Nuttiest excuses for being late to work

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I once opened my car door while parked in the parking structure at work and swallowed a bug that flew in exactly at that moment. By the time I recovered from vomiting the bug and cleaning up in the ladies room, I was 20 minutes late.

My boss thought it was a fake excuse because it was so hard to believe.

walking in late one monday morning I could see my boss(who lives in the same town as me) waiting untill I was close enough to start his show to embarress me.As I approached I just said"nice guy I called your house saturday and asked you to pick me up as my car was being repaired and you can't be bothered! He never said a word! the best defense is a good offence.(no I never called)

I have a flexible schedule at my job, but I'm always late at the company ^^

I said many times that the train has been slowed.

I don't care about it cuz they don't pay enough for me , therefore, I am waiting for my future boss call me and to say when I need to start =)

My company had prizes for people who complied with their schedules consistently. My father laughed. He was in the Air Force for 40 years and he said you should have to be awarded for doing what is expected.

I told Walt I was stranded on the escalater. sp? He was embarrased that he had bought it. He also thought it was a pretty good excuse but I really need to make a better effort at being on time. Hey, I was tanning!

for those with all the great suggestions, your probaby a manager, so stfu. Everyone else, you know what to do, you know how to do it. Quit being lazy.

Wow! People get pretty snarky on here! This is good comedy for my breaks at work.

rar????????

Working in concert production you run into all types and most everyone ends up with a nick name. 15 years ago I worked with a young guy whose nick name was "Knockout". It was neither because he was a boxer nor for his looks. The story went that he was late for work and told the boss he had awoken with a start to his alarm and, attempting to lean over to the night table to turn off the alarm, he smacked his head into the night table and KNOCKED HIMSELF OUT. I was never told if he arrived at work with a cut or bruise on his head.

That is, far and away the best late excuse I've ever heard.

In my industry, if you get into the habit of showing up even a few minutes late you will find yourself looking for work elsewhere. We as employees need to realize that we are being paid for only thing only - the income we bring to our employers. Also, if an employee is fired for tardiness, chances are that he or she is not an asset to the company in the first place.

Excuses I've used
* I'm calling in lazy
* I need to leave early to buy wheels for my car.

When i came to work late, I usually left early to make up for being late.

On the other hand, (99% of the time) I was early to work and late to leave. I often was in the office 10-12 hours a day and worked on airplanes as well as the beach in Oahu(yes, these were during business trips). My daily duties didn't impact how others did their jobs on a daily basis. My overall duties did have an impact on customer service, in which my team and I always did extremely well.

Being a manager, I got to know each of my employee's and knew that in order to keep motivation high and productivity at it's peak. Understanding their individual quirks was good not only for their success, but mine as well.

One employee always called and asked if the team wanted donuts/sandwiches (whatever) if she was running late.

I had 2 employees who were best of friends. If one asked for a day off to go snowboarding, that meant the other would be calling in sick. I never denied the day off request, and often just asked the one who was going to call in sick to discuss with the remaining team members to assure the entire team was on board with 2 people being out. There were never any problems. And the other team members would do the same thing as well.

This was one of the best teams I've ever had the pleasure to manage.

As a manager, I learned that when you have great employees, they don't work for you, you work for them.(Read: MOTIVATE, MOTIVATE, MOTIVATE) Give employees the support and the tools to do the job and more often than not, they will exceed your expectations

im not late you all r just early

everyone should drive a truck, as long as you get there before the load, you are never late.

Translation:
"I'm never late. I like being on time, so sometimes I get there early. I may try to be late one day, just for a change of pace."

Wow did they interview my old bosses? I used some of those before, and those weren't even my good ones lol. Before starting my own business I was of the mindset "It doesn't matter, as long as I'm there when I need to be" one of my last bosses was of the same mind set but our boss was not. If I was late, he would ride her and she would in turn ride me. All of that being said I would bypass her and go directly into his office saying things like "I knew I was going to be late so I stopped and got donuts for everyone." as I offered him one.

I am a salaried employee and my work doesn't impact my co-workers. That said, I'm 10-15 mins late almost everyday. I tell my boss that I overselpt. Its better in the winter and worse during daylight savings time. I try to 'psych' myself out and set my alarm 15 mins ahead but eventually that stops working. It doesn't matter if I change my hours, eventually I start coming in late and staying later. I guess I'm just not a 'morning' person. Due to the nature of my job, its not a big deal but I find it interesting that I may get teased for being late, but no one says anything to me when I stay late, work from home after I leave work, and work weekends. So it all comes out in the wash I guess and I'm only hurting myself, since I don't get paid overtime - go figure.

Well, everyone in this world must have gone through like this situation once. So everyone must have had pretend begging excuse for late work or absence once/ twice/thrice in a lifetime is not big deal I think so.

There are many things that go into tardiness at work and how acceptable it is.
Company culture, business needs, flexibility of work hours, individual bosses, location, etc.

Tardiness is unacceptable. I have two children and a 1.5 hour long commute one-way to work. I manage to balance everything (a good idea is to allot more time for things in your schedule than you think they will actually take) and rarely arrive late to work.

When you are habitually late (whether to work or to lunch with friends) you are sending a BIG message that you have no respect for the other people/your company. Be prepared to sacrifice your paycheck/friendship if your behavior continues.

ahahahaha, I remember when I told my math teacher the excuse of the reason why I was late to class was because my water broke and I had to mop to floor.....I know,I know it don't make sense but hey what do you tell them yeah it was because I hate you're class and can't stand to sit there for and hour listening to explain why that equals what it equals.I also used a few of the ones up top and the end result in me trying to save my butt and not get another tardy was of course you guessed it....detention.......but hey at least the prettiest girl in the whole school laughed and now she is my girlfriend of 3 years:).See some good comes out of trying to be a smart alleck.

iI was late this morning because of my eyes........I couldn't see coming in to work today!

Women have the best excuse in the world for not coming in to work or being late...PMS no questions every asked on that one..

The article didn't list very many zany excuses, but most people's comments are hilarious!
One time I was late because my car got stolen.. seriously. There was a honda theft spree and something like 50 cars were stolen over the weekend.

Mickey Mikey or whatever please SHUT UP
I agree on the spelling but don't be a jerk and all "well you did it too!" It just makes you seem Juvenille which is not appealing to anyone K Hun?

I have always be an early to work person. my start time is 8 am but i usually get in between 6:30 and 7. i had a boss that tried to write me up because i came in at 7:30 one morning. Luckly he did not last in the position

Heard some doozies over the years, had a few (all true) myself. One time, as I was walking out the door, a crane lifting a section of balcony crashed through my living room window (lived in an aparment complex). Another time, a storm had come through our neighborhood and trees fell blocking any way of leaving (had 4 different ways I could have gone - trees blocked all 4 ways). One time I had eaten something that disagreed with my stomach, lost it while driving into work (and let me tell you, it ain't easy driving and tossing your cookies). But my favorite (not really) was when as I was walking out to my car, walking under a tree full of birds, I got nailed with bird caca.
Every time, my supervisors understood as I was rarely late. I almost always was at least 10-15 minutes early. In my 40 years of working, I've learned the truth works best although intimate detail isn't always necessary.

I worked for a small business once and I was late one day and the owners response was only be late for your next job as long as you work here BE ON TIME . This was twenty plus years ago I now own a small business of my own today and I feel the same way because Im on time with a little thing called PAYROLL so buy a watch.

You all have excuses on being late, whats your excuse for bad grammer? :p

we have an employee that rides the bus daily and uses it as an excuse to be late every single day. she shows up between 30 minutes to 1 hour late EVERY DAY! and guess what? she'll never be fired or reprimanded because we are in a very strong union. this has gone on for 7 years now and she's still employed. it's a real shame and makes me hate the union for allowing people like this to keep their jobs. the only good part is that she has no 'time' left so all her late arrivals mean a smaller paycheck

Use the universal, anytime, anywhere excuse : "I forgot".

BTW this site s**ks, very quirky with keyboard commands. You can say when desiging the HTML "I forgot". but I'll be forgetting this site from now on.

When I was in the military I saw people who had never been held to a timetable in their lives. They thought that they couldn't be punctual, but they soon learned otherwise. I worked for a Fortune 500 corporation for over thirty years and I saw more people fired for being tardy and missing work that for any other cause. As the company would tell them, they only had jobs for full-time employees.

How about, I ran out of Total Cereal so I had to eat 7 bowls of the other crap to make up for it.

I DONT CALL IN I JUST SHOW UP