It can be very challenging to establish priorities at work. When you want to excel at everything you do, it’s hard to say no, isn’t it? (Especially when your boss is hovering above your desk, waiting for you to say yes.)

Often, we take on big projects at work and big goals at home, without being certain that we can reach those goals. That’s what Laura Lopez, the author of The Connected and Committed Leader: Lessons from Home, Results at Work talks about in her book and at speaking engagements.

Here’s some more thoughts from Lopez on management, leadership and being a team player.

“We live in an optimistic culture and believe that anything is possible. While, for the most part, this belief has a tremendous upside, it also has a dramatic downside. When you believe you can have it all, you are never satisfied with what you currently have.  And when you’re dissatisfied with what you have today, you can’t bring your best for an even better tomorrow.”

“Many people admire someone who seemingly “has it all.” They aspire to be in their boss’s job, they wish they could afford a new Porsche like their neighbor’s, they envy their friends who are stay-at-home parents.  (And the stay-at-home parents may be wishing they could be high-powered executives instead.)”

“At any point in life, you can find yourself wishing for something. You end up focusing more on what you don’t have, often forgetting to enjoy what you do have.  You’re so focused on the job you aspire to get, that you aren’t even doing the job you actually have.  As a result, you undermine your performance.”

Here are 6 ideas Lopez suggests when considering your priorities:

• Realize that every benefit has its cost.  When we choose something, we invariably pass on something else. 
• Get clear on the choices you make, because every choice has its share of sacrifices.  And if you become resentful about the “path not taken,” you won’t perform at your best level. 
• Understand that people create their own success; it isn’t due to luck or happenstance.  See a direct correlation between your actions and your successes and failures. 
• Have confidence in your ability to select your goals and then work hard to achieve them. 
• Understand that you can’t have everything all at once.  For instance, you can’t be both a stay-at-home parent and a corporate executive at the exact same time.  But you can be a great parent in one moment and a great executive in another.
• When you’re in a particular role, give it your fullest. Don’t lament on what you aren’t doing.  Focus on what you are doing, and don’t get preoccupied with anything else.