Is there a reason you’re late … or is it just an excuse?
By Kate Lorenz on Mar 17, 2010 in Featured, Job Surveys, Mature Workers
Who invented the standard nine-to-five workday? He or she must have been a morning person because if I were setting the workday hours, I’d push it to start at 10 a.m. at the earliest. Why?
While I’d love to be the type of person who just jumps out of bed alert and perky every day, it just doesn’t work for me that way. Take this morning:
When I heard my favorite DJ through my alarm at sunrise, I hit my snooze several times in an attempt to squeeze as much time out of my slumber as possible. This is my typical M.O. — not very good for someone who actually read an article yesterday about how to become a morning person.
But despite my tendencies to linger in bed as long as possible, I have to say I am fairly punctual arriving to the office — most of the time.
Seems I’m not alone. A new CareerBuilder survey reveals that 16 percent of workers said they arrive late to work at least once a week, but that’s down from 20 percent in last year’s survey. An additional 8 percent said they are late at least twice a week, down from 12 percent last year. What’s the cause of the decline in job tardiness? Could it be the economy?
“Some workers may be more concerned with the nuances of their on-the-job performance these days, resulting in fewer late arrivals,” said Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources for CareerBuilder. “Regardless of the economy, though, getting to work on time can be more of a priority in some workplaces than in others. It’s important for workers to be aware of their company’s tardiness policies and make sure to be honest with their manager if they are going to be late.”
In the survey, workers shared a variety of reasons for being tardy, led by traffic (32 percent) and lack of sleep (24 percent). Seven percent said getting their kids ready for school or day care was the cause of their lateness, while the same amount said bad weather was the culprit. Other common reasons included public transportation, wardrobe issues or dealing with pets. All of these reasons seem legitimate, and I’ll bet all workers have fallen victim to at least one.
In my defense, I’d have to say that not waking up on time — once in awhile – is a fairly typical (and acceptable) reason for being late to work. So is adjusting to daylight saving time. (Note: This is legit only in springtime when we lose an hour from the time change.) But then there are the excuses. It seems people will use any excuse for being late for work. Here are some of the real-life excuses hiring managers have heard from their employees explaining their tardiness:
- I got mugged and was tied to the steering wheel of my car.
- My deodorant was frozen to the windowsill.
- My car door fell off.
- It was too windy.
- I dreamt I was already at work.
- I had to go to the hospital because I drank antifreeze.
- I had an early morning gig as a clown.
- A roach crawled in my ear.
- I saw an elderly lady at a bus stop and decided to pick her up.
- My dog swallowed my cell phone.
A final word of caution to those of you who are punctuality challenged: While some employers are more lenient with worker tardiness, others have stricter policies. Thirty-four percent of employers said they have terminated an employee for being late.
What’s the best excuse you’ve heard or used? Tell us below.
John Wilson | Mar 17, 2010
I had an employee tell me that a ghost kept turning off his alarm clock and that is why he was always late. I can collaborate this.
Linda | Mar 29, 2010
I could not find my car keys; they were in the refrigerator.
Linda | Mar 29, 2010
I couldn’t find my car keys; they were in the refrigerator.
melody | Apr 21, 2010
it looked like Saturday
Keith | Apr 21, 2010
My girlfriend is a nymphomaniac and won’t let me out of bed until she is satisfied
Richard A. Curtis | Apr 21, 2010
I didn’t have enough money for gas
My mower wouldn’t start and I couldn’t get it fixed
There was a long line at the Drive-thru
I spilled my coffee on my suit ,tie ,skirt ,blouse
i got stuck in the car wash
Sergio Leon | Apr 21, 2010
I said my boss : rain don’t allow me see the EXIT on I-5 and I lost to took the right exit then I was driving lost the last 40 minutes in the West…but finally I recalled a route to came back.
S | Apr 21, 2010
All four of my tires were slashed….two weeks in a row
colleen | Apr 21, 2010
took the dog for a walk and he pulled ran off so i had to find him before i came to work.
nickyg | Apr 21, 2010
i noticed once i was very unhappy with my job it was hard to get up for work everymorning. even worse i had to arrive at 6 am and work a 10 hr a day shift. if i was even a minute late i lost a quarter of an hour pay or even if i was 14min early i would not get paid for it until 6am. kind of crappy when this happens. alot of various things the bosses would impliment that made no sense whatsoever drove me to workin a dead end job. like for example the company stating no raises were to be given due to economy, and whats rediculous is they tell us at the start of 2009 that we profited the most in company history. they told us the profit and i figured a dollar raise an hour to be about .0008% out of their profits a year. makes one feel like they wont get anywhere in the company if only a couple people are actually able to live a generous life while the rest struggle check to check. So what im saying is its hard to arrive on time if after a while working hard for the company makes only them more money and not the worker… Nick from UTAH,
Dani | Apr 21, 2010
I had a co-worker who had stayed up partying all night, and called in drunk. My boss couldn’t even be mad at her because she was so totally honest.
nickyg | Apr 21, 2010
oh. and i once told my boss i was late due to the nuns bus being on fire. who else would have saved em. lol
nickyg | Apr 21, 2010
oh and im joining the USMC because there is no work anymore anywhere after being laid off along with 75 percent of the rest of us peons
Dr.V.Venkatanarayanasami | Apr 21, 2010
If a person does not habituated to be on time he can never be taught or pressuresized or punished to be on time. Since nowadays flexible timings have into existence even going to late to office may seems to be outfocus in due course of time. World is pushed to a great change and the olden and golden traditional values goes ashtray and due course our own philosophy may even changed to our convenience.
Seth | Apr 21, 2010
My electricity went out so my alarm clock was reset.
MCC | Apr 21, 2010
MY SONS DOG HAS REALLY ATE TWO OF MY CELL PHONE. IT TOOK SEVERAL TIMES OF HIM GETTING AHOLD OF IT TO DESTROY THEM. THANK GOD HE HAS STOPPED CHEWING EVERYTHING ELSE ALSO. BUT IT NEVER MADE ME LATE FOR WORK.
Siva | Apr 21, 2010
I hate looking at same faces daily and find no worth loosing my earling morning sleep for a job that has no busy work schedules. When the actual work starts at 8am there is no reason to be on time by 7am. when there is more work, we work overtime so 10 – 15 minutes of coming late to office is acceptable in our book of ethics.
Mark | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me he has to drink when he drives at night to stay awake. (He drinks beer) Was late for work because he got pulled over and arrested for DUI. that was his defense with the company and the court
Abisai | Apr 21, 2010
My car had a flat tire…
The kids missed the bus so I had to drop them off…
Had to stop at the gas station…
My dog is sick and he puked all over the kitchen…
Was cooking breakfast and my table cloth caught on fire…
There was an accident though my daily route so I had to take a new route…
Jehovah Witness came to my door trying to sell me stuff while I was walking out of the house…
Had to drop my sister off in her doctors appointment…
Those are my excuses either that or had to rescue a cat off a tree :p
Char | Apr 21, 2010
As an Employer … I’ve heard everything from power outages, I left my cellphone at home and had to go back for it, the dog got sick all over the place, my roommate just slept with my boyfriend and I’m freaking out, traffic, PD just pulled me over and gave me a ticket, doctor kept me longer than I expected, ex didn’t show up to pick up the kids, court kept me longer than I thought, friend of the family died in the middle of the night on my couch, dentist appt went on for hours, flat tire, battery dead, ran out of gas, female problems, trolley was late, bus was late, not enough money to take the trolley, bus or cab, Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother, Son, Daughter, Cousin, In-Law, roommate, Ex anything … all died hafta deal with funeral arrangements or attend funeral, need immediate surgery for neck, back, gall bladder, kidney stone, diverticulitis, cysts … DMV took too long, truck broke down, I’m in jail and I don’t know when I’ll get out, I’ve got jury duty, my kid just broke an arm on the playground, need to hit the bank to pay my child support, the rent is due, overdue, or late and I’ll get evicted, I got towed, impounded for overdue tickets, expired registration, 72 hour violation, driving without a license or a DUI … my precious cat got out of the house and I have to find it … wow, I guess I’ve been a Manager for an awfully long time, seems like I’ve heard them all and I haven’t even finished the list! LOL
joe | Apr 21, 2010
my driver died on the way here and i had to wait on another one to get here.
Kenji Wee | Apr 21, 2010
“My goldfish is pregnant I need to take care of her. That’s why I’m late for work; sorry boss.”
Ty | Apr 21, 2010
A mexican stole my car.
Matt | Apr 21, 2010
I actually turn off my alarm unaware that I have done so while I’m still asleep. I’ve had to move my alarm far enough away from my bed that I have to get out of bed to turn it off.
I’ve used “getting pulled over by the police” however it is probably overused though.
Todd | Apr 21, 2010
I am in the Navy and when I recently got to Japan I was using my ipod touch as my alarm. Well, one night I plugged my ipod into my computer, which I left on east coast time, and it synced to the computer. Well the next morning I woke up to what I thought was early and made myself to work and found my office in the middle of our morning meeting. And my excuse was…my clock was in the wrong time zone.
Charlie | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me, “I woke up in the middle of the night thirsty so I grabbed an Oreo and a glass of milk. I took a bite of the Oreo and a swallow of milk and thought, ‘oh this is chunky..’ so I threw away the Oreo and finished the milk…” When was the last time an Oreo went bad?
ashley | Apr 21, 2010
my daughter was in my room while i was sleeping and was playing with the alarm clock. it came unplugged and thats why i was late.
glenn | Apr 21, 2010
i had to stop to use the bathroom
MANG RESTY | Apr 21, 2010
I used to work in a publishing company and i must admit that i am a perennial late comer there were times that the whole department would clap their hands if they saw me report for work on time and this article though funny is really true.Tardiness produces the most creative and absurd excuses.
glenn | Apr 21, 2010
sick has iam i should not have came at all
glenn | Apr 21, 2010
i had to wash my hair
Mohamed | Apr 21, 2010
another reason which is my cell phone battery was dead once i wake up and i realized that it’s already too late
glenn | Apr 21, 2010
pg my boy keep me bussey this one was a emp
Jo | Apr 21, 2010
My watch keeps running slow……………
Tracy | Apr 21, 2010
I could make up an excuse however, most of the time I’m just doing all kinds of little things in the morning and not managing my time very well. As a result, I usually don’t leave the house until the very last minute, and am almost always 2-3 minutes late…it’s my own fault. I take responsibility.
Cathy | Apr 21, 2010
There was a squirrel in my car that I couldn’t get out.
Rikki | Apr 21, 2010
I accidentally set my alarm for PM instead of AM! I have actually done this a couple times!
RIKKI | Apr 21, 2010
I have actually done this. I accidentally set my alarm for 6PM instead of 6AM.
Leo | Apr 21, 2010
The subway train I was on got a flat.
Joe | Apr 21, 2010
I would have been to work on time but there was a sniper in the school parking lot which closed the freeway.
modin | Apr 21, 2010
this is in fact a reality. Its happened to me. I remember one day setting the alarm for 7.45 am and when I woke up i saw it was set for 12.45 pm. Luckily i got up at 9.00 am and rushed to work. I still cant explain to myself how it happened. The ghost might have played tricks. The ghost of laziness.
Wendy | Apr 21, 2010
My Boss (a Director) was late for a very important meeting one day. Ready for this………. His excuse was he got caught up in traffic because some one had dumped a huge pile of used cloth baby diaper in the middle of the road, and there was a line of cars trying to drive around them.
sana haider | Apr 21, 2010
i had the days of the week all mixed up and thought it was sunday when it actually was not; didnt realize it was a working day till i turned on the tv at around 10 a.m.
Traci | Apr 21, 2010
My hemorroids were acting up. What do you say to that?
Alison | Apr 21, 2010
John, it’s 5 am I can’t sleep and now I’m sitting in my living room laughing. A ghost? That is by far the best excuse I have heard yet. Thanks for making my day!
Dudewtfnowai | Apr 21, 2010
My family died.
Bob | Apr 21, 2010
My canary escaped out his cage and flew around the bedroom, then landed on my alarm clock and accidently turned it off.
harry | Apr 21, 2010
sorry 4 being l8 sir,was having sex with ur wife…my best excuse
Raven | Apr 21, 2010
Once a friend of mine said “The train got delayed”, Boss bought it.
But there is no train-station to our office at all. He lives 2 blocks away from work lol!
harry | Apr 21, 2010
sorry sir,this time it was with ur gal..
Ray | Apr 21, 2010
I love the old “anal glaucoma” excuse. I just don’t see my ass coming in to work today-used for when calling in sick. It can be used as a temporary illness as to why you’re late-I couldn’t see my ass coming in to work, but it cleared up.
paul | Apr 21, 2010
i have diahrea.lol
works all the time. my boss things is discusting to even continue the conversation lol . thats saved me a couples of times 
jalas | Apr 21, 2010
Lazy fellows like late to get up
Olivia | Apr 21, 2010
I’m wearing slippers!
Melanie | Apr 21, 2010
I had a co-worker call in and announce it was because her cat was sick. I’ve called in because of vetrinary emergencies more than once, but I never broadcast the fact- I always just say I’m sick. In fact, one time I called in because my python was coiled around the track that the driver seat sets on in my car- but I didn’t tell them that, because it was bound to end up on a blurb like this!
arvind | Apr 21, 2010
i had a dream today was saturday!
Vince | Apr 21, 2010
Here’s a reason for being late that a large group of individuals will appreciate:
“I couldn’t find my reflective belt.”
Lucas P | Apr 21, 2010
The best REASON I have ever heard was: “My roommate’s dog pooped on my bed.”
Auto Parts Mall | Apr 21, 2010
Usually the reason is lots of traffic. After a while they don’t even bother with excuses, it becomes the norm.
Mark | Apr 21, 2010
I have anal glaucoma…Cannot see my ass getting to work!
Olsen | Apr 21, 2010
WTF is everyone crying about. I only wish I had a 9 to 5 job. I am in the military and I have to get up at 0530 every morning 6 days out of the week and work 12 hours. So just shut up about having to wake up at 730 8 oclock in the morning. It drives me nuts, just shut up about it and move on!!!!
abby | Apr 21, 2010
I slipped and fell in the car.
Frankie | Apr 21, 2010
Had some really good sex and slept away after
angel | Apr 21, 2010
This is one that a guy called in when it was winter…my car tires are froze to the ground…Say What?
Spring Wilcox | Apr 21, 2010
I had a hangover once and was 30 mins late to work and told my manager that I had forgot to put my work clothes in the dryer the night before.
Wayne | Apr 21, 2010
I had to bury my cat. He ran out the door as I was leaving for work and was hit by a car.
Mark | Apr 21, 2010
I was making love to my wife.
Jessica | Apr 21, 2010
I had a woman who’s daycare had a series of crises, from being sprayed for bugs, to a fire, then morning workers not showing up on time to open (she previously said it was a 24 hour daycare). When I asked her the name of the daycare, she didn’t remember the name, just where it was. I terminated her for excessive tardies and then found out (when shetried to get unemployment) that she didn’t have any children.
Katie | Apr 21, 2010
My husband inadvertently locked me INSIDE our house. For real. We had just moved into our new home and didn’t know that the locks on the doors required a key both inside and outside the house. He had an early flight out-of town the next morning for a business trip, left the house before I was even up, and locked the door from the outside with the only house key we had at that point. When I was ready to leave for work I discovered I couldn’t get out of the house!!
Adam | Apr 21, 2010
I was abducted by aliens who wanted to use me to reveal Earth’s secrets. My brother used that on one of his teachers once. It made the teacher laugh so hard that she actually forgave the lateness.
Tyler | Apr 21, 2010
Mine was once “The cat ran out the door and i had to chase her down and she hid from me and i had to get her.”
Emmanuel | Apr 21, 2010
Another excuse could be like this one: I got caught up in the heavy morning vehicular traffic.
jeremy | Apr 21, 2010
Hey man, that cockroach DID TO crawl in my ear! Screw this servay! Screw you all.
Great, I’m late for work now…
Hunter | Apr 21, 2010
Ha! What a ham. and linda yours is bad. oh heres one. someone poured pepto down my pants.
BAKA | Apr 21, 2010
I am a supervisor, so I’ve heard some good ones, but my favorite by far was,
“After my dental surgery, the pain medication knocked me out so bad that when I came to, I couldn’t remember WHERE I WORKED!!!”
Logan | Apr 21, 2010
you remember that cat that escaped the petting zoo? well it turned up outside of my house and i had to wait for it to wander off so i could leave.
Barb | Apr 21, 2010
A coworker once called in saying she would be late because she had to clean her toilet. That is one of many excuses she had, but by far the best.
JANICE | Apr 21, 2010
I chased my son down and sprained my ankle .
Lin | Apr 21, 2010
I forgot to put on my bra, and had to go home for it!
Neesalun | Apr 21, 2010
A former co-worker was chronically late. Here are a few of his excuses: “I’m right around the corner” “My shoelace broke” “My roommate’s gas was stolen” “My gas was stolen” There were more…but he was always 15-60 minutes late and he would call when he was already 10 minutes late. He got away with it for a long time until he moved.
Robert | Apr 21, 2010
Lol! my favorite excuse in school was that I was walking behind a slow dog.
Les the handyman | Apr 21, 2010
I used to keep a log of the excuses my employees gave me. In a way it is fun as a release for my stress when certain people dodn’t show up.
When they tell me they are sick and I show up at their house to see if they are ok, I find most of them out shopping or just fine.
Over the years one guy must have thought I forgot but his grand mother died nine times.
hahahehehehehe
I have a list which is much better than yours. I know when a women is lying. I am not going to tell you my secret but I know.
After I had a meeting posting all their excuses as I watched their faces as I went down the list, I saw who gave which excuse. The I showed them the cost of them not showing up for work.
Most people get sick or instance on a Thursday on a long weekend or their Grandmothers died on a Monday on a long weekend.
As an employer, I just shake my head in wonder, why these people have no interest on moving ahead. I used to think it is a Canadian thing but I have seen it in other countries too.
Since then got rid of my 24 employees as I was really working to pay their salaries and few ever surprised me.
I have one helper that almost never complains.
About 15 years ago I got a grant from the government to hire 15 students. So They put ads out for me. I got thousands of calls. In fact I startted a log to there too
Here are some of the questions I got from them.
Can I get my teeth fixed before I come to work
Can I have my Vacation before I come to work
The job posting was to hand out fliers for my handyman company and those who showed promise, would help me on jobs.
Let’s see….I want the job, but I need to go to the cottage first, Can I have the job when I get back.
Is may vacation paid? Can I go away and get money?
And the winner. Can I come and pick out the furniture for my corner office, then take a paid sabbatical for a year and while I am going that do I get a company car. Is gas included?
What is the school system or the parents of these kids teaching them? It is no wonder when these kids grow up is their lack of self esteem, no honor, no integrity, no compassion, in fact, not much of anything and then they want th cake and eat it too.
All I can say is …I welcome retirement hahahehehehehehe
You will have to buy the book called Dossier of a Handyman
carol | Apr 21, 2010
i had an employee tell once that he left his ID in his friends car and the car was no where to bbe found but, the next day he showed up with a gorgeous sun tan.
Weasel | Apr 21, 2010
“A train ran over both my legs”
Ron | Apr 21, 2010
I slipped and fell in dog crap, so I had to reshower and change clothes. Which made me miss my ride, so I had to coordinate other transportation. I could not call because when I fell my cell, which I keep on my belt was damaged.
Lianne | Apr 21, 2010
Traffic – i was going the wrong way on a one-way street, now i’m stuck…
dave | Apr 21, 2010
My company changed locations and I kept driving to the old location. Worked several times already…
anonimous | Apr 21, 2010
i always say that i was sick and since my uncle is a doctor i get a medical paper to show that its the truth. of course my work doesnt know that my uncle is a doctor
hippyjameZ | Apr 21, 2010
Call in Dead….(actually going to a Dead show)
Ron | Apr 21, 2010
A cat and her kittens were sleeping near the engine in my car, to keep warm starting it would have killed her and the 8 kittens…. Awww.
Debbie | Apr 21, 2010
A young man in customer service called in green. He said he had a reaction to the green jello he had wrestled in the night before.
Allen | Apr 21, 2010
I was helping my husband find the cheese
Sandy | Apr 21, 2010
I was supervisor at a small screw machine company and I had a guy call in and tols me he was going to be a little late because his wife wanted a little early morning loving. He did not show up until noon and we started at 6 a.m.
21756 | Apr 21, 2010
I should use that first one
Ali | Apr 21, 2010
A colleague of mine, Royce, was so tired everyday that one day he slept in the metro and came late 2 hours.
21756 | Apr 21, 2010
sorry i was in a coma at the hospital
Jason | Apr 21, 2010
I had to cut my grass… (they still havent let me live this one down yet)
JR | Apr 21, 2010
I had vision problems this morning. I just couldn’t see myself coming to work.
Sharon | Apr 21, 2010
Got stuck on the toilet
Michael | Apr 21, 2010
i decided that i would take a day off since it was my birthday. quite a reasonable excuse u know!!
brendan | Apr 21, 2010
My cat turned off my alarm.I use my phone alarm and my cat would get excited
when it sounded because he knew he would be fed soon. one day i left it on the floor and he jumped on it when it went off. This is a reason not an excuse because no one cares what time I start it just affects my income.
Kandi | Apr 21, 2010
My water main broke in the front yard. My fiance likes to kid with his boss and say he was attacked by ninja squirls.
Jay | Apr 21, 2010
Employee was late because she super glued her finger to her eyelid while attempting to affix false eyelashes.
Dave | Apr 21, 2010
I couldn’t make it to work cause I was welding and got flash burns in my eyes. And to prove it I put sand in my eyes and got really stoned, for the effect, and to make it a 3 day rest. I really haven’t welded in years.
JM60402 | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me “I hit a dog on the way to wrok and had to take him to a vet.” Where was the vets office? “I don’t remember”.
M | Apr 21, 2010
Work in law enforcement! 5 minutes late walking in door = memo to Sgt. “app. for being late due to alarm clock user error” (Never set it, we got a laugh and well, you know the rest!)
Gary | Apr 21, 2010
I was out of wheaties so I had to eat 9 bowls of that other cereal.
Alicia | Apr 21, 2010
“I left my shoes at home” (funny thing was he actually did)
Anne | Apr 21, 2010
1. I forgot to turn the dryer on and all my clothes were in there.
2. The electric went out and i couldn’t get the garage door open to get the car out.
William | Apr 21, 2010
I have one that ive used on school: My parents didnt wake me up; The power went out; and my cats knocked over my alarm and broke it. None but the power one has ever been tru though.
jim buller | Apr 21, 2010
I had to wait for the liquor store to open.
ANN | Apr 21, 2010
I WORKED FOR A COMPANY FOR 27 YEARS, DROVED 70 MILES TO WORKES EVERY DAY HAD TWO KIDS AND A DISABLED HUSBAND AT HOME. I WORKED 12 HRS DAYS, AND NIGHTS. NEVER LATE, ALWAYS 20 MIN. EARLY. MAYBE 10 TIMES IN 27 YEARS DUES TO ACCIDENT ON THE INTERSTATE. IT WOULD GET ME SEEING MY COWORKER COME IN LATE LIVING ONLY 5 TO 10 MILES AWAY WITH ONLY 1 CHILD OR NO CHILDREN AT HOME TO GET READY. SO I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.
SORRY.
Pam | Apr 21, 2010
A co-worker called in they had locked their keys in their convertible Tracker. I guess she couldn’t figure out how to unzip the back window.
Grace | Apr 21, 2010
My Boss called in late, he had a nose bleed during the night.
ANN | Apr 21, 2010
SORRY I FORGOT TO SAY I AM RETIRED NOW.
Chris Lafore | Apr 21, 2010
Once a guy called in to tell me he couldn’t come in because he was locked inside his house.
Dawn | Apr 21, 2010
I was drivivng to work and almost there and I noticed my cat in the back seat because I left my windows open and had to drive him all the way home.
Reuben James | Apr 21, 2010
When I was in college, I was late for a class, in front of the whole classroom the professor asked me why I was late, I replied that I have missed the bus to which he replied, why don’t you tell me that you had a flat tire instead? I told him I didn’t have a car, he explained to me that missing the bus was a weak excuse, that a flat tire was better since nobody in school knew if I had a car or not.
I haven’t forgotten that moment and that in a great part of my working life has kept me from being late anywhere including work.
staceee129 | Apr 21, 2010
i got lost and thats the truth
Jeff | Apr 21, 2010
They told me NOT to be there until 8:00! (Or After)
Andrew Horwdhin | Apr 21, 2010
I had a worker tell me that her husband was in the mood that morning.
Renee | Apr 21, 2010
I am seldom late, but one morning, after a night of not much sleep with my 7-week-old daughter, I was halfway to work when I realized that I did not drop my baby off at the daycare. Needless to say, I was 30 minutes late, but my boss and coworkers all understood. If I was chronically late all the time, they probably would not have been so nice about it.
Matt | Apr 21, 2010
I had a worker once tell me she would be late the next day, because it was her birthday and she knew she’d be too drunk to wake up on time.
Justin | Apr 21, 2010
I was caught-up reading silly articles online and lost track of time.
staceee129 | Apr 21, 2010
wtg linda i have found mine in the freezer
jeremy | Apr 21, 2010
Excuse for calling in sick:
The doctor says I am suffering from Anal Occulitis. I just can’t see my ass coming in today!!
mike | Apr 21, 2010
An employee was late because he had to go back home and get his teeth.
rodger | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee who called in sick 2 Mondays out of the month, the guys began calling him “Part time”. This went on about 4 months, soon he became known as “Unemployed”
Donna | Apr 21, 2010
I once had to call in when I was younger cause saying “I locked in my own house” Our house had a front double deadbolt and my bf took both keys and locked the door when leaving.
Shrave | Apr 21, 2010
I skimmed through this article and I had to comment: I really wish I didn’t waste my time skimming through this. Please, research something of substance and write about it. Then, I will read it.
Mike | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee call and say. “I can’t make it in today because my penis hurts”. I really had no response…………….this can also be verified.
Linda | Apr 21, 2010
I forgot I had a job………
Lynette | Apr 21, 2010
I ‘ve actually heard, “Everything is on God’s time so if I am here late it is because He wanted me here at this time”
SCOTT | Apr 21, 2010
after 20 years, had 1 guy with 2 excuses for why he was late, 1st one was today is my fishing day, what does that have to do with work, the next one was my dad dint do my laundry, 24 yr old man, thought they were the best i had heard in 20 years
Paula | Apr 21, 2010
My sister lived in Charleston, so this was a true excuse!! An alligator was on her front porch and she could not leave the house!
Debbie E | Apr 21, 2010
Years ago I had a young women who did filing for me. She was a little slow but worked hard and was so pleasant. She was a sort of round person. She was never late and one morning did not show up. A few hours later she called and told me she had been taken to the hospital with horrible stomach pains and had a baby. Never even knew she was pregnant. LOL
Dee | Apr 21, 2010
I fell into a very deep sleep on the commuter train, and when I finally woke up I was in another town.
valerie | Apr 21, 2010
Four people, one bathroom
John | Apr 21, 2010
My coffee maker wouldn’t turn on
bee mills | Apr 21, 2010
After a night of drinking with his friends, without me, I overheard my husband tell his employer, at 6:30 IN THE MORNING: l’m gonna be late, l just got a call from my wife and l have to go and pick her up, she just got into a fight at the bar.
Wally | Apr 21, 2010
I have held perfect attendance for 35 years now. That includes no sick days and i have been rewarded well by my boss for this. I am currently a manager, and i do fire a few people a year for attendance, the worst thing they can do is give me a stupid excuse!!! I am not a morning person!!! i am up at 5 am mon – friday, its not easy but anyone can do it!!! In this econmy, and its getting worse, i would think that employees would be on time, so cut with the crap and be ontime to work!! or else, YOUR FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jimmy | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee say that his 9 yr old son, got up in the middle of the night and turned the main circuit breaker on and off to reset the clocks.
Sacha | Apr 21, 2010
I’m still in high school so i will pretty much say anything for why i’m late, when in actuality i was probably just hanging out with friends before work.
excuse example: “my mom didn’t wake me up on time” or “school ran over time “
Patti | Apr 21, 2010
My electricity got shut off and I couldn’t get my garage door open to drive my car out.
Jordan | Apr 21, 2010
Terrible diarrhea…easy excuse – rarely a question asked. Who really wants to get details about that topic.
Diann | Apr 21, 2010
Good Morning: I had a co-worker who called in one time because her cat broke her tail in the glass door and she had to stay home and take her to the bathroom. Another time she called in and said she had an opposum in her tree and she was waiting for it to come down so her dogs wouldn’t get it. We tried to tell her that they were nocturnal and wouldn’t come down till night but she didn’t want to “chance it”. She also called in because her dog chewed on her pool liner (?). Always good for a laugh. We have always threatened to write a book of her excuses
Jan | Apr 21, 2010
The best one I heard was- I couldn’t get out of my drive way because beavers built a dam across it.
louis | Apr 21, 2010
I got pulled over by the police for speeding and was only issued a warning…
Judy | Apr 21, 2010
Best excuse I’ve heard: I thought I was in labor.
Vicki | Apr 21, 2010
A teenage employee called and said he couldn’t come into work because he was being held at gun point!
Valerie | Apr 21, 2010
The traffic light must have been broken because it would not turn green. Nobody would go through the red light so we all just sat there and waited.
SHARON | Apr 21, 2010
I was almost late to work one morning because I had an end of a Q-Tip stuck in my ear and ended up in a hospital emergancy room. I made it to work with 2 minutes to spare. I really didn’t want to have tell my boss what happened.
(Remember: proper use of a Q-Tip is around the outside of your ear, not inside.)
Shari | Apr 21, 2010
A co-worker called in 30 minutes after work had started with, “I’m behind a funeral procession on the freeway”. Another one said, “I can’t poop in a public bathroom”.
Valerie | Apr 21, 2010
I was 24 yrs. old and working as a waitress. I was scheduled to start working at 11AM, but my b/f, who was deployed overseas (Army) had come back early that morning. I called my Mgr. at 11:15am and told him I was having the best sex I had ever had in my life and didn’t expect to be in for at least a couple hours! How’s that for blunt honesty?! He laughed and said, “Thatta’ girl! Take the day off, I’ll cover for you.”
matt | Apr 21, 2010
a friend of mines had many great excuses for being late includung: i had to wait for geese in the road, an alien landed in front of me on my way in. and i had to wait for a frieghter to cross the street.
Sally | Apr 21, 2010
My co worker is so ” i can break the rule if I want to” type of a person she doesn’t even give an excuse for being late she just says Good Morning like she is on time. Everyone else has been at their desk for 20 min. She is late for everything work (4 days a week) meetings, misses flights at the airport. But it is never a big deal and everyone should understand that she just needed a few more minutes.
Bill | Apr 21, 2010
I had a worker who was always 15 minutes late. I docked his pay and suggested he set his clock ahead 15 minutes. He was on time after that, doing as I had suggested.
danny | Apr 21, 2010
I hope you meant that you could corroborate the ghost story, not that you were involved in its creation through collaboration? Thanks for the laugh!
eric | Apr 21, 2010
couldn’t sleep last night my bed was too lumpy!
lyn | Apr 21, 2010
I had to feed my bird, my parakeet had a hernia operation and can’t lift anything heavy.
Roberta | Apr 21, 2010
A co-worker once called in and said he was locked IN his apartment. Apparently the lock jammed and he was unable to get out until his landlord came and disassembled the door. As he rarely called in and was generally truthful, the boss believed him. So did everyone else, you’d have to know him!
Angie | Apr 21, 2010
I had a parkinsons attack
Robin Bullard | Apr 21, 2010
I woke up with the cat licking my face and the entire contents of my nightstand on the floor.
Liz | Apr 21, 2010
One of my fellow emplyees came up with this excuse for being late. “I locked my keys out side the car, i couldnt reach them. Even with the window down.”
JG | Apr 21, 2010
There was a power outage, and my alarm clock didn’t go off.
Liz | Apr 21, 2010
Actually, my aunt and uncle’s dog DID eat a friend’s cell phone – for real.
Her name was Ida Mae and she was a huge bloodhound who pretty much ate anything…linoleum, furniture, you name it. Her jaws were so strong she would puncture holes in tuna cans and suck out the tuna. A friend was visiting and the dog nipped the phone off the counter and crunched it up. They found some of the chewed up gears and such on the floor. They rushed her to the vet and apologized to their friend, who they offered to pay for a new cell phone. The vet said fortunately the pieces were small enough and her digestive tract, being a big dog, was so large that it should pass right through with no problems.
Meantime, they waited a few days and managed to ” retrieve” the memory card for the cell phone from the other end, to put it delicately. They sterilized it, gave it back to the friend with her new phone, she popped the card in and it worked just fine. Truth is definitely stranger than fiction….
Debra | Apr 21, 2010
I had two flat tires and only one spare. This excuse was used by a friend of mine when she was over 4 FOUR hours late for work!!!
Joe | Apr 21, 2010
I was in mexico
Kimberly from Iowa | Apr 21, 2010
That’s not funny, my puppy really did chew up my cellphone and it would not work ,I had to turn it it as damaged, go get a loaner phone and wait 4 days to get a new phone. So yes it can happen, and I have an LG BLISS, so when he chewed the screen it ruined the phone, thank god for memory cards or I would have lost everything on it .Oh and yes I have pictures of the phone and did take it in to Us Cellular to prove it,teeth marks and all…lol
Taylor Canne | Apr 21, 2010
I was stuck behind a school bus carrying retarted children. That one akways works.
stephanie | Apr 21, 2010
This was the best that I have heard.. A girl that I work with has that birth control ring well she had a three month supply of them and she called in saying that her cat ate her birth control….
Cathy Carratura | Apr 21, 2010
Actually my dog did chew up my cell phone and I wasn’t at work but ready to use the phone that morning, I lost all my info on the phone and I was so upset that he chewed it. He took the cover off the batter, chewed the battery where there is a mark on the corner from his teeth, the bottom where it plugs in was completely destroyed and the hinges where the phone flips open and they were chewed. So in real life it does happen. I laughed when I saw it for a lame excuse because it reminded of me.
Casey Melton | Apr 21, 2010
A co-worker called in… “I’m in Cuba, and am not going to be able to make it in today”.
Rini | Apr 21, 2010
I have had an employee tell me that he had a dream there was buried treasure in his backyard and he was late because he had to dig..
Katherine | Apr 21, 2010
for a wild-life photographer: a polar bear stole my tripod! (see MSNBC’s Animal Tracks for 4/21/10)
Amy | Apr 21, 2010
My boyfriend and I woke up one morning for work and the car was stolen! It was not an excuse…. but an actual reason.
Jean Marie | Apr 21, 2010
My husband had his own business and this was the best excuse! The employee was late because he didn’t know the phone number to call – even though he wore a shirt everyday that had the phone number on it!
Hadiyah | Apr 21, 2010
The best excuse I have ever heard was,”I am late to work today because I got stuck in the toilet. My boyfriend left the seat up.” The girl was 45 minutes late to work
nicesaying123 | Apr 21, 2010
I couldn’t find my car keys ,My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online via~ A g e g a p s in g l e s~ .~ c o m ~a nice place for younger women seeking older men, or older women seeking younger men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends
Sheila | Apr 21, 2010
I’m a manager and the worst that I’ve heard…..”My cat unplugged my alarm clock!!!”
Carla | Apr 21, 2010
I had a co-worker that came in late and said he took a sleeping pill and didn’t realize it would make him so drowsy! He was the king of excuses for being late!
Adrian | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee telll me that it was “against his religion to come in to work early” and that “God would be angry at him.” Of course, we had to let him go go after a couple of tardies.
Cristy | Apr 21, 2010
Best one I have ever heard: My neighbor’s cow was having difficulty giving birth to her calf. I assisted with the birth and had to go home to shower afterward.
Brian | Apr 21, 2010
I’ve heard the excuse for being late: “Sorry, I was busy pleasuring my wife. Since I don’t get the opportunity often, I decided to act on it while it was available to me”
Vanessa | Apr 21, 2010
Ok.. same guy.. all these excuses.
I was waiting for a phone call. All he has is a cell phone.
My cordless razor died halfway through shaving.. need to wait for it to recharged.
My dog ate a box of bullets.
I couldnt get my contact lens in.
Im sure I can think of more.
d | Apr 21, 2010
My coworker comes up with the most crazy stories about why shes late! here is come examples:
-My dog turned off my alarm
-My dog locked my keys in my car
-I had volleyball
-I had to take my car to the shop (which is okay… but not once a week)
Toby Radloff | Apr 21, 2010
Probably the weirdest excuse for my being late for work was, my driver’s license was stolen from my wallet while I was sleeping. This was true; I once had a roommate, somebody I knew for almost 20 years at the time…I knew him since he was a teenager, and I used to do typing for his father. Also him and his father used to attend my church, so I felt that I could trust him. When I noticed the license missing, I was angry…he was obviously the only suspect, since I never take my license out of my wallet, and the only other people in the house were him and my grandmother. I drive a van for a living, and I cannot be driving a motor vehicle without my license in my possession…so I called in late, staying home until my roommate came home from one of his drinking binges. My roommate has had problems with drifting from job to job and living arrangement to living arrangement since he was 18; prior to that he has had problems with school and juvenile authorities, mainly truancy, shoplifting, and underage drinking and drug use. He started smoking cigarettes at age 13, and started drinking shortly afterward. He also supposedly fathered a child when he was 14…the mother was 14 as well. He ended up spending a few years in various juvenile detention and mental health institutions when he was a teen. His drinking made it difficult for him to find and keep employment, so he did freelance “jack-of-all-trades” work, mainly painting. In January, 1997, he needed a place to stay; I offered to take him in on condition that he paint my house this summer, and that he stay away from alcohol and find a job. The house painting, which should have taken three weeks, took three months due to his laziness and drinking. He did get a job at a supermarket, thanks to a friend of his who was a manager. He got fired a month later due to his coming to work drunk. The moment I confronted him about my driver’s license, I kicked him out of my house. He used the license as a phony ID, so he can see a doctor…he also stole my health insurance card. This angered me even more, since if his medical problems showed up on my medical record, it would affect my health. Needless to say, I have had nothing to do with this guy ever since.
My usual excuses for being late for work is due to public transportation delays due to weather or bus/rapid transit breakdowns.
Dale M | Apr 21, 2010
We had an employee who was late to work and called in to say he would be late because he was locked in his apartment and could not get out. Since he didn’t own a phone his boss asked him how it was he was able to call, the employee said he’d climbed out a window and gone to a coin phone to call the office, but he had to hurry back to the apartment so he would be there when the maintenance man came to let him out. His employment was terminated the next day.
Sean Lee | Apr 21, 2010
I had a q-tip break off in my ear and I needed 3 mirrors and a pair of tweezers to get it out.
Ada | Apr 21, 2010
I have a few reasons for running late. 1) someone was blocking my driveway. 2) there was construction on the road that I was not aware of. 3) my daughter missed the bus and I had to bring her to school. 4) no excuse I am just running late this morning.
Lilah | Apr 21, 2010
My friend used: A box truck parked behind me at my condo and I was blocked in. Looked all over but couldn’t find the driver.
Thomas Hooker | Apr 21, 2010
Here’s a tip. Don’t use excuses. If you have a valid reason, say it. If you don’t, just tell him the truth, that you overslept, got distracted or whatever. Tell him to dock the pay. Unless your just hires out to other people (like a service job), and being on time is the difference between business and no business (in which case try to quit, cause he’s gonna be a crab if you’re even five minutes late, even if you’re always waiting for him about 30 min), the primary grip with you being late is trying to claim time that you weren’t around for, accepting a smaller punishment often helps take the pressure off (don’t make a habit of it, because the boss can definitely save money on you, cutting costs by every day that you’re late).
I had a boss who I got to work early for (not cause I liked him, som much as because I more like wanted to get the job out of the way), and I was sick of hearing his excuses when he was late, then watched the double standard the one time we had to fix our car up. I tried to quit or get fired, but the guy liked me (for being super-punctual I guess), so I had to really tell him flatly, this is my last day. And he still kept roping me in stuff, trying to call me back, then conveniently forgetting I’d quit, so I had to say no to that too.
Thomas L | Apr 21, 2010
Sorry boss, I was late for work today because I ran out of toilet paper…
Kirby | Apr 21, 2010
I woke up with anal glaucoma, therefore I cannot see my ass going into work today.
Shayde | Apr 21, 2010
My car door really did fall off once, but it happened when I was leaving work, so I wasn’t late. That being said I do have a tendency to be late, not just to work but to everything. My only excuse is that I get caught up in what I am doing and lose track of time.
Christina | Apr 21, 2010
This is true – my dog ate an ant hill and came in covered with ants.
Katie | Apr 21, 2010
An employee told me that the gas in her car was frozen. We live in North Carolina.
Rebecca Underwood | Apr 21, 2010
My mom was always was late always ….We always told her she would be late to her own funeral ,well that did’nt happen she made it on time Jan 18,2010 God rest her soul…Her favorite excuse was” I’m having car trouble” ,the boss would say what kind of car trouble are u having? She would say”I’m having trouble getting in the car” lol
Dave | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me he couldn’t come in because his “Step Dog died”.
jank_tanker | Apr 21, 2010
I as jerking off but no matter how hard I tried I simply could not get myself off.
Finally, I had to lube up and watch porn! True Story.
Caryn | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me she had to pick up a dead body at the airport.
Wild Bill | Apr 21, 2010
My car ran out of gas.
Bob | Apr 21, 2010
My wife has been trying to get pregnant for 3 months and her temp was just right so I thought I should be there.
Leslie | Apr 21, 2010
I actually thought it was Saturday… then I looked outside and saw that all the cars where gone!
Melissa | Apr 21, 2010
I once told a boss that my dog had died but we brought it back from the dead using the pet cemetery. Freaked her out…she didn’t question me after that…lol…silly superstitious people!
nicesaying123 | Apr 21, 2010
my alarm broken down ,lol my friends told me If you are looking for a wealthy lifestyle or looking for a businness partner, there is a nice place for us to meet rich and famous people @ M e e t m i l l i o n a i r e ~.~ c o m ,good luck!!
Lily | Apr 21, 2010
My alarm was on vibrate. (uses cell phone for alarm clock)
Devin | Apr 21, 2010
On a Friday being an hour late… “Its Saturday right? Why are all you guys here, I figured I’d get some extra work in but it seems everyone else beat me to it.. and earlier as well, what the heck!”
Jean | Apr 21, 2010
“A herd of sheep was crossing the road (with their shepard). I couldn’t move until they were past.” And by the way, this really did happen. It happened to me while stationed in Germany. The Kaserne (housing area) only had two ways in or out and the gates to one were locked. My boss believed me because #1 he had lived in Germany for many years and had seen such things and #2 the sheep, while crossing, did their potty business, some of the evidence was still in my car tires. Yuck.
J.D. | Apr 21, 2010
I’ll be to work as soon as I can find my car! (I actually had an employee call me once and tell me this!)
jon | Apr 21, 2010
I woke up next to my spose and she was naked
Judy | Apr 21, 2010
My garage door broke, i could’nt get my car out.
Hermi | Apr 21, 2010
I am not that late …
randy | Apr 21, 2010
My wife and I decided to have a child and I wanted to be there for the conception.
ladyofargonne | Apr 21, 2010
Anyone who thinks the dog ate my cell phone is far fetched has never owned a black Lab.
KC | Apr 21, 2010
One employee told me….I had a spider bite gone bad.
deb | Apr 21, 2010
A jokester friend of mine was late because he hit a kid on the way to work on April Fools Day. He was fired until the owner heard about it on the news. The kid wasn’t hurt too bad.
Penny | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee that did not show up for work one Monday morning. The next day he came in and told us that he thought Monday was really Sunday. I had to laugh.
Dave | Apr 21, 2010
‘My dog ate a chicken bone’ – one of my favourites…
Jennifer | Apr 21, 2010
One of my guys called one morning to say he would be late because he’d spent the night with a woman and she’d already left for work, setting the alarm on her house, and he didn’t know the code to turn it off.
Another one of my guys has to be the only member of his family left, because he continually called in that an aunt, uncle, cousin, etc. had died. The unusual part of it was that he always said they died at his mother’s house. (Not sure if they have a built in early warning system that gives them time to get to her house before they die or if she’s killing themoff one by one when they come to visit.)
pmk | Apr 21, 2010
This wasn’t an excuse, it really happened. The car key for my rental car was inoperable.
Becky | Apr 21, 2010
I got locked INSIDE my house. It REALLY happened to me last week! Really!!
Derek Fazher | Apr 21, 2010
I can relate to the dreamt I was at wrok, though it was more like dreamt I was getting to school on time.
Dave | Apr 21, 2010
I had a young lady who worked for me that was chronically late. Her best excuse was the morning her car was surrounded by cows that escaped from a nearby farm and they wouldn’t let her get to her car.
Melissa | Apr 21, 2010
I forgot it was my day to drive the carpool.
Emily | Apr 21, 2010
I wet my pant and cried too much.
sonia | Apr 21, 2010
A girl I worked with called off one day because a heard of Zebras was blocking the road. BTW I don’t live in Africa. I live in SW Pennsylvania.
Tracy | Apr 21, 2010
My contacts were frozen to my eyes.
Sarah | Apr 21, 2010
I Left my shoes at home and had to go back for them when I was half way to work. True story. I told my boss – she just laughed.
Paul Stanton | Apr 21, 2010
Last fall, the day just after the time change, I told my boss that I was late because I forgot to change my clock. I worried for weeks that he might figure out that if I had forgotten to move my clock back, that I should have been an hour EARLY for work insteadd of an hour late!
Michelle | Apr 21, 2010
The Dog ate my teeth.
DKN | Apr 21, 2010
“I rode my skateboard through the car wash and got soap in my eyes!”
Kathy | Apr 21, 2010
Three days ago I was petting a horse standing next to an electric fence and now I am tingling all over.
Also (another goodie) : My husband was just in a car accident and was thrown 50 feet (this was for a late arrival, not an absence)
Vickie | Apr 21, 2010
The funniest excuse I’ve heard is that there was a cow in the road. She actually took a picture on her cell phone because she just knew noone would believe her.
Dean | Apr 21, 2010
“Cheer-leading practice ran late.” The challenges of hiring teenagers for retail work . . .
mike | Apr 21, 2010
WIFE WANTED SEX
Lori | Apr 21, 2010
My male a female dogs were “hooked up” and I couldn’t crate them until they were finished.
Pax | Apr 21, 2010
It all depends… If you work at the store or on an assembly line, or any other job that a person needs to interact with customers then being on time is very important.
For a lot of design, engineering, creative work places being at a given place at a given time is secondary to performance and quality – and lack of sleep can create serious performance issues or catastrophic design flaws…
In my line of work long hours at the office are more important than being somewhere at 8AM… Also, individual talent is far more important than punctuality (talent comes first, then you can be late… LOL…). Besides I met a whole range of people – some work best starting at 7AM, other are useless until 9:30 or 10:00AM… Not everyone was born for the 1st shift
Joe | Apr 21, 2010
I got lost on my way to work
Marcus | Apr 21, 2010
I clogged the toilet during my morning dump so I ad to fix it before I came to school.(I’m just a senior in highschool, this actually worked!)
Nick | Apr 21, 2010
People who work together on a project collaborate (share their labor); people who support your testimony as a witness corroborate (strengthen by confirming)
Derek Zamora | Apr 21, 2010
I found an injured bird and had to take it to the vet.
Heather | Apr 21, 2010
My dog was stuck behind my washing machine and I couldn’t get her out.
Karen | Apr 21, 2010
One of our employees claimed a tornado hit her house but another employee who lived close to her denied there was any visible damage to the late employee’s house. When confronted she angrily stated the tornado only hit the BACK part of her house and was actually angry that we had questioned her about it!! This actually happened.
James W | Apr 21, 2010
I was in the middle of a heated email argument with my wife (who had moved out), and I did not dare terminate it or she would think that she had won.
jen | Apr 21, 2010
We were already understffed for the following day in our Nursing dept and everyone knew that yet an employee still didnt show up and when we were finally able to get ahold of them 4 hours after the shift started they said “I didnt know I was scheduled to work today.” They got suspended.
Jacob | Apr 21, 2010
I seriously doubt that the person who invented the 9 to 5 shift was a morning person, just a lazy person. By the time the 9 to 5 people show up late for work, I’ve already been at work for 3 hours. By the way, I also get off work 3 hours earlier than the 9 to 5 people too.
Sue | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me he was late because “the battery fell out of my car.”
Ann | Apr 21, 2010
All of my tires went flat and I had to go blow them up.
Darlene | Apr 21, 2010
They forgot to get off at the bus stop, They got lost on the way to work, They couldn’t find shoes that matched.
Rebecca Morrison | Apr 21, 2010
I had one of my lifeguards call me at home at 4:15am to tell me that she would not be able to open the pool at 5am because her dog ate her bathing suit.
Michael | Apr 21, 2010
A sloth was in my way, or else I would have made it on time.
Chris | Apr 21, 2010
This is what I told a manager once on why I was late – I was deciding whether or not to quit this job. Where should I pick up my last paycheck?
Diane | Apr 21, 2010
“My daughter had an abortion and she was still bleeding.”
Phil | Apr 21, 2010
The voices in my head told me to clean all of my guns. Is that okay ?
MARIA | Apr 21, 2010
As a recruiter, the most hated excuses I constantly hear is “I ran out of gas”… “I got lost”…
PartyDave | Apr 21, 2010
I left the window open and it rained on my alarm clock rendering is disfunctional. I live in Arizona.
Jessica | Apr 21, 2010
I had 2 flat tires one morning. As you all know, a car only holds 1 spare. I had to wait for my husband to get home and drive me to work.
Kristi | Apr 21, 2010
The highway was closed until the elephants were corralled to their trailer. The circus was in town and there was a car accident with the elephant trailer. (Actual occurance of this event was in the mid 1980′s on I-75 North of Dallas.
kathy | Apr 21, 2010
I actually DID have my car door fall off one time…was more than late as I couldn’t exactly drive the vehicle w/o a door. Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.
Edward | Apr 21, 2010
We were trying to get pregnant AND I HAD to be there!
Edward | Apr 21, 2010
My roomates boots were in the freezer
Jennifer | Apr 21, 2010
True story. My garage door was frozen shut & I couldn’t get my car out. A low spot under the door collected at least 2″ of water. A quick, hard freezer over night (in WI) turned the water to ice & the bottom of the door was frozen in it. It took salt & a pick & about an hour to break the door free.
GARY | Apr 21, 2010
I WAS HERE EARLY . THE PLACE WAS STILL CLOSED SO I WENT BACK HOME.
Chris | Apr 21, 2010
This is true: I was on vacation in Hawaii upon returning I set 5 alarms between my alarm clock radio and my cell phone, but did not hear one alarm, then my my manager called “Where are you? Do you plan on coming in to work today?”, I said in my mind OH F*!!! But I answered very sleepily “Hello? Oh yes I am, ok, yes, yes.” Well then the race was on to get to work!
Tommy | Apr 21, 2010
I’ve got anal glacoma. I can’t see my butt going to work
Dennis | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me he was late because he rolled out of bed during the night and landed on the floor between the bed and wall so when his girlfriend left for work she thought he had already gone.
Thomas Gate | Apr 21, 2010
I hit the car because im a woman. I shouldve been making a sandwich in the kitchen.
tina | Apr 21, 2010
i got stop by a train.
Annie | Apr 21, 2010
That is a really lame excuse
tina | Apr 21, 2010
my car would not start.
asma | Apr 21, 2010
i got locked in the bathroom, hehehehehehe
Lori | Apr 21, 2010
My male a female dogs were “hooked up” and I couldn’t crate them until they were finished.
Cathy | Apr 21, 2010
The FBI found my brother, and I have to take my mother to Baltimore to see him.
Glen Austin | Apr 21, 2010
One worker said he was late because he had to get his cows in out of the rain. The same individual later said he had to butcher his neighbor’s two deer before the meat spoiled. The neighbor could not do it himself because he had to go to work.
Both statements were in writing and brought forth a bit of laughter later when entered into evidence in his unemployment hearing.
Tao Mokoda | Apr 21, 2010
This was not an excuse, but a REAL reason!
When I was in the military, living in a barracks, I was late to work one morning because a bird flew into my window. I felt that if I hadn’t gotten it out, it would have either pooped all over the place or panicked and trashed my room…or both.
However, my supervisor said, “You know what? That’s just so outlandishly original that I’m going to believe you.”
anamae | Apr 21, 2010
One of my co-workers is ALWAYS late and calls out. One time she was 1/2 a day late because “her kid lost his school shoe at the park”. Ummm..you only have one pair of shoes for your kid? Okay she’s a single mom so maybe she doesn’t have a lot, but still go to walmart and get him shoes. They open early. And when did he lose it? You mean to tell me he lost it the night before and you didn’t know and didn’t do anything about. It was really ridiculous. And she showed up mid day.
tiger61378 | Apr 21, 2010
We have one “manager” who has used the same excuse so many times we can recite it…
“My hot water heater blew up, flooding my basement. Oh, and my driveway is frozen, so my car can’t get out.”
Yeah…both at once, quite commonly, and all winter long!
Wes Hilligoss | Apr 21, 2010
I have 120 employees and keep a book called Outrageous Excuses. Here a only o few.
1. My dog ate my teeth.
Employee fell in yard and hit my head. dog work me up in the morning.
Josh | Apr 21, 2010
I had a watermelon explode in my kitchen one morning. Try explaining that to your boss.
w | Apr 21, 2010
My antidepression meds. are not working!
Dave | Apr 21, 2010
Cannot come in today because,” I got blisters from my new socks”!
Debbie | Apr 21, 2010
I was late for work one time because there were 3 skunks in front of my garage door and I couldn’t…. or should I say, wouldn’t open the door and scare them!
That’s the truth but I got the good old…. ohhhh, uh huh suuuuuuuuure! when I called in to say I was going to be late!
Danielle | Apr 21, 2010
One of my employees said they got too overheated in the shower. The same employee said her bike was stolen (she rode it to work), but she then remembered she had parked it somewhere else. And the same employee said she was hit by a bicyclist while walking to work.
Dana E | Apr 21, 2010
At a previous job I worked with a woman who was rather late. I called to check on her and she didn’t say she would come in late, but rather called in sick because she locked herself IN the house and couldn’t find her keys. She claimed to have one of those deadbolts that requires a key on both sides. I was ticked cuz I hadn’t thought of it first. LOL!
Anita | Apr 21, 2010
We had an employee who told us that his cat got into a fight with his pet alligator.
SScottyy | Apr 21, 2010
Best excuse ever to use… “I had diarrhea” who is going to doubt you?
Chellie LaRocque | Apr 21, 2010
I am NEVER late for work—its an insult to my own character to be late, for anything!! My husband is the same way!!
JMGUYSF | Apr 21, 2010
The power went out in my neighborhood so my alarm clock didn’t go off therefore, I lost track of time.
Jason | Apr 21, 2010
I told my manager one time that I was having breakfast with his wife and thats why I was late. Needless to say, I was fired two days later. But the look on his face when he asked why I was late was priceless when he heard my response. If you like your job I dont suggest saying that. Fortunately for me, I didnt like my job and had another one lined up
WILLIE | Apr 21, 2010
I decided I wasn’t going to go in, so I called and told them the truth. I was fired, but I had another job lined up already that is why I was honest.
J | Apr 21, 2010
i was fucking all morning
Gottolaugh | Apr 21, 2010
Someone broke into my sisters apartment yesterday and took all her underwear, So I had to go over this morning to check out her apartment
Kenny | Apr 21, 2010
I hate to admit this, but the dog swollowing the cell phone could happen. My puppy is only 5 months old and she will try to eat anything. Linda, I can totally see the keys in the fridge. I am a firefighter and thats a common joke at the firehouse, someone is always finding there car keys in a cup of frozen water in the freezer when there trying to go home at the end of the shift.
Kay | Apr 21, 2010
One of my co-workers couldn’t match her shoes to her outfit. ANother time she over slept. She had to be at work at 1:00 p.m.
Ali Rose | Apr 21, 2010
My best excuse and it was true that both the dog and cat decided they needed better vision. The cat literally chewed up my new $435 glasses frames to the point they were not even wearable or repairable and the puppy decided he wanted “inner vision” and literally ate my contact lenses, case and all……
Funny thing was, they were up on a table I assumed they could not reach. Kitty figured if he was gonna get into mischief he may as well have a sidekick.
The boss laughed about it..
Christine | Apr 21, 2010
We’ve had several of our employee’s call to tell us their car had been stolen. One worker called at 9pm and said she couldnt make it to her 10pm shift because her pipes had frozen and she had to get them fixed immediately. Another hit her head on the way out, it hurt so bad she took pain pills and sat down for a bit, then woke up a few hours later (after her shift).
barry | Apr 21, 2010
employee said his canary got out of its cage and spent the night perched on the button of his alarm clock preventing the clock alarm from going off.
Allison | Apr 21, 2010
“I got locked in my apartment…”
Believe it or not, I got locked in my 6th floor apartment once. The mechanism in the deadbolt broke, and I couldn’t open it. My boss told me that was the most creative excuse he had ever heard!
anonymous | Apr 21, 2010
I live on a farm, and yes I have been late to work because the cows/ and or horse got loose. However my boss also lives on a farm, and understands completely.
June | Apr 21, 2010
There is a time warp between my house and here(job)
Melissa | Apr 21, 2010
I was late once because I hopped off the bus to help a blind lady across the street. She was confused by construction barricades on the sidewalk, and nobody was stopping to help her, even those walking past her! Since I had to wait for the next bus, I was late. My boss did not believe my story, and I lost my job.
Gary | Apr 21, 2010
My car battery was stollen and it took 30 minutes to steal another one.
Lou | Apr 21, 2010
I had to wash my dog.
Joji Silr | Apr 21, 2010
Just before going to work, I was feeding my fishes. I had a can of fish flakes and my car keys(the new kind, just a box)in the same hand. As I was shaking the meal, I accidentally dropped the ignition key into the fish tank. Well, my fishes are miniature piranha, so I can’t just stick my had in there and get it out. It took time to fish it out of there with a coat hanger, because there is nothing to hook, that a coat hanger would fit.
Bryant | Apr 21, 2010
My garage door would not open so I couldn’t get my car out & no taxi’s come to where I live.
Tom Kelly | Apr 21, 2010
A lady at work kept coming in late. When the boss questioned her, she said her alarm clock wasn’t plugged all the way into the wall, so it kept running slow.
Caraline | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me that she was late because the Starbucks she normally goes to was out of skim milk, so she had to go a few more blocks down to find one that had skim left for her latte.
mae | Apr 21, 2010
i left the key of the office.
Papoo | Apr 21, 2010
While working security I had an employee state he was going to be late because “my wife is going to be impregnated and I want to be there when it happens”
Janice | Apr 21, 2010
New Employee: I drove to my old job first, then remembered I didn’t work there so then I drove here.
Chelsea | Apr 21, 2010
My sister is a manager at a Distribution warehouse. She says a female associate told her she could not make it in to work that day because she had prostate cancer. My sister asked her if she even knew what a prostate was. The associate said no. My sister informed her it was an organ that only males had. The associate suddenly went into remission. Imagine that.
Ellen | Apr 21, 2010
I had nightmares all night and couldn’t get up this morning.
Janice | Apr 21, 2010
I drove to our old office and then remembered we’d moved last week. Good thing the old office is close to the new one.
Donna Hampton | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee call in to tell me she couldn’t afford to come to work. I had another say she couldn’t come in because her equalibrium was off. This same person also called in and said she couldn’t make it because she forgot to put her mascara on.
tammy | Apr 21, 2010
I had 2 employees that had gone to Canada the night before, then called and told me that the border gaurds would not allow them back into the country; they had to sober up first.
Stacie | Apr 21, 2010
Explosive diarrhea. They can’t really dispute it, and no one really wants details anyway.
Helen | Apr 21, 2010
I once woke to find a wet baby possum in my toilet, had to call my son in law to get it out, and STILL made it to work on time!!! I took pix of the little sucker too!!! being an office manager, I got lots of excuses for being late, and always told everbody that they had to top the possum for it to be acceptable…people were late ONCE, but seldom twice!!!
Carol | Apr 21, 2010
In the city of Houston, one of my nursing staff claimed “there was a herd of goats crossing the highway!!!!!
James | Apr 21, 2010
I ate some super hot chili and I have been on the crapper all morning.
Used that one before and IT WORKED!
Rocky | Apr 21, 2010
A guy I worked with called in once to say that he was locked IN his house.
Lauren | Apr 21, 2010
hey, honestly i was late to work one time cause my car door REALLY did fall off. The wind blew it and bent it and then the cause of it being slammed so many times trying to get it to actually shut broke the hinges right off. i had to bungi cord the doors together to drive and get it fixed.
debbie | Apr 21, 2010
I will be a few minutes late because there is a car behind mine. I had to scrape frost off my windshiled; nobody else had this problem.
Ernie Barett | Apr 21, 2010
My dentist’s assistant told me yesterday that she was late because they turned on the sprinklers at her apartment and her dog wouldn’t go to the bathroom on the wet ground.
Rena | Apr 21, 2010
Many years ago I was in an very stressful job situation and one morning – I was supposed to be in an 8am meeting- I got up, got dressed, got on to the metro, walked into my office when the phone was ringing. I answered – it was one of my coworkers wanting to know where I was, It was 8:15 am and I was to be in that meeting but yet I was still at home in my bed answering my phone.
It was all a dream, and yes I was late. Just wanted to share that strange things can really happen. It only happened once to me though.
Denise | Apr 21, 2010
We had an employee call into the office to say she couldn’t go to work because half of her tracks were not in and she needed to get her “hair did”.
Bill | Apr 21, 2010
#1 My tires froze to the parking lot.
#2 I,m sick and wont be in for another week (call was from India. )
Maranda Seamster | Apr 21, 2010
I am snowed in and I cant get the car out.
Sheila | Apr 21, 2010
The curtains were closed, it was still dark in the room. Thought it was still night!
Robert | Apr 21, 2010
I had a supervisor call in sick stating he had a problem with his eyes.
“He just couldn’t see coming to work,” that day. He was asked to step down upon his return to work.
Paul | Apr 21, 2010
Wow, I can only assume that either msn is getting desperate for articles…or the attempt at dumbing down of our society has actually worked.
Michele | Apr 21, 2010
We had a guy who more than twice was unable to remember where he’d left
his car the night before.
IVY | Apr 21, 2010
My wife is having a baby! He used this excuse 4 times in 1 year.
My grandmother died. He used this excuse 10 times.
The drawbridge was stuck. We had not had an operating drawbridge, since the new 4 lane permanent bridge had been built several years before.
Amanda Alford | Apr 21, 2010
My daughter didn’t wake me up.
Gina | Apr 21, 2010
I was ice skating before work [at 5:00 am!] and I fell and broke my wrist
weston wright | Apr 21, 2010
i left my homework in the car but i sold the car yesterday
Barbara | Apr 21, 2010
I am a morning person. I get up every morning or most work morning at 5 AM, the latest 5:30 AM, but I don’t haveto be work until 8. But I have three right now four dogs to let out for potty, and feed. I like to turn on the TV and catch up on the latest from the night before or early morning. I like to sit down and have coffee or hot tea, even something cold to drink. I carry my breakfast and lunch most days, because I can’t afford to buy them but on ocassion. I do not like to rush getting ready. I usually in the shower between 6 and 6:15 and leave for work around 7:00 to 7:15. I don’t want to start my day off with stress. I’m also in bed most nights even weekends by 9 or a little after, sometimes 10. Life is already so hectic and stressed, that I don’t want the added stress. I’m about 15 to 20 minutes from work driving. It just takes some training and discipline to make you life less stressed. And I like my “me time”.
Bev | Apr 21, 2010
A co-worker said she was late because her car had a flat tire and her husband has Dyslexia and didn’t know which way to turn the lug wrench.
Annie | Apr 21, 2010
I worked with a “professional” who didn’t last long in my office. Some of her excuses were:
-stepsister in jail
-fell asleep at lunchtime and didn’t return for a day and a half
-waiting for the cable guy
-there was a crime scene in her parking lot and she couldn’t leave
-going to the DMV twice
-pulled a butt muscle
-had the swine flu
-burnt her hand
-worst female problems of her life
-pulled her back “out”
-went to the president’s inaugeration
Sadly, this is only a small representation of her excuses. She only lasted 18 months and who knows why they kept her that long.
Kate | Apr 21, 2010
My kid throw my keys away in the dumpster and this morning before I knew it, the trash truck emptied our dumpster.
Rhetta | Apr 21, 2010
My ex husband was late for work one morning because he couldn’t find his keys. We finally found them in the front door the 2nd time they were in the car ignition. That was when we realized he had been walking in his sleep.
David | Apr 21, 2010
“I was challenged to a duel. I won, but I had to get my opponent to the hospital.”
Ceilidh McIlquham | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee that called in sick as his cat was sick. Lame
Rick | Apr 21, 2010
Sorry I thought it was the weekend, my internal clock is all screwed up since I got married
Lisa | Apr 21, 2010
I had a hangover and it made me late
Michael Jackson | Apr 21, 2010
Why Linda? WHY!!! Why double post and waste our time?!
Brooke | Apr 21, 2010
“There was a turtle in the road, and i had to help it cross the street..”
Max | Apr 21, 2010
I got a speeding ticket on my way to work because my speed thermometer is broke.
Scott | Apr 21, 2010
I had my Spa guy out to look at my leaking spa
Tom | Apr 21, 2010
I will never, ever, call in sick if I am not ill. I will never, ever lie. If a “mental health” day is necessary, I have no problem calling my employer being honest about it. ” I feel fine. I just dont feel I am able to come in to work today.
I dont enjoy being lied to, and I believe being honest is the best way to keep my fat out of the fire. My employer seems to appreciate the efforts.
Anonymous | Apr 21, 2010
“I woke up on my garage floor after falling off the moving truck I was unloading the night before.”
Ben | Apr 21, 2010
I used I had explossive diarrhea….we all at white castles the day for lunch before so its funny cause he believed me.
Leslie Fitzwater | Apr 21, 2010
I hurt my back when I sneezed while shaving my legs in the shower. True story.
Karen | Apr 21, 2010
The dogs drug home a dead deer and it was blocking my car in the driveway.
Paige | Apr 21, 2010
EMPLOYEE: “i cannot come in i can’t see my ass!”
BOSS “you can’t see your ass”
EMPLOYEE: “yeah i can’t see my ass coming in!”
Shane | Apr 21, 2010
A moose kicked my dog and I had to take him to the vet.
I heard this while interning in Northern Idaho and it turned out to be completely true.
CWT 2nd | Apr 21, 2010
I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND TAKEN TO OUTER SPACE!!!!
maria | Apr 21, 2010
My dog ate my keys
Stu Miller | Apr 21, 2010
During the (first) Persian Gulf conflict, I had an airman tell me he stapped at a convenience store to get a drink on the way to work and the guy behind the counter surrendered to him.
Sean | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me his dog jumped off the bed and unplugged his alarm clock.
HENRY | Apr 21, 2010
THE BEST EXCUSE I HEARD WAS(THERE WAS A DEAD BODY IN MY DRIVEWAY)
Andrew D. | Apr 21, 2010
I didn’t want to come in drunk, so I gave myself time to sober up.
4eva trdy | Apr 21, 2010
I fell down the steps into a mudhole and had to change clothes.
My daughter threw up on me so I had to change clothes.
I had two flat tires.
I locked my keys in the car.
I ran over our dog and had to bury it so my kids wouldn’t know.
Maria | Apr 21, 2010
My dog ate my apron.
My mom died, and then the mother picks them up from work.
My grandma died (three times in one year wow).
I stopped for gas and drove away with the nozzle.
You never called to wake me up!
Suzi | Apr 21, 2010
There was a homeless man in the bed of my pickup truck….haha
arash | Apr 21, 2010
I thought I got retired.
Ron | Apr 21, 2010
I think everyone shoud stop whinning, go to bed early and get up early and work all day! Or else you should move to Europe and become a Euro pansie!
Annette | Apr 21, 2010
I had employee call in sick because his dog ate something that didn’t agree with him, and was experiencing anal bleeding.
Elizabeth | Apr 21, 2010
Had a vendor late to a meeting and his excuse was “My bull got loose and was eating my wife’s Hyacinth’s” so I had to catch him and re-pen him”.
Thomas | Apr 21, 2010
Losing an hour in the spring is the lamest excuse. That simply means you stayed up an hour later than you should have to get 8 hours,or whatever, sleep that you’re used too.
Bob | Apr 21, 2010
My wife was gonna get pregnant and I wanted to be there.
Tom | Apr 21, 2010
“I had to stop to get gas. When I got to the gas station I realized I forgot my wallet. I didn’t have enough gas to get home to get my wallet so I had to bum money from the other people at the gas station until I got enough to fill my tank with enough gas to get to work.”
From a guy I work with. He is frequently late, but this was probably my favorite excuse.
Laura | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me that her 2-year old daughter woke up with ants all over her body and her crib, so she needed to stay home to take care of her daughter (alongside her mother, the child’s grandmother, who is the normal caregiver while the employee is at work).
DB | Apr 21, 2010
It’s always the dog…he’s so slow to pick a spot to do his business. Sometimes he pretends he has to by sniffing the ground and when I look his eyes are actually focused on some critter somewhere in the far distance. I finally learned that if I just walk him and he doesn’t resist then he doesn’t have to go; he definitely resists when he does! There were times when he would delay me by 30 minutes…no more. I now make my boyfriend walk him in the morning as he doesn’t have a tight work schedule!
Jake | Apr 21, 2010
I could not convince myself early enough that I really do need my job and therefore, have to put up with all the work drama.
Paul | Apr 21, 2010
No Excuse but just for the hell of it to see what co-workers respond, I used; I was having Kinky sex with my neighbors wife and lost track of time. I had no comments from them.
Another excuse I used is I had Bad Diareah this morning 
Dirk Sharp | Apr 21, 2010
First off you should have paid attention in your history class. Work used to start no later than 6am and you were lucky to get out by 6pm.
2nd if you were late you did not have a job.
J'Rod McKinney | Apr 21, 2010
I actually did have an employee us the ‘adjusting to daylight saving time’ defense in October.
Michael | Apr 21, 2010
“I can’t come to work today because I can’t find my shoes.”
Jennifer | Apr 21, 2010
I suffer from anal blindness, and I just couldn’t see my ass coming into work today on time.
Charles Anderson | Apr 21, 2010
Honestly, I was told this. “I was kiddnapped this weekend and taken against my will by two men to New York City”.
As she sat there telling me this I noticed that she was wearing a “I Love New York” tee shirt.
Terminated.
Jim | Apr 21, 2010
One of my female coworkers was late almost every day last year. Her excuse was that she makes her husband coffee and his lunch every morning. The problem was she lives in Michigan and he was working in Arizona.
Chianti | Apr 21, 2010
I got half way to work and realized I’d left the coffee pot on, so I went back to shut it off.
Laura | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me that her 2-year old daughter work up with ants all over her body and crib, so she had to stay home and take care of her, alongside her mother, who she lived with and normally took care of her daughter while was at work.
Carmen | Apr 21, 2010
My husband once had an employee’s sister call in and say the employee couldn’t come to work that morning because she was “dead.” (She wasn’t really dead – not even sick – just wanted to stop coming to work!)
Kurt | Apr 21, 2010
Once upon a time my boss came into my office and asked me why I was late. He knew I was late because his car was right behind mine in traffic. That meant, hey, wait for it… that he was late, too. Right?
I quit not too long after that.
Stephanie | Apr 21, 2010
My friend once used the excuse that his girlfriend had been hit by a car. lol.
Lisa | Apr 21, 2010
We had a employee that was always late with numerous excuses! However our favorite excuse was:
My headboard on the bed had my alarm clock on it and the whole headboard fell off in the middle of the night so when the alarm went off in the morning I did not hear it.
Steve | Apr 21, 2010
I thought today was Saturday when I set the alarm last night.
Kimberly | Apr 21, 2010
Seriously, today, the dog was sleeping on my cell phone so I did not hear it go off, I missed my first bus, the second bus was delayed due to traffic. I totally sympathize with the keys being in the refrigerator. That really happened to me too. Generally if I can’t find my keys I leave without locking the door, then have to call my husband from the bus to return home to lock the door.
Paolo-Pablo | Apr 21, 2010
Keep in mind that those who use “the flu” or “a stomach flu” need to know that the real and actual flu season is well defined throughout the world. Acquiring the flu in July, in the Northern Hemisphere and using it as an excuse does not wash!
Just state that you ate some bad food or need the day off.
Honesty can never bite you back. Never, never LIE.
Teresa Norman | Apr 21, 2010
I have anal glacoma. Can’t see my ass coming to work today.
little J | Apr 21, 2010
true story….my boyfriends dog chewed his cell phone!!! Lucky his is in business for himself so he only had to give me the excuse!!
Mary | Apr 21, 2010
Someone once told me that they were standing on their bed when they lost their balance and fell backwards into the tank where they kept a pet snake and injured their back.
Sean | Apr 21, 2010
My cat hid my car keys and it took me an hour to find them.
Rick | Apr 21, 2010
In the navy on shore duty years ago, a guy who was never late, one day did not show up. When he came in his excuse was he was dreaming he was out of the navy and the dream was so real that when his alarm went off, he thought he had no where to be so he rolled over and went back to sleep.
Had to give him an “A” for originality.
Melody | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me she couldn’t come to work because she had lost one of her seven different mascaras that she applied daily – there was no way she could leave the house without having put on the lengthening mascara.
Huh!
David W. | Apr 21, 2010
The best one I heard was when one of my employees came from the doctor after a recent trip to the PI. He had problems performing and asked the doctor to take a look. The doctor gave him a shot and he was up all day and could not come to work (second shift) like that. LOL!!!
Scott | Apr 21, 2010
I actually have dreamt I was already at work more then once in the past!
Normally, when you hit the snooze button you still know in the back of your head that you need to get up. When you are dreaming you are already at work you have no such voice telling you to get up. It is quite insidious of your brain to do…
JASON | Apr 21, 2010
MY GIRLFRIENDS FRIEND IS HAVING A BABY AND I MIGHT BE A LITTLE LATE OR I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE IN AT ALL.
rick | Apr 21, 2010
a employee of mine who worked graveyard used this. i went to the gastation to fill the car with gas, went back to the drivers seat to wait for it to fill. the next thing i know i woke up and it was morning.
Laura | Apr 21, 2010
I once heard about a coworker who called in saying that she had a flat tire, and she never showed up for work that day. On another occasion, she had run out of gas, and never showed up for work. On another occasion, her car wouldn’t start, so she had no way to get to work. Needless to say, her employment didn’t last too long (neither did her car, I presume)!
Paul Kester | Apr 21, 2010
It was a really hot morning…so much so that the pavement heated up and expanded making my 20 mile trip to work, 25 miles which made me 5 minutes late.
Marowak | Apr 21, 2010
Sorry I’m late, boss. I had to run to the river to fish out my bus ticket, run back, then I missed the bus, then my friend Seth invited me to breakfast, where I missed the bus AGAIN, then my dog Pickle needed to pee (which always leads to a 7-mile walk), then luckily, I coughed up my car keys. The only problem was my car was filled with Jell-O and out of gas. I ran to the gas stop, got fuel, ran back, and filled the tank up. After removing the Jell-O with a jackhammer, I had diarrhea and had to take half a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. But I had none. So I went to the store and bought some, then chugged it there. When I got home, Pickle had to pee again. After that, I drove to work to explain this crazy day to you.
mando | Apr 21, 2010
I was late for work because an actual tornado hit my house. trust me our street looked like a war zone.
nd | Apr 21, 2010
a coworker has a new one every week, here are the latest…
1) my car was surrounde by emergency equipment responding to and incident and i could not move
2) my basement flooded (had not rained in days)
3) i had to sew my sons scout patches on his shirt and i lost the patches
4) i had to take a detour and got lost – didn’t know how to use the gps
5) the trash truck broke down behind my car and i could not back out
Tiffany | Apr 21, 2010
There was a wreck on my usual route so I had to take an alternative one and I got caught by a really long train.
Farm Girl | Apr 21, 2010
Our Goat ate the electrical wires under my truck and I didn’t have any headlights, turn signals, or brake lights. This is a true story. This goat ate everything he could get ahold of. There was one little wire showing under the front bumper of my truck and he decided to make a meal of it and several others. Luckily, my mechanically inclined husband was able to fix it the same day. My Boss believed me, but I had to put up with a lot of joking and laughter the next day. Of course this made the goat an instant celebrity and everyone in my office wanted to see it.
Steve | Apr 21, 2010
“I had other things to do” Said that right up to the point we fired her. She said she did not understand why we were firing her just because she other things to do.
Debbie | Apr 21, 2010
My co-worker said she couldn’t come to work because she ate a chocolate bar the night before and it kept her awake.
pepper516 | Apr 21, 2010
I was a supervisor at a manfucaturing plant. It was a bright sunny 62 degrees one morning when I received a call from one of my employees. His excuse: My water pipes have frozen. Yea right!
ken | Apr 21, 2010
one my friend used once,” my baby bite my nipple off”
Tina | Apr 21, 2010
A girl in our office has pretty much used them all, my favorite was the day she didn’t call in and hours later she shows up and tells everyone that she had locked her self in the garage with her car running in the drive way where her purse and phone were. She had to use a hammer to beat a hole in the door between the garage and the house in order to get out. The best part of this story is abut a week later, she used the same excuse of locking herself in the garage again!
Jim Berry | Apr 21, 2010
Not an excuse for being late . but one for the day off…. Had a sailor tell me his
“one armed sister was arriving at the airport with two suitcases and needed the day off to help her with her luggage.”
Madison | Apr 21, 2010
I accidentally glued my head to my pillow.
roger | Apr 21, 2010
My wife was getting pregnate and I had to be there!
dave | Apr 21, 2010
My butt is stuck to the bed.
Lisa | Apr 21, 2010
A midget to his boss: My wife put me on the dresser and I could not get down. (True excuse used)
Bri | Apr 21, 2010
EXCUSES FOR BEING LATE OR NOT SHOWING UP TO WORK:
~ I had to kill ants.
~ When I come to work everyone has an attitude (with me) so I decided it’s best if I stay home.
~ I can only make left turns but I have to make a right to get to work.
kaking | Apr 21, 2010
I’m a lazy, good for nothing person who can’t be bothered to go to bed at a reasonable hour.
Kathryn | Apr 21, 2010
My hair was still wet when I left the house and it froze to my head so I had to stop and have it blow-dried at a salon or I would have died.
Fran | Apr 21, 2010
I had a young man call in and say his ‘spleen’ hurt. I asked him if he even knew his spleen was. I let him have the night off for his originality and laugh-factor.
Carla | Apr 21, 2010
It was so nice outside this morning I thought it was Saturday morning…gone shopping
Anonymous | Apr 21, 2010
I know this is hard to believe but I work part-time for the CIA and I had an overnight mission to Somalia so try explaining that to your shift manager at taco bell.
Luis | Apr 21, 2010
My tie got stuck in the food disponsal
Lee | Apr 21, 2010
The skirt I was wearing ripped, I was stapeling it together, and ran out of staples.
SHARON | Apr 21, 2010
I got pulled over by the police for speeding on my way to work.
ALEX tORREZ | Apr 21, 2010
who would ever use those lame excuses
Andrea | Apr 21, 2010
I once worked with a woman who called out sick on Monday because she was at the beach over the weekend and got sunburned.
She had a habit of calling out on Mondays, even though she had only been working here about 2 months. One of her other excuses for not coming in what that she helped her brother-in-law move and threw her back out.
Ernie | Apr 21, 2010
I wasn’t Late when I left my house.
ALEX tORREZ | Apr 21, 2010
AND HOW CAN U GET UR KEYS IN THW REFRIGERATOR
sue | Apr 21, 2010
I once called in late to work because my bra was in the dryer. I was not lieing my boss believed me I whear a 36DDD! He asked me not to come in without one on it would be a distraction LOL!
jack anderson | Apr 21, 2010
My eyes hurt really bad and I can SEE myself coming in today!!
tj | Apr 21, 2010
A male employee called in naked Hiis angry girl freind had stolen all his clothes
Cathie | Apr 21, 2010
I actually had a very bright 4 year old she is now 12. She would hide my car keys the ngiht before. One time, it took almost 45 minutes to find the keys in the freezer by the ice cream. She figured no keys than mommy would stay home.
Best excuse — my boyfirend handcuffed himselft to me and we cannot find the key. A photo was provided via cell phone.
Shelly | Apr 21, 2010
I was having eye problems, I couldn’t see coming to work on time.
Alejandra | Apr 21, 2010
I forgot to remember
Judy Mitchell | Apr 21, 2010
Corroborate.
Bill | Apr 21, 2010
As for people being habitually late, there is no excuse for it whatsoever. When I managed restaurants, I fired many employees for that. To be late occasionally because of an emergency is ok, but when it happened nearly every day I had no tolerance for it. For those who have touble getting up in the mornings, GO TO BED AT A DECENT HOUR! If you try it a few times, it will make the mornings much easier.
Joost | Apr 21, 2010
I don’t even know at what time I should start working exactly. Everyday when I arrive everybody has already started.
bill | Apr 21, 2010
i had to poop
brandi | Apr 21, 2010
I ran out of “Total” so I had to eat 8 bowls of “Wheaties” instead.
Mike | Apr 21, 2010
Back in the 70′s on the morning after Holloween said someone took the tires off his car and threw them in a tree>
Tom Galvin | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee call stating that he had filed a missing turtle report
with the local police for his pet turtle “snappy”. Stated the police had called
and located his turtle in a lady’s driveway. They told him to come the get now.
You can’t make this stuff up or can you?
chris | Apr 21, 2010
I had a young employee call in and tell me he couldn’t work because he lost his shoes.
Amanda Darnsh | Apr 21, 2010
My sister’s scalp tore off.
Innen | Apr 21, 2010
On my way to work I began to see dead people and had to go see a shrink, would have called to say I was late but the dead people told me your an evil evil man.
Tom | Apr 21, 2010
analglaucoma ——- Just can’t see my ass being there.
agnes | Apr 21, 2010
Time just goes by, being unnotice.. the truth
Jay | Apr 21, 2010
I used to work in a high-end electronics store… the ONLY acceptable reason for being late was morning sex… lol… as long as your significant other called in and explained it while you were on your way in and you brought a round of coffees, all was forgiven… car trouble, alarms, and all other excuses were unacceptable
laura | Apr 21, 2010
one of my employees always has a different exuse and uses them often
here are a few of them
I forgot my work clothes and had to call my boyfriend to bring them to the bus stop. It took him a while to get here and that is why I was late. I couldnt call you because I also forgot my cell phone (ummm see the discrepancy here)
I was late today because I wanted to fix my hair.
I went through the drive through on the way to work.
joe | Apr 21, 2010
I was late morethan once when I had to catch an milk cow, that just didnt want to get milked. It must have sounded weird to my boss when Id say .had to catch Bossy to get her milked.
Josh | Apr 21, 2010
A construction crew was repairing a water line under the street in front of my house so thier was a twelve foot deep hole at the end of my driveway and apparently they “left a note” for me to park elsewhere but i never saw it. So i called in and said i coulndt make it because of a gigantic hole at the end of my driveway. After a year im still hearing about it from fellow co workers
Larry | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me that he couldn’t come in due to a sunburned tounge.
jenny | Apr 21, 2010
I was watching Spongebob and lost track of the time!
Joanne | Apr 21, 2010
My dog locked me in the bathroom. (The sad part of this is that it was a real reason – my dog really DID lock me in the bathroom.)
So Glad | Apr 21, 2010
I had to take some boxes to my mother because she was moving.
katie | Apr 21, 2010
There was one person that came into work and said they got pulled over by a cop, the cop searched their car, and they found pot in the trunk (apparently the employee’s “brother” put it there)
Hans | Apr 21, 2010
This morning my boss arrived late and told us that his train was delayed because of volcanic ash.
Lai | Apr 21, 2010
The lamest excuse that I’ve heard was that an employee’s car broke down. Problem? They didn’t own a car or even have a drivers license they were new to the state and took the bus. Imagine what happened when they came back to work.
Ria | Apr 21, 2010
John Wilson–collaborate?
did you mean corroborate or elaborate?
Lee | Apr 21, 2010
A tree was blocking the road. It was a day after a fierce storm. Later on the radio it was reported that a tree did fall on the car and blocked traffic.
Josh | Apr 21, 2010
I forgot to listen to the traffic report, so i jumped on the highway and got caught in a 10 mile an hour traffic jam.
Ken | Apr 21, 2010
My dog had a sprained paw.
Bill Catalano | Apr 21, 2010
Years ago I had a mini-farm for the kids, and, one winter I couldn’t open the front door to go to work because a cow chip had frozen in front of the storm door!!! TRUTH.
Anne | Apr 21, 2010
True Story. I had a mental breakdown in front of my closet. I could not, for the life of me, decide what to wear. I was about 7 minutes late and told the truth about my tardiness. The boss was not amused.
Laura | Apr 21, 2010
“The tire fell off my car while I was on the highway.” – Chances are your car would need a lot of work after this one, but she was in (miraculously) on-time the next day with no car trouble or signs of the traumatic experience. Hmmm..
Steve | Apr 21, 2010
Best excuse was: I was kidnapped in Miami by Romanian mobsters.
Linda New | Apr 21, 2010
I live in a rural area in Missouri and one year we had longhorn steer on our property. One morning I was leaving for work and saw that one of the calves was outside the fence and not inside. So I had to call in to work and say I would be late for work because I had to round up the calf and put it back in the pasture. This is no joke.
Frustrated | Apr 21, 2010
one of my co-workers is constantly late or calls in to work at least 2-3 times a week.. and it’s never just a few minutes, i’m talking about her coming in at 1pm and expecting to take a break an hour later, then comes up with an excuse to leave early.
Kat | Apr 21, 2010
I got pulled over for following a Police Officer too close while trying to rush to make it in on time
JD | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me that the reason he was late was due to saving a stranger from drowning after he watched the strangers boat fill with water sink and then be swept down the river in a fast current. He said he jumped in pulled the stranger out of the water however, the issue that made him late was not the saving of the stranger it was him having to return home to change into dry clothes.
Richard Jaimes | Apr 21, 2010
I had one employee say “I cant find my other shoe” and one other say “I cant come in, there is ice on the road” He lived across the street.
tasha | Apr 21, 2010
i couldnt get up i was glued to the bed by my kid.
Pepe | Apr 21, 2010
Last year one of my people told me:
I was late because I sent to my Grandmother funeral (This was the third time this guy went to his Grandma funeral over the years !!!)
chelsie | Apr 21, 2010
Hey, I’ve done this!! My keys are usually sitting on top of the lunch I forget to take to work!!!
Jamie | Apr 21, 2010
We had a employee tell us he was being help hostage by a skunk!!!
mark | Apr 21, 2010
I had both my tires slashed ( so I couldnt put the spare on it)
I was pulled over an searched
I got in a fight bc the person was swearing at my gf
Morning sex at the time my gf was my boss
my beagle got loose
I stepped in dog do do
the best part is all these are true and the only reason I was late. the worst part was I got fired bc of the fight
Julie | Apr 21, 2010
“My doorknob broke off and I got stuck inside my house.”
Gabriella | Apr 21, 2010
the sex was great saw had to do it over and over and over again..this actually worked my boss got turned on
Pepe | Apr 21, 2010
Last year one of my people told me:
I was late because I went to my Granmother funeral (This was his third time over the years that this guy went to his Grandma funeral !!!)
Rachel | Apr 21, 2010
Have gotten: I had a migraine, no gas in my car, car wouldn’t work, had no alternate ride, just too tired, had a meeting with an attorney, no a.c. in their car and had a job interview. People will continue to give excuses as long as people allow them to get away with them. Suck it up and be the jerk that calls them on it. Let’s take back our dignity & balls!
Donna Stewart | Apr 21, 2010
One of my employess is also a volunteer firefighter. His excuse “I was working a struture fire”
andyp | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee say they were late because someone stole their car battery. Tragic.
Patsy | Apr 21, 2010
My son had an employee call in to say he couldn’t come to work because he couldn’t get his socks on.
GMANN | Apr 21, 2010
one employee wrote a note saying how sick she was then advised washing hands after reading the note. wow real convincing
Lisa | Apr 21, 2010
My husband woke up horny
billy | Apr 21, 2010
HOOKER STOLE MY CAR KEYS
valerie lazzell | Apr 21, 2010
The only clothes I had to wear to work were wrinkled and I couldn’t find my iron. I finally found it in the fridge where I accidentally put it last time I used it.
Joey-von | Apr 21, 2010
I have worked at several different places and of all of those places I’ve worked at I have heard the SAME excuses of co-workers on why they didn’t show or on why they were late. It’s very weird on how so many people in alot of different work places come up with the same excuse. It’s like these popular excuses have the similar power as the common cold. They spread like crazy. I have the TOP 4 excuses of all time that I have heard employees come up with on why they were late or why they didn’t show up.
1.) I woke up and my car had a flat tire or I had car trouble
2.) My grandma died or she’s in the hospital and I had to be there
3.) I had to go out of town
4.) My alarm didn’t go off or I overslept
Donna | Apr 21, 2010
Well here is one for you. This is coming from one of our employees. Her grandmother has died, I know, three times just since I have worked here the past 5 years. Duh!
bob | Apr 21, 2010
I was late and a supervisor of 20+ years askd why. I told him i had car trouble. this was not good enough, i believe he said “not original”. I told him to make up his own lie. After 15 minutes he came over and said he really needed something to write on the attendance sheet. I thought for a minute and gave him the truth. ” I was unavoidable detained by a female”. After lunch the supervisor came over to me and said that personel would not accept the reason for bieng tardy. He told me that he rewrote the attendance sheet and stated the reason as “car trouble”.
michael | Apr 21, 2010
my mother-in-law died. i had an employee and hes used this excuse like 19 times in one year? lol
Bradley | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me that his BEES were loose. (Note: he does have bee hives which he keeps and sells the honey).
Carlos | Apr 21, 2010
Someone stole my front door to my house.
buffalo. New York | Apr 21, 2010
i was all made up, hair done and ready to go, at the last minute, i leaned into the tub run the water a bit to rinse down the tub and clean the drain..the shower was on and wrecked my hair and makeup and drenched my blouse.
Eddie | Apr 21, 2010
My dog had a heart attack and I had to take him the hospital.
Jeannie | Apr 21, 2010
I worked with a young girl who called in and actually said that her car had been hit by lightning!!
Margaret Becker | Apr 21, 2010
While in the mountains of Colorado, we had a real estate woman say she was late because a moose was in her driveway and she couldn’t get her car out.
Carmen | Apr 21, 2010
My dog drank my cofee
Kevin | Apr 21, 2010
I used this one,and it was really true. I’m running late,bear and her cubs are out it the cal-de-sac cubs are tossing the garbage all over the place. Why can’t I just get into the truck and drive pass or threw them? Mommy bear is in the bed of truck watching them. Sure was the camera wasn’t on the seat of the truck.
Daisy LaFave | Apr 21, 2010
week 1: my wife has cervical cancer
week 2: my wife was misdiagnosed she has HPV
week 3: my wife has leukimia of the blood like her mother
week 4: my wife’s mother had a stroke
week 5: my wife might be pregnant
the only person more idiotic that the lying employee is the employer who puts up with it.
Alexander | Apr 21, 2010
I thought it was daylight savings time this week…
Gena | Apr 21, 2010
My son got bit by a donkey. Yes, it was true. On a Sunday my son was visiting his grandmother who lived on a farm. He went out to pet the donkey and it bit his hand but it wasn’t bad. The next morning he had a red streak running up his arm so I took him to the doctor and he had to get a tetnus shot. I got a lot of laughs when I had to call work and his school saying ” My son won’t be in because he got bit by a donkey”.
Alejando | Apr 21, 2010
Last night i went out to eat sushi and got a stomach flu,
Marty McFly | Apr 21, 2010
The DeLorean was out of Plutonium!
Bobford | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me that she just got her nails done and didn’t want to smudge them so she couln’t leave on time
Joe McWilliams | Apr 21, 2010
“The question is not ‘Why am I late?’ The question is ‘Why are all of you so early?’”
Actually, I gave this excuse. As a presenter I understand, if one is going to show up late for an audience, (s)he had better do so with a good one-liner. That particular line worked wonderfully with that particular audience. Tis better to show up on time, however.
Kristen | Apr 21, 2010
Whatever happened to “I slept in” Crazy people I’m telling ya
Jess | Apr 21, 2010
Linda, that actually happened to me one time. I had gotten groceries the night before and put a bag of meat in the freezer right when I walked in the door and put my car keys in there as well!!!!
Bob | Apr 21, 2010
The train I was on had a flat tire.
Bob | Apr 21, 2010
I turned the car on so it would warm up, forgot that I did that and spent 40 mins looking for the car keys inside the house …. wasted time and gas, aarggh !!
Jim E | Apr 21, 2010
I couldn’t find my car keys; they were in the refrigerator.
sandra lee johnson | Apr 21, 2010
my heart says leave this topic alone; my fingers and brain is going on with this artical.i am not a morng person therefore i work from home.i ask myself if you are constantly tardy for work do you want the job?
Alice | Apr 21, 2010
In high school when I was on the track team my coach asked me why I missed practice the day before and I told him it was because I was hungry so I went home to eat. He said in all his time coaching he never heard that excuse before. “I was hungry.”
LaQuetta | Apr 21, 2010
haha my mother did that once !!
John | Apr 21, 2010
The best excuse for being late was made by my mate! He told everyone he was late ‘because Aliens stole his dinner money!’ he was actually late ‘cos he had spent his money in th etuck shop on the way to school!
Monday | Apr 21, 2010
My phone is my alarm clock – my cat threw up on it and ruined it. Therefore, I didn’t hear an alarm and I couldn’t call in to tell my supervisor I was running behind because it didn’t work.
Alice | Apr 21, 2010
Lol, I love that!
Stephen M | Apr 21, 2010
I used this one which is true. We had an ice storm once where I lived that stuck to everything even my car. I knew it was frozen over though so when I woke up the next morning I called up my boss from my cell phone and said I couldn’t get to work because I couldn’t get in my car because it was frozen. Since I was still inside I got on my computer and found sound effects for an ice scraper and played them while I was making the call. Then I went back to bed. I had a legitimate reason for doing this. I didn’t want to step outside into the cold to prove it and really wake myself up only to be able not to go to work and also not able to go back to sleep. Three hours later when I finally woke up I had an errand to run and went out to my car and as I suspected it was frozen shut. It took me the better part of an hour to get inside it and even longer to clear the windows to a safe point of driving.
I thought my idea of using sound effects was worth sharing though.
j marsh | Apr 21, 2010
Had an employee that was young and called in one day saying she was at a party the night before and didny know where the party was and she left her shoes there so she couldnt come in to work .
Kurt | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee call and say that the town he lived in, had just put booster pumps on the citys water supply and the increase in pressure caused his hot water tank to explode, blowing out the bottom of the tank!!! I just simply made a call to the town in which he resided and asked the city manager if they had done such improvements on the water pumps, obviosly they hadnt. But I didnt terminate him, just asked him to be honest in the future..
Vince | Apr 21, 2010
Just this past Monday, an employee told me her car was towed and now she has missed the last two days because the tow company ruined the transmission of her car.
Jacques | Apr 21, 2010
I’VE USED THAT!! TWICE!!!
Nathan Smithson | Apr 21, 2010
Sorry my tires are frozen to the ground and I am unable to make it in to work today
Sally | Apr 21, 2010
This one wasn’t late – she never came in at all. The following was the email she sent: “Due to one too many beers last night, I’m feeling pretty bloody seedy, so I’m not going to come in today, but if you need me (which you probably won’t, it’s pretty quiet) call me at home.” Need I say she knew in advance she was on her way out the door with her job.
walt | Apr 21, 2010
My teeth fell out while eating wings!
James Russell | Apr 21, 2010
My well is frozen (and its above freezing)
Steph | Apr 21, 2010
I had a migraine and couldn’t get out of bed.
jason | Apr 21, 2010
I was late for work because there was a herd of sheep going down the road and I couldn’t get around them. My supervisor looked at me pretty funny when I told him that story. At least I had taken some video with my cell phone to prove it.
kelly | Apr 21, 2010
my dog ate my homework
MICHAEL | Apr 21, 2010
I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT. I LEAVE AT THE RIGHT TIME, BUT I ARRIVE AT THE WRONG TIME.
deez nuts | Apr 21, 2010
sux mi tatas
Robert Christopulos | Apr 21, 2010
I can sympathize.
My Dad bought a new car once and a door fell off the day afte he bought it. Too, on the morning of 9/11/2001 my wife and I were sleeping on the floor as we were remodeling our bedroom. During the night I guess the dog decided to drink the water in the glass where my false teeth were, knocked the glass over and I woke to the sound of crunch, crunch. My dog was eating my teeth.
he joys of being a dog owner!
Ryan | Apr 21, 2010
We had a young kid in our warehouse call in and say the SWAT team was in his home and he couldn’t make it to work.
Tobi | Apr 21, 2010
Haha! Best one was dog ate my cellphone. Another good excuse is i took a wrong turn
.
ed | Apr 21, 2010
Yes, but can you corroborate this?
kgorbet | Apr 21, 2010
There was a dead man in front of my doorway.
Michelle | Apr 21, 2010
Of course the real excuse is that you hate your job and don’t want to see the idiots at work anymore, whom you see more than the people you actually love and care about.
kgorbet | Apr 21, 2010
There was a dead man in my doorway.
Paul | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee’s wife send her hubby to work late with the message she wrote, he was late because the cat couldn’t urinate! (The union saved his job for him)
Kinley | Apr 21, 2010
I once heard a coworker explain to my boss that her puppy had thrown up all over her work clothes and that she didn’t have anything else to wear so she had to wash new clothes before coming to work and that’s why she was late!! I thought it was pretty funny.
I also heard the same girl tell our boss that she was 3 hours late.. because she had a scary dream and she couldn’t snap out of it!!
Sorry Jesika!
Let’s just say she didn’t work with me after that. haha
Tmac | Apr 21, 2010
One of the vehicles an employee owned transmission failed and she HAD to accompany her spouse to pick up the replacement. She couldn’t explain why he couldn’t go by himself.
Norma | Apr 21, 2010
A crippled duck was crossing the road and I stopped to help it.
Brian Aklin | Apr 21, 2010
I have sexual needs to you know!
Ben | Apr 21, 2010
“My wife needed emergency surgery at the hospital.” Unfortunately this employee has never been married and has said so in the office.
Angel | Apr 21, 2010
It is common for me to check mi internet stuff on mornings, but sometimes I lost track of the time while doing it ( even computer breakdowns got me late!), and I get behind on other chores I have to do before getting ready to go to my job; it is like a chain of reaction that trigers several reasons for being late on average three times a week!, and I have ‘em all: keys lost, last minute flat tire change,ruined breakfast,spills, kitchen accidents, disscutions with my wife,late wake up,alarm did not work,tireness,dentist visit took longer than expected,waiting on others urgencies,unschedule compromises,other people asking me for favors just before I leave (those are the worst),giving a emergency ride to somebody who is also “getting late” to his duties,and more..unfortunallly this situations are like a vicious circle that have to be neutralized all the time by my readinessl, otherwise they would not let me go to work in peace, and yes,sometimes I get on time or earlier to my workplace, and that particular sight from my supervisor….., I don’n get.
Candi | Apr 21, 2010
I had employeee call and say they would be late because they had to watch their niece until someone came to get her. Then called back and said she couldn’t come in, because nobody picked up the niece.
Brad | Apr 21, 2010
I was in a horrific car accident and I’m now paralyzed from the neck down. See you on Monday.
Diane Isam | Apr 21, 2010
“I drove the wrong car”. I got part way to work and realized I drove the wrong car and had to go back home to get the other car. I had to leave the car that the baby seat fits in.
Lolli | Apr 21, 2010
The bison got out of the corral and I had to chase it and put it back in the corral.
Gia Mcleod | Apr 21, 2010
I think it’s stupid to terminate an employee that it’s doing his/her work perfectly fine just because it’s late. You can have someone working for you that it’s always on time and do NOTHING the whole day. To me, you have to weight your employees for the work they do and not for the time they get to work
Heather | Apr 21, 2010
Thank God I have wonderful boss’. I was late this morning / 15 minutes, but I called and everything is okay.
Tim | Apr 21, 2010
I’m having a problem with my vision. I can’t see myself being on time today.
Lianne | Apr 21, 2010
I’ve actually had to say this numerous times:
It was my narcolepsy. I was up and then I wasn’t….
Monica Hinson | Apr 21, 2010
I just usually come in running and saying, “Don’t pay the ransom, I escaped.”
eric | Apr 21, 2010
i was at the welfare office all morning.
kat | Apr 21, 2010
I had anal glucoma, I could not SEE my ASS coming to work……
Leslie | Apr 21, 2010
my alarm never goes off on time XD
idania | Apr 21, 2010
i live in Los Angeles….enough said
Heather | Apr 21, 2010
Oh, but I was honest. I never go out, but I did last night.
Robb | Apr 21, 2010
I eventually terminated an employee who had stated she dreamdt I had fired her and she did not show up for work. Dreams do come true.
Barbara Walsh | Apr 21, 2010
My coworker, years ago, called in that she would be late because she sprayed her hair with “scrubbing bubbles” instead of hairspray.
H H H | Apr 21, 2010
I was late because I read this very article looking for a reason NOT to come to work. MSN has failed me again!
Laurence | Apr 21, 2010
I thought I was due in at noon so technically, I am not late.
carlos | Apr 21, 2010
one excuse i used and actually worked ,was when i claimed the subway train i take every morning ,ran out of gas
Valury | Apr 21, 2010
The best excuse I’ve ever heard was.. .. “Oh im so SORRY I totally thought today was Saturday!” Are they serious!?
Kate | Apr 21, 2010
I have heard the keys in the refrigerator, too! Good one!
On a very windy day, a jokester once told me that he woke up and saw a cow fly by his window and thought he was dreaming so he went back to sleep! Right!
Steve | Apr 21, 2010
I forgot my car. That has been the best one for me.
gabz | Apr 21, 2010
My child miss the bus so i had to take him to school or my child wasnt feeling good!
erica | Apr 21, 2010
funny!!!
Loretta | Apr 21, 2010
“I’m on the toilet”
Bryan | Apr 21, 2010
I farted real hard on the way to work and shit my pants.
sugarmama | Apr 21, 2010
I had to take my baby to get her vaccine.
Sarah | Apr 21, 2010
Lets see here…well I have plenty, I’m horrible at being punctual, I do try though:
I had to get gas, I didn’t realize I was on “E”; I wouldn’t have made to work w/o the gas, lol.
Sorry lost track of the time, I was with a study group studying for our next exam.
But as you mentioned earlier, my all time favorite, “TRAFFIC”
rhonda | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee say ” I ran over a man on a moped and had to wait for the ambulance”
jeff | Apr 21, 2010
my car has been repo
Rachel | Apr 21, 2010
This is one for school. Aliens stole my homework
Sarah | Apr 21, 2010
“Sorry, I’m hung-over”.
Kelly | Apr 21, 2010
A few weeks ago I was late to work when I had left a 3 lb roast overnight in the sink to thaw. I got up in the morning to find that my 2 yr old male cat had got the roast out of the sink, had punctured the bag so there was blood all over my kitchen floor, cabinets, and counter. Of course it probably took 30 minutes to clean all the mess up, and then I hit every stinkin red light and got stopped behind a couple of school buses on my way to work!
john smith | Apr 21, 2010
The dog would not poop, so I kept on walking her till she did, so I could bring her back in the house.
jeff | Apr 21, 2010
my 70 year old mom just flew in from out of town and has no way home,i had to go and get her sorry.
freddy | Apr 21, 2010
Our Sales Manager called in Sick once saying that her Eyes were swollen shut!!! Never did find out how she found her phone to call the office.
Alison | Apr 21, 2010
Corroborate. You can corroborate this. Collaborate is a different word entirely.
John | Apr 21, 2010
Someone was robbing my house as I woke up in the morning. So I had to take care of that with the police which took a few hours.
Jacob | Apr 21, 2010
I work out every morning before work, and am typically 20 to 30 minutes late 3 or 4 times a week. One excuse I have used is that a member at my gym accidentally spilled his protein shake all over my work clothes, making me have to go back home and change.
Freddy | Apr 21, 2010
i have the voicemail to prove it- an employee called to let me informed that he was stuck in his gargage and would not be able to make it in.
Debby | Apr 21, 2010
1. Dead car battery. 2. Sheetz was making a fresh pot of coffee and I had wait. 3. Spilled coffee on my pants and had to turn around and go home to change clothes!
Doug | Apr 21, 2010
My favorite was,
My wife found out I was having an affair and burned all my clothes.
Cheri | Apr 21, 2010
My perpetual tardiness is a disease that I have had all my life.
Vernetta | Apr 21, 2010
Funny thing is on a camping trip I lost my trailer keys and when we finally found them, they really were in the fridge…LOL never late to work because of it though.
Sue | Apr 21, 2010
During peak season, I had an employee call and say they couldn’t come in because they couldn’t find a PARKING space! Needless to say, that employee was not welcomed back!
milly | Apr 21, 2010
This one actually happened to me last week.. I was late cause i was puking cause my husband cooked and gave me food poisoning!!! so i went out and bought him a beginners cookbook.. was politically incorrect so can’t tell you the name of it.. but google “whipped and beaten culinary works” to find it.. really reflected how i felt about him..
Patricio Tuerez | Apr 21, 2010
They told me they were late because they were so silly that they needed Wet Willies.
Jessica | Apr 21, 2010
I had a person tell me that they called me to say they were goin to be late but when I asked why wasn’t there a record of the call on my caller id they then said that they must have called someone else with the same name.
Cory | Apr 21, 2010
I was late once because I had to get my cat out of a tree, and when I climbed the ladder to get him, he leaped onto my face causing my chin to cut open. I had to go get 2 shots and stitches…
tammy | Apr 21, 2010
I can’t believe some of these excuses, but I about died laughing on number#5 “I dreamt I was already at work”..that has actualy happened to me more than once!!!! lol I too have heard many strange excuses in my time like; I locked my keys in my car…….I thought it was saturday……to many to list!
Scott | Apr 21, 2010
I went to the doctor and found out I was having an allergic reation to work
Donna | Apr 21, 2010
A father called me to say his daughter(my employee) along with her mother had just fell down an elevator shaft and she was going to be 15 min late.
Karen | Apr 21, 2010
This was real — The horses got out.
Cherisha | Apr 21, 2010
Hi – this is nothing about the article… I just wanted to know if the dog in the picture is a Wheaten-Poodle? He looks EXACTLY like mine – down to his nose and eyes… and I’ve never seen another dog look so much like mine!!
stefanie | Apr 21, 2010
a fellow employee said he pooped his pants and had to go home to change…and that was why he was 2 hours late…
anthony | Apr 21, 2010
I was told once that on the way to work they stopped the train because a lady was giving birth. So the next day when he was late again his excuse was the lady that gave birth the day before invited everyone on the train to her house for breakfast. lol
Mz bell | Apr 21, 2010
At least those people thought enough to make up an excuse even if it is not a good one. How about the excuse of “I don’t know”. How do you not know why you were late……
Pat | Apr 21, 2010
This is not a lie….. my pet skunk got killed by a car when he ran away! I had been 3 days on a new job and my pet skunk broke out and was hit by a car. I thought I’d never live that one down.
Rich | Apr 21, 2010
Anal glaucoma…I can’t see my butt coming in today
Chase | Apr 21, 2010
i was singing my fav. song in the shower
Allister | Apr 21, 2010
I was late for school because our dog had killed 3 of our other dogs puppies (a long time ago)
Millya | Apr 21, 2010
some lady at my job said she lost her glasses.
LAME-O!
Giselle | Apr 21, 2010
If you are late if because you don’t care. For me being on time everywhere is very important because I appreciate my time and others people time. You are paid to work certain time and the employer count on you for that. That’s why we have so much technology: phones, alarm clocks, tv, etc to wake you up.
Caroline | Apr 21, 2010
I locked myself out of the house (leaving my keys inside). My alarm clock is 15 years old its batteries keep dying. My roomate’s dog ran off down the street as i was trying to leave. I had an allergic reaction to my breakfast. my car wouldnt start. I slipped getting out of the shower and wask knocked unconcious for an hour. my kitchen was on fire because my roomate left her ciggeratte on the counter next to the paper towels.
All this has happened to me. I am what you call Murphy’s Law.
Anything that can go wrong. Will go wrong.
I have had to explain all these mishaps to different bosses and everyone of them believed me because I usually looked like hell those days.
Amy | Apr 21, 2010
The cat exploded out of both ends on my couch right as I was walking out the door, I couldn’t just leave it all there. Sadly – this might be an excuse but it really has happened. More than once. I hate that damn cat.
Sydney | Apr 21, 2010
I had to find my credit card. It was in my pocket.
Flarpy | Apr 21, 2010
My dog ate my car keys…
Kelsie | Apr 21, 2010
I just heard this one yesterday “My dog got sick on my face and I had to go to the hospital to get my stomach pumped.”
I said it would be okay, if he could show me medical proof. He changed his story.
Amy | Apr 21, 2010
My co-worker didn’t come to work AT ALL the other day because she bit her tongue. I asked her if it was completely gone and she said “haha. No.” REALLY! I bit my tongue WHILE at work before. It hurt, but I stayed!
barbara | Apr 21, 2010
how about i forgot to wake up
Cyrus | Apr 21, 2010
The best excuse I have ever been givin was a former employee who called in.
Claiming he had took a “Viagra” and that his erection would not go down. But was kind enough to inform me he was hard at work to relieve this problem and would come in if he could.
Jay | Apr 21, 2010
I think you mean, “I can corroborate this.”
phil | Apr 21, 2010
could not find any of my pants.
Jana | Apr 21, 2010
A volcano erupted, and I couldn’t get to work on time. LOL!
Lyndsey | Apr 21, 2010
I heard this conversation and couldnt help but laugh out loud:
boss: Hey, why were you late?
employee: I was at a funeral.
boss: Im so sorry! Who died?
employee: My pet iguana.
marley | Apr 21, 2010
i was late because my dog was menstruating
conniejohnson | Apr 21, 2010
A herd of cows blocked the street and I couldn’t get through.
liz | Apr 21, 2010
My phone died, service sucks.
Jan | Apr 21, 2010
My cat slept on the alarm radio, and must have turned it off.
ben | Apr 21, 2010
sorry i drove to the place i wished i worked instead
Mitch | Apr 21, 2010
I ran into several trains.
My son thought it would be funny to hide my shampoo.
D E N | Apr 21, 2010
I have a seeing problem, I don’t see me comming in today
LOL | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me…”I choked on a vitamin and had to lay down”
Paul | Apr 21, 2010
I came across a Motorcycle accident and took the victim & his bike back home. This actually did happen to me a number of years ago while on my way to work one forsty morning. I got there as he was trying to push his bike back up out of the ditch. We put his bike in the back of my truck and I brought him home to get his car. I was given the time from work rather than being considered late they paid me for the hour i was late.
Rana | Apr 21, 2010
I actually have left my car keys in the fridge before. And in the mailbox…
Johnna | Apr 21, 2010
Left the house in slippers. Got all the way to work before I realized it and had to go home to get work shoes.
Angie | Apr 21, 2010
Funny and very true…..My infant was sitting on the carpet when she had an explosion in her diaper, thus getting it all over the carpet. Had to clean baby and carpet up before rushing to work. Was just a few minutes late, thankfully!
Jennifer | Apr 21, 2010
I was tardy for work once because a mouse was in my living room. The mouse in the living room was stuck in a mouse trap alive and bleeding. It was dragging itself across the floor getting blood on the floor. Gross!! I had to clean it up and the enough courage to clean up the mess.
Nadene Green | Apr 21, 2010
My daughter arrived home after work to find little puddles of purple vomit in several places. Upon investigating she discovered her beloved yorkie had eaten what was left of blackberries left on the bar, compliments of her son, Jarad. Seems as though Chelsea can jump up on the barstools and can help herself to whatever is on it.
Dana was in a panic, immediately calling her vet. She said, “my dog ate blackberries! Are they poisoness? ” The receptionist was shocked, and said, “the batteries to the Blackberry too?” My daughter was incredulous, alarmed at the laughing she heard in the background, and demanded to know what was so funny about her dog being poisoned? Seems the young lady thought she meant the dog ate her Blackberry cell phone! P.S. she didn’t use this as an excuse for being late, but it would be a good one! And for anyone’s information, blackberries are not poisoness if eaten by dogs, but blueberries are.
Jill | Apr 21, 2010
I had to stay home from work one day because part of my face was dyed blue.
maryo | Apr 21, 2010
I have done that too!!
susan | Apr 21, 2010
I had an “eye” problem…..Eye just couldn’t see myself going to work today!!
Katherine | Apr 21, 2010
I was throwing out the trash on the way to my car and my keys got caught on the bag and went into the dumpster, too.
(The sad thing is, this is true. After my fiance went dumpster diving for my keys I disenfected them and went to work. Everyone had a nice laugh at my expense. Now I rarely take out the trash in the morning and when I do my keys are in the OTHER hand.)
Mark | Apr 21, 2010
I had a co-worked who was late everyday but his excuses were so classic they kept him to keep us amused. My favorite was ‘While hurrying to be on-time he turned off his alarm and opened the refrigerator at the same time. Unfortunately, this caused the refrigerator to tip over on top of him and he was trapped. He had to pound Morse Code on the floor until the people in the apartment below until could rescue him.
Don’t you hate it when that happens.
Wendie | Apr 21, 2010
I got stuck in my pants with the zipper half up and down. I had to cut my pants off.
Sherry | Apr 21, 2010
Man, I’m never late, I’m not allowed to be.. if I’m not at work a half hour before my start time, I’m late. Well, I guess, I’m late almost every day.. My excuse is “I don’t have to be here until 7:30″ ..
Jane Doe | Apr 21, 2010
My roommate honestly belives that a ghost kept turning off her alarm clock but her employer (and i) don’t buy it and she wa fired. (i think she just hits the snooze one to manytimes without knowing it)
Scarlet | Apr 21, 2010
I worked as a recruiter for a few years and can honestly say I have heard it all. One of my favorites is “I just can’t get there at 8 because I have to wear pantyhose, 8:30 is the earliest I can get there.”
joe | Apr 21, 2010
i was attacked by leperchauns in my front yard
unfortunatly it didnt work
Joe B | Apr 21, 2010
The person said that they were late because when they woke they found their apartment infested with termites. This caused them to flee without a cell phone, which they needed to call in late. Obviously the termite infestation had priority over the job they had, which provided the pay check that covered the cost of the supposed extermiator. I didn’t even know how to respond to this.
Frankie | Apr 21, 2010
It is a snow day.We don;t have snow here in the south.
Kevin | Apr 21, 2010
Thanx to my Cat , Shadow , ” I had to find my keys becouse my Cat hid them from me “
Hector | Apr 21, 2010
I had one employee tell me, “my train de-railed so that’s why I’m late.” It just so happened that several staff members within the company traveled on the same train line at the same time and she was aware of this.
Same employee took Nyquil and couldn’t wake up. Same employee had to take her dog to the Hospital and have a cast put on its leg (she didn’t own a dog). Same employee’s grandmother died 3 times. Needless to say, she was fired.
Beth | Apr 21, 2010
I don’t know what happened. I have three alarms clocks and none of them worked.
Teresa | Apr 21, 2010
I had to stop and pull a dead cat out of the road. I didn’t want it to get run over again.
chives | Apr 21, 2010
You see, it’s a complicated process called photosynthesis
Sara | Apr 21, 2010
In defense of the “My car door fell off” excuse, I have actually had this happen to me. I only had one car (the one with the missing door), and I lived an hour away from my job via highway. Speeds of 70 mph and a missing car door do not go hand in hand.
Summer | Apr 21, 2010
I know my boss thought this was a lame excuse and didn’t believe me, but I was late one morning to work because my boyfriend got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and turned on the space heater in there. My bedroom is on the same circuit as the bathroom, so when he turned on the space heater, there was just way too much for that circuit:
lamp
space heater
alarm clock
heating blanket
room light
bathroom light
bathroom space heater
The fuse blew and the power in both the bathroom and bedroom went out. And, of course, my alarm never went off in the morning. I was an hour and a half late. Would have been later except that my dog wouldn’t leave me alone cause he wanted his breakfast.
Samantha | Apr 21, 2010
I feel that being late is not acceptable anywhere. Not work, appointments, meetings, plans with friends or family…..
Sure i understand it happens sometimes but then you find out the problem, correct it and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
People are relying on you to be where you said you whould be, when you said you would be there. If you cannot manage that much what good is your word.
I have been at my current job for 6 years and I have been late once. I was at work on time but when I went to unlock my office door I realized I had the wrong set of keys and had to go back home and get the right ones. I now make sure i have the right ones.
The lame excusesabout being late becuase you were getting your kids ready or you woke up late are fixable. Wake up earlier to get your kids ready if you know it’s a difficult task and skip breakfast and move fast if you woke up late.
Comeon people take responsibility for yourself!
Kathy P. | Apr 21, 2010
The ferry had a flat!!!
No one | Apr 21, 2010
I had someone call in stupid once and another call in with a 24 hour brain tumor.
Mouse | Apr 21, 2010
my coworkers and I like to call in with an eye problem. It’s for those times when we just can’t see ourselves coming to work…
Jai | Apr 21, 2010
the best excuse i heard was, i was having sex and i went over the time. sorry for being late blame my wife.
Don | Apr 21, 2010
I had one on my employees call in and tell me he could not come in to work because his wife did not want to watch the 15 year old kid at home today, (she is a stay at home mom & it was spring break time for the kid)
Kelly | Apr 21, 2010
I was late to work once due to a flat tire. When I got to work my boss and co-workers teased me because I’m never late (I’m your typical morning person). They teased, saying “Knowing you, Kelly, you probably did have a flat tire.” insuating that I would make something like that up.
Shawn | Apr 21, 2010
My all time favorite. Friends employee called in naked. Lived in his moms house in upstairs bedroom and in the middle of the night while he was sleeping someone stole all his clothes.
james brown | Apr 21, 2010
ahahahahahaahahaha whoever looks at this is freaking dumb!!!!!!!!!
Barbie | Apr 21, 2010
Obviously the ghost wasn’t a morning person either.
ali | Apr 21, 2010
The low excuses in the workplaces are fair results from the new colony and inhuman exploitations enforced by the employers in cooperation with decision/policy makers.
When dealing with humanbeing, someone is supposed to observe certain decorum and code of conduct.
aprop | Apr 21, 2010
I got in a fight with my wife. and i said “the hell with it, i’m not going to work” (true story)
hannah | Apr 21, 2010
I could not go to school because it was cute hair day and i don’t know how tofix my hair @14 years old!!! but my nothead fix my hair and he made it freaky looking!!!!!!!!
jonnie wilson | Apr 21, 2010
i left my cell phone on the counter and my dog ate it and then i had to run to work because the repo man came and took my car
RJ | Apr 21, 2010
I showed up at my old job. Then realized I don’t work there any more.
debbie | Apr 21, 2010
I have a friend who was late all the time her excuse was the dog next door is blind and was headen to the cliff so i had to go get him or i was picking berrys and i lost track of time or my clocks right your clock is wrong or i had to go to the doctors for my depo shots or my mon @ dad are out of town and i for got to feed the cats. in the long run she did start geting to work on time after she got the right boyfriend,
Joyce | Apr 21, 2010
I am going to be late as the cows got out!
francis | Apr 21, 2010
its true people get late bz of many excse, bt we need to accept the morng mood is so impotat for da lest of the day.so no excs 4 1 to give wen u reach at working place late bt ua att is accepted as yu carry on ua duty.
Chloe | Apr 21, 2010
Those are lame accuses! Teh biggest accuse you would need would be; My mother had a heart attack,(or dad), there was traffic jam, and most of all,i tripped and fell down the stairs! Those ones are the best.
Greg | Apr 21, 2010
someone broke into my apt last night and stole all my clothes.
Soylent Grin | Apr 21, 2010
I think you mean “corroborate” John.
Brenda | Apr 21, 2010
It’s CORROBORATE, not collaborate!
francis | Apr 21, 2010
do u stop to eat if ua late?no”u eat ad rest,so no need to give excse whatsover.bt let work past to recover time lost.
sceeker | Apr 21, 2010
my mom made a surprise visit
Patrick Nicholson | Apr 21, 2010
My favorite, I had an employee tell me he was going to be late because he had washed and detailed his car the night before and he was not going to drive it in to work until it stopped raining ?
Ingrid Forsyth | Apr 21, 2010
The car started fine. However it would not move. My tires were frozen into the gutter ice of the curb.
Eddie | Apr 21, 2010
My latest excuse…..
Someone changed the the punch clock over night or I wouldn’t be late because when I punched out yesterday my watch was the same time as the punch clock, why would someone want to do something like that??????????
Mary Ann | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee say he couldn’t come in because he locked his shoes in the bedroom.
Marc | Apr 21, 2010
I had some ticks on my body that I could not see to remove myself, so my spouse was removing them.
Marc | Apr 21, 2010
I had a case of temporary blindness–I just could not see myself coming in to work this morning.
Rob | Apr 21, 2010
I could not be later if I wanted to. Even if I try to be late, I am still early.
I’ll be early for my own funeral. By my book there is no excuse for lateness
greg gardner | Apr 21, 2010
Another great excuse often used in the corporate world:
“I thought we had three hour flex time of Fridays?”
Janet | Apr 21, 2010
I always blame it on my husband because he keeps track of the alarm clock.
Sean | Apr 21, 2010
I was late once because my summer tires were no good in the snow and had to be replaced. My boss didn’t believe me.
Marc | Apr 21, 2010
My child was sick last night, and I knew that I’d have to stay home the next day with them, so I didn’t feel the need to go to bed at my normal time. This morning, my child felt fine, but I didn’t get enough rest, so I am staying home to sleep.
bill | Apr 21, 2010
i fainted on the toilet
Lee Farmington farmington NM | Apr 21, 2010
Some one broke into my house and lef tkreptonite On the floor and I couldn’t move
Marc | Apr 21, 2010
I looked outside and saw some snow on my driveway, so I didn’t want to risk driving.
Lee Farmington farmington NM | Apr 21, 2010
someone broke into my house and left a “GREEN glowing rock I couldn’t move at all
Norma | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee who was saving her whole check to pay cash for a new car. the day after she bought it, she called in saying she could not find the light switch to turn on the car’s headlights.
Teresa | Apr 21, 2010
An employee called and said they would be late due to a family emergency…turns out they were auditioning for American Idol!!!
Christy | Apr 21, 2010
The reason I was late for work? I was locked inside my house and had to call my landlord to climb through my window to dismantle my door from the inside.
jonathan | Apr 21, 2010
i had to get a eraser out of my kids nose
freddie | Apr 21, 2010
I have a young rooster as a pet who likes to pick up and hide my car keys..
fidel | Apr 21, 2010
i arrived in late because i had diarriah
Kurt | Apr 21, 2010
9 to 5? Must be nice! I have an “8 to 5″ job. I’m there before 7 every morning and lucky if I can get out by 5. Where do I find one of those 9 to 5′s? I don’t think they exist in my State.
Chad | Apr 21, 2010
I was terminated from a career as a computer programmer for being tardy. I had a legitimate excuse, I have a chronic health condition, Multiple Sclerosis. Due to a lame technicality with the paperwork, I lost the case in arbitration, along with my doctor not backing me up. I am now on permanent disability and am no longer able to work. If your employer tries to get you to sign an arbitration agreement, DON’T. Go find another job, arbitration agreements are so unfair to the employee it’s ridiculous.
Linda | Apr 21, 2010
I couldn’t find my car keys; they were in the refrigerator.
liberallover | Apr 21, 2010
My Mother has demensia and decided we ran a drive through fast food chain for cats, and had the street window open this morning and was being mauled by feral felines when I woke up.
Laughing Manager | Apr 21, 2010
Had an employee tell me he was at the FBI building being questioned about a matter he would rather not talk about. Unfortunately for him, my spouse works for the FBI and said they hadn’t questioned anyone for weeks!!
pfatdamo | Apr 21, 2010
how bout my babysitters dog died
Stephanie | Apr 21, 2010
That actually happened to me…my keys were in my fridge…thankfully I wasn’t on my way to work.
Regar J Nagol | Apr 21, 2010
I skinned my knee rollerblading to my car and had to buy stuff to clean it with.
Jim Guibord | Apr 21, 2010
I had to take my dog to the vet because ti had sunburnt eyes.
Doug | Apr 21, 2010
Back in about 1980, I had an insurance broker that was usually a half hour late for appointmemts. He was good enough to call and say he was cout in a traffic jam on the 520 floating bride going from Seattle to Bellevue, Washington. He didn’t realize I could see that bridge from my desk! Shame on him!
Chris | Apr 21, 2010
The best that I received was ” I was picked up and interigated by the CIA about my former boss. When they found out what they wanted, they let me go”. kind of hard to prove and would a new boss really want to?
The best for not showing up at all was “I cought leprosy and had to be treated”
Maiden | Apr 21, 2010
more than 34% of employers have fired somebody for being late because it is a way to fire you. I was fired for being late, once…in two years. I had an outstanding promotion record over those two years, almost doubled my salary by getting promoted so many times. Sometimes hard workers get put in a place where you nolonger have a spot but were put there to “keep you in the company” then they fire you for some bullshit reason.
Sally | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee to tell they had been to work, when in actually they never called or showed up to work…
Gabby | Apr 21, 2010
“My dog swallowed my cell phone” this one is actually funny because my Great Dane did eat my phone, it is, well was, a nokia Xpress, and any owners of that phone know exactly how small the phone is. Bruce, the Great Dane, swallowed it whole, so I had to call in to take, Bruce to the vet and later have the phone surgically removed.
Jennett | Apr 21, 2010
i got locked in a telephone booth
Cathy | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me that her eyelashes fell out.
Tekla | Apr 21, 2010
I have anal glycoma. I can’t see my a@@ coming into work today.
Beth | Apr 21, 2010
We had a co-worker who called in tired, one hour after she was supposed to have been at work.
Beverly | Apr 21, 2010
Just as I was entering the building….a bird let “loose” on my shoulder. Had to in the car and return home to change clothes.
don | Apr 21, 2010
Wife tied me to bed and left for work early.
Wispurr | Apr 21, 2010
There’s a moose next to my car and I’m waiting for her to move away.
There’s a bear in my yard and I’m not going out until he leaves.
(Alaskan excuses—true stories.)
Debbie Ferkingstad | Apr 21, 2010
I was a supervisor at a nursing home. One day a nursing assistant called in stating she was unable to work because her uniform pants were “chafing” her legs!!
Laura | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me once that she had cramps and couldn’t come in until they were gone. I asked if she took any motrin and she said, “yes”, but the cramps are on my left side and it doesn’t work on that side.
It is funny to me though. When you a manager or business owner you hardly ever or even never, late or sick.
cm | Apr 21, 2010
my dog/cat peed on my bed
my pet escaped from its cage
my kids broke my alarm clock and i forgot about it
my car broke down
my pet had babies
sadie tens | Apr 21, 2010
my late uncle use to come up with some pretty interesting excuses. here are my favs: i’m calling in dead today. and one time when we had plans to go to a concert in july: i’m snowed in!
Bob | Apr 21, 2010
A cop was trying to race me on the freeway so I had to pull over to the side of the road to report him because, you know, it’s illegal to talk on your cell phone while driving in California.
Conway | Apr 21, 2010
I had a guy in class that would say he was late to work because his roomate kept turning off his alarm clock in the morning!
Samuel | Apr 21, 2010
My rooster died.
R. | Apr 21, 2010
the best one i have ever heard was this one : ( i was a unioin steward at the time and was called in by management to be a witnesss to a verbal warning to an employee for being late on many occasions ) . PS> This is TRUE
The employee was asked why he was consistently late for his shifts within the last 2 months , and also was asked if he had any problems he was dealing with , and why was he late for his shift today ( 2 hrs. late ) .
The employee answered ( about this latest occurrence ) : Qote : I woke up and forgot i had a job !!
I was speechless !
Lola | Apr 21, 2010
I have a co worker who is constantly using the lamest excuses
“My cat peed on my head”
“There was a dead horse in the middle of the road”
“I was pulled over by US immigration”
“I have no food at home”
“My car was repossesed”
And a couple days later……………
“I was pulled over on the way here and my car was impounded for expired tags”…uhmm isn’t your car repossed?
Pretty entertaining!
ingrid | Apr 21, 2010
My back won’t move fast in the morning, when it is too painfull, and never took a painkiller as this would make me want to go back to sleep! This was true today, although many other times have got to work on time in spite of my lower back pain.
Another time I missed the turn off, (my mind was on another planet) which made me over half an hour late!
Bob | Apr 21, 2010
I shit myself.
erin | Apr 21, 2010
One of my co-workers is late 2-3 days a week. His excuse ( excuses ) are, i had a pretty big party last night, im stuck at the rail road tracks, ive been in the McDonalds drive thru for 30 minutes. He always uses those excuses in order.
samie makienzie | Apr 21, 2010
My mom didn’t wake me on time.
Adam | Apr 21, 2010
My kids decided it was time to play hide and seek when i was trying to get them to school
Samuel | Apr 21, 2010
My rooster died.
-Seriously? I might look kind of funny but I’m no fool.
I flex you not sir; it fell of the roof.
-Haha. Why do have a rooster anyway?
I don’t like alarm clocks.
sugarmama | Apr 21, 2010
My baby has the bug that is going around so I had to take her to the doctor.
sue | Apr 21, 2010
I went to the gas station and didnt have money or my credit card with me.So i had to hitch hike back to my house to get the money.When i got thereI didnt have any money so I got some from the guy that drove me.It put me behind.
Leeanna | Apr 21, 2010
Hey, this really happened to me! My toddler put them in there to keep me home with him!
tayor | Apr 21, 2010
my dog disposed of his waste in my purse!!!!!!!!!
Dale | Apr 21, 2010
i saw a flee on my cat and decided to shave it
Cindy | Apr 21, 2010
Had an employee that said his grandmother died, used this excuse at least 3 times…???
Zayd | Apr 21, 2010
Traffic Jam !!! :@
Deanne | Apr 21, 2010
One of my employees told me that she did not come to work (or call in ) “because she had DRAMA”.
LAB | Apr 21, 2010
I can see this one working. For me, it’s my cell phone. I leave it in the craziest places because I’m usually carrying it along with something else…
diane | Apr 21, 2010
I like the one where the dog ate my cell phone thats funny.I”ll have to use that one.
diane
randomperson | Apr 21, 2010
I had the sme problem with a ghost turning off my alarm, but I think a more logical explanation would be that I woke up, turned off my alarm, fell back asleep, and forgot all about it.
yoko | Apr 21, 2010
I got attacked by an escaped cougar that was hiding in my backyard, but I fought it off bare-handed and returned it to the zoo. (legit, it was on the news)
He was lying of course, and I fired him.
Carey | Apr 21, 2010
My electricity went off in the night and so my alarm clock didn’t go off…
Also, My washing machine sprung a leak and flooded the hallway…,
My babysitter was late…
Le Dude | Apr 21, 2010
I pooped on my clock and then ate my poop.
mike viehl | Apr 21, 2010
my best friends grandmothers friend died.i had to be there.
i have heard millions of moronic stories.i got locked inside my house is a great one.
Lori | Apr 21, 2010
The day after Thanksgiving: I’m too fat to work!
Tammy | Apr 21, 2010
I have anal glacoma
Pam S. | Apr 21, 2010
I got a hair brush stuck in my hair and had to go to the salon to get help removing it!
Jeff | Apr 21, 2010
My washer broke and I had to load it up and go buy a new one. Seriously.
Jimmy | Apr 21, 2010
I had a co-worker that said he had a fight that morning with her wife, and she locked the bathroom with a padlock, requiring to call a locksmith to get out
Lori Abbond | Apr 21, 2010
I used to get in “talked to” for showing early. (I like to cushion my time just in case something unexpected happens to make me late, but my job did not like me showing up early. If I was late it was for a very good reason.) I few years back I was late because there was a murder, a decapitated head, on the side of the freeway and traffic was BAD.
GK | Apr 21, 2010
I had employee not show up at all and then call the next afternoon stating that he had to get a rabies shot and had to go out of town to do it.
Spitt | Apr 21, 2010
Being a multi-website owner and relying on it for my sole means of support, the only lateness I usually have is with my partners – or if I don’t wake at my normal time, which happens to be 10am. Don’t think I am getting extra sleep though. Normally I goto bed at 2am-3:30 am.
The only reason I would have in the last month for being unable to work, would be “Sorry I am late, my Hard Drive crashed”. Of course, I also have proof, in a dead HDD to prove it.
Burton | Apr 21, 2010
The devil loosened my lugnuts!
ericccka | Apr 21, 2010
“My car died” or “I got a flat tire” usually work okay
Rick Hadden | Apr 21, 2010
I can’t find my pants
Don B. | Apr 21, 2010
My employees are always saying.
I ran out of gas.
Had to wait for the kids get home.
We only have one car and I had to wait for my wife/ husband to return home.
jack | Apr 21, 2010
I’ve had many but one of my favorites is: I fell asleep on the bus and I ended up on the other side of town!
Michelle | Apr 21, 2010
Locked my keys in the house, Yes, I have done this several times. Gotta get an extra key.
Jennie | Apr 21, 2010
I am late because it’s raining. If he continues to use this excuse he will never be anywhere on time. We live in Seattle, Washington.
So wild | Apr 21, 2010
An employee said she was coming home from doctor and was in the car and told boyfriend that she had Herpes and he pushed her out of the car.
justin | Apr 21, 2010
i actually woke up handcuffed to a bed post (that’s a story for another time), AND didn’t remember where i was… try explaining that to you’re boss.
Michelle | Apr 21, 2010
It was foggy and I got lost.
Ann | Apr 21, 2010
There is too much traffic I am turning around and going home! (Really)
Julie | Apr 21, 2010
A very lame excuse a co-worker once used: “I got lost in the fog.”
trevor | Apr 21, 2010
I thought it was saturday.
carol | Apr 21, 2010
my grandfather died. the third time this excuse was used in one year.
trevor | Apr 21, 2010
I saw a cat in a tree and I just had to rescue it.
Wayne | Apr 21, 2010
I shot my husband last night and I’m not out of jail yet.
Tatiana | Apr 21, 2010
An elephant ran away from a circus and just lay over the highway so i had to wait until the tamers came to get him
Martha | Apr 21, 2010
I lost my American Express card, and I cannot leave home without it…
Jashqwana | Apr 21, 2010
I had no clean underwear
dissa | Apr 21, 2010
my dog ate my daughters lunch money (this is true)
Colette, Homestead, Florida | Apr 21, 2010
Due to a power outage during the night (and this happens in South Miami, FL often), my alarm clock was automatically re-set, and I was a couple of hours late.
JOHN | Apr 21, 2010
I had an older employee tell me he woke up with an errection, and his wife was very interested and neither of those things happened very often, and that was his reason for being late. He was usually very punctual but I did notice that day, he was very productive.
allan | Apr 21, 2010
the train had a flat
David | Apr 21, 2010
I locked my keys in my car, while it was running.
Patrick | Apr 21, 2010
One place I worked, it used to be a common joke that if someone didn’t show up we said they called in with “Eye trouble”; i.e. they “Just couldn’t see coming in to work today.”
Shirley | Apr 21, 2010
A co-worker of mine use the excuse that she burned her eye with the curling iron and couldn’t see the phone to call in sick! Go figger!
allan | Apr 21, 2010
I went blind and could’nt see my seilf comming in today.
Martha | Apr 21, 2010
Actually, here is a real excuse that kept me home from work back in the 1980s. I was a US consular officer in Auckland NZ and spent too much time out in the antipodal sun one weekend. On Monday, I was so sunburnt that I could not tolerate any suitable work attire. When I phoned my boss, the consul general, to say that I could not come in to the consulate because I had a sunburn, he minimized the issue and insisted that I tough it out. Finally, when I said, “Well, I could always work in the nude!” I got the day off without further ado.
Matt | Apr 21, 2010
My wife’s husband past away.
jarrid | Apr 21, 2010
i had an employee tell me that he could not get his car door open because it was frozen. And this was in the summer!!!
Crystal | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee tell me that she just put her shirt in the dryer and will be late. I also had the same person call out because her turtle was sick.
Lauren | Apr 21, 2010
In an attemt to kill a bee, I crashed my car into a telephone pole.
Holly | Apr 21, 2010
I fell in the pool on accident and had to change my clothes and dry my hair.
Elaine | Apr 21, 2010
When I woke up, I thought it was Saturday.
Colin | Apr 21, 2010
I was trying to get my wife pregnant.
Steph | Apr 21, 2010
My daughter who was 3 at the time locked herself in a closet a few minutes before we had to leave to get her to the babysitters.
Lourdes | Apr 21, 2010
We had a receptionist who claimed her car was stuck in reverse. She lived in the next town over from work. She let it slip the next day that she took her mother to the dentist which is in the same town as the office. She had to have driven roughly about 30 miles – backwards! Yeah, right!
Joe Rigsby | Apr 21, 2010
I fell off the roof after an extreme game of ultimate frisbee
ALAN | Apr 21, 2010
MY WIFE AROUSES EARLY MORINING
Patrick | Apr 21, 2010
I forgot I had to work today!! Thought it was Sunday!!
Jackie | Apr 21, 2010
This is one that I had to use, but only once, and it was the truth:
“I’m going to be late today because my truck decided to keep going left when I wanted to go right and I am now sitting in a ditch with snow up to my window. I’m waiting for a tractor to come pull me out, but I’ll be there as soon as I get out of the ditch, of course, this is assuming my truck will run. “
Joy Smither | Apr 21, 2010
I had an employee call upset and crying to say she would be late. Something was terribly wrong with her dog. He could barely stand up and walked unsteadily. She took him to the vet. It turns out he had finished off the leftover drinks on the coffee table from the evening before. He was drunk!
Another employee missed work entirely. She called to say she would not be in to work because it was really raining hard. It was sunny where her job site was. She said she had to ride the bus and didn’t want to get wet! Umbrella?
Heather | Apr 21, 2010
We were driving back from San Antonio to Pennsylvania, and there was a 2 ft copperhead snake in the car. Between the time it took for highway patrol and animal control to get there and take care of it, it put us behind, and my husband was not able to get to work the next day. His boss said it sound a little too much like “the dog ate my homework” excuse. So my husband took pictures of the snake wrapped around my steering wheel. As a side note, the little bugger made his appearance by crawling up my leg into the steering wheel as I was driving…I was not getting back into my car that night!
Becky | Apr 21, 2010
LOL @ Linda’s reason..My company is more relaxed on this, so I’ve never called in with a silly excuse..
Joy Smither | Apr 21, 2010
Something is wrong with my dog. He can barely stand up. Took him to vet. He was drunk from finishing drinks left on coffee table overnight.
kelly | Apr 21, 2010
we had a power outage and im having trouble getting the electric garage doors open
Amy | Apr 21, 2010
True stuff, no kidding, I called in late to work because I was locked IN my third floor apartment. The building was old and oftened needed maintenance, including my door which went through a few lock sets. The problem was that I couldn’t turn the handle from the inside and passersby couldn’t turn it from the outside; it was just stuck. The handy man finally came by about thirty minutes later to free me from my prison. Had I thought about unscrewing the entire handle from the door myself, I would have been gone by the time he finally showed up. So embarassing!
Kathy | Apr 21, 2010
My friend’s dog really did eat her husband’s cell phone!
sam | Apr 21, 2010
Autumn ate my pants.
howard | Apr 21, 2010
slept late, when boss and sheriff showed up , they scared me so bad wakeing me up , it gave me a heart attack, Boss stood 7ft 2 in , sheriff was a real bubba, weighing 385 lbs , now if that don’t give you heart attack, you must be dead.
Sam | Apr 21, 2010
i squeezed the toothpaste too hard and had to put it alll back in the tube.
Daren | Apr 21, 2010
I put my car keys in the refrigerator all the time so I won’t forget my lunch. Its never made me late however.
SD | Apr 21, 2010
This is an actual email that I received this morning: 4-21-10
So I did a stupid thing last night and had too much to drink on a weeknight. I’ve been up all morning sicker than a dog but trying to rally to make it to work but I can’t hold down air at this point let alone water so I think the long drive to work is beyond my capabilities at this time. I’m really sorry, I usually don’t drink much except on weekends, its cause I’m on this Atkins diet so I can’t have beer and I guess I can’t handle vodka anymore without getting sick.
SAI | Apr 21, 2010
I WAS PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE, BUT HE DIDNT GIVE ME A TICKET.
Louise | Apr 21, 2010
I once had an employee tell me that he was a full time streaker and that’s why he was late. He had to streak down his block. He wanted to moon his neighbors because they stole his mailbox. I have no idea if this is true or not, but that is what he said.
Holli | Apr 21, 2010
My kids hid my shoes under the kitchen sink…..
Jenene | Apr 21, 2010
The line was too long at Sonic (McDonald’s) and I couldn’t get my food.
J. R. Cohn | Apr 21, 2010
Best excuse for recessionary times: “I forgot I hadn’t been laid off yet”.
Kenny | Apr 21, 2010
My child had a fever or was sick…? :\
George | Apr 21, 2010
My wife wanted to get pregnant and thought I should be there.
Tony Bayudan | Apr 21, 2010
The bus/train was late… Darn that public transportation.
Falon | Apr 21, 2010
The teaher came around to pick up our homework and this one guy was finishing while she was coming and he said” i finished it i just wanted to add more detail”… yeah whatever and the teacher belived him
David W. Geraci | Apr 21, 2010
My bike fell off my bike rack and nearly hit another car.
Joedan | Apr 21, 2010
I was late because i got shot in my leg and had to have surgery.
Ionut | Apr 21, 2010
yesterday was my girlfriend’s birthday and we celebrated .. all night .. sorry. i’m late, usually my wife wakes me up
Jayden | Apr 21, 2010
I got hit by a bus and i had to crawl here.
Jayden | Apr 21, 2010
My mom and i got in a fight so i had to walk. From a 34 year old.
Karyn | Apr 21, 2010
I used to work in restaurants and heard a couple of times, “I needed to take some extra time to sober up before my shift started.” Seriously.
clara orr | Apr 21, 2010
My daughter broke her arm and had a new baby so I once had to leave work to go burp the baby.
Tim | Apr 21, 2010
She kept pulling me back into bed and wouldn’t let me up
Ed | Apr 21, 2010
I got busted for dealing drugs and it took awhile to get out on bond.
andy | Apr 21, 2010
i hear this guy said that the electricity went out only on his block
Katie | Apr 21, 2010
This is actually a true reason for being late. I once put my purse in my car, then walked the trash to the street. I came back to my car and it was locked…with my keys inside sitting right next to my cell phone. I don’t have a house phone so I had to log on to my computer and email my boss what had happened. I also had to email my parents because they still had the spare key to the car. Of course, then I had to wait for someone to email me back that they were on the way! Took an hour….
DJ | Apr 21, 2010
OK THIS ISNT ABOUT BEING LATE BUT I HAVE ACTUALY HAD FRIENDS SAY THAT MY DOG ATE MY HOME WORK
Stan | Apr 21, 2010
this is so retarded. if you use any of thoes excuses with me i will fire you on the spot
Loko | Apr 21, 2010
A worker of mine said a robber robed them stole there car keys the drove the car to Canada then came back the same night then they went to the police and told them and they have a 2 year old a 5 year old a 8 year old and a 12 year old!!!
Kym | Apr 21, 2010
One of the employees where I formerly worked that took the cake (I literally kept a book of the excuses I heard): My wife shot our neighbor and he was my ride.
Alison | Apr 21, 2010
I told my boss a was to lazy and fat to get out of bed and ate chips drank pop thats why i was a month late
Sandy | Apr 21, 2010
a work said they had a baby and they were 13 at the time and now they just had twins names Daniel and Daniell and there 20 and ONLY have them
Sandy | Apr 21, 2010
A worker said they had a baby and they were only 13 at the time and now they just had twins named Daniel and Daniell and she is 20 and ONLY has 2 kids
Ken | Apr 21, 2010
I had a lady call me at home early one morning to tell me her car broke down out of town and she could not make it to work that day. I told her well I can swing by and pick you up on my way to work. She was puizzled. This was when caller ID first came about. I said well the MOTEL 6 you are calling from is on the way, meet me at the front desk. She declined the ride, but she was at work by the time I got there.
You reference moving work days to start at 10:00 AM. What dream world do you live in? I am a Manager in a hospital. As managers our hours are not “scheduled” but the “expectation” is we are here before 8:00 AM (I often meet with the CEO at 7:30 AM) and we are here until at least 5:00 PM, later if working on projects. I do not know of very many jobs today that actually have a 9 – 5. We used to joke about bankers hours and most of them are now open 8-6 and half a day on Saturday.
Gabby | Apr 21, 2010
I Swallowed A Fly And A Blade Of Grass So I Got Surgery
jimmy | Apr 21, 2010
I thought the time change so i set my clock back 1 hr
cas | Apr 21, 2010
some days they’re just lucky I show up at all
Rachael | Apr 21, 2010
I must defend the last “and then there are the excuses….” bullet, because I WAS late one morning after my dog decided to eat my phone.
Thankfully it’s only happened once so far, but I would take their word for it.
cathy | Apr 21, 2010
THE BEST EXCUSE EVER – I WAS WALKING TO WORK AND GOT TRAPPED BY A PARADE OF ELEPHANTS (THE CIRCUS WAS REALLY HERE AND THEY REALLY HAD A PARADE) WHO COULD GET MAD AT HIM (I SURE COULD NOT LOL)
annette | Apr 21, 2010
Reason I was really late for work: My garage door broke and could not get the car out of the garage… for real! I could not lift it myself either.
Diana | Apr 22, 2010
I forgot my personal belongings at home so I had to return for them
deemarie | May 9, 2010
THe best one I ever heard was a nurses aid called off because her child was sick. it took a little while before we figured out that this particular person didnt even have a child.
bridgette | May 13, 2010
This is a true story. I was late to work one morning because my two year old locked the cat in the cupboard with the pots and pans… By the time I discovered where the cat screaming was coming from the kitty had pooped all over the cupboard and the pots and pans! GROSS!! I was too poor to throw them all away so I had to clean it all up before going to work. I gagged the whole time! Yeah, I know…
Timesucks | May 13, 2010
A strict schedule is just crazy. Its like a form of torture. Wake up, get dressed, rush to jump in the car only to hurry up and wait in traffic like every other employee due to arrive at work at the same exact time everyday. Why do we all have to be trained chimps anyways? Life is too short to do the same exact thing 5 days a week for 30+ years.
Bill Miller | May 13, 2010
Had to pick up my one armed uncle at the airport because he had two suit cases.
Lou | May 13, 2010
I didn’t come up with this, but it’s the best I’ve ever heard:
The voices in my head told me to stat home and clean all of the guns.
confused | May 13, 2010
huh? Couldn’t understand this one
Papa Dokes | May 13, 2010
This is a true story:
There was a real big turtle crossing the road and I had to stop and get it. I placed it on my keys in the trunk and slammed it shut when it tried to bite me. I had to take the back seat out of the car while still stuck in the middle of my land and had to use a coat hanger to hook my keys and get them out. Stupid turtle bit the hanger and would not let go. I was an hour late getting back from my lunch break
Karen | May 13, 2010
True Story: Someone egged my car and I had to run it through the car wash so the paint wouldnt be damaged.
hootocol | May 13, 2010
Nickyg…. Please do NOT join the USMC. We depend on those guys to defend our country and, based on your comments, I wouldn’t depend on you to feed my dog…. at least not without complaining or wanting a raise every time I get one.
alaska chick | May 13, 2010
I commute by bike, and have been delayed more than once by moose on the road or blocking the trail, so I have to take the long way around. Moose don’t shoo out of the way easily.
I have also left my keys at home–hanging in the deadbolt lock on the outside of the door! I had to go back for them after I got to work and couldn’t get in the office.
danielson | May 13, 2010
walked outside saw what i thought was a cat in my trash kicked it . turned out it was a skunk had to take a bath jn V-8 juice that morning
Jenny | May 13, 2010
I’m exhausted and I need my rest.
Zak | May 13, 2010
“My homework ate my dog.”
Either that, or
“Bad weather made my dog eat the alarm clock and attack my family, and while we escaped we were attacked by muggers who killed my children but as I fought them off the cops arrived and arrested me instead, and once that got cleared up I got drunk and threw up causing my wife to divorce me. How’s your morning been?”
Sharon | May 14, 2010
I work at an elementary school. The same kids are habitually late, almost every day. Guess who is teaching them that(it’s sure not the school)? Wonder what their parents would do if the teachers were not there when the kids arrived.
Steve | May 14, 2010
I had a fellow employee show up a day late plus he was late when he finally did arrive only to give us the excuse that his miniture horse had a baby horse…… Really????
MandatoryFun | May 14, 2010
Tried and true excuses (I’ve only ever used these in emergencies):
My kid threw my phone in the toilet (yes, this one happened– three times)
My exhaust pipe fell off my car (this happened too– a coworker verified since he had to help me jury rig it)
Can’t find my glasses (I’m almost legally blind and can’t drive without them- turns out they were the same place my phone was [see first sentence])
Can’t move my legs (I have trick knees and they decided to be recalcitrant that day)
Had to grab breakfast (I’m hypoglycemic– boss knows if I don;t eat something, I’ll fall out and life will suck anyways)
Laura | May 14, 2010
My daughhter’s bus kept showing up earlier everyday. So, I had to bring her to school my self. Which made me late for my job.
Pam | May 14, 2010
We had an employee call in cuz her two dogs were stuck together.
pam | May 14, 2010
I locked my keys in the car. House keys of course was on the keychain – late and locked out of house and car and cellphone in house!!! Smallest kid crawled in tiny vent window in bathroom to get phone to call for help.
Neos | May 14, 2010
Our teacher has never been on time -.- if its not a problem with the racoons stealing his keys, the bear stole his tire, he sliced a chunk of finger making lunch, had rabbits chew his ignition wires, had the garage door fall on him, needed to clean up the mess a deer made in his kitchen, or had to clean up the corpse of a wolf he had to shoot…. god damn hes unlucky this year
LocoPele | May 14, 2010
I ran out of Total and had to eat 20 boxes of shreaded wheat to get my minimum daily nutrition.
jusilton06 | May 21, 2010
my cat unplugged my alarm clock
a lame excues | May 21, 2010
the building gate wasn’t opening so my car was inside the under-garage and so i came walking to work
Didi | May 21, 2010
1. My garage door is broken, with my inside of it!
2. My dog got out of yard and ran away.
Kelly | May 22, 2010
I was really, really late for my Biology test because my garage door had frozen and my car was trapped inside. No, I didn’t get to retake the test.
tomcat | May 23, 2010
you know if everybody got paid like most of thier bosses , some if not all would get to work actually early. so you anal bosses friggin ease up we all know yall are driven by a spirt of GREED; NOW GO AN THINK ABOUT IT YALL;
tomcat | May 23, 2010
why do yall think the USA is havin money problems ,by tha way no one needs a PHD or Doctrine . crap its simple its called GREED damnit
Kishlansky | May 23, 2010
I worked with a guy once who, no lie, called in and said he had smoked too much crack the night before and could not make it in… somehow he kept his job for awhile too..
Tracy | May 24, 2010
I have to stay home today because the voices in my head told me to stay home and clean my gun collection.
Laura | May 24, 2010
I have worked retail,(over 30+ yrs of working)
and therefore my ‘shift’ to work could be 6 am, 10 am, noon, 4 pm almost any time of day. Shit happens all the time. Some of the REAL, but Weird, reasons I have personally had to use:
A City truck hit a tree and knocked it over across the street – I can’t drive out of my neighborhood until they clear the fallen tree.
A School bus ran aground trying to turn around in my neighbor’s drive and is blocking the end of the street.
(in both cases, this is a problem because I live on a tiny, very steeply hilled, dead end street – it gets blocked all the time by idiots who think they can ‘cut thru’ the neighborhood and don’t realize it’s an extrememly narrow, dead end with no turn-around. We’ve also had water main breaks, downed power lines and light poles – but they didn’t happen to interfere with my
work schedule )
One day (before cell phones) my brake line went out on the way to work – 3 blocks from home. I sailed thru a red light without hitting anyone, made it home by SLOWLY taking residential streets and bumping curbs to slow down. I took my husband’s car after I called work telling them why I was late. The next day while driving me to work – he totaled our other car by rear ending a semi-truck getting on the interstate. I called my boss and said – you know that vacation time I have saved up? I think I’m gonna use it NOW!
Then there’s Winter weather….
I gave up my all wheel drive/ high clearance older gas guzzler (which ALWAYS got me to work, even if weather or traffic was bad) for a more economical small front wheel drive when I took a job that required a 45 min, one-way commute….
I’m sitting in a farmer’s field, boss…..where I skidded with this D*** front wheel drive….
My car is stuck at the bottom of my driveway – the frame is stuck on the snowplow pile.
My kid’s car doors are frozen shut – so he took MY car!(without telling me)
My Ex didn’t pick-up/ drop off the kids on time.
My son used my car and left the gas tank empty – I had to stop for gas.
My step-sons car caught fire in the drive and we’re waiting for the tow truck to move it so I can get mine out of the garage
One kid hit the other kids car in the driveway……
Even new cars cause problems…. 2 weeks after I bought it, the fancy electronics on my new/ slightly used car completely locked down my car in a store parking lot, after the RADIO went out on it. It had a security device I didn’t know it had!
The theres home ownership….
The city sewer backed up in my basement. (luckily storm sewer – not septic – but still Gross!)
There’s a live bird in my furnace flue and I’m waiting for the repairman to get it out before it gets to the furnace itself..
Broken pipes (old house)/ flooded basement/ waiting for the plumber…
and Pets…..
My cat brought me a bird/ chipmunk/ mouse this morning, and it wasn’t dead! now it’s loose in the house!
My dog had a seisure on my bed (she has epilepsy and looses bladder control sometimes during a seisure)
the cat got in a fight last night and I ‘m taking him to the vet.
——–
I always tried to call my employer BEFORE I am actually late if something happens – because, lets face it – stuff happens and it never times itself convieniently. Most of my employers have been understanding, especially if they KNOW I am telling the TRUTH and give them time and options to deal with my being late or absent. Such as offering to stay later, or call a replacement – and always being willing to adapt MY schedule to accomodate my boss’s changing needs, too. They knew they could depend on me to work split shifts if needed for coverage, or to cover for others that called in sick/ late or had to get home ahead of bad weather, etc.
But I am currently UNEMPLOYED right now, and not elegible for unemployment
insurance because of being fired for being late too often. How often was I late? 4 unexcused lates in THREE MONTHS got me fired from a good job. A missed day or ‘late’ could only be ‘excused ‘ if I had a note from a doctor, a traffic ticket proving an accident, or some other documented ‘proof’ of reason to be absent – even for being a few minutes late! They used their overly strict policies to reduce their payroll for economic reasons. If they could fire me for cause – they didn’t have to pay unemployment.
(my 18 yr old son worked for a different store in the chain, and he got fired in the SAME MONTH – for a different minor ’cause’. He was fired for missing dept meetings – meetings that were held on nights he was SENT HOME EARLY because of low sales/ dept not making payroll)
Now tell me, how important is it, in the whole scheme of things – to be EXACTLY ‘on time’, ALL the time? Is the world going to come to a screeching halt if a store doesn’t open at 6 am and opens at 6:05?
Amy | May 24, 2010
i am late almost every day because as i leave, my darling little 3 year old daughter wants a dozen hugs & kisses and then says ‘let’s cuddle for a minute’ when i say no it makes her sad & i’d rather be late then feel like a bad mom. she doesn’t grasp the concept of work or a job so i can’t say she’s manipulating me. i’d rather cuddle with her anyway
Star | May 24, 2010
I showed up at a potential job on time of course, while I was in the interview a lady came in and identified my vehicle. When I said yes that was in fact my car she said well it’s got cat coming out of it.
It seems my son had left the back window open and all of the cats in the neighborhood had gotten into my car it stay warm. (We lived in Bend Oregon) It gets pretty cold at night sometimes. Long story short I finished the interview then took care of what cats were left in the car.
Loren | May 24, 2010
I am a single mom of a 4 year old boy, whom on most days will cooperate and participate in getting dressed and allowing me to get ready for work with no major interruptions. HOWEVER, on some days, I am so challenged with waking up NLT 4:30 a.m. to get myself together, have 15 minutes of “me” time and not feel like I am losing myself. And then here it comes, spilled coffee all over the counter, my son jumping from side to side on the bed, whining I want to watch t.v. etc.. Then there is the challenge of brushing teeth, combing hair. Oh My God, someone just shoot me!! It takes me an hour to get to work ( a local commute) as I have to take my son to preschool, drop him off and then fight to get out the door while he’s breaking my heart asking me for 5 minutes. And yes, this is what he says. “Five minutes, Mama!” So ultimately I am usually late at least 3-5 minutes every other day. Thank God for having an understanding boss and for myself putting on armour every morning. I am not by nature one to be late, but it is what it is in the morning. It’s not an excuse, it’s reality for a lot of us.
awesome person | May 24, 2010
uh, english please
Brian | May 24, 2010
I was born two weeks late!
e uro | May 24, 2010
@nickyg – gee, if you weren’t in Utah I’d think you’re talking about the hospitality call center I worked at.
amber | May 24, 2010
yea?
for me it used to be 9 pplz and 1 bathroom. now we have 4 bathrooms, but my dad still has the same routine, so now i’m alwayz early. but the thing is i don’t even work, i go to high school!!!!!
Dave | May 24, 2010
Barring extraordinary circumstances I don’t agree that bad weather is a legitimate excuse for being late for work. With today’s media hyping every winter storm, summer thunderstorm, gust of wind, and sprinkle, it’s inconceivable someone couldn’t plan on leaving early for work. 9 out of ten excuses are lame. I leave early enough that, if I get stuck behind a slow mover, or it snows, or if a tree is down and I have to re-route, I can still be on time.
Sara | May 24, 2010
Thanks, Pax – You are so right! I’m chronically late because I’m just NOT a morning person, since I was a kid. I AM a talented, loyal, hard-working employee in a professional field. I work long hours–as long as needed–to get projects completed by fixed deadlines, and can work rings around the average person at midnight, but my brain is at lowest wattage at 7 – 9 AM.
It is so frustrating that the same 5 hours of sleep I may get in tax season is somehow “degenerate” because my sleep is between 2 AM and 6 AM, and the “saints” are asleep by 10 and up at 3 AM.
california | May 24, 2010
How about we live in California! and the road construction sucks and people can’t drive in the damn rain!
tawnyna | May 24, 2010
used that one
california | May 24, 2010
OH and wait I don’t have a NANNY to run my child around while I stay out and goof off all day!
tawnyna | May 24, 2010
that actually happened when my car garage door froze shut!
LILb | May 24, 2010
I have a dog who really DOES get sick all over the place on occasion and has twice gotten off his leash to the tune of a half-hour chasing game. Fortunately, I had a boss who thought it was funny to imagine me chasing him around in the snow for 30 minutes!
tawnyna | May 24, 2010
I am speechless…
tawnyna | May 24, 2010
I thought I read about an asteroid coming this way. I had to wait and see if it hit whether or not we were going to be open.
Eric Shockey | May 24, 2010
Hi:
the reason I began coming in late for work was due to the fact I felt I was been punished for the Upper Mangentment Screwups and Wall street inablity to run the financial world. It seen like every time I seem to get my life on track and everything is going my way . They( Mangement or Wall Street ( mainly the Stock Market) would screw up it up. The company I work for, answer to everything is: downsize. I work for this company for 26 years and fifteen years I painted the place and there answer was for when Wall Street Screw up was to demote me to cleaning toilets, than to top this off, the guys in the shop being equally fustrusted would damage the the toilet and Paper towel dispenser ( in some smash the toilets, Pee on the floor ( in some cases , shit on them ) plug the toilets with paper towels ( this they do on a continuing basis , piss on the toilet seat , And Upper mangenment people Could give a care less about what I felt. Top that off the guys would walk across my freshly mopped floor. Personally I have nothing but contempt for both the bosses I work for and the Wall streeter that put this country in the mess that it is . Fortunely thing have started to get better . Than to add insult to pain I read a while back by a MSN Reporter saying the workers steal from the company profits by asking for a raise. I like to see that reporter work like the american work. Let see him get up at 4:00 am in the morning lift 95 pounds bumpers and do 1,500 parts in a 12 hr day and do that for 7 days and for 5 years. Than have the gual to write that.
than wonder why I want to be late for work.
Fortunelly things are starting to improve. Hope ly now I can get my life back on track
H.R. | May 24, 2010
Sun was shining in the window got up and went to the outhouse and left the cabin door open. Had to hike the trail to get the neighbors shotgun and I was bare bottom. Got back to the cabin and what I thought was a boar turned out to be a sow with two cubs. Couldn’t shoot the mama grizzly in front of her two cubs. Missed the flag stop train and climbed on the roof after grabbing flannel sheets through the window and went back to sleep until I heard them leave.
In alaska out in the bush on the state railway you put up a white cloth for the engineer to see, they stop the train and you head to town. The mama grizzly weighed approximately 900 pounds and the two cubs were about 150 pounds each; In other words up here in Alaska that is a true reason.
Okiegirl | May 24, 2010
Lin, of all the things I have ever forgotten in my life, THAT was NOT one of them! Priceless!
Sarah | May 24, 2010
once I missed a college final because I locked my keys in my car, then I missed the make up test because my grandfather was in the hospital with congestive heart failure (he survived to live another four years) thankfully the teacher knew that i was a good student and it was my favorite subject. plus i had a note from the hospital.
My most wacky (True) excuse for being late to work was that my dad was burning trash in the yard and it got out of control and almost bruned the house down. my managers were skeptical until i came into work smelling strongly of smoke.
Jim | May 24, 2010
I called in late one morning with the hicups… boss said why would that make you late? I replied that I was finding it difficult to give myself my morning insulin shot
mary | May 25, 2010
I love it! Once I was late back from break and the boss asked me why I was late. I told her “I got stuck on the pot” Needless to say she didn’t ask me anymore questions and it was back to work.
I have to say I’m sharing the hemhrroid one at work. It’s awesome! Nothing better than a good laugh for your team to start the day out with
Tim | May 25, 2010
It was the weekend and I couldn’t make bail until Monday. So I was late.
Hork38 | May 25, 2010
There should no excuse. People who run late are just victims of their lifestyle and extraordinarlily poor time planners. It seems that their attitudes are “oh well, it’s still early in the shift” or “Screw my bosses and co-workers”. These people should get a 2 x 4 across the side of the knee.
bryan | May 25, 2010
Not waking up on time is not an excuse. That is just being lazy. Get up when your alarm goes off and go to work. If you need more time get up ealier. That is what is wrong with people today, no body has any work ethic.
John | May 25, 2010
My wife was going to get pregnant & I had to be there when it happened.
paula | May 25, 2010
I have had issues with punctuality for many years. I believe it stems from when I was in 1st grade. When I was in 1st grade, almost everyday as I was walking down the sidewalk headed for school, my mother would call me back in the house and tell me I needed to go to the store. She would send me to the store and by the time I got back from the store and made it to school…you guessed it, I was late. Many times, I received spankings for being late. Keep in mind this was back in the day, when it was permissible to spank a child in school. Even at the age of 6, it occurred to me that if we are supposed to obey our parents (which I did) and then go to school and get punished, that something wasn’t quite right. Needless to say, from then on being on time has always been an issue for me. Have been very fortunate in that none of my employers ever took action against me for it. Perhaps, because I made up for it for always going above and beyond the required 8 hours.
Deb | May 25, 2010
No so weird, I had one sleeping in the back seat of my car!
anonymous | May 25, 2010
That’s actually a legitimate reason.
Melissa | May 25, 2010
well we all think you deserve a cookie and a trophy for being so perfect…congratulations on your self righteousness!!
Arnie | May 25, 2010
1. Isn’t it a Holiday today
2. I am hearing air going thru my ear
3. My cat ran away with my car keys
4. Do I work today
I also have let go employees’ for being late to me there is no excuse
Brainfreeze | May 25, 2010
I remote started my car and proceeded to scrape the windows & brush off the snow. Just as I was finishing the car turned itself off (15 min timer) and the doors automatically locked with my purse and keys inside the car. Yes of course I have a backup set INSIDE the locked house to which the keys are in my purse inside my locked car…along with my cell phone.
debora | May 25, 2010
that comment was rediculous, and you know it
Amy | May 25, 2010
I had a coworker send in a pic of her flat…only the flat was a big truck tire and not her own car tire… like we wouldn’t notice.
Totten | May 25, 2010
My fan belt broke and I had to use my panty hose.
Reason or Excuse You Decide | May 25, 2010
We have a dual alarm clock (mine was set for 6:00 am and my husband’s was set for 5:00 am) When his alarm went off, he accidentally turned my alarm off. That has happened a couple of times but very rare.
sam | May 25, 2010
Have you never been late yourself?
Stuckinarut | May 25, 2010
“Is there a reason you’re late to work?”
YES!
I don’t want to go!
My job is painful – physically painful. Being here produces physical pain. I have to watch two uninvolved partners suck the life out of their company while a bevy of underachieving related parties tend to their animals on site! That’s right… on site. (and no, this is not a veterinary clinic!) It’s just – painful!
Oh, but I shouldn’t be negative! (Read the article about the “red flag” candidates.)
How could I possibly be anything BUT negative about this situation? How do I convey to prospective employers why I want to leave here without appearing to be disgruntled… without appearing to be one of those, “red flag,” candidates?
I am so stuck. Sooooo stuck. And it is not a pleasant feeling I can tell you.
My flag is white, not red… but it won’t be seen as such. Employees are never right, are they?
Nate | May 25, 2010
“I feel like I’m in everybodies way if I’m on time.”
DREEDER | May 25, 2010
Had an employee that said she was late because someone got murdered in front of her house and the police had put up crime scene tape all across her front door and she couldn’t get out of the house…you ever heard of a back door?!
Barb | May 25, 2010
I called in and said my home town blew away in a tornado (I live in Kansas) and I would be gone helping my family. Unfortunatly is was the truth.
Sgt Hooters | May 25, 2010
OK, ready for this one? My co-worker calls in late because she has to move her neighbors cows out of her yard! This same person calls in late the next week b/c she has to take BBQ sauce to her husbands potluck!!!! wtf people??? Another co-worker is just late w NO ecxcuse! EVERYDAY and strolls in with a buffet of food and eats it- THEN starts working!! REALLY??? REALLY???
Molly | May 25, 2010
LOL…good try, but liar liar pants on fire. You JUST moved and only had ONE key to the house? Realtors and apartments complexes always provide a spare. And he went away on a business trip knowing (only had one key, and what’s the matter, the windows didn’t open either?) hahaha…I bet if a fire broke out in there, you would have gotten out. puhleeese. You’re lucky I’m not your boss. You would have all the time you needed to stay home and decorate your new house.
Jen | May 25, 2010
I would like to suggest that employers focus more on the quality of work than the time the employee arrives. The workplace is evolving, people are working remotely more and more often. We should have expectations based on performance not morning punctuality. I should be able to come into the office at whatever time I feel is appropriate to best accomplish the days goals.
I work in a somewhat flexible group that includes several remote workers both domestically and internationally. Sometimes I need to be on conference calls as early as 6am or as late as 6pm. As long as I am there for in-person meetings when needed — I am free to pretty much set my own hours. But the truth is because I am so committed to my work, I am in the office a great deal and in constant contact with my team both in the office and those working remotely, and my work hour lines are often blurred because if i need to, i will work from home occasionally in the evenings.
I don’t feel guilty if I take and extra half hour to sleep-in or if I take an extra long lunch every once in a while. I am a good worker, and I am lucky enough to have a boss who looks at my output, not my timecard.
John | May 25, 2010
I was late almost every day for a year because I HATED the firm I was working for.
I was a CPA working for a big national accounting firm.
Finally woke up one morning, and quit…became a consultant, self employed and never looked back.
I am much happier now.
Stacey | May 25, 2010
Said by a coworker…my daughter hid my car keys because she didn’t want me to come to work. My responce, so make duplicate copies.
Good reason for being late…had to go to the ER, here’s the doctors note.
mtme7274 | May 25, 2010
Don’t laugh, I have actually had this happen. We had an ice storm and there was 1-2 inches of ice on everything.
Unkown | May 25, 2010
There were cows in the bank drive thru, and I couldn’t get any money out for lunch.
A crow flew in my roof window.
My kid’s shoe lace got locked in the door at daycare and no one was home to open the door.
These are actually true.
Hap | May 25, 2010
Once I was late because I was trying to rescue a pigeon that had been hit by a car. But my feeling is, come on – if we can’t occasionally be late trying to help someone or some creature, what have we become?
Lyner | May 25, 2010
I was late for work cus, i had a big and fat joing before coming to work, then driving to work I suddendly got the munchies, and stop for some food at MCDonalds.
Margaret | May 25, 2010
You are an idiot
Radhika | May 25, 2010
To Ann-
Unless you’re the boss or something, don’t worry about it. It’s your decision to live 70miles away from work… I realize that this makes it harder to get to work on time but if that’s where you choose to live/work then you can’t really complain about it. And, your kids are part of your life and should already be factored into your morning routine and shouldn’t make you late anyway… That’s kind of like saying you were late because you had to brush your teeth or something. Sorry.
Andrew | May 26, 2010
Wally… I’m sure you’re an excellent manager if your reaction is, and I quote directly with the grammatical error, “YOUR* FIRED!”
For the record, it’s “you’re”.
Get off your high horse.
George | Jun 23, 2010
An employee called to say her dog was sprayed by a skunk right before she left the house and had to catch the dog. When she did, she got the smell all over her. I asked her to stay home.
Laura | Jun 23, 2010
This is the best one yet!!!
Massachusetts Lawyer | Jun 23, 2010
I am an employment attorney, so I spend a significant amount of time with HR folks determining whether or not to term an employee for whatever reason. Suffice to ay I’ve heard a lot of excuses for tardiness, but the most outrageous excuse for not coming into work “at all”, was one woman who claimed that her dog ate her last good bra. WHile I may believe her dog ate her bra, she wanted to take the entire day off of work… some people are just plain dumb and irresponsible.
Cathy | Jun 23, 2010
My dog actually chewed my Cell phone, it was evidence that it was chewed by my beagle mix. I still have just in case I need in the future. LOL
AKchic | Jun 23, 2010
Angel – in Alaska, tires freezing to the ground is not all that uncommon. It happened to my suburban last winter when we had a really bad cold snap in Anchorage. Normally, it’s further up north that it happens.
BRIAN | Jun 23, 2010
My son did not had no pampers at daycare i did not no that until i drop him off.
SO i had to drive back home get some pull ups. Then took them back and when i got there he think it was time for him to go home and cried until i left so i had to go to the store and by him a snack so he could share with the rest of the kids and he stayed that took three hours..
Dresdin | Jun 23, 2010
True story: Called into work stateing that i would not be able to make it cause i was out partying late lastnight at a strip club that the manager told me about well at about 2 am me and the guys walk outside to see the streets of Ok. covered in snow; he just laughed his ass off and sai du really went there lastnight yep and it is prolly a good thing i am still here cuase i would have still been hammered poopoo when i would have came into work today; gotta love the $15 all u can drink nights xD needless to say i was ok and my boss got a hell of a kick out of it.
Shamus | Jun 24, 2010
The dog ate my car keys, so we had to hitch-hike to the vet!
KEVIN | Jun 24, 2010
one of my guys hit me with “dude went barhoppin got drunk and lost my mamas car i gotta fint it so she can get 2 work”
Son | Jun 25, 2010
Heavy equipment have a back up alarm that goes beep-beep-beep. Ihad an equipment operator tell me that when he was asleep that he heard a beep-beep and he was dreaming he was backing up instead of getting up.
SAM | Jun 25, 2010
pppfffttt…ain’t u somthing?
sharon | Jun 26, 2010
A semi truck and trailer carrying cows passed me and splattered my windshield in cow dung. I had to drive slowly with my head out the window. It happened on a day I had to train a new assistant.
missie | Jun 26, 2010
i didnt come here to work my ride was late even thought the bus stops right outside my house and drops off right in front of the job i dont like the bus
joe | Jun 26, 2010
my girlfriends hair was a mess so i stayed home until she could fix it up it took longer than we thought
Melissa | Jun 27, 2010
TRUE STORY: I was on my way out the door, heading to work, when I heard a huge noise. It was our 125 gallon fish tank, shooting water out of the side. The seal had completely broken. Using bucket in our house, it was up to me to “SAVE NEMO!!”…and all of his 8 friends. Not to mention, I used every towel in the house until my fiance returned home with a shop-vac. When I called my boss, explaining the situation and that I would be more than a few mins late, she had no choice but to laugh.
Melissa | Jun 27, 2010
Are they hiring? LOL
The Germ | Jun 27, 2010
lol, sounds like my job.
ernie | Jun 27, 2010
how about i thought i had half a vacation day today
REAL EXCUSE THAT WORKS | Jun 27, 2010
I once had the bolts come off of my garage door. My car was trapped inside. Obviously, I couldn’t get to work.
Chrystal | Jun 27, 2010
One of my co-workers used the excuse I have locked my self in my house and I can’t find my keys..LOL
kurly | Jun 27, 2010
my wife was getting pregnant, and she wanted me to be there
Dont matter | Jun 28, 2010
Bitchin cuz its nice to just live life the way we want. If you didnt have to work, would you be in the military? Fact is there is nothing much else to bitch about, unlike in the military, being 15 early, going to meetings on day off, wear bulky uniforms, forced to exercise eventhough you play sports, room checks, spot checks, uniform checks, financial checks, house checks, ect. ect…….but you go man, to each his own. waking up early is the ONLY thing I got ^_^