“A Chicken Attacked my Mom” and Other Reasons you Called in Sick

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Fortunately, my boss believed this one. He had better have because it's true.

I've been in pretty good health all my life (with the exception of breaking my wrist in a bike accident in the 7th grade.) I got perfect attendance everywhere I attended (School, clubs, work, Sunday school.) Even my teachers used to joke that I'd come to class dead if I had to. I have no children.

But somehow, someway, in my mid 20s, I managed to pick up a SERIOUS case of head lice. My head had been itching for 3 weeks, but I just chalked it up to dandruff. Until one of the nurses at my job (I work in a medical office) asked if she could take a look. My head was FULL of nits. I wrapped my head in a plastic bag to minimize the spread risk to anyone else and actually had to call my boss and tell him I was going home due to a condition usually attributed to 10 year olds.

It actually took 3 days of nit-picking and vinegar treatments to clear them all out, even the live ones.

A lady I used to work with, before she quit, would come up with some doozies. She fell asleep on the toilet, couldn't open her garage door, her kitchen caught fire because she threw her coat on the counter and it pushed the switch down on the toaster oven. When she didn't come in one night while we were in California, she finally called in 6 hours later saying she had put the hotel phone on her bed and had knocked the receiver off so she didn't get her wakeup call (the receptionist refused to leave the fron desk to knock on her door to wake her up and I had to call the guy I relieved to go get her up). Several other guys were bowling and had a few too many, so they each called in from the same bowling alley, one at a time, FROM THE SAME PHONE (they passed it to the next person calling in until done)!

My wife had a co-worker who would call in using the same excuse every month at 'that' time, saying she was 'clotting'.

The excuse that one is not able to come to work because one's Mum has been attacked by a chicken is not a silly excuse.
I wish it was possible to take the writer of this article to a hen I know with chickens and he/she attempts to take its chickens! He would need to run away like "Magic Johnson" to escape its wrath. Still there is no guarantee that one will not get injured while in the process of running!
Hens with chicken really attack if they think you want to take away their chickens even if one was just trying to feed the chickens.

I worked right up to the day before I delivered my 2nd child. My boss had 9 sons so he was very tolerant of back aches, etc. He also had a great sense of humor, very dry. The morning I delivered, my mom called in to tell him that I would not be coming in. He asked her if I needed the whole day and would I be in the following morning? My mom could not believe her ears and told me about it when she got to the hospital. I laughed so hard and made her carry the big bouquet of flowers he had sent in the meantime.

I called in sick once because I was having vision problems...

I just could'nt see my ass coming in to work!

I called into work saying I couldn't make it because I couldn't start my car. Which was basically true. Thing is I have a breathalizer in the car and couldn't pass the test to start the car the morning following a night of drinking. Still drunk.

I called in sick in the middle of the week once to go skiing in Tahoe. Drove up from the Bay Area Tuesday night to my friends cabin. Skied all day Wednesday, which just happened to be a beautiful sunny day. Drove home that night. When I got up Thursday for work I looked in the mirror at a full on raccoon face. I went to work anyway and had numerous people snicker and say "Sick Huh?" Never got reprimanded or questioned by the boss. But if I did I would have admitted the lie, all the while smiling, because it was totally worth it.

Today of all days, let's remember our military - those who don't get to call in, be sick or even take off on holidays, much less make up silly excuses for not showing up. For them it's called AWOL.

I will never for get this one.

I had a ex co-worker call in sick because "My dog ate my cat and I have to clean up the mess."

He always talked about his dog but never about owning a cat.

Hilarious

I was managing a restaurant, everyone is required to work New Years Eve because it's super busy and everyone wants it off... My main busser's mother called in and said he would not be in because he had cut the end of his finger off at his day job and was heading to the hospital to see if it could be re-attached. I laughed (I knew her personally) and said tell him to get his butt to work, I need him tonight! She said, No, really, we're on our way to the hospital. Although he did lose the end of his (middle) finger which he was gracious enough to show us in the air, lol, he was teased relentlessly for going to such extremes to get New Years Eve off!?

call in well, tell your boss that you just feel too good to come to work and spoil it.

An employee of mine called in sick because someone close to him died. I asked who he said the homeless guy who roamed his street, then went on to recall the oooh so lovely memories of their encounters.

I was curling my bangs one morning getting ready for work. The hair slipped out of the curling iron and the barrel of the iron went directly in my eye. I had to call in telling my boss I burnt my eye. The next day I was asked why I could not come up with a better excuse but when I showed the hospital papers & took of the eye patch to show the burnt cornea I was sent home to rest (more from guilt of not believing me I'm sure).

I actually had to call in one day because my car would not shut off. The starter broke when I crank the car and jammed the key inside. It would not turn back and the key would not come out . . . sadly true.

I was a supervisor for a short time. The excuse I remember best was when an employee said he would need a few days off because his cat died. I like cats too, but that seemed a bit much. It was easy enough to cover his work, so I let him off. When he returned, he explained that his cat was more than a pet - it had to do with his religion and the process of parting with the cat and replacing it was complicated and time-consuming. I decided not to press for further details.

1. "Somebody burned my grass last night"
2. "I have to go to the doctor and get my bladder stretched"

I once called in on a Monday morning because I had a large boil on my inner thigh and was going to the doctor to have it drained. MY boss was skeptical until I called back later to tell him that it was MRSA and I had to spend the next week in the hospital (isolation, too) and had to have surgery to save my life. Some things just can't be made-up.

On Labor Day weekend I had a coworker call in with a sunburn that she supposedly got the day before in her garden and wouldn't be able to come in the whole weekend. Turns out she did get a sunburn, but not in her garden on the day she claimed to get it, but during the weekend she was "sick" at the lake where her family was having a reunion.

A meteorite fell in front of me and it took a while to walk around the crater.

I had to call in sick..i couldn't get out of my aparment building...the deadbolt jammed and the door would not open with the key or without!! They sent someone to help me get out.. I ended up having to take the pins out of the hinges to get out!! What a morning that was!!

I once had to call in sick because my car had bald tires.
We had a freezing rain the night before and u have to drive uphill to get out of my drive way. No matter what I did, I couldn't get my car to make it out of the driveway. And since I lived 15 miles out of town, in the country, and the roads everywhere were icy, I couldn't get anyone to pick me up.

I myself dont make a habit of calling in sick unless I am so ill that I can't leave the bathroom or if I am running a high fever. Thats what they make medicine for people! Anyway. I started a new job in June and one of my co-workers is scheduled for 3 or 4 five and a half hour shifts each week. There has not been one day that she has been scheduled since I started working there that she has not had a problem of some kind that has forced her to come in late, or leave early or not show up at all. NOT ONE DAY. She is a very fun person who always livens up the workplace when she is there, but it is very frustrating for me when she is one or two hours late for her measley little 5 1/2 hour shift.... but she does always have the best excuses!!! for instance every monday (our busiest day of the week) she has to leave and take lunch to her son at school. They dont provide hot lunch that day at school. Therefore she has to go pick him up a happy meal or something and take it to him. My daughter takes her lunch everyday, so one day I asked her if he couldn't just pack a lunch that day to take with him. She said no, they arent allowed to.... WTF???

I once had to call in because my toilet bowl suddenly fell through the ceiling into the apartment below. Fortuantely, no one was on either at the time and the pipes held it in place. I've had to call in because squirrels were eating thru my ceiling and I had to keep chasing them before the super showed up to lay traps and seal the ceiling. I've also had to call in late coming back from lunch because 2 cars collided behind my car and locked bumpers. I was facing a barrier so I couldn't move my car. Co-workers actually came out to see the spectacle. Someone pointed out this website to me because of my dilemas. All are true. Oh well. LOL.

I had an employee call in once because she had to go follow her husband because she thought he was cheating on her and wanted to catch him.

I once called in late because I couldn't find my car keys and I had to wait until my husband drove over 30 miles home from his job to bring me the spare. While waiting I continuied to look, finding them about 2 minutes before my husband came home......Where were they? ...... In my pocket! Yes I am a blonde, but I swear I checked my pockets. I will never live that down.

A student told us she would be missing classes because her mother was dying of cancer. Later she called to inform us she would miss because she was attending her mothers funeral. The next day her mother called to ask us if she was doing okay in her classes.

My wife worked at a restaurant in Seattle and a dishwasher didn't show up to work for several days. When he finally came back to work he explained that two women had kidnapped him, blindfolded him and took him to Portland and forced him to clean their house while blindfolded and naked. Since he was blindfolded the entire time, it took a long time to clean their house.

The excuse was so original (and obviously fake) that the manager didn't fire him.

I had a co-worker who called in and told the supervisor he had a problem with his eyes and would not be in for work.

The supervisor asked what was wrong with his eyes

The co-worker said he couldn't see himself coming into work today. TRUE STORY.

Once had a guy worked for me fail to show up for work on Monday & Tuesday, no call or anything. When he came to work on Wed I asked where he was, his answer " the tarpon were running "

had a co-worker call in sick on 3rd shift because his lights were stuck on his x-19 vehicle.they wouldn,t rise up.Actually was true story.

ok as for the mis set time try using military time,no confusion as to weather am or pm.Now here are some good ones,called in for mosquito bites,and the next time called in for a sun burn.Had on person that should have called in but did not he was runed over the day before and had bruised ribs,still showed up for work the next day though.

My sick time comes from the same hours as my vacation time. I don't take sick days off. I go to work and cough and sneeze at my boss all day. Ha Ha Ha
true story.

I had a fellow co-worker call out stating that they had gone to the Dr with a pain in their stomach & they were told that one of their ovaries were in flamed. Now the funny part about this was it was a MAN that called out with the excuse

At Intel in the mid-70s, we were allowed 2 weeks personal leave each year.

You could take a sick day, a mental health day, an appointment day, & you didn't have to say why. All you said was, "I need to take a personal day today" and they accepted you had a valid reason not to be there.

I loved being treated like an adult that way!

I was living in Houston and we had a hurricane. The next morning I went out to my car to go to work, and a tree had missed it by about a foot. It was blocked in, so I called into work to tell my boss I couldn't get my car out of the parking lot (and why I couldn't). She told me to walk - it was only a few miles. She was at home with no electricity. She told me to walk - it was only 7 or 8 miles. There was no electricity at work, either and it was a glass building and the wind had blown out all the windows. I called back in and left a message on her answering machine and told her I was sick. She fired 5 of us the next day.

I had an employee call to tell me he could not make his evening shift because his car broke down out of town. Later that evening I went to dinner with my family in San Francisco. Guess who walked in with his wife and friends? I didn't say anything till it was time to leave, Oh you should have seen his face when he turned around to see who's hand was upon his shoulder!!!

Several years ago, one of our employees (a guy) called in and told the shop supervisor that he could not come in that day as he thought he had a bleeding uterus (yes, that's what he said!) I think he meant "ulcer", but you can never be too sure now-a-days--lol!

We had a girl at my work who just got a new boyfriend. At the very last minute she asked for halloween weekend off to hang out with him. We only have exactly enough people to cover the front desk so if anyone calls out we have to work overtime. Needless to say her request was denied. The next day she never showed up for work, and didn't show up for the rest of the weekend. Then she has the nerve to come in on Monday and be suprised that she got fired and replaced. . . . duh!

The best call in I have had was for a lady who called in and said that her son was sick, . . . . . but she doesn't have any kids. She ended up being fired.

"Set my alarm for PM instead of AM"

Now this is something I've actually done! And I am a night owl so I did not wake up until 9 or 10. Have mercy on the nearsighted!

This is gold! More excuses to add to the HR database.

My manager misses 1-2
Days a week on average, and is late or leaves early 1-2 days a week. The public health director (her boss) likes her and does not check on her or reprimand her for her missing so much work. She doesn't need to worry though because she has the rest of us doing her work. I would love to leave but there are no jobs in my area.

i used to work with someone that actually called in and said he coulden't come to work because his neighbor had the flu.

"I popped a zit and and got some of it in my eye, so now my eyes infected..."

I worked with a girl who had several really "good" reasons for missing work. My favorite was when she said her refrigerator, in the basement, was struck by lightning and she had to stay home to make sure it stayed shut so the food would not go bad before they could move it to a different refrigerator.

I worked in retail for 15 years, most of them as a manager. I would work for anyone when they called in, but nobody would work for me. Oh, they'd gush an "thank you, thank you, thank you" out the wazoo, but when I needed something....
But I digress.
My favorite was when a young girl I did not want to hire (but was forced to) was supposed to be at work at 4:00. I went in that morning with a migraine, had my father drive me b/c I couldn't see & spent the day in the bathroom (oh yes, I was so customer friendly that day!). Well, 3:30 rolled around & she called with this awful fake cry. She said "My boyfriend broke up with me, and I just can't come in." I can't put into print what I said to her, but I told her that when she went through a divorce to call me, but for now to get her *ss in that store. She'd called in the Friday BEFORE that saying she "had a date and couldn't come in".....again, I can't put into print what I told her, but she showed up for work BOTH times!

I was Director of Nursing in a Long Term Care / Rehab facility for 13 years. I could write a book on some of the excuses I have heard, but my all time favorite was when a CNA called in because her "mother" was dying of prostate cancer!

i called my boss and told him i had anal glocoma i said i just couldnt see my ass comming to work today lol he replied your fired !!!

I developed something called "Benign Positional Vertigo" about a year ago and had to call in "dizzy."