“A Chicken Attacked my Mom” and Other Reasons you Called in Sick

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While getting sick is a total drag, sometimes, when you wake up with a 102-degree fever on a rainy Monday, being sick really doesn’t seem all that terrible. A raging fever or a case of the flu means that instead of going to work, you get to stay home in your sweatpants and watch Christmas movies and “The View” all day while eating chicken soup and drinking ginger ale (or whatever makes you feel better).

Unfortunately, though, we can’t control our immune systems (Baseball game = feeling good; Another 10-hour workday = bring on the Streptococcus), so most of us are stuck with taking our sick days as they come.

Yet some workers are not content to just sit around and wait for the next time they’re feeling under the weather to take a sick day. According to CareerBuilder’s annual survey on workplace attendance, 29 percent of workers said they’d called in sick when they were well at least once during the past year.

While the most common reason for calling out was simply because employees “just didn’t feel like going to work,” some employers reported hearing some pretty fanciful excuses for taking a sick day.

Among them:

  1. Employee said a chicken attacked his mom.
  2. Employee’s finger was stuck in a bowling ball.
  3. Employee had a hair transplant gone bad.
  4. Employee fell asleep as his desk while working and hit his head, causing a neck injury.
  5. Employee said a cow broke into her house and she had to wait for the insurance man.
  6. Employee’s girlfriend threw a Sit n Spin through his living room window.
  7. Employee’s foot was caught in the garbage disposal.
  8. Employee called in sick from a bar at 5:00 p.m. the night before.
  9. Employee said he wasn’t feeling too clever that day.
  10. Employee had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the home owner’s association
  11. Employee called in the day after Thanksgiving because she burned her mouth on a pumpkin pie.
  12. Employee was in a boat on Lake Erie and ran out of gas and the coast guard towed him to the Canadian side.

Although these excuses certainly win points for originality, if you find yourself in need of a day off, a simple “I’m not feeling well,” is probably a better bet than coming up with a ridiculous story. The majority of employers reported that they believe their workers when they say they’re feeling under the weather.

However, if you have a hunch your boss will check up on you by making you bring in a doctor’s note, calling you at home, etc.,  which 29 percent of employers reported they have done, try telling the truth — that you just need a day off. You might be surprised by how understanding your boss is.

“Six-in-ten employers we surveyed said they let their team members use sick days for mental health days,” said Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources at CareerBuilder. “If you need to take some time away from the office, the best way not to cause yourself more stress is to be open and honest with your manager.”

What do you think about bogus sick days? Have you played hooky in the past year? Have you had to call out sick because something bizarre actually did happen to you? Tell us your sick-day stories in the comments section.

  1. My two favorite reasons why someone has called off were as follows;

    “My pet chinchilla is pregnant and about to give birth”.

    A housekeeper who worked for us was cleaning the elevator tracks and the doors began to close. This was before the age of the electronic sensors on the doors. So focused on her work, the doors came and her head activated the retraction device, but not before knocking her a good one.

    The next day she called in sick, still complaining of a headache, thus, calling in because she was hit in the head by elevator doors.


    • I had a new hire call in late her first day stating that she had a flat tire, 2 days later I seen her getting off the bus, I felt bad thinking she didn’t have the money to fix her flat tire so I offered her a replacement tire till she could get one of her own “she stated that she didn’t have a car” obviously she didnt remember her lie, she didn’t last long as an employee.

    • I was running some surround sound speaker wire through the attic and fell thru the celing right into the house; I had to wait for the repair man to come over the next day to repair the hole where my body had went thru…. my boss said he belived me beacuse it was too absurd not to be true. …. True story.

    • I am a Hospital Nursing Supervisor and I had a staff member call and actually state that she could not come into work because she had her carpets shampooed and she could not walk on them and couldn’t get into her bathroom to take a shower. Really!!!!?

    • Co-worker went to a Halloween party on a Sat night in uncomfortable, new shoes. Said toes were numb on Sunday. Called in sick to work on Monday. Said it hurt to walk.

    • one of my co workers was order to write an explanation as to why he was 35 minutes over what out company said was the amount of hours allowed for sick time and the memo reminded him his answer would be placed in his personal file
      he sent and explanton to the dept head explaning that he had and un expected penis reduction operatrion and since it was a success he antisapated that it would no be required again thus he would not abuse his sick leave again

    • Brian: “Must be nice to have sick or mental Health Days, Some of us cannot do that.”

      Same here. Heck, in order for me to call in, I HAVE to do it at least a day or two in advance(due to the nature of my job…I will give them that), and I’d BETTER have a darned good excuse…i.e. a doctor’s excuse, etc. As for being sick, I literally have to be dying or completely incapacitated before my employer will excuse a same day absence.

    • A co-worker once called in to say that there was no more clean clean clothes in his dresser drawers or closet. He could either come into work in his pajamas and bathrobe, or stay home to do laundry. He chose the latter.

  2. Not actually a sick call story, but a co-worker of mine wanted to take the afternoon off to wash her mother’s hair. Needless to say it didn’t fly with the boss…

  3. Man, those are some pretty lame excuses. My family is so “around the bend” it’s not funny. Told our younger sister she needed a key to unlock doors. She spent the whole day in the house, because the doors were locked and she thought she needed a key to get out. She’s also blond.

  4. I’m a shepherd, and I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to call in to tell my employer I was going to be late because I had a ewe in labor with a malpresentation!

    • Actually… cats CAN unplug alarm clocks… they play with the cord, and if you don’t have tight sockets… they fall out. That being said… my animals also wake me up everyday before dawn anyways… so i dont need an alarm clock

  5. Not a sick day excuse, but a few years ago, two of my grade A employees phoned in an hour after starting time to tell me they could not get in to work that day because “the car we stole to get to work ran out of gas.” I laughed so hard I almost pee’d myself.

  6. I was once late to work because I couldn’t find my glasses. I am extremely nearsighted, so driving to work without them was out of the question. I finally found them after crawling around on the floor of my bedroom for 20 minutes. I had knocked them behind my nightstand when I hit the snooze on my alarm. Ever since then I have kept them in the nightstand drawer instead of on top of it.

    • I had a co-worker do that one time but he was “a bit slow” so the fact that he didn’t know about the release lever wasn’t a surprise. I still get a good laugh out of that when I think about was a tard he was (is)!

  7. Thing is, the weirder the excuse, the more likely it is to be real. Face it, every now and then something comes up. You can’t seriously be expected to show up at the same place at the same time every freaking day without interruption, and let’s face it, sometimes you already know that your pet chinchilla giving birth is far more pressing than anything that’s going to happen at work that day.

  8. One fateful morning I woke up and found my mother had passed away during the night. I called my boss and told her of the situation and that I would not be to work. Her response was “I’m sorry to hear that. You will be in tomorrow won’t you?”.

    This employer gave me three days to arrange the funral, bury my mother and grieve before I had to go back to work.

  9. I have had employees say they pooped their pants in traffic on the way to work.
    I once told an old boss before I was about to quit…. ” I can’t make it in today there is a problem with my eyes.” He asked what happened and I told him” I can’t see myself coming to work for him anymore!!!”

  10. real excuse;
    Neighbor across the street appeared at our back gate asking for help. We told her to come in. She raised her arms, one holding the electric eggbeater and the other with her fingers caught in the beaters. She had tried to remove them before they stopped turning!
    When we took her to the emergency room, I told the nurse this had to be one of the most unusual ones she had seen. NOT SO! The nurse said a few days before that, they had a woman who tried to lick the beaters before they stopped!

    • I have a friend who is an ER Dr. He showed me Xrays of a guy with a vibrating sex toy stuck in his a$$. LOL He he asked the guy if he wanted it removed or just change the batteries

  11. I once tried to call in sick only to be told that I didn’t have any more sick days for the rest of the year so instead I called in dead. Peace

  12. I have actually called in saying “how busy are we I really just feel like I need a day off” and my boss granted it. Employers do appreciate honesty over some lame excuse they can see right thru. So I’ve done it many times over the last 20 yrs of working..just call in, show respect and ask if you’re busy at work and if missing that day would be a challenge to the rest of the team. I’m willing to bet most employers would gladly say ok, enjoy your day off..but yes I realize some folks are azzhol*s and don’t care..but try it, it does work

  13. This is an actual true story… I called in sick due to having to “watch my dog for complications” after an emergency trip to the vet for stitches. Which were required after he chased a squirel and ran though a barbed wire fence cutting himself in a manner that could only be described as a “circumcision”.

    Yes, I brought the vet’s report with me the next day to work for proof, simply because the whole thing was just too far fetched to have made up.

  14. A guy called in because beavers built a dam near his parent’s vacation house and he had to take it down before the house flooded.

  15. I once worked with someone who called in because her grandmother had been towing a trailer in the next state and it tipped over, so they had to go see how bad it was.

  16. I had 1/2 my department off sick today. Some legit, some not. How can you operate a business that way? The sad part is, when they are off, nobody else is going to do their job! Mental health days just lead to more work and more stress because you are even MORE behind!

  17. here’s a good one:
    anal glaucoma (tell your boss you have anal glaucoma, and when he/she asks you what in the world is anal glaucoma, you say,”I can’t see my ass coming into work today!”

  18. My coworker, who is chronically “sick” from work called in one day….constipated! He’s also gone as far as using the excuse that he visited a client’s home and was covered in fleas….he picked his dog up from the vet and peed all over his car….and that he missed a friend’s call and had to go home to take it!

    Needless to say, Friday is my last day…on to bigger and better things! :)

  19. Hilarious. All of these made me laugh out loud, except the one that says “girlfriend threw a Sit n Sleep through the window.” I can’t believe some people could go to the extremes.
    It’s like making up an excuse like, “My iPhone doesn’t work and I can’t go to work without my iPhone.” The excuses are THAT lame.

  20. I once called in sick for getting hit in the head with a hockey puck at a game. The puck was thrown by a drunk fan, but still caused a night in the hospital getting more than 20 stitches. I called into my boss, the morning i was to work, as i was leaving the hospital. He thought it was such a horrible lie he hung up on me, so i had to call him back. He responded with “whatever.” So i stayed home to sleep, then came in the next day. He marched up to me to talk about my “lie” until i took off the bandages to show him the 2 inch gash in my head. He was in such shock, his face was hilarious! He did turn into his usual sweetheart self and apologized, then made sure to check on me hourly to make sure i was ok, and didnt need to go home! For those curious; the drunk guy was charged with assalt, found guilty, and forced to pay my medical bills.

  21. Employee called in to say he would be late for work. His grandchild threw his false teeth in the toilet and flushed them. He had to pull the cover off the septic tank and wait while someone inside the house flushed the toilet until his teeth came out.

  22. I had an Employee call in once stating that his Headlights were stuck on bright , and he didn’t want to make other Drivers angry.

  23. i work for the county in which i live.alot of ppl here think we have the greatest of benefits,including 15 sick days p/yr. but then goes up after so many yrs of service.i myself do not abuse sick time,when i am sick,i’m sick.but i have heard some good ones:

    1.my cat is throwing up,need to take him to the vet.
    2.cant find the right shoelaces for my shoes,need to go out and get some.
    3.i sprained my hand trying to tear off plastic wrap the day before.

    please ppl. some of us know how to play the system.i hate the dr.’s who just dish out the notes while the rest of us cant get one not unless they see us literally crawl into their office and our ears are red inside as well as swollen glands.half the quacks dont check crap,they just wait for their 5.00 co-pay from the patient and their over charged office visit fee from the insur. co.

  24. My Dog ate my car keys and we’re hitchiking to the vet.
    I was abducted by aliens.
    I accidently ate Ex-Lax and Prozac, I’m stuck on the toilet but I feel good about myself.
    I was taken hostage by midget wrestlers.
    I mistakenly set my alarm clock for PM instead of AM.

  25. I had to call in sick when my cat walked across the stove while I was making my morning tea and severely burned his entire back foot. Had to make a rush visit to the vet – I was so embarrassed by the reason, but you can’t make something like that up!

  26. I have to admit i have called in with a couple off the wall reasons, both were sadly true ..
    1) I couldn’t get out of the house because of a skunk, everytime i opened the door he ran up wanting in, ahhh country life!
    2) I woke up and wasn’t sure i was still in the U.S., yes the hangover was killer, but not as eye opening as the quiet heartfelt conversation my supervisor had with me!

  27. When I was 18 I had my first full time job and I called in pregnant. The boss didn’t think it was very funny but everyone else did.

  28. Are you kidding me?? Employers who actually call their employees homes to “check up” on them and verify their story?? I would NEVER work for an employer who would do that! Sounds like harassment to me!

    • My boss does call you at home and check on you, I am sure he is even monitoring this as I type, but he constantly points out the wrong things you are doing instead of praising the right things and that just makes it difficult to want to go to work. There are absolutely no jobs around this area and even though I do love what I do for a living, it is difficult to come towork when you are always put down and critisized

  29. I used to work for a Major in the Army. He was a big southern boy, notorious for calling in sick/late.

    My favorite was when he called and said, “Laurie, ah won’t be comin’ in today. Ah got a bone in mah leg.”

  30. I called in sick because I had torn the ligament in my knee and was on crutches. My boss told me I still should come in and do desk work. It was my right leg, my driving leg, and I had an hour drive to work. I went in. She calls out every month because of a headache or sore throat.

  31. How about: I got sick to my stomach when we lost electric power and the garage door wouldn’t open so I could get my car out to come to work.

  32. I came in on a Monday telling the office about fishing the whole weekend and the slew of fresh clams that I had raked and was going to eat that night. Coincidentally, there was a phenomenal swell (I live in Florida) coming in on Tuesday and I really wanted to surf so I called in early that morning and told my boss that I had the sh!ts from eating clams and couldnt come in!! Noone ever disputes something like that, its too ridiculous not to be true (or so they think).
    I was 23 and a manager at Enterprise Rent-a-car at the time a year ago lol…

  33. I had to call in sick the day after Christmas last year because my husband had gotten ran over by two cars and drug along a bridge. My boss didn’t believe me, but when she called the hospital to verify the information, she had to apologize for not believing me then she told me to take the next month off if I needed to.

  34. One place I worked, we had a guy call out because he was, and I quote, “getting laid,” and “You gotta get it when you can get it.”

  35. I called in sick because I head-butted a truck. The day before at work as a mechanic, while climbing out from under a vehicle I hit my head hard as a stood up. The next morning I had a very bad headache and had to call in.

  36. I have been a BOSS for over 30 years and i have heard alot of reason for not comeing to work.But the one that i will never forget is,I had a guy that came to work one day and he was all dress up and i ask him what was he going to do that day and he told me he was not able to work that day because he was trying to get another JOB.I told him i hope you get the job because if you don’t you will not have a job at all.

  37. A friend of mine called off work and said he was sick and his kinnewderspring that closed his valve was stuck open and he had to sit on the toilet all day !

  38. Back in my 20′s, the boss would check the obituaries every day to be sure none of his employees passed away the day before…

    One day I happened to see my own name in the obits and decided to call in Dead.

    The boss called at 4 in the afternoon to inform me the deceased was 87 years old.. Good try and I was given the day off with pay for being the first to actually have valid (yet disputable proof) of not being able to work because of being dead.

  39. I once missed three weeks of work because my leg got caught between two logs at the lake. No, I wasn’t caught all that time but boogered my leg up pretty bad when I had to yank it out.

  40. i called my boss and told him i had anal glocoma i said i just couldnt see my ass comming to work today lol he replied your fired !!!

  41. I was Director of Nursing in a Long Term Care / Rehab facility for 13 years. I could write a book on some of the excuses I have heard, but my all time favorite was when a CNA called in because her “mother” was dying of prostate cancer!

  42. I worked in retail for 15 years, most of them as a manager. I would work for anyone when they called in, but nobody would work for me. Oh, they’d gush an “thank you, thank you, thank you” out the wazoo, but when I needed something….
    But I digress.
    My favorite was when a young girl I did not want to hire (but was forced to) was supposed to be at work at 4:00. I went in that morning with a migraine, had my father drive me b/c I couldn’t see & spent the day in the bathroom (oh yes, I was so customer friendly that day!). Well, 3:30 rolled around & she called with this awful fake cry. She said “My boyfriend broke up with me, and I just can’t come in.” I can’t put into print what I said to her, but I told her that when she went through a divorce to call me, but for now to get her *ss in that store. She’d called in the Friday BEFORE that saying she “had a date and couldn’t come in”…..again, I can’t put into print what I told her, but she showed up for work BOTH times!

    • I have a chronic “sick” employee at my store as well. My favorite was her most recent, when she called in to tell me she wouldn’t be able to work her shift because she had a doctor’s appointment scheduled in the middle of it. I didn’t buy it, seeing as how she was working a 6 pm to 11 pm shift.

  43. I worked with a girl who had several really “good” reasons for missing work. My favorite was when she said her refrigerator, in the basement, was struck by lightning and she had to stay home to make sure it stayed shut so the food would not go bad before they could move it to a different refrigerator.

  44. My manager misses 1-2
    Days a week on average, and is late or leaves early 1-2 days a week. The public health director (her boss) likes her and does not check on her or reprimand her for her missing so much work. She doesn’t need to worry though because she has the rest of us doing her work. I would love to leave but there are no jobs in my area.

  45. “Set my alarm for PM instead of AM”

    Now this is something I’ve actually done! And I am a night owl so I did not wake up until 9 or 10. Have mercy on the nearsighted!

  46. Pingback: HRwisdom » Blog Archive » Managing Difficult Staff – Top 12 Sick Leave Excuses

  47. We had a girl at my work who just got a new boyfriend. At the very last minute she asked for halloween weekend off to hang out with him. We only have exactly enough people to cover the front desk so if anyone calls out we have to work overtime. Needless to say her request was denied. The next day she never showed up for work, and didn’t show up for the rest of the weekend. Then she has the nerve to come in on Monday and be suprised that she got fired and replaced. . . . duh!

    The best call in I have had was for a lady who called in and said that her son was sick, . . . . . but she doesn’t have any kids. She ended up being fired.

  48. Several years ago, one of our employees (a guy) called in and told the shop supervisor that he could not come in that day as he thought he had a bleeding uterus (yes, that’s what he said!) I think he meant “ulcer”, but you can never be too sure now-a-days–lol!

  49. I had an employee call to tell me he could not make his evening shift because his car broke down out of town. Later that evening I went to dinner with my family in San Francisco. Guess who walked in with his wife and friends? I didn’t say anything till it was time to leave, Oh you should have seen his face when he turned around to see who’s hand was upon his shoulder!!!

  50. I was living in Houston and we had a hurricane. The next morning I went out to my car to go to work, and a tree had missed it by about a foot. It was blocked in, so I called into work to tell my boss I couldn’t get my car out of the parking lot (and why I couldn’t). She told me to walk – it was only a few miles. She was at home with no electricity. She told me to walk – it was only 7 or 8 miles. There was no electricity at work, either and it was a glass building and the wind had blown out all the windows. I called back in and left a message on her answering machine and told her I was sick. She fired 5 of us the next day.

  51. At Intel in the mid-70s, we were allowed 2 weeks personal leave each year.

    You could take a sick day, a mental health day, an appointment day, & you didn’t have to say why. All you said was, “I need to take a personal day today” and they accepted you had a valid reason not to be there.

    I loved being treated like an adult that way!

  52. I had a fellow co-worker call out stating that they had gone to the Dr with a pain in their stomach & they were told that one of their ovaries were in flamed. Now the funny part about this was it was a MAN that called out with the excuse

  53. My sick time comes from the same hours as my vacation time. I don’t take sick days off. I go to work and cough and sneeze at my boss all day. Ha Ha Ha
    true story.

  54. ok as for the mis set time try using military time,no confusion as to weather am or pm.Now here are some good ones,called in for mosquito bites,and the next time called in for a sun burn.Had on person that should have called in but did not he was runed over the day before and had bruised ribs,still showed up for work the next day though.

  55. Once had a guy worked for me fail to show up for work on Monday & Tuesday, no call or anything. When he came to work on Wed I asked where he was, his answer ” the tarpon were running “

  56. I had a co-worker who called in and told the supervisor he had a problem with his eyes and would not be in for work.

    The supervisor asked what was wrong with his eyes

    The co-worker said he couldn’t see himself coming into work today. TRUE STORY.

  57. My wife worked at a restaurant in Seattle and a dishwasher didn’t show up to work for several days. When he finally came back to work he explained that two women had kidnapped him, blindfolded him and took him to Portland and forced him to clean their house while blindfolded and naked. Since he was blindfolded the entire time, it took a long time to clean their house.

    The excuse was so original (and obviously fake) that the manager didn’t fire him.

  58. A student told us she would be missing classes because her mother was dying of cancer. Later she called to inform us she would miss because she was attending her mothers funeral. The next day her mother called to ask us if she was doing okay in her classes.

  59. I once called in late because I couldn’t find my car keys and I had to wait until my husband drove over 30 miles home from his job to bring me the spare. While waiting I continuied to look, finding them about 2 minutes before my husband came home……Where were they? …… In my pocket! Yes I am a blonde, but I swear I checked my pockets. I will never live that down.

  60. I had an employee call in once because she had to go follow her husband because she thought he was cheating on her and wanted to catch him.

  61. I once had to call in because my toilet bowl suddenly fell through the ceiling into the apartment below. Fortuantely, no one was on either at the time and the pipes held it in place. I’ve had to call in because squirrels were eating thru my ceiling and I had to keep chasing them before the super showed up to lay traps and seal the ceiling. I’ve also had to call in late coming back from lunch because 2 cars collided behind my car and locked bumpers. I was facing a barrier so I couldn’t move my car. Co-workers actually came out to see the spectacle. Someone pointed out this website to me because of my dilemas. All are true. Oh well. LOL.

  62. I myself dont make a habit of calling in sick unless I am so ill that I can’t leave the bathroom or if I am running a high fever. Thats what they make medicine for people! Anyway. I started a new job in June and one of my co-workers is scheduled for 3 or 4 five and a half hour shifts each week. There has not been one day that she has been scheduled since I started working there that she has not had a problem of some kind that has forced her to come in late, or leave early or not show up at all. NOT ONE DAY. She is a very fun person who always livens up the workplace when she is there, but it is very frustrating for me when she is one or two hours late for her measley little 5 1/2 hour shift…. but she does always have the best excuses!!! for instance every monday (our busiest day of the week) she has to leave and take lunch to her son at school. They dont provide hot lunch that day at school. Therefore she has to go pick him up a happy meal or something and take it to him. My daughter takes her lunch everyday, so one day I asked her if he couldn’t just pack a lunch that day to take with him. She said no, they arent allowed to…. WTF???

  63. I once had to call in sick because my car had bald tires.
    We had a freezing rain the night before and u have to drive uphill to get out of my drive way. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get my car to make it out of the driveway. And since I lived 15 miles out of town, in the country, and the roads everywhere were icy, I couldn’t get anyone to pick me up.

  64. I had to call in sick..i couldn’t get out of my aparment building…the deadbolt jammed and the door would not open with the key or without!! They sent someone to help me get out.. I ended up having to take the pins out of the hinges to get out!! What a morning that was!!

  65. On Labor Day weekend I had a coworker call in with a sunburn that she supposedly got the day before in her garden and wouldn’t be able to come in the whole weekend. Turns out she did get a sunburn, but not in her garden on the day she claimed to get it, but during the weekend she was “sick” at the lake where her family was having a reunion.

  66. I once called in on a Monday morning because I had a large boil on my inner thigh and was going to the doctor to have it drained. MY boss was skeptical until I called back later to tell him that it was MRSA and I had to spend the next week in the hospital (isolation, too) and had to have surgery to save my life. Some things just can’t be made-up.

  67. I was a supervisor for a short time. The excuse I remember best was when an employee said he would need a few days off because his cat died. I like cats too, but that seemed a bit much. It was easy enough to cover his work, so I let him off. When he returned, he explained that his cat was more than a pet – it had to do with his religion and the process of parting with the cat and replacing it was complicated and time-consuming. I decided not to press for further details.

  68. I actually had to call in one day because my car would not shut off. The starter broke when I crank the car and jammed the key inside. It would not turn back and the key would not come out . . . sadly true.

  69. I was curling my bangs one morning getting ready for work. The hair slipped out of the curling iron and the barrel of the iron went directly in my eye. I had to call in telling my boss I burnt my eye. The next day I was asked why I could not come up with a better excuse but when I showed the hospital papers & took of the eye patch to show the burnt cornea I was sent home to rest (more from guilt of not believing me I’m sure).

  70. An employee of mine called in sick because someone close to him died. I asked who he said the homeless guy who roamed his street, then went on to recall the oooh so lovely memories of their encounters.

  71. I was managing a restaurant, everyone is required to work New Years Eve because it’s super busy and everyone wants it off… My main busser’s mother called in and said he would not be in because he had cut the end of his finger off at his day job and was heading to the hospital to see if it could be re-attached. I laughed (I knew her personally) and said tell him to get his butt to work, I need him tonight! She said, No, really, we’re on our way to the hospital. Although he did lose the end of his (middle) finger which he was gracious enough to show us in the air, lol, he was teased relentlessly for going to such extremes to get New Years Eve off!?

  72. I will never for get this one.

    I had a ex co-worker call in sick because “My dog ate my cat and I have to clean up the mess.”

    He always talked about his dog but never about owning a cat.


  73. Today of all days, let’s remember our military – those who don’t get to call in, be sick or even take off on holidays, much less make up silly excuses for not showing up. For them it’s called AWOL.

  74. I called in sick in the middle of the week once to go skiing in Tahoe. Drove up from the Bay Area Tuesday night to my friends cabin. Skied all day Wednesday, which just happened to be a beautiful sunny day. Drove home that night. When I got up Thursday for work I looked in the mirror at a full on raccoon face. I went to work anyway and had numerous people snicker and say “Sick Huh?” Never got reprimanded or questioned by the boss. But if I did I would have admitted the lie, all the while smiling, because it was totally worth it.

  75. I called into work saying I couldn’t make it because I couldn’t start my car. Which was basically true. Thing is I have a breathalizer in the car and couldn’t pass the test to start the car the morning following a night of drinking. Still drunk.

  76. I worked right up to the day before I delivered my 2nd child. My boss had 9 sons so he was very tolerant of back aches, etc. He also had a great sense of humor, very dry. The morning I delivered, my mom called in to tell him that I would not be coming in. He asked her if I needed the whole day and would I be in the following morning? My mom could not believe her ears and told me about it when she got to the hospital. I laughed so hard and made her carry the big bouquet of flowers he had sent in the meantime.

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  81. The excuse that one is not able to come to work because one’s Mum has been attacked by a chicken is not a silly excuse.
    I wish it was possible to take the writer of this article to a hen I know with chickens and he/she attempts to take its chickens! He would need to run away like “Magic Johnson” to escape its wrath. Still there is no guarantee that one will not get injured while in the process of running!
    Hens with chicken really attack if they think you want to take away their chickens even if one was just trying to feed the chickens.

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  90. A lady I used to work with, before she quit, would come up with some doozies. She fell asleep on the toilet, couldn’t open her garage door, her kitchen caught fire because she threw her coat on the counter and it pushed the switch down on the toaster oven. When she didn’t come in one night while we were in California, she finally called in 6 hours later saying she had put the hotel phone on her bed and had knocked the receiver off so she didn’t get her wakeup call (the receptionist refused to leave the fron desk to knock on her door to wake her up and I had to call the guy I relieved to go get her up). Several other guys were bowling and had a few too many, so they each called in from the same bowling alley, one at a time, FROM THE SAME PHONE (they passed it to the next person calling in until done)!

    My wife had a co-worker who would call in using the same excuse every month at ‘that’ time, saying she was ‘clotting’.

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  98. Fortunately, my boss believed this one. He had better have because it’s true.

    I’ve been in pretty good health all my life (with the exception of breaking my wrist in a bike accident in the 7th grade.) I got perfect attendance everywhere I attended (School, clubs, work, Sunday school.) Even my teachers used to joke that I’d come to class dead if I had to. I have no children.

    But somehow, someway, in my mid 20s, I managed to pick up a SERIOUS case of head lice. My head had been itching for 3 weeks, but I just chalked it up to dandruff. Until one of the nurses at my job (I work in a medical office) asked if she could take a look. My head was FULL of nits. I wrapped my head in a plastic bag to minimize the spread risk to anyone else and actually had to call my boss and tell him I was going home due to a condition usually attributed to 10 year olds.

    It actually took 3 days of nit-picking and vinegar treatments to clear them all out, even the live ones.

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