butt kisser”, and we have our “know it all”. As manager, it’s my job to make these roles fit into the team. Everyone brings something to the table. And if they don’t, they usually don’t stay.

                • mary k…you sound like a good manager. I agree with you in that if everyone has something good to bring to the table management should do their best to make sure everyone has a position on the “TEAM”. It is in everyones best interest to work together to make a business successful, after all if the business is not successful everyone looses, not just the whiner nor those who create an atmosphere that produces a whiner.

          • @ Tammy: You need to take a vacation. And yes that new girl probably can’t do your job ‘yet’ because she hasn’t been there long enough. And what’s with this execpt me thing….please you can’t even spell let enough be a good busines owner and manager. And of course your other employees side with you…they don’t wanna get fired…

          • Have you, Kaitlin Madden, read these responses? At least now I know I am not alone with the liers I have to work with. They say they what your input just to shove it in your face.
            Thank you.

          • Wow…..your comment completely validates every negative comment. For one thing, it’s full of grammatical errors….maybe as an owner you should try and represent yourself better. Second, there are definite tones of bullying and condescension. I hope for your employees sake that your approach with them is much different.

          • Wow, if you are a business owner, you might want to take some English and writing classes. Your reply makes no sense, was out of order and hard to follow. I couldn’t follow what you were trying to say. So much for intelligent management!

          • Well I hope your business is not in the communications industry. it was very difficult to follow your rant. After reading your post I’ve come to the conclusion you own a nail salon…

          • What do you own? A carwash? Your English is horrendous and your communication confusing. And your EI, remember what that is, take a course in it. Then maybe you’ll think twice about publicly bashing your own employees on a news website, and you’ll consider dealing with them effectively, face to face, instead. Clearly your management ability is so absent that you had to come to a public website to whine about your employees. Remember, the article we are commenting on is about the negative points of whining. Grow up.

            • Pointers about not whining? I thought we were not supposed to cry, cuss, smile, laugh, frown, react, sweat or otherwise give any indication we are alive. I work in a bureaucracy…I hope I spelled that right for all you purists.
              I am definitely ready to retire. I do not think I can not cuss, react, frown or otherwise refrain from indicating my total disgust with 30 and 40 somethings convinced they are going to the top. As they tear down years of carefully crafted procedures that work to demonstate their intelligence (right.) ignore everyone over 45 who might be able to tell them we already tried their stupid plan and it did not work, and smile at everyone they think can further their interests, spit on everyone they think cannot, I want to puke, not whine. Where are they finding these morally bankrupt idiots for management these days?

          • My take on your comment is that as a business owner, you should be able to spell “etc..” correctly, seeing that you are accusing workers and those who comment as being lazy, although you do not know them.
            I also noticed that you mentioned that you hired a “girl” recently. I sure hope you didn’t hire a child.
            You can tell a lot by a person’s comments.

          • Tammy, If you own your own business as you say you do then you should know better then calling people something you have no idea what they are. Just because people have had a bad work experience with owners and management doing the kiss bum thing and stating there beliefs does not make them lazy workers. You defend yourself which makes me wonder if what you say is ture. You seem to have some guilt there. I honestly have been in both situations and see both sides of what people are saying. My boss know is one where you have to kiss booty to get anywhere. I also have a 2 whinners on my team which makes it really hard for the rest of us to get our job done. You want to state your side then do so. You still need to be respectful and not call people lazy workers when you do not know them nor the work ethics.

          • TAMMY:
            et cetera is abbreviated etc NOT ect.
            Hard to believe an owner can’t spell, and worse yet, does not rely on a proofreader.

          • Wow… talk about issues! Did you count how many times you used “I” “ME” and that you can run circles around any of your employees…

            Glad I don’t work for you!

            BTW: I disdain whining myself, a valuable employee sees a problem and offers a solution. It may not be the right solution as they don’t always have the big picture, but I will take a suggestion any day over a whiner or a cap lock Internet shouter.

            • Thank you Ed!
              We have a winner, not a whiner.
              If you if you have a problem with your work environment, make a suggestion, not a complaint.

            • It seems to me that anyone who says anything that “management” doesn’t want to hear is automatically branded a “whiner”, “troublemaker” or worst of all
              not a “team player”. I wonder how many brilliant ideas have gone into the shreadder because someone was afraid to be slapped with any of those labels?
              It is worth noting that many inventions and innovations were created by individual thinkers with vision. Perhaps this is why American manufacturing has gone the way of the dinosaur and America has slipped to number five among industrialized nations… Cutting off the creative process and relegating it to the status of “whining” is economic suicide.

          • Sounds to me like the only time you recognize her contribution of more than four years, your longest term employee, is to criticize her for not being good enough or not giving more of herself. Maybe you should try a little appreciation for all that she has done. Why shouldnt she feel slighted when you clearly value someone off the street rather than your long term dedicated employee. That is the very source of so-called whining, lack of appreciation by management who prefer to keep the revolving door going for new employees rather than compensate or acknowledge value from the ones they have. It is too bad that new hires only realize they too will be undercut once it is inevitable.

          • Did you stop to think that maybe your case is tge exception?! In most cases the ones who stay longer on a job are the ones who ” kiss butt” and not the ones who do the job well. If one shows that the same work can be accomplished in half the time with better results guess what? Get’s fired for a bogus reason fabricated and has nothing to do with the work…

            • I worked as a civilian and for the military and this is what I notice about employers, employees, managers, and supervisors. No one is really hired for the work they can do. It is all about “Social Perception”. This is why going to school and getting a degree in the field helps! If I have to proove myself over and over to get the “Perception” I want….after a while it creates disdain and burnout. This is why most employess stop giving a “shyte” because it is very little to do with WORK and more to do with BS. Socializing, Snitching, Political Liars, Fraternizing, Favortism, and all that crap makes most workers just want to complain and whine! Did we forget Harrassment? Let’s not forget that either! Articles like this and comments like Tammy really make a perfect example of BS in the workplace. Personality conflicts have nothing to do with EI because in truth….it more resembles a “mental” warzone. Give Respect to Get Respect and listen to your workers. Sop to think… it is all….”whining” or is there a valid complaint such as “Tammy hating on a employee of 42 years”. Where is the Loyalty and Appreciation in that? Lazy? Huh! It’s classic BS.

                • Are you getting paid for proof reading on this forum? You spelling police need to relax, why do you care if someone posts something that is misspelled? First of all, they could be in a big rush, and secondly perhaps they don’t have the level of education that others are blessed with. They have the right to participate and express their opinions spelling errors or no spelling errors!

                  spelling, schmelling!!

              • Miley don’t forget the most important thing: at the end of the day SOMEONE has to do the work. That is why it is a great idea to learn your job, do it and be good at it. The butt kissers have to kiss up to make it…woe to them the day they are out of favor BUT while all the butt kissers and insecure bosses who must have them around are smoozing it up at the water cooler, we can be working. Great security in that…someone must at the end of the day, get the work done.

            • Sheesh, what is it with “business owners” and “international hr experts” posting illiterate thought streams littered with grammatical errors? This thread is full of it.

          • This article is written by a Manager/Supervisor “no doubt” lol. Mind you I work for the government as a nurse. I have been working at the St louis VA Hospital for almost 8 yrs and one thing has been consistent and Kathleen hit it squarely on the head. Show up, sit down, and shut up pretty much sums our supervisory staffs ideal of a perfect world where I work. Thing is…that may be all ok in some professions but in nursing that’s an insane attitude to have especially when you have a clerk who sits on the internet all day/night and when you need her to page a doctor concerning a patient she yells “DO IT YOURSELF”! and you as the nurse come to the front desk to address the issue and that same clerk is on line shopping for shoes! Or what about the nursing assistant who when a patient calls out for help, goes checks on the patient come to the nurse assigned to the patient who is in with a different patient and says “your patient in room …needs his nurse and when you as the nurse go back to check on him he only needs to pee and needs his colostomy bag emptied (which is technically the CNAs job!) and instead of doing her job she comes drags the nurse from another patient in order to do her job while she goes back to her internet surfing! What about the clerk in PACU that another nurse said sits and masturbates in front of staff with porn pulled up on his computer or the staff member who she said bent over in front of a patient and his family with her ass facing the patient and stated “you wanna tap this?” These are real stories and when they are taken to our supervisory staff we are told to shut up and do our job and that “it’s not about having someone who qualifies or is ethical for the job, it’s about filling the position with a body”! Fact is…I am a veteran and when I reported patient care issues I was targeted by our Director who has little or no direct affiliation with the military but runs this facility and poorly at that! There’s the supervisor who continued to manipulate, and threaten staff members and their jobs, and those who reported patient care issues were written up inappropriately and given less than adequate evaluations for doing so. When one of his “peeps” was caught stealing and it was reported to him he stated to the employee “I’d be careful who I accuse of anything on this floor because people lose their jobs that way! Yet another low life supervisor with little or NO military affilitation! This same supervisor purchased a new home and solicited money from his staff for housewarming with a noted posted “no gifts” only money which is one of the few things in our government handbook that stats “results in automatic firing!” Do you think he was fired??? Nope…they gave him a cush little job elsewhere where he isn’t in charge of shyte but still makes the same salary from what we are told. This same supervisor had an employee who attempted suicide and when she called to tell him she was admitted to a hospital and why he broke the cardinal rule of a nurse and spread it round to the rumor mill! Then when the employee complained about what he did he went on his computer during work hours on a government computer and asking several nurses finally finding one who would pull her up on their fb page so he could print hundreds of pages of her fb on government time and using government equipment and paper, ink…ect…Yes, it does benefit to just show up, sit down and shut up is the new motto in workplaces in our government even at the expense of patients lives. Our director targeted me right after I reported and I was one of 7 nurses who reported. I wrote her up to the Head of Veteran’s Affairs and instead of addressing the issue with her the head of veteran’s affairs and she went to Channel 2 news and talked about how things have changed and we have all the staffing we need and every thing is all “good” when it isn’t and Channel news “knowing this isn’t true” aired it. So much for ethical reporting! I could go on for months having worked here for almost 8 yrs but what would be the point right? NO ONE CARES LEAST OF ALL THOSE WHO ARE RUNNING THE PLACE!

            • It is such a shame that we as “workers” have to put up with all this crap day in and day out! We can’t change all of the inappropriate behaviors that take place at our workplaces but we can try! Never give up on fighting for what is right! I just try to remember that what goes around comes around. And it does sooner or later!

            • Gracie, your Director of Nursing – his name isn’t RAY by any chance? I worked as a Lab Tech II for a Veteran’s Home in WA State – some time back. The Director there was one sick dude-uh I mean, ‘poor manager’ – long story anyway..your story sure reminds me of some the horrors that went on at the Vet’s home which was later revamped when they received notice of inspection by Medicare…for funding, they cleaned it up/remodeled and it is now long term VA hospital only/not a VA Clinic/DOM as it was prior. Likely not the same Director – but thought I’d ask, as that man, instead of being fired when found out, was conveniently transferred to ?? Wherever they sent him, it wasn’t far enough away. He was my super for a time until I WHINED repeatedly because he knew NOTHING about Lab & was a detriment to my patients – so they transferred my dept. to a new Super who had more respect..still it was a temp position and nine months later, they voted me out, farmed out the lab to a private company. I wonder why.. lol

          • Fact is Tammy “as management” it is YOUR JOB to listen and with an open mind and help find solutions to problems. IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THAT THEN STOP WHINING AND GET OUT OF THE BUSINESS!

          • Personally, I believe that whiners who run and tell the management about some petty issue, or trying to start problems are people who are very insecure. As sad as that seems I believe it to be true. Then again, the constant whiner must think that the management is naive, which some are, because he/she will run and tell on management just the same……

            • Funny you should mention that, Marco. I see your point… and I was just thinking maybe Tammy is the management equivalent. All that ranting and screaming and self congratulation makes me think perhaps her business is overwhelming her, if not actually failing. It’s a downward spiral: things aren’t going well, you get anxious, blow your cool, create a little toxicity… morale suffers, productivity goes down, new problems surface… another blow up… pretty soon everybody’s walking on eggshells and getting nothing done. Then it’s a lot of hysterical finger pointing and nobody bailing water as the ship starts to list. Just a thought.

          • Well now an owner opens her mouth and what falls out nothing good about her worker of 4 1/2 years. If this person is not doing the job then why keep them is it to show that you are more superior then her or what. This is why people complain in the work place people that are not doing the job and the management just turn a blindside to it and go about their buissness. While the good workers keep pulling the weight of the dead beats and do to them being there increases in wages to them are small. When will the management pull their heads out of their backsides and reward the people who are doing the work and pulling the weight. If not for good workers there would be no buissness and sometimes its the good workers who are speaking out. Listen and learn just because you are the boss does not mean you know everything.

            • Manager hire extra people to cover for the people that do not carry the load if they work at all . I have seen a person get promotions just because the manager is scared of her. She dictates what work she will do which is very little. She even states she wants to be a manager which would be a disaster. This lady is nothing but a user.

          • You must be referring to the “fearful” good workers. for someone to be there 4 and 1/2 yrs, you just noticed she is lazy? or would she like to be compensated for the xtra work given. Of course a greenhorn will do better, they are fresh like the 1st round of a relay. Tammy, please use your head, you are so caught up in your own life dear. Am I incorrect?

          • Tammy — I only wish you had been my supervisor on my last job, where a self-proclaimed “diva” would protest at every new task she was assigned. I assume she resented the fact that any extra duties might interfere with her “phone time” which occurred pretty much daily beginning around 4 PM and lasting until 5:15-5:30. I sat within earshot of this person, so this is not speculation on my part. Neither was the constant disruption she posed by singing along (off-key) with her radio. If management ever wakes up, she should be gone. It can’t be THAT hard to find a bi-lingual person to work as a records clerk.

          • Let me start out by saying that I have the upmost respect for any business owner or manager that is willing to perform the same tasks that they require from their employees. However, there are managers and owners that turn the blind ear towards the issues that their employees are experiencing. The company that I am a manager with doesn’t seem to care about the most basic of issues that I have reported to my manager. From my standpoint, I can only become frustrated and negative when I have talked over these issues and seen nothing done to improve on these problems. I don’t whine or kiss butt, but i have still managed to use my credentials to improve my situation. Iwould like to know that the issues that I have brought to my company’s attention are taken seriously. When upper management makes comments like “I don’t know why you are starting trouble” or “i can get any monkey to do your job” how am I, as a middle manager, supposed to perform my duties effectively? I think that is why people get frustrated and whine. The problems that I have seen remind me of the days when owners used to run their companies by the ‘good old boys’ techniques. They think a little turbulence in the work place is a good thing and they don’t want to change.

          • Tammy is full of it !! I work circles around my boss and do most of her job, and Never complain, only to be rewarded yearly with a nothing of what she calls a raise……….even though i am a woman, they are the worst to work for. They think you are always after their job….and the ones that own their own business are even worse…..you’re angry because it’s TRUE !!!!!!

          • Good Morning business owner,
            You sound like a moron and your attitude stinks too. All I hear is whining in your post. If you think someone is lazy, fire them. Until then, learn how to put two sentences together and complete a thought you blubering idiot.

          • This is for Tammy. I would hate to work for you. I am also a owner. I listen to my employees. I even have meetings and ask my employees to “Whine”. This is so I will know where improvements might be made. If you don’t like what she has to say about you or the company, well gess what “Freedom of Speech” she can say what she feels. Listen, really listen not just hear, and you might find something out. BTW you just proved what was being said here, the snich or butt kisser is who you liked more not the loyal employee that has served your compay for the past 4 years. (and with a boss like you that most have been some task). In my company the butt kisses or what I call the trouble maker does not go far, I like hard work, but won’t over work my hardest working employee, loyalty, dedication and people who know what they are doing, as well as those that ask if they don’t know. I would rather have an employee say let me ask and know I won’t get mad than have them just guess so I won’t think they are whinny or stupid. Tammy look like you have a mixture for failer and disrentaled employees good luck with your attitude you need it.

          • Sorry, but with your poor grammar and use of the English language, I find it hard to believe that you are an employer, as what professional business would continue to have contact with someone who cannot spell or write a correct sentence. I think you are just another whining (spelled correctly) schmuck who didn’t get his/her way and are using this forum to try to sound like the end-all and be-all of the business world…..the person who knows it all. I am an employee, not an employer, and would never try to pass myself off as a business owner so that I could spout from a soap box, even though my grammar puts yours to shame!

          • Yeah, that was really difficult to follow. Being a business owner does’nt automatically make you the best leader, or writer for that matter.


          • Well, you are the boss from hell. People generally are not lazy, but given the oppurtunity for managers and boss’s alike to contstantly put you down show your shortcomings ect… not once does anyone say “great job” you feel more of an asset to the company with positives vs negatives.
            Maybe its a training issue on YOUR part, oh thats right you do two jobs, great for you. Just wait 4 more years for your up and coming new protoge to get sick of you also.

          • That’s a whole lot of SCREAMING you do in making a case about what a great boss you are and how lazy and whiny your damn employees are, Tammy. I think I’d rather be unemployed than work for you (of course that just makes me lazy and whiny too, I guess).

            • Tammy – I’m not sorry to say this: You deserve a bitch-slapping. Your “management” style, represented so ineloquently here screams nightmare to almost everyone who posted here – what does that say to you and about you? There are few, if any, perfect managers out there – you certainly would not rank above the bottom rung in my book. I am one of the fortunate gophers – my supervisor is top-notch & believe me, while no one likes a whiner; if I have a legit. complaint -we don’t call it ‘whining’ in the research dept where I work-(rarely do I offer a complaint without providing a possible solution as a matter of common sense in the workplace) my boss is all ears. It is clear she does not oppose hearing me out. She cares about improvements, which includes her assistant’s working conditions. We don’t always come to a perfect ideal, and often we end up tweaking the initial plan. I don’t always get what I want, of course, but I am a content employee, because my manager is open minded, respectful, and complimentary when appropriate. Yes, I know how rare it is to have a truly equal partnership with a supervisor/manager – this is why I know if I ever had to work for a “Tammy’ type, I’d let that door hit me in the ass before that “manager” could whine about me. LOL

          • Tammy,
            You speak of people making “nasty” comments, your comments and disposition were not exactly nice either! So just think about that!


          • I found it very hard to read your response, the grammer didn’t seem to make sense. You said “I hired a girl and in one 6 hr shift out of 12 hrs, she had the job down pat!” So you make your employees work 12 hour shifts? What kind of a sweat shop are you running. How can you expect anybody to do a job for you correctly? You can’t even explain a situation that occured correctly. Communincation is what makes a boss a good boss.

        • Very true about most work places these days wanting people to be seen and not heard. It’s rare that the work place is a team environment in America without the back stabbing and power trips. And we wonder why this country is slipping……….

      • Its totally frustrating to be nice and accomodating when your boss is lazy and unmotivated to do his job. Nice and kissing certian parts is for the fake. My boss is a pro at the schmoozing and people skills and our corp boss loves him, if she only knew how lazy and job skill deficient he was… Everyone has complained and it goes nowhere. It gets hard to be positive and go the extra mile for a boss who u cant stand.. I guess at some point I have just shut down all personal aspects, and just come in and do my 40 hours and go home. I wish I would get fired, so I can have the time to look for something else..crazy I know but why should I suffer economic hardship becuz Im unhappy and its primarily because my boss is an idiot and I have to do most of the work thats his responsability, get no pay increase or recognition, and yet am suppossed to be perky and say yes sir… Seriously??? Not in me

        • Jen, you shouldn’t wait to be fired so that you have time to look for something else. Look for something else now. If you truly believe that you deserve better and want more for yourself personally, then get it done now…no one can take are of you, except for you. I understand your frustration, but something to keep in mind is that your boss’ boss might be just as lazy as your boss. When management is not making the right decisions as far as placing appropriate people in appropriate positions, there is usually something else going on behind the scenes that you and I aren’t aware of. And don’t be fooled for a minute, leadership knows when something isn’t’ right, but sometimes outside pressures hault anything they’d like to change.

          • I agree with Kate Anderson. Don’t wait to get fired. It’s too hard to explain later on. When she said about the boss’s boss also being lazy, I’ve found over the years that “the mediocre protect the mediocre” and those people are the “sharks” that everyone else is supposed to learn to swim with. Case in point: Being on salary (not paid for overtime) and the reason given for being let go? – Working too many hours without permission. wtf is that? Oh, I get it. The boss turned it into insubordination as the creative reason for throwing the person under the bus that was really running the dept. from day to day, sigh!

        • Worst mistake a person can do is hope to get fired from a job.

          It’s easier to find another job while your working than it is to find one when your not. When your not working, it’s more difficult to explain the reason that would be acceptable to a new employer. Plus you don’t want to burn bridges either.

      • Looks like most of the posted comments justify what the article claims. Most of the comments appear to be from the whiners of the workforce. Read some articles on emotional intelligence and you might realize the people with high EI are just well-adjusted individuals. From a disgruntled employee’s perspective, anyone that gets along with supervision probably looks like a butt kisser, but in fact are just people that know how to get along with others. Most will diregard this post, but whiners and complainers rarely improve their lot in life.

        • Jcu, i totally agree with you! there are people here that i work with that complain about this and that- they don’t have Emotional IQ, or just plain IQ, to see that they are the root of the problem sometimes. Get off your butts people! if you don’t like something then get going on changing it! and that includes you’re personality! trust me, i do not come to work to hear you whine and moan, groan and complain!

          • I love it! Whining about whining. I agree you should be possitive at work, if you don’t like your job look for another job. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the patience to read through all the posts here. The posts that stood out to me the most were the ones complaining about Tammy, who said she owned her own company, but couldn’t put together a sentance that was understandable. A boss doesn’t want to be corrected, and when people whine or complain they feel like they are being told they did something wrong. Most bosses became bosses, so they can lead the way they want and don’t have to be told what and how to do something. At one point or another they probably whined and complained as well. They thought they could do something better so they took on the responsibility of being a boss themselves. Thats why I became a boss. No boss is perfect, I for one am not perfect. I don’t always like my job. I don’t expect everyone else to alway love their jobs either. But in the end the job needs to get done. There is also a double standard, while you are whining or complaining about your job, the small circles that lead your company are whining and complaining about you as well.

        • As with most issues dealing with human nature, etc., this topic is a hot one, largely because of the varying perspectives and life circumstances. My husband hated corporate America because of the people it employed, intellecutals with a greedy motivation and rarely reliable to the people among them. I agree with this article in that it does make a person more “human” to have the ability to put themsleves in someone elses shoes. We all need to adjust our approach depending on the person we’re talking to, just like the experts suggest we get on eye level with children. Let’s face it, we all want to be understood by the person we’re talking to, so what’s the matter with providing them with a mature delivery of the subject matter. If they over or under react, that’s their problem, at least you can walk away knowing you did your part with dignity. I understand both sides to this topic, but overall, forget about everyone else’s behavior and concentrate on your own. You may find you’re a happier person the more people you leave a positive impact with,

      • I work at one of othe largest labor unions in the United States and in staff meetings we are flat out told that the whiners (they use a different word) are the ones that get heard and get promotions. There are even effective whining seminars. I do not agree that this is right but I is very true here. One reason why after 8 years I left. Could not whine and look myself in the mirror later so I wasn’t part of the group.

        • @WHINERS GET HEARD…your post is almost laughable! Noone I’ve ever known who reported nor in your words “whined” whom I know ever got heard nor promoted. What planet are you from anyway…In fact those who thought they were doing right by bringing issues up were passed up for promotion and one received a reprimand and a less than favorable evaluation. Part of the process of building a case against the employee no doubt for later firing! Question is…you said you were “TOLD” whiners get heard and promoted but did you ever see it! Can you say stupid and gullible???

      • I loved your comments Leo. Kaitlin’s article basically reinforces the new work view in America that if you want to keep your job, you better learn to grab your ankles and not complain. Hard work and innovative thinking take a back seat to sucking a golf ball through a garden hose.

        Maybe I need to work on searching for some “executive coaching” on my emotional intelligence after I throw up.

      • Leo, Right on target with EVERYTHING you said. If there were more than 4 men working in my small office I would swear you work here! Some bosses are just plain stupid and don’t even know their A$$ from a hole in the ground let alone the employees with the most brains, talent, loyalty etc and we keep on plugging because we are not looser and butt kissers, just honest hard working people.

      • I am in complete agreement with you and being a nurse whose institution got a new CEO who somehow thinks he’ll save money by downsizing those in the trenches and making the psych facility top heavy instead, may be quickly in for a surprise. Already there have been staff hurt because of the staff to patient ratio and being short staffed already, many are talking of leaving. When those of us in the trenches, the immediate caretakers, are gone, where is Mr. CEO going to find people? Pull them out of his butt? Get personnel and Human Resource people to fill in? Not only are they incapable of doing our job, they’re not going to. And sadly, also, are the mentally ill who are not getting the care they desperately need because staff number decrease and major increase in redundancy of paperwork.

        • i agree!! i am an icu nurse working for an agency and was “floated” to a tele unit yesterday. i am not used to working with five pts at a time and kept getting further behind, and i will admit it…..i whined. by midday not only did mgmnt find someone to replace me, i was told i couldn’t return. they admit that my loyalty, clinical skills and level of pt care was excellent but in case the floating needed to happen again, they didn’t want to hear complaints. they are out a good nurse….i am looking for work. i hope to find a place that allows me to stay in my preferred area. the premise here was that if i can work in icu, i am qualified to work in step-down or tele unit. i don;t think so!!!

          • Nancy,

            Sounds like a government VA hospital. They are notorious for floating nurses around to specialty areas they have never worked before. I work on a telemetry unit and we get anywhere from 5-7 patients two to three total cares of the 5-7 patients and rarely get nursing assistants and when we do they are act lazy and entitled! :( I’m sorry your going through that!

            • thanks gracie, it was NOT a va hospital. it was just a reg community hosp in mo. i am still looking for a job and am standing by my thoughts that having been a nurse for almost 50 yrs, i should be able to choose when and where i work!! good luck to you. maybe someday it will be better. i was raised with a good work ethic and that’s hard to find now. nancy

      • Although I’m not surprised that this article has evoked the angry, frustrated responses of some who feel strongly that they’ve been ignored or worse by “lazy, butt-kissing, clueless” management, I’m discouraged at the level of vituperation that is expressed here.

        Unfortunately, given how the middle-class has been systematically fleeced and hoodwinked, I’ll bet that what’s written here is representative of the feelings of most workers.

        I’ve been on both sides of the manager-worker table. I chose to pass on a management role in my last company because I realized that I didn’t like to manage people. I never regretted that decision and as a professional Career Consultant and Coach, I’ve worked with many who now are reassessing thier having succumbed to the allure of moving up the corporate ladder.

        A few brief points:

        1 – Although most of us have worked with a lousy, uncaring, lazy manager once or twice, the great majority are good people who, like their employees, want to get ahead and will seek the path of least resistance to do so.

        2 – Culture flows down from the top. If rotten managers, snitches and butt-suckers have the advantage, it’s because top management allows this.

        3- As has been said before, nobody wants to work with a whiner, naysayer, or doom-and-gloomer (except others of the same ilk).

        4.- If you perceive a genuine injustice, favoritism, or flagrant flouting of policies, procedures or regulations, your integrity demands that you bring it to management attention. HOWEVER, to simply whine is highly unlikely to get results. We all are more receptive to those who deliver such news in respectful, rational ways and suggest reasonable solutions.

        5.- If you’ve heeded #4 and still get nowhere in an intolerable situation, start looking for another job! “Employment at will” cuts both ways. Even if it takes a long time to land a new job, you’ll emerge with your dignity and integrity intact, and that’s priceless.

        • Fred, you’re comments are great. I would like to add that, eventually people (snitches etc) do themselves in, with little help from others. You may not be around to see it, but it will happen.

      • The story is both true and false. Not every manager is the same. Some managers love whiners they can pest and torture. But some managers love hard workers who say nothing.
        The point is neither of these. The point is don’t whine and be pleasent. How hard is it not to whine and treat others you work with decent. Most of those replying to this is missing the point of the arguement. Stop being whiney @holes. Everyone will like you better and maybe you will get more of what you hope for.

      • This happened to me on my last job, After receiving 3 promotions in 10 years, I entered a new depaetment and made the mistake of making 95 on a state test that my boss failed. The next two years were hell. I was harassed until I had a heart attack. So after 26 years of hard work and trying to set a good example for my children, I now am on disability. He ordered co workers of mine, the same ones who also failed these tests to spy and lie. Government employees are much worse about this behavior, because no one has a vested intrest in an efficient workplace. The public needs to know that in the average government building, about 20 percent of the workers do 90 percent of the work. These refuges for ignorant know nothings need to be swept clean.

        • Mary – You can apply that 80/20 rule to most of the places I’ve worked. 80% of the work done by 20% of the same people, with some of the bosses of those 20% taking the credit for the work that their subordinates do.
          What do some of you others do when you don’t have the “ear” of your boss, or your boss’s boss? In my last position, all my boss’s boss knew about me came directly from my boss’s lips, so when it came time for the boss’s boss to contribute his “2 cents” to my performance review, his comments were ultimately based only on my boss’s less-than-stellar understanding of exactly what he thought I did every day and his also less-than-stellar recollection of events and accomplishments from the past 12 months. Talk about being set up for failure!

        • Mary,

          You are right on with the respects to government. Most know that once they get past the “two year” probationary period they can lazy it up all they want and NEVER get fired! In our hospital the lazy, lower ancillary staff tell management what to do. This isn’t an exaggeration. We had an LPN who was written up numerously for patient abuse who was fired “on more than one occassion” but due to EEO/Union was kept on until it got so bad our government supervisory staff let her leave on 100 percent disability at yours and my tax dollar expense! Welcome to America people where having no goals, no ethics and just being lazy is not only fostered but actually encouraged by the supervisory staff. If they had to fire everyone in our building who didn’t do their job…there would essentially be few if anyone there.

      • I absolutely agree with you. It is always or( more often than not) that one small minded, no character individual who lands a spot as a manager or lead person in a company. I have decided that I would never put myself in that spot again because it was not worth it. I have character and I have friends. I will not lose my self worth by deflating anothers and sitting on a high horse just to appear better. I have seen that crap take place in Corps. and I refuse to kiss anyone’s arshk just to get promoted. I too have bolted out of many jobs because of all the**** that goes on. I am not puting to much out on the table when it comes to jobs because that is what they are. Staying in school to obtain a career, that is a whole other ballgame.It’s also rewarding.

      • I haven’t read all the comments in response to this article, but these first 2 pretty much sum up the real problem. Many managers nowadays are not qualified for their positions and lack maturity and emotional intelligence. Increasingly I have found that such bosses like the kiss-ups and listen to their every word, and if that kiss-up doesn’t like you for any reason, then you will be bad-mouthed behind your back. Even if you are a diligent and conscientious worker that never whines about your job (as I have been), the manager will unexplicably start treating you differently, perhaps avoiding you or being cold to you. Mark my words, you are the victim of pernicious gossip that the boss as sucked in like grade-school students during recess.

      • True thing, leo. You have to be nasty and selfish and befriend the right people to get through in life, even though you have to pretend to be nasty, and feel guilty afterwards. But you have to balance it out with a little hardwork too. Everything in moderation. Some people have all the luck and the lazy people does REALLY get the promotions and accolades for real. I hear it happening all the time. And the hard workers like me that always turn the other cheek, that arrives at work first and leave last would just get an award , but the foolishness goes on.

      • Unfortunately, you have hit the nail on the head. Many companies operate in this fashion, including the one I work for. If you don’t kiss the butts of all the managers, then you are passed up for promotions, don’t get raises, etc. The workers with the most knowlege and experience, not to mention, years of service in a company, are simply ignored. Some younger supervisors treat the older workers with no respect whatsoever. Maybe, they view them as a threat, are insecure, or they just don’t have any proper training in dealing with the peasants(description used where I work). It’s a very sad situation in many workplaces today, but, people put up with it, because they need to work, and put food on the table. As the old saying goes “what goes around, comes around”(lord I hope so!)

      • Very true. The less many do the greater their chance of promotion. And the greater chance that you will be stuck doing their workload. This is what leads to turnover in competent employees and hard workers.

      • Two thumbs up Leo!!! Your comment is ABSOLUTELY right! The people you are talking about are the same people being promoted in my office too and I work in a federal environment! There is one worker in particular that the supervisor and the assistant supervisor constantly protects, covers up her mistakes and incompetence because she doesn’t know her job, and completes her work for her on a daily basis. All this employee does is show up and get a check for over $65,000 a year, hangs out in the office of the secretary all day, brags about what she’s bought, and one ups anyone in the office that speaks. And we wonder why our economy is in the dumps!

      • I agree with you 100%. It’s easier for leadership to fire the level heads than to confront the real issues. I’ve watched this first hand as one by one all the EI types left due to leadership’s inability to take control of the situation. EI types are much too self aware to stick around in toxic work environments. If leadership fails to change the work environment, an emotionally intelligent person will take control and change the job! Life is too short to tinker around trying to fix the clueless. I don’t care how bad the economy is, or that I’m getting up there in years, there’s always a way to make a living.

      • I hope your bosses aren’t listening to you guys whine. There are other ways to effect change besides whining. When you whine nobody wants to listen. Try constructive, pro-active ways to get it done! If it’s worth whining about, it’s worth putting the effort into to be innovative and creative and get around the issue you are feeling the urge to whine about.

      • Years ago I workes for a sales company. After every BIG meeting we salespeople would gather for cocktails and BITCH. Well, I didn’t like the feeling and tried to see how I could change things. I asked all those present if they would sign a letter outlining the gripes if I would print it up. Within days, I was brought into the office and asked about this letter. Well, it didn’t exist because nobody had the guts but somebody was certainly willing to backstab me telling the management all about it. Morale–don’t trust the bitchers and bitches!

        • @Bob — This tells me that one of those salesmen was there to spy on everyone else for your company’s management. So at the next big company party, watch your backs. There may be a snitch present who’s eavesdropping on everybody and everything they say.

    • Totally agree. I’ve worked in several places where my managers condoned and rewarded the office snitch. Funny, employers may want to see employees who fit the parameters of this article, but all I have found at work are whining sniveling managers and employees and, as the saying goes, the “squeaky wheels” get all the oil, including pats on the back and promotions.

      • This could be my office you’re talking about. The snitches around here are ridiculous and rewarded constantly, while the hard-working people who keep this place going are dumped on and exploited. The management above all ignores any criticism – constructive or otherwise – in order to keep the “comfort zone” intact. They don’t want bothered with correcting legitmate complaints. Legitimate complaints does not = whining.

      • Employers really don’t want whinny employees is a truth, but the reality is much different- want to be a good employee?
        1- Be a sintch.
        2- Kiss ass like there is no tomorrow.
        3- Never question especially you boss.
        4- Walk the walk and talk the talk…
        5-Spend more time doing things to please your manager more like a personal caretaker rather then what you were hired for.

        If you can do these few things then the grass will be green for you. Otherwise be glad you have a job!

    • agree completely – and more times than not managers don’t want to deal with the real reasons for the emotions running high with some employees – take away the problem child – stop rewarding bad behavior and people will be happier at work with less stress – and most of all STOP making all these golden people who can never do anything wrong for whatever reason!!!!!

    • Everyone should read what Leo Granieri said. He’s absolutely correct on all points. Including the irrelevance of this article which does not reflect the real world.

    • Ann, I certainly agree with you. If you are not a back stabber like most of the workforce then you are on your way through the door. Managers want to know what is going on around them and who is saying what so they can hold it against employees. I was not brought up that way. I cannot be a hypocrite, I tell people what I think to their face, but unfortunately that is not good either, so it’s best to just shut your mouth and take the crap. It’s extremely bad out there and unfortunately it is getting worse.

      • You are absolutely correct. It is so simple to construct a logical and calm article about proper workplace conduct when your “office” consists of you only.

      • I’m not a whiner but I do have an issue with checking my emotions and will take the pointers listed above as far as I can.
        As far as people complaining about managers and who they seem to reward and like as employees….I TOTALLY AGREE!
        I’m almost giddy thinking, “thank goodness! i thought i was the only one!”

    • I was told that if I wanted to be promoted I would have to tell on my co workers, I told my boss he’s got the wrong bitch, dont come to me with this, I have knowledge and Skill. I will be promoted on my know how, well I was never promoted, in fact I was fired, for being a minute late. while all of the other co workers were late everyday, seems screwey

      • It is possible to manage a situation by that by not actually refusing the manager’s request but at the same time being very judicious about the information you choose to share. In other words, it’s YOUR call NOT to share the little petty stuff and to talk good about your employees instead. There is rarely a reason to share the petty stuff with your superiors; instead, share the positive. The world would be a better place, by your not knowing how to play this situation means that chances increase that the next person will maximize the negative and the work place never gets any better. It is what WE together make it.

      • You may have technical knowledge and skills but it is obvious that you have absolutely no people skills, therefore no mangement abilities.

    • The article is a view from the inside. As both an employee, and a business owner, in my working life, I have seen what it takes. It is not whining, or “EI”. You just have to go to work, shut up and put up with anything you suffer with at work. We are still, in corporate culture, in the Feudal System. Just shut up, serf! At least in your own business, you only deal with customers. You are a tradesman at least. Yes another (intentional) mideaval reference.l

    • This just happened to me. I had the balls to tell the mole to quit tattling like a child and I got fired. People who stand up for themselves are the ones who get axed. I hate to say this, but I hate working for a woman. I would rather work for a man anyday. They don’t play into all the drama.


    • As a new manager in the medical field, I’ve learned there is a major difference between a legitimate complaint and whining.

      An employee having to pick up the slack for an employee that’s constantly calling out and performing badly is a legitimate complaint.

      Not wanting to answer phones even though you were aware that it’s part of your job description…that’s WHINING. Also when the higher-ups implement a new policy, and you don’t agree, that’s WHINING. Oh my “favorite”, dress code policy. You want to wear jeans? Go work in a warehouse. It was explained in your interview what the required dress was, stop WHINING about not being able to wear jeans everyday.

    • ann broussard | Aug 30, 2011

      while this maybe true, sometimes in the workforce team leaders rely on snitches to inform them of other employees foibles. if you don’t happen to agree with telling on others, sometimes you get the cut. so where do you go from there? life is not fair? well welcome to life 101; it happens all the time

      I totally agree the point is to be the first snitch it’s how the department I was in was run. I am off on disability now for a year and am completely happy for the first time in 5 years. I will have to return to work next year hopefully at different position and in different department.

    • Wow, I’m a working class guy. I have people who work for me and bosses that I work for. I think it’s wonderful to have a place where all the whiners can come to and whine with each other. Got any cheese?

      Man rule #1- Men don’t whine, If you don’t like something you tell the person what you don’t like and then except the fallout. but men never, ever whine about it. They fix it or move own.

      Woman may whine. but normally as soon as they start, know one listens or cares what they got to say then. Woman should also fix it, or move on. enough said

    • It`s not whiners that ultimately screw you! It`s the managers that are to afraid of sticking up for the good people that work for them. Granted there are idiots in every corporation, including the military. But 9 times out of 10, it`s the one`s (male or female) that stab you in the back because your having to much fun at you job. I saw it in the Navy, I`m seeing it today. You bust your butt doing your job and someone higher up doesn`t want to lose their retirement pay. Guess who gets screwed??? The older workers of this country that the younger workers have cast away as garbage….Rick Sasala

    • Snitches is a harsh word. Snitching on your sibling is one thing but when it comes to letting your boss know about a lazy co-worker that is causing you to work more is not whining or snitching.

      • A boss considers it whining or complaining when they don’t want to do anything about the situation. In fact they will label you as the trouble maker.

    • “According to a new CareerBuilder survey, 71 percent of human resources managers say they place more emphasis on emotional intelligence…” this is HR talking HR, who happen to represent a major % of complainers/whiners in the professional workplace (I spend so much time listening to complainers…I spend so much time listening to others problems when I could be doing…). I suggest the HR consortiums and organizations look inside their profession & analyze behavior there before casting a stigma on working people with complaints. This article attempts to cast all working people who complain as “chronic complainers or whiners”, and this is not fair (was that a complaint?). IF EI IS A HIRING OR PERFORMANCE EVALUATION CRITERIA, SOME GENIUS SHOULD MAKE IT A PART OF PRE-SCHOOL CURRICULUM AND A PRE-REQUISITE FOR FIRST GRADE. SEND THE REST OF US TO TRAINING!!!SERIOUSLY.
      One individual who replied to the article inferred blaming the economy is overused. Maybe, but it is a valid concern. People are afraid of loosing their job and yes they complain about it. Fear is fear and complaining is a bit of a release of that fear. This article would have you believe this person is lacking in EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
      Upper management is a huge source of what builds the character and culture of any organization, and many have little to NO Emotional Intelligence. This fact doesn’t even get a “MENTION” because it is easier to focus on the worker/non-management employee. The non-management employee gets the “lacks EI” tag and associated stigma. Managing emotional intelligence is important for everyone in every aspect of life. Some are good at it some are not. Some are good at it because of professional training which is not universally available or offerred to everyone.
      If HR uses emotional intelligence as a “hiring” criteria or if EI is used in performance evaluation, it should be disclosed to the prospective employee and detailed for the employee being evaluated.
      Having said all of this, there are so many contributing factors in managing one’s emotions (including the personal characteristic of an individual, surrounding influences, defensive behavior…) – EI is an abstract measue of one’s character and abilities. It is a fine line HR crosses when applying an undocumented/unsubstantiated measure to one individual over another.

  2. This makes so much since. When I have been in management, I would much rather reward a hard working solid employee. If the employee finds the time to whine, they are generally not tending to thier job as well as they should. They are whining to put the focus away from themselves. After all who likes to work with a whiner. Think about it, everyone has worked with a whiner before. You ask them “Hey how are you doing today?” and they respond “great!, Except my girlfriend left me, my bills are late and I wrecked my scooter on the way to work today”. So again this makes all of the since in the world why they may not get promoted over a more upbeat employee.

      • Birds of a feather – takes one to know one, Mr. Bentzel. Sometimes a “whiner” is not so much complaining as bringing problems to light that management should handle, but turn a blind eye to.

        • One thing to remember Kathleen is that one cannot bring problems to the forefront, or tatle on another team member until after those key relationships have been developed. If you tattle on another team member before you’ve developed key relationships within the company, you will in fact be known as a whiner and will be ignored, etc. The people that you are thinking of that seem to tattle all the time and get ahead, it’s because they’ve already developed those key relationships. They are no longer seen as tattling, but more seen as someone management can rely on for employee knowledge. Something else to keep in mind is that if you begin to make friends with these so called, “butt kissers”….you could win from that. Reason is because the “butt Kisser” has management’s ear and if that “butt Kisser” mentions your name in a positive way such as, “you know, I think Kathleen would be great for that supervisor position…she’s really nice and understands the processes, I think with a little bit of training, she would be great”…and that’s how it goes! If this happens in between you continuing to work hard to build those relationships, you could be moving up in no time. Just something to consider…

          • @ kate Anderson…I guess you are one of ‘them’, which is why you are offended at what has been said about ass kissers and whiners….just saying…

            • No, I’m not offended at all…I’m just trying to help readers understand the article above. I’m really not a butt kisser (remember I was the dorky kid in school) and I don’t believe that a butt kisser is what it takes (but I’m using that work b/c everyone else is). But what I do believe is that everyone needs to learn how to initiate conversations with the leadership team…talk about politics (I personally enjoy politics and will use this as a topic of discussion with the CEO whenever something insane happens with the govt.)or when you know that someone is interested in one thing or another, take the time to ask that person about it…it’s not butt kissing…it’s communicating, it’s showing others that you have thoughts and that you have a personality.

              • Problem is … what you consider whining someone else considers pointing out flagrant breaking of rules etc. The same management who says they don’t want to hear any whining (Obviously if you whine you don’t have enough work to do), are the same managers who come to the whiners and ask them pointed questions to get them to squeal on others. My response is, I don’t know, I have plenty of work to do so I didn’t see anything!

              • Hey Anderson… I recognize that tryng to talk about politics etc. which is considered for you as communicating…that is useless conversation and waste of time to upper management…that excatly is what we call “kiss ass,” talking nonsense all the time!…

      • Bahahaha….I’ve had managers like #2….couldn’t beat their way outta a paper bag….once they were finally gone (for another job with even more $$, since they wrote up a grant while working with our company on company time)…upper management says, well what did they DO when they were here!? Hello…who hired you!??

      • @ Bob about Robert……Yes….as you can see he said ‘when’ he was in management……his spelling must have gotten him fired…lol

  3. It helps if you are friends with the manager. A doofus friend with no HR experience sat in for our manager during his vacation. Doofus had no people skills, so when an employee asked legitimate questions that the doofus could not answer (doofus answered the question three different ways in less than one minute). When the employee tried to get clarification, the doofus became defensive (instead of stating that he did not know). The employee received negative treatment from the manager upon his return. It’s really bad when the person in charge does not have emotional intelligence.

  4. Really??? They do??? In that case employers need to get some Emotional Intelligence themselves and set the example. Then, they need to stop rewarding the office pets and office rats who, rather than work, are constantly following their bosses around in a bent over position, of course, ready to kiss their bosses butts. They also need to listen to the office scapegoats when they try to discuss how they are victims of unfair treatment by the boss, pets and rats, and, rather than whining and complaining about the scapegoat’s whining and defensiveness, actually reprimand the pets and rats. They also need to stop crying themselves – I had a boss who set unrealistic goals on everyone and then burst into tears in front of us when she didn’t get her way. I found a new job, she’s still at the company. Sorry, this article doesn’t convince me. This is not reality. I would be laughing, except the reality of how employers and the problems they cause by their own lack of EI is pathetic!

  5. I think the article is more “perfect world” than realistic. Where I work I’ve seen more of the ‘squeaky wheel’ employees get greased with raises, job reclassifications, or promotions while the hard workers get left in the dust.

    Most of the time I’ve found that those who are willing to play the ‘game’ get to move up, while those who refuse to and want to do what’s right become stagnant.

    I wish it were different, but this is more realistic in my view than the article.

    • This message is for Kim: I understand how you feel, and here is my advice. Start being more outgoing, have conversations with your manager…you are probably an introvert, right? if so, challenge yourself to step outside of your box. I’m an introvert and I struggle with this every day! I have had to challenge myself to develop those key relationships. But I have to say that it becomes much easier the more you do it. And it won’t happen over night, but within 2 years, you should see a change. You have to think about it from the company’s perspective…would you want to promote someone like you who doesn’t have those relationships, who puts her head down and just does work? You aren’t showing any kind of personality…you need to have personality to be able to be a manager. I understand that a lot of people on this post is seeing it as “kissing butt”, but honestly that’s what it takes some times. And I don’t really see it as that…genuinely carry a conversation with managers, your team members and the leadership team and trust me, things will change. You have to think logically about this….how will you get noticed if you don’t speak up!?? Speak, communicate, get noticed for the positive things you do for the company.

      • Actually no, Kate, I am not an introvert. Of the team I am on I am the most extroverted and always have things to talk about (good and bad) at the meetings for my team we ‘may’ have every 4 – 6 months.

        I have had multiple one on one conversations with my boss about what I enjoy at work and my concerns with work. My boss comes to work maybe 3 1/2 days of the 5 days of the week she is supposed to be here. She will also very good at telling you what you want to hear while you talk to her, then there is no follow through. Me and my other co-workers have been shocked at some of the things that have come out of her mouth.

        Of the 3 on my team, I am the one that speaks up (as you put it) the most, so your assumption of me is very wrong.

        I really do enjoy my work because I don’t have to deal with the political games because of where my cube is, but our management leaves LOADS to be desired.

      • To Kate Anderson-While you sit on here and try to be the manager that you are, I can’t help but believe that you are one of those ‘butt-kissers’ that everyone is talking about. I have several relationships with managers/employees and am very open minded to others ideas and thoughts. I am also very out going. I am very open about the things within my team that i believe are not politically correct. After reading this article though, my first thought was pretty much the same as others, only the butt kissers and tattle tales get the raises and promotions. It goes to show that there is one in every group. Now that i have read everyones comments, i don’t feel so bad about me being me and NOT being the ‘butt kisser’. I never have been and i never will be. Some day companies will wisen up and realize if they want the job done right and on time, they will look to those with the knowledge along with the emotional intelligence. It doesn’t take EI to get the job done!

        • All I can say is that I must have it good b/c in my working environment, we don’t have a lot of butt kissers and tattle tales. Most of the people in my organization are hard workers and while we might complain here and there about stuff….so what, every place has it. Overall, we have dedicated EEs here. Maybe it’s b/c I work in a professional environment and we all have degrees??? Cuz I can’t speak for Home Depot and Rite Aid…most managers in those places are hardly passable…they aren’t even qualified to hold the positions they have…and that’s 100% of the problem.

          • Kate:
            Please, get over your great self. You sound like the know-it-all who feels like they have to tell everyone how to do their job, even the managers.Your way thats the only right way, in your eyes. Everybody hates the know-it-alls, the ones that are always talking about how great they are-and how you could be like them too, if you only followed their instructions.Time to stick the finger towards the throat and GAG!

      • Kate, Are you serious? They want managers to have personality? What kind exactly? No matter how the act, they do not want you to outshine them in any way possible. Not with hard work, intelligence, humor, and least of all a wonderful disposition. All you are then in their eyes is competition, and we know what comes next. UNEMPLOYMENT!

  6. Oh, this article sounds good, but I’m afraid it is not at all reality. Everywhere I have ever worked, the nastiest, meanest, gossipers and bullies always get rewarded and praised and favored. Wish your article was true, but it’s simply not! Maybe it was a dream you had and just think it is reality.

    • Beth, just to reiterate, those meanest, nastiest bullies have relationships with management…you do not! Get on the train and things will change for you…you can’t sit around and expect to be noticed if you do not develop key relationships with the leadership team!…or those in managment. I’m not saying that it’s fair that the bullies are favored, I agree with you that it’s wrong! BUT! It’s the way of the world…relationships rule and once you learn this, things will change for you! You have to think about when you were back in grade school…the nicest kids were those who got picked on…know why? Cuz they didn’t talk! They didn’t socialize with the other kids which automatically places them on the outside and I know from experience b/c I was that nice, bashful child in grade school…was picked on every day of my life!

      • @ Kate….It is obvious that ‘you’ need therapy…..picked on you at grade school…hummh. Now you doing the picking. Think back to hen you ‘did’ get picked on…and remember how ‘you’ fellt then. There are ways to getting ahead and not being mean, but being assertive.

      • Kate, some of what you are saying is simply not true. I was the outgoing, out spoken, had many friends person in school and was still bullied. So it has nothing to do with the individual’s personality, but rather or not you choose to be involved with the fakeness in the work place. As stated by several others on the post, there are those who may have developed relationships with management and are threathened by other employees who have more worldly experience and education. These individuals use their relationships with management to devalue others by being snitches or degrading others. Yes, they do receive recognition for being the “Golden Child”, but remove them from their comfortable work environment and challenge them to work somewhere else and they would faulter.

      • Kate, why don’t you stop telling everyone to be like you and kiss ass, tattle, rat out and whatever it is you do. You are really starting to sound like a snoot.
        Here’s my assumption: you are one of those managers who feed on the weak minded, break them down then turn them into you.
        I agree…you need a major reality slap.

  7. Just from reading your comments, I can tell that all of you are whiners. Obviously you didn’t learn anything from the article above. I however, found a lot of it to be true. I wouldn’t be where I am today without developing relationships with the leadership team, getting my work done, showing the company that I am responsible, dependable and willing to go above and beyond every week of the year in order to do an outstanding job. If you continue to do those 3 things, especially go above and beyond the call of duty on a regular basis, I guarantee that things will start to change for you. I care about the company that I work for, I am mindful of the flow of cash and I want us to succeed…if my company could have 15 of me, they’d sign up today.

    I believe it was Leo who said something about putting your head down and dealing with the aggravation…that is not the right perspective…putting your head down will not get you noticed. You have to not see your job as just work, you have to enjoy your job and put the effort in. I love my job and it shows in my work ethic…it got me noticed. My advice is to reread the above material….it’s actually all true and b/c you all are whining about it, you are exactly the people the article is referencing…you might not like my answer, but since I’ve walked the walk, you can’t hardly ignore my perspective.

    • And I believe while Kate brings up some valid points, she overlooks the fact that at many companies, even people (Like myself for example), who may have served in many important roles over the many years (again, like myself) and faithfully adhered to the notions of such articles as the one above, still see many other workers who haven’t put in the same amount of years of service, or cared as much as some of us do, thrive in the workplace and they get away with things that would have gotten you or I fired long ago when things were a bit different. And as a result it becomes difficult to look at our jobs as anything more than just a job that pays the bills. Which it is to a large extent. I always have to laugh at the people who keep telling us we should love our work. I and many others surely would love it a lot more if corporations would take a long, hard look at how they do things. Oh, and sometimes getting noticed comes with more negatives than positives. But, I suppose that would be whining to bring up those points. Points including being responsible for more work and pulling more weight than we’re being paid for. And when people ask for a review, they’re told “More?! You’re lucky to be working “In this Economy”.

      • Some people will always call stating your displeasure ‘whining’. Reality check #2 – people have the right not to like being mistreated and they have the right to speak up about it. In my book, ‘whining’ is complaining about small, insignificant problems because you have no perspective. As in an $80,000 a year salaried retard in a clean, unwrinkled shirt complaining that he has to drive an hour to settle a customer dispute… as opposed to driving three hours and working & sweating in twenty customer’s lawns all day like everyone else around him.

        Most companies have ‘Open Door’ policies to prevent mistreatment and harrassment which, as anyone who’s ever tried to use them knows, are inevitably as phony as this article. So people complain to their friends, to their family, to the stars – because it’s all they CAN do and it helps them make it through another week. And anyone who begrudges people that right is probably a manager somewhere… Kate.

        Kate said ‘Fine! Just kiss butt!’. However, just as many butt-kissers have no actual talent at their jobs or desire to become good at what they do, not everyone has a talent or desire to brown-nose day in and day out.

        J. Nelson Leith said ‘workplaces that don’t listen to people who are smart enough to see problems and bold enough to complain about them will fail over the long term’. Having worked for Fortune 500 Companies that aren’t going anywhere like Target, Home Depot, Trugreen, and Walmart, I speak upon extensive experience in saying this statement couldn’t be more wrong.

    • I totally agree with you. As a matter of fact, it has opened my eyes to my personal situation. Up until reading your post, I was a whiner. I didn’t have relationships with anyone. I was busy feeling left out and my response was to just keep my nose to the grindstone and not talk to anyone thinking that I am doing my job (a very good job) that “they” couldn’t let me go. I noticed other people who I felt were busy “sucking up” and not doing a good job being promoted or offered other positions. As a matter of fact, my relationship with management at one project was so poor that they wanted to demote me. I threw a temper and asked for a job transfer that did not work out at all. Now I am unemployed. Again, the lack of a positive relationship with co-workers and mgmt that, I believe, was foremost the reason why I am unemployed. Thank you for the heads up. It has completely changed my attitude.

      • Know nothing personality? Hmm…from the sound of things on this blog, I am one of the more successful contributors to this blog….meaning that I am educated, worked hard to get where I am, happy with my career and those I work with, rewarded for my efforts, complain about anything job related only to those outside of work (ie: husband, friends, etc.), have earned the respect of my peers, I’m only 32 and I’m a marketing manager…I must know something about EI while also having a high IQ.

        • Kate, up until this point I had faith in you. Although I did not totally agree with all you said in your responses, I felt that you were a voice of reason and objectivity here. Now with this response, that obviously looks like a pissing battle, you have undone all it is that you are trying to prove to us.

          It is not enough to TELL people to be or do things a particular way, it is most effective if you SHOW them. Your actions should be a reflection of the doctrine you’re trying to preach, so where is the EI demonstrated in responding to Concerned Employee’s comment by throwing your achievements in his face? How did/do you expect him or the other readers to react to your advice now?

          I get it that you are totally proud of your achievements – point taken. And while I respect the fact that you have worked really hard to get to the place where you are, you have to admit – and make allowances for – the fact that NOT EVERYONE IS THAT LUCKY!!! Plain and simple. Not all work places are the same and not all managers are the same.

          In very few environments hard work, perseverance and willingness to go the extra mile are seen, recognized and the worker is rewarded for it. Because it is a level playing field, (i.e. everyone has the same opportunities) the other workers do not end up feeling resentful but instead they feel that the better man had won.

          Regretfully there is no, and I repeat NO environment when one person’s acceleration does not leave someone else feeling a bit disappointed – to say the least. However, in professional settings, professionalism dictaes that that disappointed person “man up”, congratulate the promoted and endevour to work harder next time.

          (Let me just throw a brain-teaser in here a bit, if everyone in afore-mentioned workplace have the same shot at the promotion AND everyone puts in the same amount of hard work, dilligence, over-time, etc. when promotion time comes around who’s going to have the greater edge, the person who is “chummy” with the boss or the person who is professionally “aquainted” with him/her?)

          As a Junior Manager in a large organization (in a different country I must add,) I can attest to some aspects of your point Kate, hard work and dedication are essential if you are eying a managerial position. And chatting up the boss/upper managers also gives them and opportunity to see you in another light, that is assuming that said bosses/managers are approachable and/or care to/willing to see you in a different light. However you must make allowance for the variables in between that contribute to the types of experiences the different workers in the different workplaces will have which will inturn shape the way they view their work situations and how they deal with it.

          I say this because I can also attest to most of the points raised by the rest of the other readers too. I have been through every thing – from being back-stabbed to snubbed because I had more qualifications than my Supervisor to sexually harassed – trust me I’ve seen it all, and in only five years too. Through it all I stuck to one principle, to remain true to myself. I was not going to allow the people I worked with or the work environment to change me into a back-stabbing, bitter, envious person determined to make it on the backs of whoever I can.

          Instead I opted to do my job in a professional, timely manner, take the necessary breaks I needed to recouperate when necessary, despite the people I worked with/for I found the joy in my job and on the days I couldn’t find the great burst of energy to go through the day, I went on auto-pilot, getting the job done as quickly as possible so that I could take the rest I needed. I also made it my point of duty to get along with as many of my co-workers as possible – including my supervisors, the ones I did not get along with I had a professional relationship with. When I had grouses I used several methods to deal with it, I spoke with the person in private first if possible, then I tried in the presence of an objective third party and if that still didn’t work I would bring it up in the next staff meeting, (as you can guess, I am not much liked but I am well respected. Oh and I have the habit of cursing to myself to vent the pent up steam BEFORE confronting the problem/person – this one is very tricky as it may yield the adverse reaction). When the opportunity came in the form of promotional exams, I made a vow to ace it whether I’d be promoted or not, and I did copping the fourth highest score nationwide. And as luck would have it i was the only pass inmy region at any of the three management levels – my supervisors failed their exams! So despite the Branch Manager’s greatest desire, I was promoted to Junior Supervisor eight months later. Needless to say, the hatin’ continues.

          Also, having observed the current “culture” of the work environment, I realize that unless something changes, or I am promoted to a level where I can make a marked difference (which is my primary goal,) I will not stay in this environment for more than twelve years (overall). So I have started school studing a new career, I have also started looking at ares of business that I can go into as I believe that’s the only way I’ll get the kind of boss I would like to have. I have set other personal goals that I’m working to achieve in the next seven alloted years at this job.

    • Kate – In general I agree with you. Getting along with others, being on the team, and blending in with the culture is key. Hard work and results are fine and dandy, but they’re not enough.

      However, if you find yourself in an organization where your values clash with the culture, it’s time to leave. It’s important to continue working hard and delivering results, because that’s what you’re paid for, but when you find that you don’t respect the intelligence or integrity of leadership just get out.

      It took me three years to escape a toxic environment, and it took all the strength I could muster to stay dedicated to my job and do my best for everyone else who depended on me. I probably performed at a higher level during my job search! I made damn sure that I took my responsibilities seriously, and did an excellent job. Even though I didn’t drink the cool-aid, I was too valuable to toss aside. It wasn’t a great time in my career, but I wasn’t alone in my outlook, and it made me stronger.

      In the end, to be successful in an organization you need to get along with others, period. Who you know is much more important than what you know, and if you master both you’re golden.

      • Part of one’s job is to get along with everyone.

        I am trying to remember the name of the book I read where it stated “50% of your job is to get along with everyone”.

      • Sorry Steve….hard work is ENUF…that’s it and that’s ALL! You can’t get involved with bullies and snitches because they DO THE SAME THING TO YOU…NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED and if you KEEP THAT IN MIND you’ll do just fine! All that stuff didn’t work in my department because they DISMANTLED 2 years after I retired! PEOPLE ARE VICIOUS and ALWAYS looking to make trouble with their so called friends! Higher management saw what was going on and FINALLY did something about it by scattering their bodies out of that building!

        • Steve….people ALWAYS just want to play games at their jobs! It never ceases to amaze me….that’s why the work they did was SHODDY! The department was dismantled so UPPER MANAGEMENT could keep an eye on them where they would be watched! Most of them don’t even bother with their fellow snitches anymore because it was all GAME to begin with!

    • I think developing an emotionally intelligence and increasing ones interpersonal skills by being empathetic to coworkers and others would make our work and this world a better place. I do think there will always be all kinds of people in a given work environment. We all come from different backgrounds, we have learned responses from our trainings and experiences, and have different ways of relating and communicating to others. I know how difficult it can be but nobodies perfect, I just wish we could all be a little more compassionate instead of so quick to hold a crucifixion. We would all do well with some kindness and understanding both in the work place and this post. Just think of the Babylonians whom were (according to the Bible) on there way to “building a great city with a tower that reached the sky,” they spoke one language and “came together,” but God said, “Look, If they can accomplish this when they have just begun to take advantage of their common language and political unity, just think what they can do later.” God said, No, scattered and confused them, by purpose and by reason. He obviously knew it would best, albeit difficult, and I feel we should honor and respect that and at least attempt to develop some character in response.

  8. This article is put together nicely but the reality is, as I have found is, that those who work the hardest are the ones who are ignored. While those who snitch tear down and lazy are the ones who are promoted. We work in a real world.

  9. Their is a another level to some people that talk about their problems at work, which you call ,whinng. I was and still am a hard working person. and you have a person , who you know don’t like you for theri own personal reasons. you think you can just work, even thorugh they were ragging on you anytime the could. Now being someone with good moral and kindness type of human, that always helped people that came afther me, I always had a smile and pleasent way , But this person did everything she could to make life hard. And the work place should be , maybe I’m a dreamer, because I think everyone should be kind and caring to one another so more work can get done. Because happier people make more money for the company. So if you have a person who is trying to bring LIGHT TO A PROBLEM, and people call it whinning……..they put the wrong word to it……People who hurt others to look better ,or like to bully or because the have higher positioned should get canned to let another who can make the job place better. Sometimes people whin becaus no manger’s are taking the time to see the underline problem they have to live with, a good parent would not let this happen in their home, because home would be a mess everyday, and one persons never gets to their full potencial………..same at the work place. agree

    • totally agree with Rose. The rest of you can just piss off. I wonder if the type of work/industry has anything to do with the personality DNA of which would work better.

  10. Good manners, good grammar, a good vocabulary, the ability to communicate effectively, and the very simple act of being punctual, will always make one a valuable and respected employee… whether as a manager or associate. You whine, gossip or throw your fellow workers under the bus… you are part of the problem and your are outta here! Good managers don’t have time for drama.

  11. Sometimes it seems like the only work advice out there is of the Big Brother variety. “Stop rocking the boat or you’ll ruin your career and it will be all your fault!”

    Let’s add this perspective: workplaces that don’t listen to people who are smart enough to see problems and bold enough to complain about them will fail over the long term. Moreover, this sort of “staple on a smiley face” work culture will thin-slice the efficiency and effectiveness of the entire organization to shreds over time, and the people left in charge will be so unmeritocratically selected (i.e., chosen for charm over competence) that they won’t even understand why things went wrong.

    “Technical competency and intelligence are important assets for every worker, but when it’s down to you and another candidate for a promotion or new job, dynamic interpersonal skills will set you apart.” The reality is that it’s never down to a perfect, all-things-equal split like this. This is a false-choice argument, therefore dishonest and unprofessional, and is essentially justifying unprofessional and unethical hiring choices.

    What causes people to hire charming candidates over less charming candidates are irrational social instincts that have been demonstrated time and again to lead to materially bad outcomes when the least amount of technical skill above neolithic-level technology is required. It’s not the most technically qualified candidate’s responsibility to manage the discriminatory and unprofessional perceptions of the employer to keep them from hiring a buffoonish glad-hander. The hiring pros should understand how their own social biases are leading them to over-value candidates who are offering potentially false interpersonal cues rather than objective merits.

    The bottom line is that hiring managers need to stop thinking like group therapists and show some concern for hiring based on merit rather than monkey grooming behavior. The real problem in the HR field is that the so-called pros have a bafflingly unscientific approach to their work that fails (or refuses, for cultural reasons) to take into account years of research in cognitive social biases and other critical issues in decision-making and personnel selection. For example, ask a hiring manager about brain studies on extraverts and introverts, and what those brain studies indicate about how each makes decisions, and watch their eyes glaze over. Shouldn’t a “professional” in charge of selecting people who are going to be making decisions in the workplace know these things?

    Or is “I learned everything I need to know about workplace dynamics from Barney & Friends” the current standard in the field?

  12. With all this snitch talk, you’d think you all work in jail. With how some of you spell, I’d think that too!
    The accuracy of the article is based on the EI of the management. This article would not be accurate for state or federal workers.

  13. Hiring managers may demand emotional maturity from the supervisors and managers but they seem to look for just the opposite when filling the ranks of workers. In the last ten years I have seen a ridiculous rise in the number of high-strung overly emotional and self important workers. Far too many of them stay in the same position for far too long; resist change at every turn; stir up trouble when ever possible and swear up and down that they know more than their manager. I as a manager have been told far too often that I am a babysitter. I need to make these people happy and if I don’t another manager can take my place. Somewhere along the line we have replaced excellence with cheeks in seats. Too many corporations have validated the idea that the manager is responsible to for worker happiness. Now I will be the first to admit that there are some people who have no business being in management. But at the same time work is work if you don’t like the job find one that you do like and then do the very best you can. A manager should not have to pat you on the head every time you show up for work and do a barely passable job. A manager should not have to put with feeble excuses for why the work was not done especially when more that adequate training is provided multiple times.
    The people who write articles like this have no clue to what it is really like in the trenches. I have worked with “emotionally mature” managers. They create a lot of trouble for the more pragmatic rest of us. They are the managers who molly coddle workers who should to be grounded in the reality having a job. They encourage the whiners by giving them too much attention and allow the lazy to slide by because they have problems. And then when these people want to post up they lie and before you know it another manager with a bit higher expectation is caught between the switches.

  14. While I agree with the basis of this article, there are extremely dedicated professionals that are very passionate about their work. Sometimes this passion results in perceived lower EI. But it is exactly this passion that sets these professionals apart from the mediocre – lower IQ, higher EI. These are the employees that give more of their time and are dedicated to the success of the department’s programs. As a manager, I accept and value these unique individuals and encourage them to effect the changes needed to improve the department. The bit of anger or tears well outweigh the benefits they bring to the department.

    This article is like all things, consider in moderation. Remember, they used to tell we shouldn’t eat eats or drink wine. Now they say a little is good for us.

    John Michael

    • Wow John,
      Wish I could work for you! The above rants are all too familiar. I have never been good at playing the game and just can’t summon the will nor the desire to, no matter how logical it would be. Ultimately, it’s my own reflection in the mirror that I have to face at the end of the day. Sucking it up to the office manager and hitting my fellow in the knee caps would lead to a very hollow victory. So I geuss that places me in the legions of unrecognized employees that decide to place a higher value on their own moral barometer rather than a bigger paycheck.

  15. I’d rather have high IQ with low EI and know that I am contributing to the success of my employer.

    I’d rather live by my morals of integrity and honesty, than snitch or give up my co-workers.

    In today’s workplace the focus is on team work. How can there be a team if the members run and tell the bosses distorted facts to gain favor! This is the cause of dysfunction in my office. Everyone tries to be calm and cool, but they stab each other in the back the first chance they get. Not conducive to productivity, success or a happy work place.

    • Even in this downward economy I can’t help but wonder as I watch the company I work for flounder and falter, how much of it is the owner/managers own fault. Poor managerial skills, encouraging gossip, pandering to the boss fostering backbiting, and putting personal gratification as priority one surely isnt going to create a business culture that can survive the recession. They rode on the crest of the wave of system of free enterprise and financial success and now that it is crashing, it seems they dont know how to swim.

  16. What you all say is true about some of the shortcomings of this article…BUT…
    here’s where you are all wrong. It depends on the leader. Stalin wanted backstabbers under him and in fact created the conditions for infighting. But he never trusted them and had most of those same people killed off. Churchill didn’t want backstabbers, and that bred efficiency and success. Stalin is now reviled in Russia- a dead dirt bag rotting in Hell. Churchill is seen as the greatest leader of the 20th Century.

    Yes, I’ve seen plenty of backstabbers get ahead initially. But almost every last one of them in my life has ultimately failed or been fired because they eventually met a Churchill who could see right through them. Cases in point: Nine years ago I joined a department that I came to realize was filled with 10 of the most unethical people I’ve worked with. They were tight and protected by our unethical manager. When the recession started my manager threatened me through another employee to get me to do something I refused to do. I told that person to tell my manager that he would be fired before me. That was a Monday. On Friday my manager was fired and was almost in tears. The circle was just completed a few weeks ago when that last and worst one was canned. I’m still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah.

    In another job I asked a manager for a raise because of extra work I had done. He agreed, but kept putting me off. Then he hired a manager in between me and him. The new manager told me he and the top guy agreed to my raise if I just do a few MORE specific things over the next few months. I did them and more and the new manager actually became my biggest advocate. But after asking the top guy for about 6 weeks he got no action. He then told me he was sorry and so angry the top guy lied to him that he went to HR. He was fired 6 months later. Result: One year after asking for a raise, I got a measly 4% increase, same as everyone else. BUT I detailed all of this in a note, showed it to my lousy manager and had it put in my personnel file.

    Flash forward 6 months. A new manager in between me and the top guy was hired. She came to love me and based on my work – I never mentioned the history to her once- she recommended the top guy give me a raise. He said no, but she insisted. Then she looked at my personnel file to see my work history and guess what she found? Yep that letter. Another factoid, but unbeknown to me: she was friends with the CEO. Bingo! And guess what she told the CEO? Bingo! And guess what I got? Bingo!

    Flash forward 3 months. I walk in 20 minutes late to a department meeting which the CEO was heading. Uh oh! She says hi, everyone laughs, and the top guy says, “Joe, see me after the meeting.” Uh oh! You see I was warned about coming in late many times.

    I walk into the top guy’s office, ready to get in big trouble. He says,
    “Joe, Joe, Joe. Just want to let you know I’m leaving today to pursue other opportunities.” He was canned and the CEO was announcing it in the meeting!

    I’m still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah…

    • Lovely story, really. Let me tell you one of mine.

      I worked at the Home Depot. Hired into the Paint Department, where I excelled (because at that time I still believed that one’s contributions mattered). I was approached by the Assistant Store Manager in charge of the Doors & Windows department who asked if I’d join her team as a Sales Specialist. It required intelligence and an attention to detail, which I’d proven I had, and meant more money for me. Specifically, two dollars more an hour after my initial training period of three months. I accepted the offer.

      Three days into the new department and I realize that the training is beyond woefully inadequate. In an effort to do my job correctly, I study extensively off-hours. Despite having no experience in the field when I started in the department, I quickly became the top selling salesman in the store and five time Top 5 salesman in the entire Northeast region. Meanwhile, the ASM in charge of the department can’t explain how to tell if a door is right-handed or left-handed, but that’s neither here nor there…. back to my story. Five months in, I’m selling between 500 and 750 dollars worth of merchandise every hour on a sales goal of $115/hour. I’m not making commission on these sales. And management still hasn’t given me that extra $2.00 an hour. So I ask around. I get brushed off my management for a few weeks. I get mad and corner the ASM, refusing to be brushed off. And she backtracks on everything that was said before I came to the department, telling me that I need to jump through even more hoops to get my raise which is now three months overdue. This is my thanks for exceeding their expectations five times over every day.

      I went to Human Resources, and the first person I contacted did not help me in the least. Two weeks later, I contacted the Regional Director of HR. THAT finally got me my pathetic little raise. I hadn’t ‘made trouble’. I hadn’t ‘whined’. I simply stood up for myself. And guess what happened over the course of the next six months? I learned about all kinds of company rules that I didn’t even know were rules until I was in the Store Manager’s office being written up for them. I tried to save my job. I submitted ideas for improving Home Depot on the company website and because of that I got invited to lunch with the CEO and VP of the company because they wanted to hear more of my ideas. I kid you not. And yet, this did not stay my Store Manager’s course. I requested a transfer out of the store in a last-ditch effort to save my job. The request was formally approved but silently shut down between buddies. The Department Head of Doors & Windows at the store I wanted to go to told me that he’d been told to drop the issue of my transfer by HIS Store Manager. And I was eventually fired. So yeah, there aren’t Churchills everywhere, buddy. Sometimes you’re in a Nazi camp and all you can do is salute or die.

      • Nice to see that regular people have a say on what really happens, to the slaves out there (about 100,000,000 in the USA)–But it is not going to be better any time soon.–Far different from Northern EU.
        There are a lot of whiners here, and they usually get a better deal than the ones who actually work every day, and that is because the management are also whiners all the way to the top–unless they worked in the military for a while, I actually never have had a problem with those.

      • I’m sorry that happened, Leo, and I’ve had similar things happen to me in the past. But my comments are not stories; they’re real life. I’d like to offer something that someone very wise offered me–and I listened to my benefit. You can’t just be smarter than your superior in how you do your job; you also have to have the ability to outsmart your superior, and you have to retain the ability to save face when you have limited options.

        If you’re a less skilled fighter in a boxing match, you can still win if you understand your weaknesses and your opponent’s. But if you know the cards are so stacked against you that you absolutely can’t win, then you must save face and live to fight another day. Continued confrontation in this case is self-destructive. One might, in this situation, bide his time and make life less miserable by not confronting so much and just looking for another job quietly.

        The other thing you’ll notice I did is crucial: put it in writing and get your manager’s offer for a raise in writing. Now managers may not put it in writing, but if they don’t and you accept and do more work without getting paid immediately then they know you’re a sucker. That’s what I did and I was a sucker. But I regrouped and wrote a short memo detailing exactly when and what I was offered. I also got a third person involved- the mid manager I spoke about- and he was a witness.

        The main thing is putting it in writing scares the heck out of a manager, whether it’s in email or whatever. Almost nobody no matter how high will ever mess with you again. And believe me everybody was against me- including a previous good friend who headed HR. She told me that I could always quit! That’s when I stopped fighting and just accepted my situation, but I put it writing and put it in my personnel file. That is a game changer and managers don’t want you to know about it. But it’s your right. I then started quietly looking for a job. But then I got three things I wanted instead of one: I got a raise, my manager got fired, and I got a new job with a massive increase. All of these were by the grace of God, but he gave me the smarts to navigate.

        Continuing to fight and confront OVERTLY when you know the deck is stacked against you is a losing proposition. And it is degrading because you’re letting someone control you.

        This doesn’t always work, nothing does. But it’s worked for me most of the time, and I’ve retained control over my own life.

      • All I have to say is, I totally agree with Lou Garnieri, I worked for Marriott for 12 years, and was fired for being a minute late. Yes, there were other incidences of being late, but the same is true for everyone of my coworkers. We worked a 12-18 hour day almost everyday. NO Breaks, and Lunch never came around till around 9 hours into our shift. I worked in the bakery department, and it was run by kids, the company was too pleased to have youngen’s running everything. I have never worked in such an unprofessional place, I was shoved by co workers, a can of soda was thrown at my head, a co worker told me all Muslims should be killed, and I am Muslim. I talked to the MGR about everything and all he would do is shrug his shoulders. He was French and the company was paying supporting him being in the US, he just stayed at this job to get his Citizenship. This is just a bit of all the disaster working for a big company, LOU Garnieri you and I have the same outlook , I would love to talk to you sometime, Kathy

  17. Nearly twenty years ago I was working for the corporate marketing communications group for one of the worlds largest industrial firms. We were charged with switching from a classic hierarchical structure to one of an empowered self-directed work team.

    One of the first things we did was take the Life Orientations program by Dr. Stuart Atkins. The program deals with the four behaviors each of have…Supporting Giving, Controlling Taking, Conserving Holding, Adapting Dealing. The program gives you a number for each of the behaviors while under normal conditions and under stressful conditions.

    Our purpose was to find out more about each other in order that we would understand each other better in an effort to work as an empowered team. The Life Orientations Program worked very well, but was not an overall panacea. The folks who had high Controlling Taking numbers were the least capable of dealing with others on their terms and the Adapative Dealing were the best in dealing with all as they understood how to assimilate other behaviors and use them to theirs and the teams advantage.

    Long story short…not endorsing Atkins program but saying that you are who you are and short of spending the rest of your life in therapy it is very, very hard to change your behavior even though you know better.

  18. It has been the same ol’ song for eons in the workplace…..”It’s not WHAT you know. It’s WHO you know.” It’s my story and I’m sticking to it!” :)

  19. I have worked here MANY years now and I had a problem with a fellow co-worker so I went to our HR Manager as instructed and because we have this wonderful “open door policy” ~ for 6 years I had endured the wrath of a male co-worker who did not like the fact that he had to take orders from me every now and again. As the years go by he gets more and more angry and hostile towards me and it started to be seen by clients and was interferring with me doing the good job I was known for. So I go see this wonderful HR person…I told him I felt it was Hostile Work Envirionment…he listened and told me it wasnt Hostile Work Environment because no “sexual innuendo” was ever made(???…seriously?!), he gathered all of the information I had kept over the years, yes he called in Mr. Wonderful and gave him “the talk” ~ a couple of months downt he road Mr. Wonderful is let go from the company for something else he did. A couple more months down the road it is time for our performance appraisals. I was rated below average for not getting along with fellow employees! I was like….huh??? Who are they talking about since I get along with every one…I was mystified…!? So my boss, of just a few months by the way, finally calls me in so we can go over my performance appraisal and sure enough he mentions the fact that I didnt get along with Mr. Wonderful but he is gone now and its not something we dont need to worry about anymore but I need to be more proactive in the way I get along with other employees etc…..Yep~so much for the wonderul “open door policy” ~ I stood up for myself and hung myself at the same time!!
    ” Sometimes you’re in a Nazi camp and all you can do is salute or die.”
    Yes, Imma Stuk!

    • Sorry to hear your story, but see me sitting here unsurprised. After 20 years of working at companies of various sizes and industries, I’ve come to the conclusion that the only person who will ever appreciate my work and reward it is ME. I’m trying so hard to save enough money to start my own business – and it’s as much for the stress relief as the thought of big money. No more lying to customers for big businesses, no more interviewing with and being bossed around by twits who aren’t fit to shine my shoes, no more ‘Step on or be stepped upon’ politics? Can you imagine that?

    • Hi Imma. But why did it work out that way? Because there’s the reality of work life and there’s the facade that people put up — the sham. The sham is that HR will ever help you in that situation — IF — you do what you did. You have to have concrete examples of where a person’s work falls short. You can’t put forth intangibles like hostility and anger. You have to put in writing, maybe through a review, how a person’s tangible work falls short. In fact, most managers may not even go to HR. That’s what I noticed. They just give lousy reviews and make a person’s life miserable until they quit.

      Moreover, here’s an axiom: Whenever you complain to a manager about someone else, the person you complain about gets more sympathy-and respect- than you do. And you can actually make them look good. All managers care about is that the work gets done. So if you complain that someone else is not doing their share of the work, what the manager sees is that the person you complain about has management potential. Why? Because the person is not doing anything, yet the work is getting done– AND they’re getting you to do it! That’s exactly what a manager’s job is- get others to do the work.

      If you managed that person you’re talking about you should have just made his life miserable thru lousy reviews and piling up the work. If he was a colleague you should still make his life miserable- fight fire so to speak- until he realizes he can’t win with you and succumbs.

  20. It’s a shame that this is the state this whole country is in. The ones running the companys don’t want to have to handle anything. They dont want to deal with any problem, and they think it will go away, but it doesnt, it just gets worse or goes on and on and on….. Then you got the ones that walk around all day trying to look busy… they waste more time trying to look busy, they could actually be doing something, if they were smart enough to know what needs done and do it. Then there are the ones that do everything , but dont get paid for it, while the boss makes the big bucks but he doesnt even give a crap abount the company,,,, Then there are the ones that could do more, but they dont get paid for doing any more than they are already doing. its really sad, and if this is going on everywhere,,,, which i didnt think things could be this miserable anywhere else, When you know a company could be doing great if only someone knew how to run it and they cared about it, and the people that put most of their days and lives into it. it is really sad……

  21. These are all interesting threads, each and every one of them. It seems that ALL companies, regardless of the industry they are in, have many of the same faults–making people do more and more with less and less and totally ignoring the fact that moral will suffer, thus creating the “whiners” mentioned in the above article. In my field, there have been supervisors that I would go through a brick wall for because they actually cared about those they supervised. My current supervisor, however, is a different story; there must be an open door in that brick wall before I would even consider going through it. My company has a slogan: It is my____ ___ and I love it. My response: it is my ____ ___ and you can shove it!

    • Ahaha… that slogan belongs to Rite-Aid. :] I’ve never worked for them before, but I’m sure they fit the mold – after all, why break the mold? Consumers make the worst companies in the world a success by being patrons, so other companies follow suit. No matter how low a company’s wages, no matter how many foreign factories they own and jobs they outsource, no matter how bad their service, people just keep on buying from them. And when being bad, REALLY bad, is a proven formula for success, no one else is going to bother to be any better.

  22. Sounds like advice from a textbook. I believe that generally, the emotional intelligence of the employee rises to the level of the employer. It all flows from the top, down.

  23. After reading several replys to the authors article about “Whiners Don’t Win at Work,” I have to agree with the author on this one, because the bottom line for all of us in today’s economy is that you are either the Boss or your not! Everybody has a better way of doing things other than the corporate “SOP”, standard operating proceedure, however very few are willing to take a risk and open up there own company and become the Boss and the Bill payer! What ever happened to “The Buck Stops Here!” go ahead and take a chance quit your dead end job and work for yourself. Otherwise keep your head down and your mouth shut, very few people really care what you think, It’s What You Do THAT COUNTS..

  24. One skill I learned early on as a manager, that kills alot of the tattling behaviors is this… When one of my employees (let’s call him ANDY) comes in to complain about another, I ask for ALL of the details about the complaint, I take dubious notes of their complaints, I ask what they did as a team member to try to resolve the problem they have identified, and, finally, ask them what they want me to do. Here’s the good part – while they are still in my office, I call in the so-called “culprit” and ask them questions about the work being done so that I can make an initial assessment of their diligence, etc., then I tell them that ANDY has some observations about your role on the team and give the floor to ANDY to communicate his concerns. The rule is that ANDY may not attribute the remarks to hearsay, but must instead indicate his observance of the problem, and the proposed solution. Trust that it is an awkward moment for ANDY the first time this is done. I mediate the discussion, make my expectations clear to both of them, thereby helping them develop the skills and the appropriate choice of words to use when approaching an issue with another team member. I am clear in that when one person is ineffective, I consider the entire team ineffective. I do any necessary training, coaching, evaluating, etc. but it is up to them to behave like adults and get along. After 25 years of managing, I have very little turnover, high productivity, stronger work relationships… I promote those that demonstrate the best leadership as well as teamwork skills (in addition to – of course – the technical skills). I have removed employees who can’t function as part of a team, because they are like a cancer to an organization. So I say, stop whining and become part of a solution – NOT part of the problem.

    • Susan – yours is the best response I have read! My husband has this happen to him at work all the time, someone has a gripe about someone else and they all bring them to him because he is such a good listener. Then, during a staff meeting when all are present, he brings it to the table and begins the discussion. The person who started the griping suddenly has to face the person they were griping about, but the problems get solved that way.

  25. All right children. Stop the quibbling. Figure out what works in your organization and adapt. What? No chameleon DNA present? Then find a job in an organization that will recognize and reward your particular talent or skill sets. If all else fails start a new career writing nonsense for some website or internet magazine and watch the havoc you can wreck on the highly engaged and productive work force between the hours of 9 to 5. Now get back to WORK!!

    With all due respect,
    Your Incompetent Boss

      • Leo, not really fair to me as a troll – but I can take it. It’s apparent that you are passionate about this. Stop saving for your own business and simply create it your future. It is literally at your fingertips. Make it happen – start your blog – “No Love for Leo” or something. There is a huge audience and consumer base that will love to hear what you have say. Be angry, funny, take sides, stimulate dialogue and thinking. Become the expert and master of whatever people are looking for. You’re the man!

      • Leo, the depth of your anger betrays a fear of your own ability to build your own biz or find work in a more habitable culture. Channel all of that energy in a positive direction and you’ll succeed. Remaining in a morass of negativity won’t get you anywhere!

        This Feb. the company I’d worked for for 14 yrs. abruptly shut its doors, giving 100+ people about 2 weeks notice. I went through a period of depression but fought through it and maintained a good relationship with the owner while I regrouped and grew my own private practice. Now I’m sailing with the wind instead of bucking it, doing quite well.

        You can, too. Good luck!

  26. Listen to all the whiners come out of the woodwork like roaches. YOU are the people they are referring to. What a collective group of douchebags. You morons are probably resonding on company time, on a company computer so take a long hard look, thats what she said, in the mirror and then sit down, shut the hell up and do your job. Stop worrying about your boss. If you were worth two $hits you would be the boss. Now get back to work.

  27. Take it from an oldtimer, (76 and still working), there are times you just have to fold your tent and move on to higher ground or get the short end of the stick. The worst example for me was working in a department where the “Boss” had a favorite and spent all day talking to her favorite while the rest of us did the work. I found being the favorite a waste of my time; I came to do a job, not chatter. When I fell out of favor, I was loaded with work as a reward. I threw in the towel and the head honcho upstairs (who should have had his hand on things) couldn’t understand where they went wrong. They threw me a going away party, if you can believe that, I did not attend. I learned via the grapevine, they finally gave her the boot. Too late for me, but those that followed had an easier path. Don’t compromise your work ethic for anyone.

  28. I wanted to learn more about the author of this article. This is what I found:
    ‘Kaitlin Madden is a writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com and its job seeker blog, The Work Buzz. Kaitlin spends her days researching and writing about all things career-related and trying not to inspire any of her colleagues’ “annoying co-worker” articles. She lives and works in Chicago, but hails from Connecticut and graduated from Northeastern University in Boston with a degree in journalism.’

    Which conclusively confirms my suspicion that she has no idea what a working-class American goes through or what working for Walmart, Home Depot, or in fact almost ANY company is like. She ‘researches’ all things career-related? Are you kidding me? Might as well ask George Bush’s opinion on how to get a raise at work.

    Kaitlin Madden – I don’t begrudge anyone the good life. I’m glad that your family put you through a nice college and that you have a great EASY job. But try writing about things you actually understand. What people go through in the workplace is a serious matter to them. The disparity between the rich and the poor in the U.S. is no laughing matter – millions of hard workers are stepped on every day and you disrespect their contributions and hardships with nonsense articles like this.

    • Spoken like a true victim, Leo. I realize now after reading your comments that you are jealous, bitter and always willing to blame someone else for your own problems. You sound like Obama. It’s the manager, HR, the rich, other people have it easier than me, George Bush, Congress, The Tea Party, the girl who wrote this article. For goodness sake, you live in the greatest country in the world and this is what you make of it? Try getting off your ass and stop complaining.

      And you act like a know it all, but you seem to know very little really- with very little experience. In fact, you know nothing about the girl that wrote the article. How do you know her parents paid for her school, the grades she got, how she got her job, how hard she’s worked, or how many people she competed against for the job?

      And like Obama’s group and other losers you complain about the “working class,” which is Marxist terminology. Anyone who works for money is the working class. Anyway, get yourself up and stop complaining. It’s your life and your responsibility, not everyone else.

        • I’ts obvious Joe and kate Anderson are of the favored crowd. I’m not saying that they don’t work, but I am saying that they have no clue what some of us put up with day in and day out, year after year.
          Politics have no place here. Bad management is simply that…bad management. Next you’ll bring in religion. sheesh!
          It’s also obvious Leo knows EXACTLY what he is talking about because he LIVED it. Joe and kate, you two have not. You may have gotten lucky, but you’ve not had to deal with the constant crap Leo and most of us posting on here have put up with. You two wear rose-colored glasses. Don’t mock Leo just because he knows what he is talking about and you don’t agree with it.

      • Sure, bud. Everyone with a complaint is a ‘pretend’ victim. Everyone’s making it up. My 20 years of work experience around the country and everyone else’s is make believe.

        Throwing personal attacks and rude insults at me and my opinions doesn’t disprove my statements or improve anyone elses, least of all your own. It’s the crutch of those with bad arguments. And most people see through it very quickly. Fyi, insult-cliche-insult-general BS does not a good point make. Nor does it particularly bother me.

        I actually know more about the writer than anyone here could possibly know about me. I know what she does for a living and I know what that job entails. I know how she gets material for these articles. I know she’s young and graduated from a prestigious college so, unless she found a money tree, she couldn’t have possibly financed her own education. And I can deduce more my using my brain. You might try it yourself sometime.

        I’m an independent insurance agent licensed in Tennessee, New York, and Viriginia. What that says about me is that I had the drive, daring, and intelligence to pursue and acquire a license and a better job for myself during a seasonal layoff. But what it does NOT mean is that I’ve forgotten the past twenty years or lost the ability to sympathize with people in my old position. I’ve not grown comfortable or complacent though – I’m scared beyond belief that I’ll have to go back to the miserable daily grind one day and that motivates me to keep moving forward and start my own business.

        NOW you know something about me, fool. Hopefully enough to shut you up.

      • I didn’t come here to make friends or be popular. I came here to speak up and state an ugly truth. If you don’t like me, I’m good with that. If you don’t like the truth, tough.

      • Please, keep the Tea Terrorists and their Vision to enrich the ultra rich and corporate OUT of a simple discussion about office whiners.

        Obama is no more a Marxist than Cantor is warm, loving human being. Your hatred and racism drips from your post, and I feel sorry for you being such a redneck.

      • Why are you being an a$$hole over this? Do you have something personal against Leo? Have you ever heard of “he who feels it knows it?” You are so biased it’s not funny.

        Do you know ANYTHING about Leo or any of the other persons who are commenting on this topic? Do you know any of the experiences they have had? And even IF they are bitter, do you know WHY they are bitter. Are you then saying that people don’t have a right to respond or give their comments/veiws on the article?

        Listen Kate, if you can’t stand up to public scruntity then get out of the public’s eye – or even better – demonstrate some of the emotional intelligence you are promoting in how you respond to your critics. As for the rest of a$$hole managers and supervisors responding to the comments – shut the hell up and allow the people to vent!! They can’t talk in the work place so let them have their say here, if you don’t like it then bugger off!!

        If you were smart or prudent managers you would be carefully noting the comments trying to identify if you are guilty of any of the said offences and start planning ways to fix the problems in your work environments before a revolution starts there.

        Plus, IF and I’ll repeat IF, you were smart you would figure out that so many different people from so many different organizations from so many different places, could not be having the same kind of problems if said problems were a figment of one person’s over-active imagination. So do us all a favor and keep your rude, uncalled for and mostly unwanted comments to yourselves.

        P.S. Obviously this is not meant for the decent, sensible and effective supervisors in here,myself included.

  29. Obviously there are different opinions on this subject. Having been, one time or another, in the many different work situations there is no book answer- too many variables. The best comment I have read came from bjco.”Don’t compromise your work ethic for anyone.” The jello smile and gritting your teeth may get you through the work day. Learn to master “leave work at work”. With the job market like it is we will probably endure more than we want but never stop looking for the opportunity to having the last word- I quit!

  30. This is great advice and the underlying statement goes back to the golden rule: treat others how you want to be treated. Respecting each other, including management is definitely key. However, if there is a manager compromising the workplace and an employee addresses it I do not think they should be labeled as a “whiner”. As bjco stated previously, “Don’t compromise your work ethic for anyone.” I have seen extremely catty behavior going on between directors where I work and it sickens me because it totally makes sense why employees think it is an acceptable way to behave. Yes, employees need to be held accountable and true whiners need to be weeded out, but sometimes those issues can be traced back to managers not being good at developing their team. Those managers need to be weeded out along with the true whiners. Susan, you sound exactly like a previous manager I had who believed in shared expectations, transparency, and building the team environment. She was the best boss I have ever had and everyone respected her.

  31. I have learned the harder you work the more work they give you. My boss offers no health coverage, raises, sick leave, profit sharing or 401k. Taking a vacation is next to impossible-when asked he tells you it’s too soon(whatever that means). I’ve been working here for 12 years now & still he doesn’t appreciate any of his employees no matter how loyal they are. Like a fool I am always on time & have never missed a day of work. He knows he can count on me to be there & takes advantage of this as well as takes me for granted. He even offers our services to others like he owns us. As the years go by I have asked for a raise until finally he said don’t bother asking & don’t ask again. If you work overtime he tries to cheat you out of being paid. When pay day comes along he will ask if you can wait until Monday. If you say ok then he will claim on Monday he has already paid you. I have been trying to get out of here but now my options are even less now. I’m not getting any younger & my skills are becoming obsolete. If you do not know someone on the inside forget about applying anywhere & online is pointless too. I stand as much chance of landing another job as I do winning the lottery! The economy is so bad that he knows we can’t leave & takes advantage of this by cutting us back. I have wasted 12 years of my life working this dead end job & accomplished nothing other than having a roof over my head & food. All the while we have helped in making the boss wealthy & achieve his goals. He’s not the least bit grateful. His business is thriving (because of us) but his employees are unhappy& dirt poor. He sees us as mere peasants & has held us back all these years. Now he is up for a huge promotion which means the next boss can come in & throw us all out. He is so giddy with happiness he doesn’t notice how his staff has been affected nor would he care. He expects us to revel with him but we can barely smile (he doesn’t notice this either). I try to consider myself lucky to even have a job at all as I watch the rent & gas prices go up every year & my income shrinks.

    • Well Greta, having worked one bad job for 12 years straight doesn’t give you much insight into the bigger picture but I can – most places are no better. And the bigger the company, the worse it gets. The people at the very top care about profit, period. Their plan is to get in, get theirs, and get out. Problems are irrelevant. That unyielding demand for more money produces one-dimensional headhunters for bosses. You have layer after layer of regional/division management whose only job is to watch over and harass other managers. Meanwhile, management bonuses are production-based, so store-level managers are short-staffing the place, slashing overtime, and cutting corners like idiots in an effort to pad their own paychecks.

      What’s funny is that everyone focuses on ground-pounding employees being personable, likeable, friendly, outgoing, butt-kissing, however you want to spin it. Why isn’t it a manager’s job to establish good relationships, foster a healthy and positive work environment, and build a successful team? John Quincy Adams said “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” This so-called EI would be an amazing tool for management themselves to have and use. So why is it okay for managers and bosses to not be leaders but petty putzes instead? Because they already have a good job? So all this comes down to is what someone HAS to do or doesn’t have to do? No wonder the American workforce is in the shape it’s in now.

      ‘Work or get fired/Take what I give you or get fired’ is not managing, leading, or team-building. Never will be. And you can’t have a good team with a scrub for a boss, not for very long. Flip this whole script & talk about Human Resources and management getting a clue about how to deal with people and you’ll have yourself a REAL article, Kaitlin.

    • Whinning is an example of not taking responsiblity for your actions, those of which you are not accepting in your life or work environment. Greta’s writing is the purest form of “whinning” and her actions are the greatest example of what the artical is informing us. To sum it up, you sit in the same envirionment for years and years, doing the same thing over and over, maybe expecting change…….this people is called “insanity”. You know its bad for you, but instead of change (which ppl dont like to do) PEOPLE WHINNE over the things that affect them, but without ever removing themselves from the poor abusive environment. Take a look at yourself, maybe you like the abuse. DID you COME from A disfuncting family?? Thats why you stay, its normal to you.

    • Like I’ve said in previous posts…get yourself a new job. If you don’t respect yourself, then how will your employer? Always know what you are worth. If you are being taken advantage of, then do something about it. You can choose to leave any time you want. If you choose to stay for personal convenience reasons, then be grateful and leave it at that.

      • Wow! I can relate to so much of this. It almost felt like many of you worked for my agency (not as bad as some of this). However, I refuse to compromise (thanks to whom ever stated this) my work ethics, integrity, honesty or anything else to get ahead. I happen to know that “you reap what you sow.” Keep doing what you know to be right –at least you get to go home with a clear conscience. God sees, He knows and He’s in controll — the trouble makers appear to be getting by but they won’t get away. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!

      • Wow! You live in fairy tale land! Get a new job? IN this economy? Have anyone at work respect you? Most employers realize it is their market right now and let you know that there are any number of monkeys waiting to fill your shoes. Sure, go ahead, make a stand, you’ll be standing in the unemployment line nedxt.

  32. Tammi, What school did you go to??? Did a rich daddy buy you the business you own because you can’t spell worth a sh– and your sentences make NO sense. That, America is what is running our country today. BTW I am 60 years old and went to school when brains did more work than computers – lets go back to that – not that progress isn’t wonderful – but lets teach thinking with our brain THEN learn computers, cell phones, texting, etc (did you catch that ETC – not ect!!!)

    • You hit the nail on the head: Most individuals today cannot spell, use incorrect grammar, can’t add or subtract, let alone multiply or divide, and these are the people running companies and in charge of employees! They are rude, ruthless and self centered. I am 61 and proud of my public school education. Got a better one by the 5th grade than most kids have when they graduate H.S.Young pups in charge of management because they have a college degree that says they can do it means nada. They are arrogant, unknowledgeable and pushy-all about their own needs and not compassionate or caring. If we fired all the unhappy people, 100% of our country would be unemployed.

  33. P.S. to Tammy – When my husband was alive we owned a business too. Had a great staff because we treated them like human beings – another art that is lost today. And yes, that was 20 years ago but good manners never go out of style. (That is if you ever had them in the first place).

  34. It’s the people who can’t do their job that get promoted. The mgrs above them do not want anyone to catch on that they are total buffoons who lucked into their job. We live in a Democracy, but work of Dictatorships. Butt kissing and saying yes will get you far ahead. Mgrs. do not want anyone questioning their decisions or anyone to catch on that they are clueless.

      • and to the buffoons comment…I’ve been passed by several employers because I knew more about the job than the supervisor giving the interview did. I think They were scared I’d take their job. I’m sorry I”ve already forgot more than You know but thats just how it is.

  35. I work in the public sector as a public servant. The amount of back stabbing is at an all time high. Manager’s encourage the behavior. The rewards in the public sector are not great ($500.00-1,500) on average per year. I’d rather sell Avon.

  36. I am neither the office pet nor a whiner. I just feel blessed to be employed and trust that if I do the best job that I can, then everything will eventually work out just the way it should. I have had great managers and bad. I have been able to get along with all of them. If they were particularly bad, I usually had my job much longer than they had theirs.

    • If your subconscious takes care of you I think you have a better chance…
      Some people work hard and get rewarded.
      Others slave away: “If you work your fingers to the bone what do you get ?”
      “Boney – fingers !”.
      And keep on slaving away…….
      Management on some level has to LIKE you. If you are not willing to invest
      in this sort of thing prepare to work hard as an average employee…

  37. These types of articles are devoid of reality and full of “wish-list”, “change the world”, “Liberal hope and change” thinking.
    37 years in a Fortune 100 international company taught me a lot about people and their games.
    Butt-kissing is by far the number 1 method people use to influence managers. The most capable, sharpest, hard-working people are absorbed in their jobs, doing the best they can to actually SOLVE problems and improve the company .. but their ideas, efforts, methods, processes are often stolen by those who spend lots of time schmoozing with the bosses. I have seen it thousands of times, and it will never change.
    Many bosses, especialy mid-level supervisors, have huge egos that need to be stroked constantly ..the ones who bow down and kiss their nether regions WILL be rewarded in time.
    The hard-worker who discovers big inefficiencies and reports it will be considered a whiner or “jealous” of others.
    So many of the butt-kisser’s “great ideas” involve getting rid of entire departments, divisions, contractors, suppliers ..which look good short-term, on paper. So B.K gets huge accolades, raises, best office, staff, etc. .. then a year later, when the company’s earnings are down the drain due to poor quality, bad business reports, investor anger, bad employee / worker morale .. the same BK still schmoozing with power-people says “we need to layoff 20% of our workers and increase efficiencies per worker to bring profits, earnings, and quality UP.
    Finally when the company is in complete disarray, losing all credibility with contractors, suppliers, workers, and customers .. it crashes.
    This has actually happened hundreds of times with many of the biggest name companies, the most well-known, highly marketed, advertised, and most famous.

    • Hey Leo…shut your filthy piehole and get a life. Look at all the posts and replies just from little ol you. Are you employed? If so you are probably posting your drivel on the company dime. You, and those like you, are a perfect illustration of what is wrong with the current gereration. I include my own lazy, shiftless son in that group. You think you are OWED a job…that it is the responsibility of a company to employ you and when your fat ass is firmly ensconced within said company it is then their duty to listen to every bull$hit, petty idea you have, listen to every pathetic problem you perceive and even when you do nothing other than the job for which you were hired, little Leo wants to be patted on his head and told he is a good little boy and we are so proud of him, blah…blah. Why don’t you whiny little punks grow up and understand the world doesn’t revolve around you. You should be thanking God you even have a damn job when there are millions that don’t. I hate to break the news to you douchebags but it isn’t a “RIGHT” that you have a job. Leo is the typical jaded little homo that will NEVER be happy and wants the rest of us to be just as miserable as he is. I wouldn’t hire you to clean out my cat’s litter box you maggot. So what if some boss’s can be arrogant assholes that don’t know how to manage people. What is your point? If you don’t like it, stop going to work. If you don’t like it, become the boss and change it. Until then shut the hell up and do your job Leo. Now go away little guy and don’t come back.

      • HR guy sounds like the typical manager we’re speaking of. He really does not care about right or wrong, fair or not. He hates his life, job, wife, and all the *&^%# *&$%^&*’s under him. He wants them all to die because they are younger, smarter, have better hair, whatever, It doesn’t take much to fill him with jealousy and animosity. And everyone who wotks for him will pay hell for being better at anything than him. This will go on till his bp gets so high his head explodes all over the walls of his 8 x 10 office ( the one with the door shut). Leo, you are exactly right

      • HR – You sound like a real piece of work! I think you wish you were actually having this conversation with your lazy, shiftless son. What a crappy thing to say. Seems poor HR guy is disappointed in junior! So, are you a failure as a father AND as an employee?

  38. This article is a joke, right? I once got laid off because the girl they really wanted to lay off CRIED. Individuals who snuggle up to managers and CEO’s, snitch on fellow employees and complain their way to raises, seem to get favor. Never had an intelligent boss. If I had, they’s be doing some of the work, not us slobs The day when a boss can roll up their sleeves and do the work of the workers, will be the day the company falls apart-most have their nose stuck in their own stuff and could care less what the worker bees do.

  39. This reminds me of an unmotivational poster on despair.com

    “Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people.”

  40. Much of the discussion here illustrates the points of the article. People seldom listen to each other, they don’t see the world from the perspective of the other person (manager or subordinate), and they all whine. Hell, I do it too! It’s funny (and sad) to see managers or business owner’s chime in here and say their employees are lazy and so is everyone here that disagrees. Really? That tells me this is not management material. But, qualifications do not define whether someone does or does not get the job. It is about personal relationships, money and power. Always has been and always will bi. You do not need to be friends with a boss or owner; nor should you. However, if you are blessed to work for one that has a clear vision for the department/company and you can understand it and follow it, consider yourself lucky. Most companies just drift on, because they are led by people that don’t know what they are doing. You can whine about it. Just don’t expect it to change anything. If it’s truly a mess and you work for a boss that thinks you’re lazy and/or stupid, muster up the energy to find another job. It isn’t easy, but life is to short to work for IDIOTS or ASSHOLES!

    • Wow. OK – so I believe we have established that there are people who “whine” and “people who “communicate”. EI is just as important as IQ in the workplace … it’s not whether mastering one or the other puts you at an advantage or disadvantage in your professional career … it’s how you balance BOTH skills in the workplace. I have been a hard-working grunt, a manager, a president and now back to mid-level management where I am happiest. I did not have to “kiss-butt” to succeed in any of those positions and I loathe those who cheat and short cut to get ahead on the backs of others also. I just follow a few simple rules and it helps me sleep at night …

      1) EI: I try to wait 24 hrs. before opening my mouth to bitch about ANYTHING. I sleep on it (or at least step away if the luxury of time is on my hands). Many times I realize in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter or that I was blowing things out of proportion …

      2) EI: I try to have a little empathy (which is VERY different than sitting back and taking it). If someone is acting like an ass I think “why” they are doing it. If I don’t know I either ask “what’s wrong?” or make something up (in my head for giggles) like “John’s back on the crack pipe today – yippee!” …

      3) IQ: If I have a complaint I better have a reasonable, well-thought-out solution before opening my mouth. Providing a solution is participating/communicating. If I bitch and don’t have a solution then I am in fact whining – plain and simple …

      4) EI: I do not degrade or put down colleagues to a superior. Period. Ever. Even if they are the biggest horses ass in the world. INSTEAD I try to present a solution that highlights the problem without saying “so-and-so is an ass and screwing up”. Now I can’t say I won’t complain to a friend/spouse or report serious issues as required (life, death, serious financial or political risks, etc.) but I do not promote ruining other people’s careers because they are simply lazy, stupid or incompetent – given enough time and rope they will do that for themselves just fine …

      5) IQ: I realize that managers and colleagues are people. You can‘t pick them, you can’t change them, you can’t fix them and you can’t control them. So I sit back, observe and learn from them (good and bad) to help me define who I do and don’t want to be professionally. I have learned just as much from the assholes as I have the good ones over the years …

      6) IQ: If management doesn’t fill in the holes and my suggestions fall to the wayside then I GET OUT. I changed careers, learned new skills. And that has always netted me bigger and better opportunities without fail and with my integrity intact!

      Side note … for those that focus on proofreading blog entries – please go become editors elsewhere. If you can’t get the point of a post without all the punctuation being perfect or that is your only feedback then you provide nothing but trivial insult and absolutely NO VALUE to the discussion. (Screw empathy – it’s just annoying and we really don’t care why you do it).

      • Balanced EI vs IQ — I agree with you 100%. I don’t know where these other posters work, but I never worked at a place where being a high-maintenance whiner was an advantage or a common trait of upper management.

        I have worked for difficult managers and in difficult situations where I didn’t agree with policies or process. No matter WHAT anyone else around me chose to do to express their irritation with these things, it has always been my choice to: 1) Do what I am told to do 2) Express my objections or concerns as inquiries, not attacks on the decisions or persons making them 3) Embrace the parts I can agree with and make that agreement known to others. And by the way, I have NEVER been told to do anything that was illegal or immoral.

        My choices seem to have worked for me because in 32 years in the workforce I have never been fired from a job or given a formal counseling. In an area of our economy where little skill is required to do the job and many are available to replace each worker, I have risen in the ranks and I earn a good wage and supervise a team. I have no special qualifications or skills other than experience and the professionalism I try to bring to the job.

        My observation as front rank worker, a manager and everything in between has consistently pointed to one result for complainers: they don’t get anywhere. You might see one here and there get something they ask for, as an anomaly, but other than that, forget it. People who are emotionally high maintenance in the workplace may as well be walking around with a sign on their backs reading: Don’t Promote Me. Because no one ever will. If you get a big thrill from bucking the system that hands you a paycheck every week, go right ahead and be a pain in the rear. But all you’ll get from it is the satisfaction that comes from annoying everyone around you. Nothing extra will ever be thrown your way.

        If you want good stuff, bring your A game to work and your maturity too. There is no brown-nosing required and you can be HONEST without being a broken record or a pain in the butt. Wish more people realized that.

  41. You can Throw this article in file 13. Where I used to work, the one that whined the most /got the most. Made it a living hell for all the other employee’s and was always causing trouble. This troublemaker/whiner stirred the pot so bad that I said to hell with this job. The dumba$$ boss & president of this company would take everything this a$$ said as being the gospel. Funny that after I left the boss almost melted my cell phone leaving messages that He wanted Me to come back sooooooo bad. I told Him to let the troublemaker do his job and mine too and all the other good employees that He’d ran off.I’m going to handle it differently the next job I get, I’m going to find the troublemaker/whiner(there’s one at every place of employment) and I’m going to knock the hell outta Him and get it out of His system before He can start up on Me.

  42. Many of the complaints just prove the point of the article. Good and bad happens in life. Those who focus on the good tend to get ahead. Those who focus on what is wrong tend to stagnate.

    Ask yourself, do you want a cashier in a store to greet you with a smile or a list of things wrong in her life? What is better for the employer?

  43. the biggest fundamental in getting ahead in any profession is just do the job you were hired to do, stay out of others jobs, what gets you noticed is a job well done your boss will know you did your job, if another is screwing up let them theyll be caught up with on their own merits. they dont need you to push them off the cliff theyll do it themselves, i did the job i was hired to do for 20 years, the rest came and went. easy as it can get.

  44. So flame on. While I agree with some of the things said about brown-nosing bosses who are poor managers, a lot of people seem to be missing the point. “Brown-nosing” is in fact the EI the article is talking about. It’s just being used in one direction in a calculated way to advance the personal ambitions of the manager. It’s not a good way to manage, but it is an effective way to get promoted. On the other hand, a lot of employees bring grievances that are entirely personal and they don’t seem to be able to perceive that neither their manager nor the company gives a rip. An alternate term for this is whining. Another thing I see a lot is employees who project their own situation onto their superiors. This is a lack of EI. Your manager is looking at the big picture, not the essentially meaningless differentiations that narrowly-focused employees will often go to the walll for (green vs. red, Windows vs. Linux, etc.) which just pisses of the manager who wants to get things done and not have religious discussions with those who lack perspective on the real issues. These are the people who will never get ahead and never understand why. Those who deliver for their bosses and understand their perspective- not necessarily agree with it- are the ones who get ahead. Speaking personally, I manage an extremely effective team of IT professionals, any one of which could walk out the door and make more money. They don’t because we offer them tremendous flexibility and support. A ROWE in all but name. We don’t have set start or end times, don’t care if people are in the office or not as long as they are contactable, and focus only on getting the work done within the agreed time-frame. I came out of the technical side so I understand what they do but my job now is to provide strategic direction, deal with the administrative side, get out of the way of the experts, resolve disputes and facilitate communication. If I would take one piece of advice from this article for both managers and employees, it would be “know thyself”. Having a realistic perspective of yourself will help you find the boundaries and give you an idea of how what you are saying is perceived up and down the chain, and lead you to greater success in your career.

  45. Emotional I Q is a term I use, but have not studied much, so appreciate seeing it discussed in this article. I think it can be simply defined as one’s level of ability to accurately assess themselves. Not sure if that is correct.

    Am surprised that the discussion above seemed to be centered around employees so crassly complaining about their bosses and about other bosses.

    Does anyone who has commented above have a college degree or are you all drop outs from high school?

    If your job is so bad why not get some training in another field and get out of it. There seems to be many training opportunities and grants to pay for them. Many of these have very flexible hours.

    Do any of you who have complained in such crass ways work in jobs that pay more than the minimum wage?

    What are you main goals in life–watch tv and get drunk? And then do it again and do it with more gusto?

  46. OK…so I’ve read most of what you all have to say…commented on a few crazies…now It’s my turn!
    The article made a little sense to me. I did not, however, read into it that I have to become a snitch or kiss ass. It’s an emotional reality check. I agree that most of the stuff said in the article is probably the opinion of someone who works from home and has never had to deal with corporate America.
    I can tell you that I have had some wonderful managers in the past. It’s really been recenty that they all seem to be more out for themselves, look for the people they can get dirt from and rip apart those who they are threatened by.
    I started off as a pretty shy type of person who didn’t say boo. Went to work, did my job and went home. After a while, I grew a backbone, had opinions, ideas and started expressing them. THAT is when it happened. Suddeny, the good bosses left and the current managment came in. You know the ones. The “non-working” managers. One of them even admitted it. They dismiss all your ideas, sit on their offices all day then head out with vendors for lunches and golf trips. Meanwhile, the real workers are left behind to meet all the deadlines THEY came up with so they can look good.
    I used to want to be in management – I really just think because that is natural progression. Now I’m not so sure. If that’s the type of managers they want, it’s not for me!

  47. I find it hard to believe most of these people really understood this article. Everyone is WHINING. Hold yourself accountable. If problems arise in your place of work talk to your manager, any good manger will welcome constructive criticism. Constructive id s the key word. Whining is unacceptable. Stay positive and show enthusiasm. That doesn’t mean kiss ass. If you don’t like your job find another one. On thing a manger hates is whining. One can get their point across without whining. Every negative comment on here must not have been written by anyone with management experience.

  48. I am a manager and have approximately 200 people who report to me and believe me having an employee that can effectively perform their job duties with little or no supervision is the most important thing to a manager. If an employee is a whiner and always asking why do we do it this way, this is not fair is the most irritating thing in the world. Managers do not won’t to talk to these people nor do they like the employees who are always bringing up issues and tattling. This just gives us one more problem. If you are unhappy go somewhere else your manager will be happier and so will you. Most managers are not owners so we do not have the say in how the company is run. The rules are given to us and we are expected to see that the rules are followed. When there is an opening for advancement the upper management always wants input from the manager. If an employee is in hopes for advancement in a company the best way is to support your manager is to make them look as good as you can. To be an effective leader you first must learn to follow. You all talk about managers who are stupid and lazy but obviously they had something going for them because they are in the position of authority over you. The owners like them for whatever reason so get over yourself and join the team or get out! If you are afraid of losing your job then shut up. Everyone talks about the bad economy and how you can’t find a job then be thankful for the one you have and do it to the best of your ability. There are many things I don’t agree with as a manager but I do like my paycheck so I DO NOT WHINE….

  49. Isn’t it true that every business and boss have a culture established before you started work there?

    The key to “whining” successfully at work is to sense what this culture is and where you fit in.

    First, before attempting to whine, lay low and assume the position for about six months until you are able to distill the subtleties of top management, corporate structure (do some online research about your own company and the people that run it.)

    Second, realize that whining head on rarely succeeds.

    Third, best way to whine is to use the IT departments suggestion boards and before submitting comments you may find it helpful to use your conversion utility and change your format from “whine” to “suggest”.

    If whistle blowing is your aim, then you know it isn’t what you know, but what you can prove, legally. Fruit from the poison tree will only shoot you down.

    What a valuable tool that smart phone is! Leave it in your pocket on to record
    harassment or vulgar pressure talk about you or others.

    I take pictures with my phone to prove that I did or did not do something. If it comes to litigation, you know you won’t be working there anyway, right?

    Finally, remember that most whistle blowers do not win. So, you might use this phrase, “When I get to be vice-president, I will change this or that.”

    If it is that bad, then like any business deal, be prepared to walk away and get another job.

  50. With articles like these, I know why Dilbert portrays H.R. managers as evil.

    H.R. managers claim to value job candidates with high emotional intelligence and other positive attributes. But in reality, observable personality counts the most with H.R. managers and recruiters, and the one who often gets the job is the person with the best spin doctor, bullshit artist, and self-promoting skills. I figure that candidates who actually possess high emotional intelligence and other positive attributes wouldn’t brag about it in an interview, and thus often get overlooked by H.R. managers and recruiters in favor of the spin doctors who relentlessly fake having high emotional intelligence and other positive attributes.

    If you want to get hired, or retain your job, in the American businessworld, being like a Bernie Madoff or a Ken Lay or a Richard Fuld is much more effective than being like an Elizabeth Warren. Like they say, “Fake it til you make it!”

  51. As a member of the “rank and file” can we agree that our job is not to move firmly established mountains but to:

    Support the boss in that persons endeavors.

    This support (even emotional support) is not brown nosing.

    If you have ever been a boss of anything, (even your kids) what made you warm and fuzzy all over?

    Instantly, you categorize your employees into one of two groups:

    The ones who will stand by you and give you support when you need it.
    The ones who will tear you down and try to undermine your corporate goals.

    So before whining or even suggesting, try being a pillar of support for your boss and your colleagues. They will always remember that you helped them even if they don’t acknowledge it openly.

  52. One last comment:

    If you use your smartphone for pictures or recording, try to use a corporate time piece so that you can positively confirm the exact date and time of the event.

    Use a device that corporate knows you can’t alter, like…

    The time clock, or your colleagues watch!

    Witnesses are great but is like handling old dynamite. They are likely to turn against you when the stakes are high.

  53. I like how every manager that chimed in has nothing but praise for the article and poison for the majority of commenters. Fake as all hell.

    I don’t know… maybe they were hired into management straight from college or only ever worked one job their entire lives… but I doubt it. I suspect that they’d all just like to forget what it was like to be stepped on since they’re probably stepping on others now, and the truth of what they do galls them so much they feel they need to defend/justify their positions even behind the anonymity of the internet.

    What it comes down to is – when you make a comment that attempts to invalidate half a lifetime of experience – it’s a complete failure. Don’t tell us our lives didn’t happen. When you pretend that you’ve never, ever seen or experienced what the hard workers here have been complaining about, you label yourselves as either callous liars or sheltered fools – nothing else.

  54. Leo, I totally agree with your point of view. There is obviously a difference between someone whining about insignificant issues and someone stepping forward and making tough comments in an attempt to either stand up for themselves and/or their position, or the integrity of the organization. Unfortunately, those who do so are routinely categorized as whiners because it’s an easy out and it deflects from the issues that may actually need focus and attention. “…he/she is just a whiner…” If a qualified, experienced, proven employee is whining, it’s a rarity. If you don’t wake up and pay attention, you’ll regret it when that person (and most likely others from your staff) walk out the door. I equate Corporate America to politics in the sense that there are always going to be people on opposite sides…people who don’t belong there, people who are over-educated, people who are under-educated, people who only obtained the job because of their connections, people who know how to hide, people who know how to kiss ass, people who fake it, people who don’t have to fake it, people who are willing to do whatever it takes to prove themselves…the list goes on. If I ever find an organizational utopia, I’m in! The shitty employers without integrity, common sense or compassion will find themselves facing themselves at some point down the line. Fortunately or unfortunately, you may very likely not be there to witness this occurrence. These extreme personality types will throw their own family under the bus in order to secure their own selfish agenda. I don’t judge a person by the degree, I judge them by character. Considering that I’ve been fortunate to work with people from all walks of life, I’ve seen both sides of this coin. What is most impressive are people who are brilliant in their own right and make a successful life for themselves, regardless of the obstacles placed in front of them. Richard Branson is a prime example of the positive personality type that I’m describing. I get the feeling that you have what it takes to rise above it all. Stay true to yourself, Leo. One day you’ll look back and thank the ugly situation and peoples’ for bringing you something better. Yes. I used bad grammar. On purpose even! God forbid!! :P

    • Hah! Thanks! I sure hope so, my friend! I can’t wait for the payoff at the end that justifies all the struggle leading up to it. Compliments aside, I enjoyed your post. You write eloquently. Even when I make a salient point, I tend to do it bluntly. I grew up in New Jersey :/ Forgive me! haha

  55. I appreciate your kind words and you are very welcome. No apology necessary for your writing-that was the primary reason I felt compelled to comment. You are an excellent communicator and sometimes it takes some bold words to make a point. Personally, I respect people who speak their mind. You had me on “‘Emotional Intelligence’ my nutsac.” :P

  56. Why doesn’t everyone just get off it?! “Experts” keep trying to give advice and solutions in today’s market and it’s all a bunch of crap. Managers left since 2008 are just trying to hang on to their jobs and you can’t possibly think that employees give a crap. Have you read job posts lately, say, on Craigs List? Let’s see…need a 4.0 GPA from a top tier, preferably, Ivy League school AND up to 10 years experience just to get an assistant’s job for $50K…need to be young…female only…need to be living independently and not at home (what, do they check?)…need to chip in and clean toilets…need to help my girlfriend find her designer shoes…must love (walk, etc.) dogs…shy and quiet admin assistant (WTF?)…executive seeking young attractive assistant…sexy ASAP personal assistant…and it goes on and on…this is the reality and its just gotten worse since employees are forced to do crappy work for companies that are trying to pull a fast one as so many people are looking for work! Are we supposed to celebrate these types of attitudes and be part of the “team?” Don’t kid yourselves – employees (including me) could give a crap about your organizations. I work hard at what I do but no longer care much beyond my own personal interest. Like millions of other people, I’ll be shooting out the door at the first opportunity. Take HR Guy…bitter, resentful…even having disdain for his own son, trying to be the company motivator (if, in fact, he’s in HR!). Perhaps he is one of the HR dudes who posts some of the ads mentioned above. In any event, who wants anyone’s insights into today’s job market…if they knew that much, we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in.

  57. Anyone else out there have a workplace bully for a boss? The only thing worse than a workplace bully for a boss is upper level management AND HR for turning a blind eye and a deaf ear. Despite repeated instances cited by numerous employees, her boss and HR protect her and DO NOTHING!

    Management by threats and intimidation destroys morale, leads to more employee absenteeism, increased need and use of employee benefits, and greater employee turnover (which cost companies TWICE as much as treating all employees with respect) For management to expect anything OTHER than emotional response to abuse is RIDICULOUS.

  58. I work with a boss that is utterly incompetent. No other description or explanation needed. I have a coworker who likes to bully, control and is a nasty, miserable, unhappy person. The 2 have worked together for over 10 years and no matter how many others have quit or confronted the issue head on, the boss still protects the bully. I have to write up a list of “coworker expectations” so we both follow them. Now, common sense tells me that if this coworker had been dealt with properly, we wouldn’t be in this predicment. Yes, I am looking for work elsewhere. I said what I needed to say,have provided examples and documentation. I also expressed the difficulty that I have working in what I experience as a hostile environment. It’s tiring and beyond ridiculous to have to deal with this. This is what incompetent management does to the workplace.

  59. I have not read all the comments on here, but I do believe my whining cost me not my job, but promotions, bonuses, and the ability to move up in the government agency I worked for. Yes they pay well, but in exchange you are expected to shut up, do your job and don’t create waves. My problem was that I complained when things needed to be changed to colleagues on my level. Then when those colleagues turned into managers they remembered what I said. Now they are part of the problem, and now they look at me as a problem.

    Government agencies are the pinnacle of “ol’ boy” networks, and the best example I can think of, besides the military, as structures made for the “go along to get along” mentality. They don’t want to hear shit from you (because that means that they are not perfect and have work to do), they want you to just do the work.

    As a result government employees are some of the most uncreative, sterile, boring, unimaginitive people I know, which is also why the government’s policies are always behind that of the real world. While most creative ideas come from the in the trenches workers and the new blood in real companies, in gov’t the ideas come from the top, where the people at the top have already been reared through years of being neutered and beaten down of all their originaility. Only thing worse is the militray who employ a “do it or else” atttude.

  60. I had the worst manager ever. The only thing he did well as a managaer was dress–he “looked” like a manager. Not only was he a yes man to upper level mgmt, he had the spelling and speaking capacity of a 5th grader; he knew it so whenever he had to write correspondence to the uppers, he’d get one of the women subordinates to write it (us guys refused to do it). This is an example of an email from him: “Timeshets r do this thirsday”. No lie. Can you imagine trying to get your manager to write a letter of recommendation to corporate for a bonus for you when he writes like this???? Not only that, he stayed heavily medicated from a previous surgery, which created mood swings and forgetfulness; he’d give you instructions for a project, and then complain (not to you, mind you, but to other managers) that you were incompetent and got all his directions wrong. He never admitted he was wrong on it, even after you showed him the minutes from the meeting. And because of the pain from the surgery, he routinely look at least 2 days off per week. That was okay but that meant he couldn’t keep tabs on his subordinate–my immediate supv–who would come in late 2-3 hours almost every day and then leave 1-2 hours early. How can you expect to get a decent evaluation from two managers who aren’t there half the time? I complained to him directly, and he basically told me in the nicest way possible to stfu. I had no choice but to report abuse against my immed supv for the tardiness and he just got a verbal reprimand–bfd. All of us were screwed, and after years of complaining (about this and many other things) and not being able to move up or laterally I finally left. I shit you not this is what happened in the gov’t agency I worked.

  61. I am a union steward at a large trucking company. I have been there 30 years. In that 30 years, i have seen so many “managers” come and go it’s not even funny. Why you say? Well lets see.. when earnings fell during his “reign”, they wondered why…they found out… he got caught in porno movie instead of selling…the next one got tired of being screwed and quit, number 3 got “promoted”…and then left…#4 got promoted and then couldn’t take the pressure and took a demotion to another facility, and the one we have now is a control freak, who micromanages en minutia…This one who actually cried and curled up in the fetal position when he didn’t get his way. Of course, this one is a smoozer…and the VP’s love him. But he is a total A**hole….he has his “spies” who call him on the weekend to rat out other employees…and another driver who has not only keys to his house, but the alarm codes….tell me they aren’t buddies. All of this leads to animosity amongst the rank and file….and we never had that before this manager. I will be glad when he is gone….

  62. I began as an entry level employee and never whined during my career. I worked hard like my parents, and assisted team members and management to meet their goals. I advanced rapidly up the management ranks, which I didn’t seek.

    After 44 1/2 years in the workplace I’ve learned that most (not all) whiners are too lazy and unmotivated to correct minor problems on their own, or suggest intelligent solutions to larger ones. Employees who need their hands held, aren’t productive team members, much less management material. I’ve heard people at work make jokes about voting whiners “off the island”. Nobody cares for whiners, especially their co-workers.

  63. Wow! I see many out there that need an EI adjustment. These replies are so heart felt that the potential for great EI is high, but what would you expect from folks on the other side of the issue. Most seem resentful of an upper level management and are therefore biased. Consider why the “asker” felt the need to begin this conversation and make your replies more empathetic. Do this and you will increase your EI while your IQ remains a constant. You have nothing to lose. Peace

  64. I agree with most of the what not to do things. But there are many ways and thangs a person can do to help climb that ladder. I was always good at making people laugh and that included the boss, I was good at telling true stories of happenings that started in my teenage years and also blessed with the ability to remember them. One that I’m sure some of you have seen it on Utube, Type in “jmmy ferris spur texas” on utube and watch it, it has been said it’s the funnest on Utube.

    • Oh! do not tell stories while working unless it doesn’t interfere with your work, or the boss wants to hear another. which is what usually happened. Stories are for the break room and for lunch time..

  65. wow u all used to have jobs it sounds to me like u need to worry less about others and start looking @ urselves and a job of your own

  66. Hey, Tammy

    Just remember your workers are an extension of you ! Plain & simple you have very poor management skills…

    Why people can’t spell ???

  67. As a new manager in the medical field, I’ve learned there is a major difference between a legitimate complaint and whining.

    An employee having to pick up the slack for an employee that’s constantly calling out and performing badly is a legitimate complaint.

    Not wanting to answer phones even though you were aware that it’s part of your job description…that’s WHINING. Also when the higher-ups implement a new policy, and you don’t agree, that’s WHINING. Oh my “favorite”, dress code policy. You want to wear jeans? Go work in a warehouse. It was explained in your interview what the required dress was, stop WHINING about not being able to wear jeans everyday.

  68. I must say I really enjoyed reading what many had to say about this topic…

    Leo = 1

    It’s just me = 2

    HR Guy – You got issues & your son is an extension of you ! Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Lazy !

  69. It seems that the article says HR managers. IMHO HR has been relegated to a administrative role and has little influence over the choice of candidates for hiring or promotion.

  70. This is a public spit in the face! This is definitely a managerial attempt to brainwash the working class people. Wonder why we are in the economical position we are in this country? Its because of the immoral, conniving, BS brainwash most big business managers try to pull in order to maximize company profits and to put money in their pockets as well as the owners. Who loses out? The hard working, “I like to call us the modern day slaves”, low and some middle class citizens. These people love butt kissers to mold into the same conniving arses they are! While most of us honest, hardworking, committed workers get our pay cut and bonuses and rewards taken away so that these business wont take the hit in their budgets. Get a clue! This is precisely the reason were in this mess now. The economy will definitely get much, much worse before it ever gets better; especially with these type of business practices. Good luck to the all the people who are helping to keep this country afloat! Were gonna need it!!!

  71. This article was interesting but it definitely cannot hold a candle to some of the responses beneath it.

    Do you have an incompetent boss?
    Is your boss making the workplace an unbearable professional environment for you?
    Is your boss playing favorites and you don’t see him/her giving you a raise/promotion no matter how hard you work?

    If you answered YES, to 1 or more of these questions…Then congratulations, you just joined a majority of workers. These situations are not rare or unique. If you’re truly unhappy, move on to a new job.

    “Not in this job market I’m not.” <== Well then there you go. You acknowledge that currently management and upper level administration have the balls in their court to hire and fire.

    My suggestion is to play their game. You know more than anyone the situation at your workplace. You know the rules of the game and you know that you're at a disadvantage.

    The question you really should be asking is, "What's more important? Having a job or being content/happy with my job."

    • I just can’t play possum Mark C. and I think it should NEVER get to your last question. If it does, I will be long gone if at all possible! That is crap to put up with that misery and not have a better working environment. I refuse to play this game and will fight it all day long. Not a whiner.

      • Patti, I completely understand what you’re saying. Sometimes standing up for yourself (and usually what’s more profitable or better for your program) is definitely something all workers should be able to do.

        However, with that said. Based on some of the previous responses from some community members, their issues are not based on merely a difference of professional opinion from their immediate supervisor, but rather a question of their capabilities as a manager (be it coping with critiques, or general intelligence).

        What I am merely stating is that, “whining” to me, means complaining without any intent on action or intent to change. Are people complaining about office policy? Are people complaining about management?

        Think about it, realistically, even if you complain about these things to the right person, how likely are things going to change? If your answer is “Very low” then I go back to my original statement “Play their game and work from behind the scenes”

  72. I think you need to define your definition of a “whiner”– because if I am pissed because a piss ant at my place of employment is trying to play big shot to administrators and is telling me what is BEST for me to do with my program because the big shots keep letting her get away with doing so in other areas around our place of employment, does NOT make me a whiner when I decide HELL NO I will not play your game and I will tell her to stay out of my business.

  73. The problem with this article is that eventhough some people may have all these traits, it doesn’t account for co-workers who will stop at nothing to get someone else fired. Most of the people in charge love gossip and mess they have to have a person to try stuff out on. The workplace is full of evil unqualified non productive individuals who have mastered stirring up mess and companies love having these people around. What I don’t get is if I were in charge I would tell the mess makers stop picking on others and causing problems or you will be face disclipinary actions and all the bickering would stop.

  74. I have read the article carefully and most of the comments.. and I think that some readers have misinterpreted the meaning of the article in general or the “whining” part. I agree with the main message of the article, which is emotional self-control in the workplace in general. In my opinion, what the author is trying to convey is that “whining” or nagging or constant counter-productive complaining (maybe even amongst co-workers rather than to management) would give off a negative impression of the employee (despite perhaps exellent technical skills, etc.).

    I have witnessed first-hand the results of such “whining” (which in my opinion is different than feedback or stating your opinion). A colleague of oursconstantly naggs and whines about her work (she also easily bursts into tears by the way). This colleague has been the least promoted, has gotten the least raises and with time has been given less and less responsility. Maybe her lack of emotional control gave an impression that she might not be able to handle certain situations, difficult clients (and let’s face it most of them are), etc.

    Other negative displays of emotion metioned include yelling, arguing, crying, … These also reflect on the person, since you can have a discussion, meeting, or session without shouting but in a civil manner. So I do not believe that the author is advising employees to “sit and shut up and not open their mouths” but instead to just have limits for radical emotional display (tears, yelling, losing their temper, complaining all day to fellow co-workers without actually trying to address the issue, etc.) which makes sense.

  75. I just have to laugh, the article is about EI and starts with the comment:

    “If you want to get ahead in your career, never let ‘em see you sweat. Or yell. Or argue. And whatever you do, don’t cry.”

    And what response does it invoke? 3 pages of people “whining” about “managers”…. I think maybe some of you should read the article again. Change YOURSELF, not everyone else.

    Going through life complaining about how unfair everything is, my boss sucks, my co-workers suck, I’m the smartest person I know…. etc…

    I go back to what my Grandfather always told me (it used to tick me off when I was younger).

    1. You were looking for “work” when you took the job, so expect to do just that, WORK.

    2. You agreed to do the job for a specific wage when you signed on, don’t expect raises, special treatment or any additional compensation.

    3. When you are on the clock, your time belongs to your employer, you do what your told, when your told and do the best possible job you can, 100% all the time.

    4. If you do not like what your being asked to do or the environment your working in, feel free to change your situation. Find another job.

    5. Nobody likes a cry baby, it diminishes you and those you work with. Ideas and suggestions are not the same as complaining, learn the difference.

    6. Have respect for yourself and those around you. Treat others as you wish to be treated at all times.

    #6 is very interesting, for those of you that are flaming your “boss” or others you work with, can we all assume that you are wanting people to talk about you the same way? I’m sure they can… finding fault is really easy, it’s not an actual talent.

    It is amazing how quickly some of you have demonstrated the problem with the work force today. When I say that I am including the ENTIRE workforce, including staff, management and CEO.

    I believe if everyone put as much energy into being the best person, employee, boss, friend, husband, wife, parent etc… as they do looking for reasons they are oppressed, things would be better for everyone.

    Ok.. your turn, flame away….


  76. Just because someone has the brains to figure out how to make money does not make them able to deal well with people. The best boss is the one who knows his business, knows how to make decisions-usually with input from his workers, and also has people skills. Nowadays it seems people are hired based on their credentials with no factor for personality. I am fortunate that I work for a company with about 1000 employees and I have promoted to the bosses and groups that have all the skills. During the times I was working in the difficult areas, I just did my job and stayed out of the fray, and it does work. The people who do not want to be in the fray notice and when promotion time comes they don’t choose the problem makers. It pays to get along even if you are the only one doing. At least I always felt good about my conduct.

  77. I have been an employee and a business owner. I have also worked for the government. I was told by co-workers while working for the govt that I should slack off as I would work my way out of a job, and it was always too close to coffee break to worry about. I have never worked harder than when I owned a business. The last 20 years I have owned a real estate business. All sales associates in our firm get equal opportunities. Same floor time, advertising , private office. The trend has been constant. The positive sales associates continue to enjoy high incomes, the negative whiners produce little and last 2 years most.

  78. This article is written totally based on survey of HR managers who other than initial hiring aren’t the primary people evaluating employee’s, (except in their own dept. of course).

  79. To be a Manager is not the same as being a Leader. A business owner / developer has to be both. Most Managers are cut out to be brute and harsh. Leaders are cut out to be understanding, supportive and firm. Both have goals and targets set to be met. Depending on the type of job to be done or deadlines to be met, sometimes to you do not have space or time for lazy, incompetent, uncomitted workers. In other settings, you have to be patient, tolerant, nuturing and creative.

    Different types of jobs require different personality types, from regimental to persuasive. As a manager and employee I could behave differently from being a business owner and leader. I have palyed both sides of the spectrum. Most employees lack commitment to the goals of the job and I could hire or fire in order to achiebe my goal. But in general, it is difficult to retain whining, incompetent employees, whether in the Military or in the Red Cross. A job is a job and a goal is a goal. Perform or leave.

  80. Seems most everyone who posted here has the full truth on this situation already.. so why the hell dont’ those in higher places?

    Oooops, forgot, that’s how they got the higher places right?

    Time to let the idiots, do the idiots work, and also figure out how to get the other idiots working for them, to quit working for those idiots.

    Figure this one out… you’ll be on track to fixing America properly!

  81. I am on eof those nuts at work who didn’t complain for years got ran over and devalued so I began complaining. I felt like so what ? I kept my mouth shut and was extremely pleasant and cooperative for years and the result is to die from a heart attack? Really that’s all there is to life? To be miserable while most not all but most of the workers around me were ahveing a ball dumping work on others and squalling if someone dared to call them on it. Naw, I am poorer and broker but happy and getting my health back a little at a time. I won’t have a house or new car, I can do without those. But to not be bitched at 8 hours a day and demeaned for daring to breathe in the same space as the above bosses and petty tyrants I worked with is priceless. If I can pay my rent and other basics I am ok.

  82. Life is really simple and can be really very simple if everyone gets to accept that:


    Works both ways for employers and employees.

  83. Squeeky wheel gets the grease . Some slackers come out ahead in the world .The person who does his job well will come out on the short end of the stick . The better worker you are its fine if you put out way more work than a co-worker . Some bosses are just useless anyway they see what they want to see and thats it .

  84. I have been in the finance industry for over 30 years and the majority of my employment has been in management. I have always treated my staff respectfully and have always gone above and beyond to show them my gratitude for their hard work. Even when I received a bonus for top performance, I took half of my bonus and bought them each something of their choice to show my appreciation. A manager is only as good as their employees, and visa-versa. A good manager helps employees achieve their dreams, urges them to take control of their lives and allows them to their talents, and makes sure their salaries and idea’s are heard.

    However, I have worked with those employee’s who have legitimate complaints, and those that just whine. Generally the ones who (whine) are normally unhappy with themselves and their own personal lives, work lives and unhappy in general and after numerous attempts to work with them, send them for more training, company counselors, etc., they land up being terminated for poor attitude and/or work standards.

    Positive attitude is key in any situation. If you have a legitimate complaint or problem, you’re best bet is bring the complaint and or problem to your managers attention and present a remedy at the same time. If the manager doesn’t appreciate it or ignores it.. By all means elevate it to the owner.. be heard.. make yourself known.

    • Christine- you said it “good”. I see a lot of nit-picking over the syntax, but not a lot of understanding of the meaning behind the article (mostly personal frustration taken out on Tammy). The article is only describing how, in general, showing constant overly negative behavior over minor issues is more detrimental to you than abiding by the mantra your mother taught you: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Once again, I’m sure some will take those words literally, but like everything else they should be taken with a grain of salt. It doesn’t mean to bottle up anything negative that you want to say, it means IN GENERAL you will have a happier work environment if you don’t complain on a daily basis about petty issues that are part of every job, every day. My work day would be pure hell if I spoke up everytime I had a mumbling complaint about something that I won’t remember next week.

      Taking the idea of staying positive in the long run, even when you may feel negative in the short run, is my opinion of this meaning. Emotions are physically addictive, on the same cellular level that heroin is, and if you get frustrated and stressed on a daily basis, it’s going to be a LOT easier for the same thing to happen tomorrow. Thoughts come and go, behavior can be managed.

      • I’ve seen top performers lose their job simply because of their attitude. Bad mouthing the company, always complaining, yet bringing nothing to the table to change the situation. Seems there are alot of people who come on-board with a company and try to “re-invent the wheel.” Those people would be better off starting their own company and just work for themselves..

  85. First of all the words whine, whiner and whining have pretty much lost all meaning. If you have a complaint or a concern in the workplace, no matter how valid it may be then you get labeled. Second the workplace has become in large part miserable in most companies these days. This is true for a variety of reasons. The economy is in the tank and many US companies are under terrific pressure from low cost foreign competitors. Most important of all is the fact that it can be statistically proven that each Post WWII generation is dumber than the one that preceeded it. Maybe not in the technical sense, as technology has completely redone many jobs, but in the intellectual sense. So you have dumber managers overseeing dumber subordinates. Now for those employees that have kept up both intellectually and technically the workplace has become a real hellhole. There is still a significant part of the workforce that is smart, driven and committed and they are surrounded by nincompoops. One last thing. I sure as heck wouldn’t want to work for poster Tammy.

    • Since a lot of you seem to have it so hard, maybe you should quit your jobs and let someone else have the position. You are dragging down the office with your weakness.

      Unless, you are really saboteurs and want to destroy the office with your rage.

      Maybe Madden should have called whiners like you what you really are-saboteurs.

  86. Tammy…. you just got ass raped over the internet for being the typical simple minded manager…. and I kind of liked it. you remind me of my manager who actually purposely tried to get me fired, you know what happened? long story short.We went to court, and I didnt have to work there anymore and I got a nice vacation cushion for it, maybe your employees whining is actually a legitamite complaint? Worst of all is you base your employees performance upon how well you COULD do their jobs…wtf?

    Im guessing youre an apartment manager. I bet the only thing you do is unlock apartment doors to show potential renters.

  87. This article does have key points for us all to remember in the workplace. I think that keeping calm & objective in all work situations can be a plus.

    HOWEVER, kissing butt is the main way I see others get ahead, by smiling & agreeing, they get all the kudos. It’s the number one way to move up, besides nepotism and cronyism…doesn’t matter how much of an idiot the person maybe. Most mgt. types just want a yes man…

    I see too many totally emotional & unprofessional people get ahead, while all the calm pleasant ones get stuck with the work.

    Like someone said earlier, squeaky wheel gets the oil…

  88. Bosses love, whinners and do nothings, people who are just a body collecting a paycheck. they get promoted too. And the ones who work hard bust there butts, get the work done, get abused and used. I was informed on by a coworker all the time. I could not say one word, Or he went and told my boss, he had his nose in my business all the time, He was No higher up than me. But because he was a MAN, And I a woman my boss said it was fine. I was talked about behind my back all the time. My boss had a foul fithy mouth, backbite, me, stabbed me in the back, lied to me, I was reported all the time, by my coworkers, and spy on to. I was at my job for 10 years. But I was a Woman in an all male dept. My boss had NO respect for me at all. Only the men. My coworkers worked both sides of the fence too. They where dam good at it too.
    I finally filed a grivenence against my boss, he lied to the top people, my coworker lied along with my boss and I got shafted and fired. My boss when he sees me out in the street rides by and laughs at me. I kid you not. My coworker, he asks me one time how I was. Now that is a piece of work. human
    resources person told me that I needed to find another line of work. My coworkers laugh at me. but God is getting them good, My old boss is now very short handed, and my laughing boss, and coworkers, have to pick up the slack.
    God will get them all for this, If not in this life time, in the next.

    • You must have worked in aerospace. Best thing to do is keep up your skills and move on. There is no advantage in staying at a job more than a few years like it was in the 80′s and before. Also, learn to enhance your coping skills. Many times this is the only way to survive the corporate/office minefields. Don’t focus on retribution. These people are miserable and their own worst enemies. Move on!

  89. I’d like to think that this article is true, however, I had someone who supposedly worked under me, but because she whined about everything to my superiors, and they pandered to her, she was essentially in control. She had been the same way with my predecessor and I’m sure is the same way with my successor. Apparently, in that company, it’s the loudest, most frequent whiner who is in the best position.

  90. I believe that it depends on the company you work for. I was a supervisor for a company that supervisor really ment babysitter. They wanted me to micro manage everyone and to be hard on the people who struggled in area’s. They were not interested in teaching employee’s to become better employee’s. This caused an extremely high turn over rate and undo stress on me. I spent all my time hiring training then firing people and I hated it!!!. Now I’m a supervisor for a company that actually lets me supervise. Which to me means. Teach, listen and learn. I can now teach my employee’s on how to do their jobs, listen to them on how things can me done differently, and learn how to do things better myself. I am not all knowing, it is not good for employee’s to have a supervisor who feels that way. There is no way you can have a team enviroment when the supervisor thinks they are better than everyone else. It is my responsibilty to know my other employee’s jobs but it is also my responsibilty to know that my employee’s can do their jobs better than I can. My employee’s can have time off anytime they want, they can leave early anytime they want, as long as they have the work done that needs to be done. If they want to come in at 3am so they can go to a soccer game, Dr. Appt or just to go shopping they can. I have an extremely low call in sick rate because of this, there is no need to call in “sick” unless you truley are because the employee’s do not have to fight me on getting time off to do things that are important to them.

  91. Don’t complain. Period. Try to work out issues by communicating. If you can’t do so and have a truly legitimate issue, frame it as diplomatically as possible and approach your boss when he/she is in a good mood and has time to listen. I have worked for a multitude of managers over a 50 year period, and only two of them were good, professional managers who had the skills to manage people. The others got their jobs by politics or nepotism. And, I have had my share of totally dysfunctional, psycho bosses. Unfortunately, most of them were in the latter category.

  92. Companies almost always have a culture that is dictated from the top down.
    And some work places are generally like life where it appears that “no good deed goes unpunished.”

    Some people have more choice about where they work, but I acknowledge the reality that there are many that hold a position, not so much by choice, but by necessity.

    The small truth in this article, although poorly articulated, is that it makes any job harder when you work with someone that is constantly complaining and negative. To me they are one of the hardest type of person to work around. They rarely have anything good or positive to say about anything, and the more positive others are about anything, the more negative and fault finding they become.

    Poor management is mostly explained by what the company culture accepts or encourages, or by the “Peter Principle”, which presents the case that people are frequently promoted to their level of incompetence; that many are promoted to positions where they manage others based on the fact that they could do the job they are now managing. This is totally incorrect. Many of them could manage if given the training to do so, but most never get any help or training, and fewer yet are ever offered training by the company. In these situations pretty much everyone suffers.

  93. I cried on the job twice, one was an ill family member and I was taking care of their Autistic child and working in my new position. The first time cried, and expressed how I felt I was offered A promotion. The Gm said I show heart and integrity.

    Good Boss want solutions to the issues that an employee will bring to them.


  95. Reading all of the comments to this article made my head spin. Sounds like a lot of whiners! Yup, some jobs suck. And with this economy, many of us have to work in less than ideal situations. I also understand that taking issues to your supervisor or manager is totally acceptable…IF…you have a solution to the issue. Constantly whining to your boss about issues and not having an idea to correct the situation or giving your boss some sort of direction does nothing for the employee or the boss.

    I work for a small company that definitely has its issues. If I had male genitalia, or if I were “hot”, I’d probably get a lot further. I have a strong EI, but in this company, it just doesn’t matter. And that’s life. If I really want to see a difference in my career, I have to make the change. Whining to my boss isn’t going to help. Instead, having a positive attitude and doing what needs to be done adds more positive notes on my resume.

    • I completely agree. Especially with the male genitalia part! I have only worked for 2 companies in the past 18 years – both women owned – who consistently offer new employees a much higher salary, seemingly because of the extra appendage. It certainly couldn’t be because of experience – as HR Manager I would know if their experience merited the pay – and it did not.

      • There is nothing new about the issue. It’s been going on forever and will continue to do so as long as there are managers who can’t think above the waist. Unfortunate, but true.

  96. I couldn’t disagree more with this article. I have been in HR for almost 20 years and once had a boss/owner whose personal motto was, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease”. God, I hated that motto, but that is exactly what she did. Those who complained the loudest and most often were coddled, handled with kid gloves, and given the promotions and the best raises. I have always been the strong, silent type who did my job (and did it well) and was always there to fill in or help anyone else in their job. What I usually got was more and more work piled on me because I did not constantly whine and complain. Even today, I see the most difficult workers getting treated better those who put their nose to the grindstone and just focus on knocking out the work. The truth is, the more flashy, loud and obnoxious you are, the more attention you get!

  97. I’m firmly convinced that the following saying is true: PEOPLE ARE PROMOTED TO THE LEVEL OF THEIR INCOMPETENCE.

    As for the whiney ones on the job: they are everywhere. They either whine to their coworkers, or whine to their bosses, or even whine to their customers. Sad.

  98. I have worked with some turkey managers, who used snitches to exert their control in an organizations. Their reward system was not merit based, but obsequious based. They destroyed a few organizations before they got their just rewards. One of them would request his employees to give him the Nazi salute every day. Another wanted his women employees to flash him daily.

  99. All I can say is WOW!
    Everyone knows the bottom line is: Just Kiss butt, have a fake smile on your face, do your work, and go home.
    The trouble is, everyone IS doing that and the workplace has become “unbearable”
    No one cares anymore! There is NO integrity! NO principles! NO values!
    I MISS the sympathetic, honest, wise Management! Those days are gone…

  100. My boss was a whiner. She’d cry at the drop of a hat and in front of everybody! She cried as she asked me to “help” her do her work. Out of pity I began to help her catch up, until I realized that I was not only doing my job, but hers as well while she spent her time socializing and dily-dalying on the computer. I finally put my foot down and told her I would not be “helping” her anymore. I’ve always been very professional and have kept my emotions in check, yet because she went and cried her eyes out to our supervisor (she’s his favorite), I am now the one without a job.
    Moral of the story: Stick to your work and do not help out others!! It sounds cruel, but a person who is in a higher position should already know how to be organized enough to budget their time wisely. Document everything in a notebook with exact times and dates for backup. Even though I had that documentation, our supervisor still took her side. Although it didn’t work for me, it might work for others!

  101. the company supplies pens, one at each work station. for worklists, for results, for telephone calls. one worker likes this system it has worked for years. one worker likes putting all the pens in her pockets- it makes her look busy and the other employees are constantly running around looking for a pen. which employee did the company keep? oh yeah and this is not a whine. does it matter what the job is? the sex of either worker, their ages? does it matter if someone’s life is on the line?

  102. Wow….I never thought I’d see the day that passive aggressive behavior is applauded and encouraged. So we get a bunch of people who are passive aggressive (aka: high EI) in an organization that look and act all nice and pretty, but nothing of substance gets done anymore. No wonder we’re 5th in world rankings. No one cares about the final product, they just care about making it look good…-er.

  103. As a Director of 5 departments with 50 + employee’s at any given time, this article can simply be applied to the comments to see who would be a good employee or not.

  104. I really had to stop reading all the comments. The spelling errors in almost all the comments were tremendous!! People spell words correctly! Proof before posting – PLEASE !!

  105. I have been in the miltary for 18+years, and unfortunately, we have the same problems as the civilian workforce, what is worse, people that are poor performers continue to get paid and will not get fired. It would take a disciplinary problem for them to get kicked out. So, what I have seen is that you have a lot of type A personality “leaders” throwing their resumes around constantly. They will admit that the mission comes before the people. Well, if the people leave your mission goes to hell as well, so that theory is pretty much bs to me.
    How about this for being a whiner. You have Ms. A, who has 18+ years in the military and is a single mother. She has adequate daycare and stands 24 hour duty and works a full 8 hour workday every week. Ms. B has been in the military for 8 years and is a single mother. She has “a friend” watch her child, but does not have child care to stand 24 hour duty, and because she is coddled she comes to work at 8am and leaves every day at 1pm, causing other people to pick up the slack. Is this whining? Is it fair? Please let me know what you think, because your tax dollars pay her salary and plenty of others in the military, and trust me, this BS happens throughout the military. I should write a book about it.

  106. Managing is vastly overrated. In my experience, managers end up babysitting and solving personal problems for their employees, with very little appreciation and a lot of grief for their efforts.The stress level is very high because you’re trying to motivate someone to do a job you can do twice as well and at 1/2 the time and without whining about it.
    It’s much less stressful to be an employee, even when observing boneheaded managers that you could run rings around.

  107. I am the only female in my field in the state where I live. My “peers” and my supervisors are all members of the “good ole boys” network-literally. I have been bullied and ostracized by all of them. When I started, I was so excited about the journey I was embarking on, and wanted to give my all-learn new skills, become a valued employee, be a part of the “team”, etc…I’ve always had a strong work ethic. One of my strengths is that I have an ability to get along with people easily. Another strength is my willingness to learn, I WANT to be excellent at what I do. But I quickly learned that the “good ole boys” do not welcome women, do not listen to women, and will take every opportunity to try to make you feel incompetent. They don’t want to see you succeed-they want you to fail, and will go to extremes to make you feel like you just want to quit, that you aren’t wanted, and your opinion doesn’t count. Employee relations is just a joke. If you bring up any issues such as bullying, or disparate treatment, then YOU are the problem. You go from department to department trying to talk with someone who will understand what’s going on-but there is no one-no one that will help. So the bully bosses and coworkers continue as usual, knowing they can get away with it. I’ve finally learned a very valuable lesson that has helped me cope-and that is” Damned if you do, and Damned if you don’t.” Either way, you’re gonna be wrong! So I’ve learned to deal with it, and when I complete a major task, and then am told the form has been changed, i just laugh to myself, and think of how inefficient this organization is. And i do it over, in the new form-no sweat -I’ve learned to expect it! And I just laugh to myself-and repeat the above nine words. Hell-I’m not gonna change jobs in this economy! And remember-documentation is everything!

  108. I can’t believe how many people are bitching about peoples grammar!! So bloody what?!! I guess now comes the barrage of abuse at me saying this. Surely expecting the, “clearly you arent management” comment, or, “you’ve spelled this wrong, or that wrong”, or “you shouldn’t have said it like that”. I think this is an interesting debate, but would like to cut down on the amount I read thanks to people complaining about others grammar.

    • No, the message we’re sending is not to whine more, but that the suggestions for personality improvement in the article are not the key to getting ahead. The primary complaint is that, despite one’s diligence and manners, the brown-nosers are the ones who receive rewards and promotions, and often good employees who don’t have brown-nosing social skills may be the victim of the gossip of petty individuals who have a good relationship with the boss. In sum, the root of the problem is not employee behavior, but managerial behavior. The shepherd is the one who can lead all the sheep off the cliff; the manager is responsible for setting the tone of the office environment (this is why they get paid more), thus explaining why many office environments are a dismal failure, because managers (not individual employees) are incompetent at managing office morale.

  109. Well it sounds like that you all have jobs. Try being unemployed for 3 months to 4 years…
    I will say from years of experience both as an hourly employee, and a salaried store manager, that you DO have to be careful of what you say so that you do not step on someone’s toes too hard and lose your job.(especially these days) And no, I lost my job due to an accident at work almost 4 years ago now and I have not been able to find employment-I have been looking for about 4 months now. This is due to my husband also being unemployed by a layoff from a large gov’t contractor.

  110. Control ypur emotions Mr spock your car is having transmission problems, your kid needs to go to the doctor and they are cutting your hours in half due to the economy but control your emotions you battery operated disposable entity

  111. spot on.

    have people here at work that dont come in, 1.5 hrs late everyday, leave 1/2 day, take day after day off, and management doesnt care. They dont want to hear it.

  112. I think this article has whiners and people that speak up intertwined, there is a huge difference. Whiners will complain about everything no matter how small of an issue. Whiners in my experience are the ones that would rather have some one else do their job or work harder at getting out of work then actually doing it. The sad part is both whiners and some one who speaks up about issues will always be labeled by employers and management the same. In my experience management wants people to do what they are told and never want to be questioned, that is why the azz kissers, brown nosers or what ever label you want to use, seem to get ahead. What better for a manager then a sheeple that will follow them like lemmings no matter how wrong the path may be. Early in my career I learned if you don’t speak up you will only be walked on if you are not the favorite employee and that is coming from my own experience as a favorite, not because of azz kissing, but because I got my job done correctly and on time consistently. I have spoken up numerous times in the defense of other employees when I knew the management was wrong. I have worked for three companies in my life and each change was by my decision and for the better as far as my career. With each new employer I heard the promises and the stories of we have plans for you, but each time some lesser qualified person was moved into a more desirable position and I ended up taking on their responsibilities from day one. I have no problem speaking out as I have learned a long time ago I am not going to be management, not meant to be and honestly don’t want to be, seeing how many managers around me have been fired, let go or what ever during my career. It takes a special kind of person to be management and I am not one.

  113. I have worked for several large companies over the years and I don’t care who it is, there is always some kind of problem. Some have more than others. There is an equal share of useless managers and useless employees and useless managers who let the useless employees get away with murder because they are friends, pets whatever. I have found, as I’ve gotten older, just go in, do the best job you can do, and leave. Don’t take it home with you and don’t let it make you lose your hair or get gray. Yes, I do get angry occassionally but I try to just let it go because I have been labeled a whiner and I know that once you get that label, it doesn’t matter if you yell fire and the building is actually on fire, the management won’t do a darned thing about it. The Human Retards (Resources) is just as bad. They are basically a worthless entity in any company.

  114. It simply boils down to this: It’s become absolutely impossible to motivate someone who is already being paid to do nothing. This is true in executives, managers, and employees. We have reached a level of complacency in society where the majority of the work force wants to be paid high dollar for little to no contribution work force champions are criticized, and/or second guessed by all those who refuse to step up and do their share. Have you ever noticed when you need help, it never seems to be available, but when you don’t need assistance everyone wants to tell you how to do it no wonder people are saddened in the workplace, sure we get paid but self-esteem is slaughtered. Common sense should apply, but common sense is no longer common it should be titled selective sense because only a few remain in the workforce.

  115. Don’t got no college, none of that fancy stuff. Have been a key player in many organizations for over 30 years. I have learned through experience, WE is far better than ME. WE will always out perform ME. ME is only as good as the We’s that they are surrounded by. The other thing is honesty. Those two things will always take one a long way in life. Of course at least a cup full of hard work fancies up the recipe. Never ever forget, there are times the one in the room thought to be the dumbest can spark the conversation that leads to the solution.

  116. In a technical trade or skilled environment.. emotional intelligence will not fix equipment that is down. Skilled employees are a necessity!!! writer-take your EI and stick it up your A.

    • I believe that Captain obvious here, simply points out that making scenes/bad attitude at work will put you on the Sh*t list quicker than making a work related mistake.
      While to get your job done, generally speaking , you dont need to be #1 in your field, apparently, a lot of people can’t keep their mouth shut when comments are not needed.

  117. There’s 2 type or employess, the ones that tries and the ones just there to collect a paycheck.
    As a leadman electrician, I happened to be working alone often and the boss got me stuck with a 3 level scaffold. Obviously very slow to work with it and not to mention the liability of me putting it togheter that alone over and over (the last level) to move it around.
    It sounds to me a legittimate complaints to ask for an electric lift instead but I get the ‘if you want ,theres the door and someone else will do it’.
    Morale of the story is I either dont work or I am told it takes too much time to finish it and I have no control over it….
    I have to say that I do try to work ‘hard and smart’ and when I get helpers I end up working more than them as an example.

  118. I walked away from corporate several years ago. I, too, could no longer take the upper management BS – I just could not lay off another person and destroy their life. However, I was one of the good guys. I had 3 employees follow me from company to company. We were a great team and that was because they trusted me to look out for their best interests. They knew, if they kept me informed, proposed solutions and were proactive in solving problems – I would protect them from upper management. And I shared success with them – bonuses, raises, written notes of praise. I was also a great mentor – several of my staff moved up in the pecking order because I was willing to coach them. THEN, I reorganized my department, found out who wanted to stay and who wanted a severance package, eliminated my own job (that was when severance was GOOD!) and walked away. That was the best thing I ever did! FYI: whiners were counseled, and if they did not “get it” they did not progress. Be a member of the team and the team will support you.

  119. As CEO we make no mistakes. We make the money run our direction so people below (who whorkship our company) needs to be taught what to do as this article displays it. Never too late, emphaty is the key , invest on EI.
    Have a good One, everyone.. even you whiners! ;)

  120. After being contracted to a global wide technology corporation for over 10 years doing a job I loved and enjoyed up until 2 years ago when a new company was awarded the contract. I have never in my life (over 35 years in the work force)have been treated so badly by any company. We were given software that did not work when it was running, was getting between 600-700 emails a day and when errors were made we were called stupid. I was working a minumum of 14 hours a day and still could not keep up with workload. We had about 25% turnover the last year I worked and no replacements were added. They just redistributed the work. When I got stressed to the max I would go get a cup of coffee, unfortunately I could not drink or carry the coffee as my hands were shaking so badly. I emailed, im’ed and called by boss and asked for help and was tolds no help coming. I ended up having a slight heart attack at work and was off for 5 weeks. The straw that broke the camel’s back was on a conference call and we were all told that we had a project to complete which would add an extra 4 to 5 hours of work a day and if we did not get the extra work submitted to our boss by 5PM daily for the next 7 days including weekends we would be written up. I spoke up and told the boss if we were not all doing triple work loads, perhaps we would get our work done in a timley and accurate manner. My boss then asked if I was resigning and I told him yes and that I would be cleaning out by desk and be gone wirthin an hour. I also told him I was no longer going to allow myself to be victumized by him any longer. I guess in the back of my mind I knew this was coming and prepared for it and decided to take an early retirement. I never felt better in my life. Needless to say they did not replace my position. I guess the managers would not get as big a bonus if I was replaced. I realize not everyone can afford to do this. I am fortunate that I could. Don’t be fooled the only things companies care about is the bottom line.

  121. I’ve worked wtih both good and bad bosses, and the lessons learned have served me well as I’ve moved into management. As a manager and as an employee, I focus on doing my job and leading my team as well as I can.

    With my staff, I will listen to what they have to say whether it’s delivered calmly or in an angry tirade (though I prefer the former), and I will make the decisions I think are best for the organization and the team based on what I know about the situation, the political environment of the workplace, and my professional experience — without sacrificing my own ethics or integrity.

    If management asks for my opinion, I give an honest answer in diplomatic terms. If there is an issue that warrants bringing it to the attention of management, I do so — in diplomatic terms. Beyond that, I try not to get too emotionally tied to the outcome after I’ve provided input. They will ultimately be accountable for the decisions that are their responsibility.

    I can tolerate (and even find compassion for or see the humor in) what I may perceive as poor decisionmaking by management and/or my staff — what I won’t tolerate is an unprofessional, disrespectful or unethical work environment.

    Generally, if I like most of the people with whom I work, believe in the product or service of the organization and receive a decent salary for doing work that I enjoy at least 80% of the time, I’m good. Human quirks and mistakes are inevitable, but I prefer to focus on the positive aspects in any given situation, and well, I have found that if I can accept their “failures” they’re a bit more forgiving of mine :-)

  122. I love how all the Bosses are idiots and everyone who works below them would do so much better if only given the chance. This is a case of if you do not get it, you do not get it. To work is a gift and there are thousands of people waiting for your whining self important self to quit or get fired. When your company is bought out or management changes for the worse. GET ANOTHER JOB. If you cannot, then be thankful for the one you have. A friend, “John” was working as a manager at a family run business for 10 years. He was managing the whole plant and was not part of the family. Was a great manager, no degree just HS diploma. Made 150k a year. Got mad because the family made him work weekends and holidays. when they did not change he yelling and threw a chair around. He was fired and with his job experience and education the best paying job he found was for about 65k. Good job but he was in a dream job making more money than he should but he could not shut up and do the job. They valued him highly but he could not see that. I left the corperate world years ago and work for myself. I suggest some of you do the same. If you have the balls to work even harder for yourself than you ever worked for some boss. My guess is that you do not and will continue to sit and whine about your idiot boss.

  123. I understand the posts of some of the workers here. At the same time as a manager, as a human being I believe that we have power over our own happpiness and attitudes.
    Don’t stick around a job you don’t enjoy and spread your misery to everyone else. If things are so bad that you are whining all the time, find something else that makes you happy.
    I’m a salaried manager. I work 6-7 days a week because I want our business to succeed and my employees to have a better work environment. When broken down to by the hour I make less than my employees. The last thing I want is to hear some ungrateful whining.

  124. “Whining” is not always a bad thing. Occasionally problems in software or public relations should be brought to a supervisor’s attention. It is then the manager’s job to take the information from the employee and tell them the reason’s that they are doing things the way they are told, or bring the problem to the attention of the technical support for the software, or whatever it is, so that the problem can be fixed. This can be constructive, and I don’t think it is considered by manager’s as whining. “Whining” is a problem when it inhibits one’s ability to accept change. Many times people complain about the things management does (typically to make things more effecient) because they don’t want to go through the process of learning a new system, which initially, may take more work for the employee. This is not always true, but it is still important to understand that the direction the company takes is still at the discretion of the people at the top of the ladder. An employee is hired to preform tasks the way that business wants them to be preformed. Complaining over and over and over again, for unwarranted reasons, does label you as a whiner. When that happens you probably won’t see a promotion anytime in the future, and its probably for good reason. Why would you want to promote someone with either a volitile personality, or who is going to continually undermine your goal for the direction you are going with the company. You can only “cry wolf” so many times before no one wants to hear you complaints anymore. Also, when it starts to affect the attitudes of surrounding employees it is a problem to that business.

    All cases are situational and it is very hard to generalize these things.

  125. I worked for a car dealership for 12 years.Started as porter,became a mechanic.Promoted to service writer and then Service manager.All in 7 years.To get that far I worked hard.I worked late every time they needed someone to work late.I was friendly with my bosses.I didn’t like them all.But at work it isn’t my job to like or dislike someone,the customer was #1 even if they acted like a jerk.They,ultimitly were the one paying me.People getting ahead by underhanded means are people I don’t like and the other people at the dealership that never got promoted mostly fit this description or were just lazy,just an observation.If people are going to complain at work,either try and change what you don’t like and if you can’t,then that’s the way it is,be quiet and move on.You don’t have to work at that job.It ain’t high school and it is not the employers job to coddle you.Most people don’t want to hear people whining,they know what is going on and don’t need any one rubbing it in.I saved enough money to survive for a while and quit my job and became a full time Musician again just so I don’t have to put with the complainers,cuz if ya don’t like my music you can walk away.Not to many have, thank God………

  126. The nice house, the new car, the shoes ,the stuff, the food that goes bad in your fridge. Were all just stupid bunnies forever chasing the carrot on a stick. Work; for most of us, is a hole we fell into while chasing our carrot. Keep in mind that when you see emotions coming from your employees, that could very well be the result of a big fat carrot shoved right up their ass.

  127. Wow, many of you are really rude. Would you speak to each other like that if you were face to face meeting for the very first time? If so, manners that mom should’ve taught need to be reinforced…

    I enjoyed the article and agree with it. I have a fellow co-worker who constantly finds the negatives at our workplace and whines about it. It is tiring and doesn’t solve a thing. I feel that presenting a solution to what you perceive to be the problem is the best way to attempt to change things.

  128. There are people in this world with common sense, who do ask questions that are intended to benefit a company and the employees at the same time. When someone tries to be innovative, others try to do things the same way because they are afraid of change.The reason the work place is as it is, is because of the corporations controlling politicians for tax credits, cheap labor and materials, and poor working conditions. Why do you think everyone wants everybody to do more with less? It’s all about the all mighty dollar. The people who don’t say anything should quietly get in line with everyone who is letting American businesses go straight to hell.

  129. There are some valid points to this article. The most important point is that emotional intelligence is a highly valued skill. Having the ability to master emotional intelligence in a corporate environment will make you part of the highest class of individuals in that organization. I currently work for a huge company, and it has taken me three years to figure out how things work there. Previously I always worked for small companies were my direct report was the owner and my customers were owners of the other businesses we worked with. In these situations a lack of emotion to a particular was interpreted as having an apathetic attitude, which would often enrage the customer. It might be okay to jerk people around when your customers are working for the same company or they have no recourse against your actions or lack of actions. However when you are dealing with business owners as your customers the situation is drastically different. When your actions or lack of action impact the lively hood of a customer/business owner and they have the ability to do something about it, the way you act and do things is drastically different from many corporate jobs. When a business owner tells you that they are going to take all of their business to another company if you don’t fix the problem they really mean it. They want to get you fired up and emotional so you will do something about the problem and make them happy. They don’t care how it gets done, they don’t care about sick kids or vacation time. I got a reputation as being a go getter and a no bull sh!? kind of guy. I would work hard deliver results and I would not take poor excuses from the people that I worked with or pass them on to others. I did very well but the economy shifted gears and I saw the writing on the wall. Before things really got bad I decided to transition to an industry that had a very stable future. I took a job with a mega huge company, my belief being that working for a mega huge company would give me more opportunities, my go-getter attitude and solid work ethic would propel me to the the top. Sadly none of this was true my previous successes did me no good at my current company and I felt woefully under-prepared for the situation I was in. I have sat for four years and watched people around me move up while I have sat still. I took a 30k cut in salary at 29 years old plus the freedom to do consulting work to work for my current company. Do you think I am unhappy about my situation? I can say that I am not please with it but I can not say that I am truly unhappy. As my therapist pointed out, “ Your health insurance pays for you to talk to me, and I can help you feel better about things with out prescription medication. So you should be happy you have get a paycheck every week and you have health insurance.” Do you think I have learned a lot? I would say that I have and in a way it has been worth it. I will share with you what I think I have learned. Many large corporate American companies are not about producing results or innovation, they are all about sustaining archaic revenue streams and job protection. To fit in an do well there is an equation one must follow to succeed. The equation is A+B+C+D=$. A is the amount of time you spend at the company. This is going to be way more than you ever anticipate, if trying to actually put numbers into this equation please multiply your best estimate by at least a factor of two. Certain things can increase this number or decrease it. It helps to be Mr. nice guy, never making anyone upset with you, and never making any mistakes that people can throw you under the bus for in order to make themselves look better when they make mistakes. However, if you do make mistakes and anger people the amount of time you spend with company can lesson the impact. The amount of time people spend with certain companies is sometimes attributed to loyalty instead of the individuals complete lack of ability or desire to find something better. B = is very simple it is your ability to put up with massive amounts of garbage and smile about things when someone is trying to twist the knife in your back. This may be called several things: emotional intelligence, personal restraint, stupidity, or a valid prescription to Xanax. C = is a little more complicated. It is your ability to filter garbage and only let the things that make you look good reach the higher ups. You need to be able to take even the most simpleminded tasks and turn them into huge wins. These feats of greatness should be overstated to such an extent that they compare to the climbing of Mt. Everest, while under fire from enemy forces. It is extremely crucial that you make power points of these exploits. You need to make sure that you can present your feats of greatness to your astonishingly under-impressed coworkers. One useful tips is to make your presentation as under whelming as possible. This includes the rigid use of company power point templates and no interactive content or media. All images should strictly adhere to the standards that Microsoft has set forth by generously including the stock clip-art gallery that has been part of every version of power point that has ever been released. Many people find this hard to believe but impressive and interesting presentations will make people upset. Having great power points or even speaking effectively opens the door for others to say, “All they did was work on that power point presentation for the whole week and they neglected their break-room coffee stocking responsibilities. That’s why we ran out off Splenda.” This is very bad and if something like this does reach your higher ups you need a scapegoat. This victim needs to have very little ability to retaliate effectively or the opportunity to effectively address their accusers. If possible the safest person to throw under the bus in 99% of these situations will be a service provider, vendor, contract employee or temporary employee. Employees who have had all the fight taken from them by years of loyal service can also do nicely in a pinch, but I caution you to pick your battles. Do not accuse a veteran employee of being “the real cause” of why there was no Splenda on a Wednesday. You do not want to pick that battle my friend. The ole veteran may not care about many other rounds of the blame game but at this point in their career the only thing they may care about or have going for them is how other employee who frequent the break rooms treat them. Most importantly if you “blame” someone you work with for anything, regardless of what their actual responsibility is towards creating the problem they will never allow themselves to take said blame. This manifests itself every time your name is mentioned in that person’s presence. If you call someone out for making a mistake regardless of how incompetent and egregious it is you have made someone upset, and a true enemy for your work life. D is the last and sometimes the most important one. D is your ability to make your bosses job easier. If your boss always hears that you are a nice guy from everyone regardless of your actually productivity they like that. If they never have another employee come to them and say “You have to do something about this person they expect me to do my job in a reasonable amount of time.” then they like that. If they know that they can take their bad day or life out on you, by nit picking your work and you can smile back at them and say, “I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy day to give me this feedback”, then they might like you. If your boss is a real bully it helps to look like you might cry. I really mean “look like you might cry” versus actually crying. Crying would make your boss feel bad, which might trigger repressed emotions. These repressed feelings of humanity will resurface during your next annual review and manifest themselves as the comment “needs improvement on working under pressure”. If you give under whelming presentation that makes the VP of your department look up from their Blackberry for 1/10th of a second your boss will really like that. They may even tell other bosses they helped you revise your presentation or that you have taught you so much since you first started working for them. These positive feelings your boss may have towards you generally only last until the close of the business week.. If you don’t directly pose a threat to your boss they really, really like that a lot. A good example than this would be not having an advanced certificate of any kind, a masters degree or MBA. You will surely be promoted to a blocking positions in no time flat. Blocking positions are reserved for employees that are just on the cusp of management, however the companies promotion requirements will never let them advance any farther without the necessary degree. These positions are right under the level that the boss usually occupies. These serve to block advancement by any other internal candidates who may be more qualified than their boss. The last thing a corporate manager wants is to have someone working underneath them that even has a chance at doing their job one day. A brief word on participating in company provided training. This can be viewed as a threat to the boss, however most often is is not. When doing company sponsored training always have it approved by your manager and discuss it in great length. Any company training they recommend or approve is usually worthless and is not viewed as a threat by them. The instructor they had will never be as good as the one they had when they took the class. Your boss may have already known way more than the instructor could ever teach them about the particular subject and only took it as a requirement to prove they had the knowledge to get their current position.. This makes anything you could possibly learn from the company training a moot point in your bosses eyes. So go ahead and plug your numbers into the equation and see were you stand.

  130. In my opinion, there are 3 types of whinners:
    1. Genuine whinners who has something valid to whine about
    2. Natural born whinners who are never happy with anything
    3.Professional whinner who whines to make his/her life easy

    To overcome all the issues, all one has to do is have a POSITIVE attitude and practise it constantly. Sounds easy but hard to do.

    As managers to get the best out of your staff, try using “What’s in it for the Employees?”. There is only a small fraction of the population that works to enjoy, the rest has something to achieve. Use their needs and wants to relate it to their job/task/overall company goal etc.

  131. I have been trying to tell management at work to check the cook I am relieving before he leaves. I am constantly being left with a mess on my hands when I go into my cooking job from the last cook on duty. I work at a corporate chain place and you would think that they would have things down to a pat by now as to procedures of checking people out to follow food safety and pass health inspections. All I expect is to come into a clean work area whereas the handles are not caked up and I am stocked up with food to meet the under ten minute requirement for orders to get out to the servers to be scanned for check times. If one considers that to be whining then the mentality from management is simply why bother, its easier for them just to not do anything about it. That place has some of the laziest management I have ever seen. You have to be a butt kisser or a friend to get raises or promotions.

  132. “Whiner”, really? Is this the best one can say about someone who is trying to make things better. Change doesn’t come easy for most, people tend to get confortable the way things are even when the things are out-dated & wrong. An abused woman stays in the relationship because of lack of self-esteem, fear, & in a way confort in knowing what to expect rather than venture the unknown. As an employer, one invests in the time & training an emplyee as to what company or as owner expects from employee. As an emploer one is taking a chance that an employee is going to be an assest. As an employee we invest ourselves in doing a job well for our employer. We also take a risk that the company will be an assest for us as well. Both are invested. When either falll short it foes effect the other. I have heard time & time again, just be concerned w/your work, but if my co-worker is slacking or an employer makes poor decision(s) it effects me either through raises, benefits, or promotions. If an employer loses $$$ how will I get any of the above mentioned that help motivate us to do better for an employer? An employer can not run a business alone for the most part. There are working bosses that work along side their staff & those that just delegate. I have been both boss & employee. I would never ask an employee to something I haven’t done or am willing to do for the business. Most this day & age want something for nothing , on both sides. There are few & far between that really take pride in what they are doing. Today most just do enough to get by & collect their $$$. I have never been one to keep my mouth shut when there are wrongs or there is abuse on either side. If u want to be a “sheep” then baaaa!!! to u. I rather be w/out than allow someone to take advantage of me, because I do not take advantage of others. I will not allow someone to use me or get rich off me w/out rewarding me for my “hard” work. We are all consumers, right, & usually one has to pay more for the better product, but yet employers don’t see to have a better employee u need to pay more. I go to “work” to “work” not to when friends or B.S. w/my co-workers I am there to do the job I am being paid to do. I try & make sure I save the company $$$ in the hopes if I save company $$$ that it might benefit me down the road. I have often told my co-workers that if $$$ was coming out of their pockets to pay someone to do a job for them would they want them to stand around txt;n, B.S. w/co-workers, & other things that they shouldn’t be doing on there time, most would say not on my dime, I respond then why do u think u have the right to do it to ur employer? Some of u speak of “common-sense” u can’t get more “common-sense” than that.(lol) Team-work is always mentioned by companies, but yet it rarely used. (lol) Someone is usually doing more than the other & often at times others are allowing them to do all the owrk while they stand around & watch that person work. As long as u work for the company it is ur job to help others w/the work needed to be done. This attitude “it’s not my job” is a bunch of crap. I hold the door open for people when I see others come behind me, is it my job? No, it isn’t it is just the right thing to do. May I ask this of an employer are u willing to pay salaries for those that don’t do the owrk desired of them? As managers are u willing to cut into ur bonus $$$ for ur employees that help u get the #’s so u can get ur bonus, because u sent home the staff to keep ur #’s in line, but created more work for those that are on given shift. Would u have ur bonus w/out them doing the extra work that u decided would help u out but are u willing to compensate employee(s)? Most wouldn’t they get the xtra $$$ off the “hard” work of others & feel no responsibility to their employee that helped make them look good. Chest them & u expect them to work “hard” for u? (lol) I gave part of my bonuses to my staff when I got them for helping me achieve company goals because w/out them the goal would not have been met. Things need to change or there will be a revolt sooner or later.

  133. it seems there are a lot of “whiners” whining about this article. As adults we “should” know the difference between whining and feedback unless of course your a self absorbed know-it-all who thinks the world owes them a living. Managers, to a degree, will listen to “valuable” feedback or they will shutdown the “whiners” because there is no time for “whining”, so quit “whining” and get back to work! Here is a perfect article to read and gain some insight as to the differences of this controversial topic.


  134. All bets are off – who cares about employers, employees whining or not – the gloves are off! When all the dust settles, we’ll see a mass exodus out of offices, etc. It’s turned into dog eat dog from the top down. Check some of the law firm blogs and you’ll have to wind up being suspicious of everyone around you – was he/she the one who made that sexist remark; was he/she the partner who trashed all the associates who trashed all the legal assistants who trashed all secretaries and is now smiling in your face. No whining necessary except for attorneys whining about how they went to a top law school, have all this debt and are not appreciated or have been laid off; whaa, whaaaaa; there will be sweet karma.

  135. Okay, in a nutshell:

    If the boss likes you (regardless of your personality), complaints are “constructive feedback.”

    If the boss doesn’t like you (regardless of your personality), complaints are “whining.”

    So we need to have internet articles about how bosses can improve their personalities to boost workforce morale and be impartial leaders.

  136. I have to say that was not my experience at work. I worked with a woman who everytime she could not manipulate things to suit herself she would cry and the boss would give in. In the end I got so stressed out by her behaviour I left and never went back to work for an employer again. I work for myself now and don’t have to put up with that sort ot thing thank goodness. Everything is so politically correct that it seems bosses are afraid to deal with this kind of behavioiur thus the manipulators get ahead at the expense of everyone else in my view.

  137. Obviously whoever moderates this does not like people who work for themselves as my comment has not made it amongst contributors. Ah well at least I am not enslaved 8 hours a day plus and in a position where I have to take nonsense from gormless twits (commonly referred to as bosses) anymore.


    Annieuk – and no I don’t expect you to publish this – it ‘s just between me and you.

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