“I’m Just Not That Into It Today”… And Other Excuses for Calling in Sick

The absolute best (and I've heard some doozies from this same person!) was "I couldn't come to work yesterday, because it was raining, and when I went into the attic to close the window, the door blew shut. When I tried to get out - the doorknob came off in my hand, and I had to wait for my wife to get home and let me out."

how about my child is sick and I wont be in today and figuring out lator that this employee doesnt even have a child!!!! good one. Or that aliens abducted me over the weekend and I need to recuperate. Actually there is a website with about 4000 excuses on it for not being able to come to work. Cant remember the name of it but i printed off about 100 of these excused and finally just told my nurses aides to save us both time to just pick out an excuse by number.

One employee said...."but I thought we had flextime?"

Yes, we did, but that does NOT mean hauling in at 10:00 am and leaving at 4:00 every day, leaving the other responsible employees and me to finish your work.

One day, she said she slipped on the steps and broke her arm. Well, that was the quickest broken arm recovery I ever saw, (1 week!) and I caught her taking off her sling and using that arm normally in the ladies room.

I worked with one guy, and he truly used each one of these excuses.....

I have no gas, my gas cap locks, and my wife has the key on her key chain at her job.

I have no clean socks.

My cat has sore throat.

Tracy,you may be fine with the truth, however, others Just Can't Handle The Truth! Seriously, my boss would hate to find out i'm relaxing on the couch watching Judge Judy while he's doing my work while i'm out!

I agree with Tracy. I've seen people get less into trouble with just saying "I have errands to run" or "I'm just not feeling it today" rather than coming up with some lame excuse like "I woke up this morning and there's an alligator in my house and I'm waiting for animal control". A lot of employers value honesty over everything else and understand that everyone every now and then feels like not going into work

Tracy, some employers just can't handle the honesty! Its my policy and have dealt with the issues after a rest day. I won't lie and say I am sick when I am not...who's sick for 1 day!? Sick of work environment perhaps. I appreciate the honest Boss.

An administrative assistant had a couple of good ones:

I have vertigo today and can't drive.

I think I'm going to have a migraine later today so I'm not coming in.

As an employer, I say stop with the excuses! Schedule your doctor's appointments and take the time off in advance. If you need a mental health day-don't we all from time to time-don't make up an outrageous story or lame excuse, just call and say, "I'm not making it in today." I appreciate honesty over excuses.

I liked these excuses immensely! But I think that if employers thought more and were more attentive, they would be able to give some additional day-off to their employees once a month. Thus, they would avoid all these lies and their employees would be more hard-working!

What about "I forgot that I had a doctor's appointment"?

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I can't make it in today. I'm having some issues. I think i got into some bad sausage last night.

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The article on Math whizzes confused "perimeter" with parameter"; see:
http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000288.htm